My sister Mary had just started high school at Redford High School in Detroit, and she was having a really hard time emotionally.  I watched as our Mom gently pried it out of her what was the problem.  She said through her tears that she just felt like a misfit. She didn’t fit in anywhere in the groups that are the emotional high school hazard of schools everywhere.  She was so lonely and discouraged!  Mom sat with her in our living room on the couch with her arm around Mary’s shoulders.   (I’m sure she was praying underneath to ask for wisdom how to help her devastated daughter.) And then Mom shared some wisdom that I wish every high school student could tap into.  Mom said she was sure, that if Mary would just look around the lunchroom at high school, she would notice other people sitting by themselves, isolated and alone, misfits to the social groups gathered in their exclusive standoffishness.  Mom said to go up to one of those misfits and sit down and begin a conversation.  And then she and that other person could go find another lonely misfit , and again find another lonely misfit and add that person to their little circle of friends.  And so on.
  Mary took that advice.  I think Dolores Fancil might have been one of the first people she reached out to, and then there was Meredith, a deep voiced tenor-singing, guitar-playing girl, and Mike, a humorously comedic fellow of large girth, and maybe a couple others who I don’t immediately recall.  Together they formed a group of fast friends, the misfits of their classmates but with deeper, more faithful relationships than any of the other groups that fluidly came and went around them.  Mary was blessed by the relationships she formed at that time, and so was our family! They hung around for years, teaching songs, telling funny stories, being a support to each other and to us, too.

My aunt Mary was someone I knew mostly by reputation, through the eyes of my mom, her sister, through the way my mom would always cheer up when interacting with her.  I knew she cared deeply about her family, even the more distant members, and I always appreciated that whenever my family was in crises, she was in the prayer chain of people thinking about us.

I remember she had an easy smile, and a warm demeanor, that she was calm and gentle and just made you feel at home.  Though I didn't have a close relationship with her, I will miss her nonetheless, miss having the chance to catch up and just sit down and talk about everything.

I hope at least now to hear many more stories about her, to honor and respect her memory and her impact on my life and others.  I will miss you, Mary, and I hope we can catch up on things beyond the veil one day.

Mary and I met when we were  eleven.  Her  school had changed their boundaries so now she went to my school. Mary was someone that everyone wanted as a friend. I am so grateful she became my friend/BFF. My brother saw in Mary what I did. He married her and she became my sister. There is one little memory that always brings a smile. Mary and I were walking down a very icy sidewalk. Mary lost her footing. In an effort to save herself she grabbed a stop sign. Her momentum made her twist around that pole til she was on the ground laughing. I am heartbroken that she has gone on with out us.i will miss her forever.

My sister Mary and I would occasionally visit each other, and one time when I came to Canton to visit her, we went shopping at a mall.  I was gimpy from bursitis and walking with a cane, and Mary was achy, too. A couple of kids kind of ran by us and made remarks about not knocking over the old ladies. Mary and I looked at each other and realized how true that was.  We had become a couple of old ladies! We laughed with each other and continued on our gimpy way!
    Mary was my Matron of Honor for my wedding in August of 1984, and it was wonderful to see all the Goudie family members who attended.  This photo captures one of the few times so many Goudies were together in one place!   I regret that we didn’t make time to hold more reunions than we did.  But weddings and funerals are the times when it’s almost obligatory that everyone show up. (Except for now in COVID-19 times!)

My sister Mary was three years older  than me.  We went to movies together, watched tv together,  walked the dog together, flew kites together and rode bikes together.  When we went to the movie Hatari! together, Mary was so taken with the actor who played the Aussie race car driver Kurt, she wanted to stay and watch the whole movie the second time through, so we stayed.  When we saw  Wait Until Dark together and the guy jumps out of the closet in the dark at Audrey Hepburn, the only reason I didn’t scream is because my sweet sister beat me  to  it.   When I was about 11 and Mary was  14, Mary was  taking  Confirmation classes with her close friend Dolores Fancil and learning a lot about our shared Christian faith . Dolores was Catholic, and our family were members of the United Methodist Church.   Mary and I  were walking our dog Lady around the block one night and somehow we got to discussing what the Bible says about Jesus. It was that late evening walk around the block with the dog, in conversation with my sister, that brought me to my personal commitment of faith in Jesus.  I am forever grateful.

Mary was my Aunt. The last time I remember seeing her in person was several years ago, but she reached out to me on Facebook to ask how I was doing many times. I will miss her kind heart and loving soul. 

Today is Mary's birthday, Oct. 28TH..  Mary was one of the sweetest, very intelligent, and loving person you will ever find.  I thank God for the blessing ❤️ of knowing her.  She will always be remembered as my lifelong close friend.


Mary has been in my life for as long as I can remember. She was my sister's best friend and married my brother when I was 16 yrs old.  So if I thought of Carl it was simultaneous that I thought of Mary. Some years ago I started calling her Sis. She said it meant a lot to her.  I told her if anyone qualified she had put the years in. We had a good laugh.                A couple of weeks ago I ran into Carl and Mary at Meijers. She gave me a big hug  and said I know I shouldn't because of covid-19 but I'm a hugger. Carl and I laughed and bumped elbows.  I never dreamed it would be the last time I talked to her.  She will be greatly missed.      

OBITUARY

Mary M. Fancil

October 28, 1947 – October 26, 2020

Harry J Will Funeral Homes

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