Toby R. Kirkland

October 18, 1975March 19, 2020

Toby Kirkland, 44, of Gilbert, SC, passed away unexpectedly on Thursday, March 19, 2020 at Prisma Baptist Hospital. Toby was the son of Don and Rhonda Miles Kirkland of West Columbia. He was a graduate of the University of South Carolina (BS) and Clemson University (MS).

In 1998, Toby was married to the love of his life, Stacy Ivey Kirkland, in Union, SC. They are the proud parents of two boys that have always brought them so much joy, Creed (20) and Case (18).

Toby was an entrepreneur who worked in many fields during his lifetime. Most recently, he was employed by Clemson University as the Chief of Staff of the Youth Learning Institute. Prior to this position, he worked as a general contractor and as a youth minister at the First Baptist Church of Lexington.

Toby’s faith was central in his life and, as such, he played major roles in the lives of several local churches. Most recently, he served in leadership as an Elder at Radius Church, where he and his family have worshiped since 2009. Beyond all of his many accomplishments, Toby will primarily be remembered as a humble leader with high integrity, an incredible diversity of skills and an over-the-top love for Duke Basketball. The entire Lexington community is going to miss him dearly.

Toby is survived by his beloved wife, Stacy; his sons, Creed and Case, and his mother and father, Don and Rhonda Kirkland. He also is survived by his sister, Crystal Kirkland Hightower (Torrey) of Mount Pleasant; his in-laws, Ben and Lynn Ivey of Union, SC; his brother-in-law, Mark Ivey (Kelly) of Union, SC, and five nephews, Reid Hightower, Ross Hightower, Kadin Ivey (Katie Beth), Creighton Ivey, and Benton Ivey.

On Monday, March 23, 2020, there will be a memorial service at 1:00 pm at Radius Church, located at 300 W. Main St. in Lexington, SC. Those that plan to attend are asked to wear dark blue to honor Toby’s love for Duke Basketball. With the current COVID-19 situation in our community, the public memorial service will also be made available to all online at

In lieu of flowers, gifts in Toby’s memory can be made to Crossover Athletics, a local organization he loved and served for many years.

Caughman-Harman Funeral Home, Lexington Chapel, is assisting the family with arrangements.


  • Memorial Service Monday, March 23, 2020


Toby R. Kirkland

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David and Faye Brown

April 5, 2020

Don and Rhonda and family,
We just found out about Toby’s passing. Our remembrance of Toby was always one who set the example of a godly man. Our heart breaks for you all. Praying that God will provide grace and strength to you in the days ahead. And may He surround you with His love.

Israel & Hannah Reeves

March 26, 2020

Stacy & family,

We are so sorry about your loss. In the short time that we knew Toby, we heavily admired his love for God, his neighbors, and his family. He was an incredible spiritual leader in our community. We will miss his words of wisdom, his thought-provoking questions, and his way of making each person feel heard. We love you guys and are grateful to have been able to watch the funeral via live stream. What a beautiful tribute to a life well lived. We are here for y’all in the days to come and are praying daily for peace that passes all understanding.

Hannah & Israel

Gina and terry Kirkland

March 24, 2020

Toby was always such a young gentleman even when he was a child. I knew he would conquer the world bc he wanted to do great think like fall in love, have kids, who he completely adored Don and Rhonda always spoke highly of him bc I know they loved him and the man he high toby for uncle Terry and I will see you again. We love you

Joyce Willis-Pautz

March 24, 2020

My sincere sympathy on the loss of your beloved son. May you all find comfort in knowing he is home in Heaven with his Lord.


March 24, 2020

Although we are colleagues and may have not interacted, however losing a family member is something we share in common. My heart hurts for you and your family, but what brings me some peace was the line about Toby's faith. For that we try to hold on to and ask God to sustain the entire loving and beautiful family.
Doris Chaplin

Stan Frost

March 24, 2020

I was so saddened to hear of the loss of your son. This is something that no parent ever hopes to experience. Please know that you and the entire family have been and will continue to be lifted up in prayer. May God comfort you as only He can and others support you with a love that embodies the teaching of His word.

Kimberley Bauer

March 24, 2020

So sorry to hear about the loss of your son, Toby. May you feel God's love and comfort in the days to come. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Diane Carr

March 24, 2020

Rhonda, I am so sorry to hear of this tremendous loss for you and your family. Please know that you are in my thought and prayers.

Ann Waters

March 23, 2020

Rhonda Don Stacy Creed & Case I'm sorry I couldn't be there in person but I did get to see the service on line. I still can't believe that Toby is no longer with us . From all the testimonies Toby truly was a great father, son, and leader and will be missed. My heart goes out to each and everyone of you! I can only imagine what you all are going through. May my prayers be with you. Love Ann&Jr

JJ Marcum

March 23, 2020

What a beautiful celebration of Toby. We were so thankful to be able to "attend" the service even while social distancing for my mom. We hated to not be there in person.
Brian and I are both thankful we got to see y'all around Christmas after not running into y'all for a long while. We are praying for you and the boys. We are heartbroken for you as you go through these next seasons of life. Hugs to you, my friend and hope to see you soon.

JJ and Brian