Raymond E. Conway "Ray"

Raymond E. Conway of Livonia, Michigan was a Marine Corps Veteran of the Korean War and a proud graduate of St. Gregory Catholic School in Detroit. He also attended Adrian College and Wayne State University.

Ray passed away peacefully on August 16 Age 81. He was the beloved husband of Janet for 54 years. Loving father of Chris Conway, Jeff Conway, Terry Conway, Pat (Cheryl) Conway, Jane (Rob) Olenzek and Joe (Hilary) Conway. Grandpa of Alisha Conway, Aidan Conway, Kendall Conway, Avery Conway, John Conway, Blake Olenzek, Lily Conway and Dylan Conway

with another grandchild on the way.

He was born to the late Albert and Helen Conway in Rockville Centre, New York on July 20, 1931 and is survived by his sister Patsy Strawman, his brother-in-law John Dalfonsi, many nieces and nephews, as well as many cherished friendships.

Raymond was part owner of a successful business in the food industry. However, he has enjoyed a happy retirement playing golf, watching sports and going to see musicals. He loved going to local casinos and Las Vegas. He also enjoyed the companionship of his beloved dog Jazmyn who passed away before him.

The family will receive friends for a Visitation on Sunday, August 19, 2012 from 3-8pm with a 7pm Vigil, led by Deacon Gary Pardo at Harry J. Will Funeral Home – Livonia Chapel.

The Funeral Mass will be at 10:00am Monday, Aug 20, 2012 with the final viewing from 9:30am - 10:00am at

St. Colette Catholic Church, Livonia, Michigan

The Funeral Mass will be led by Father Gary Michalik, assisted by Deacon Gary Pardo and will conclude with a military honors ceremony conducted by the United States Marine Corps Funeral Honors Team.

Raymond's final place of rest will be in Great Lakes National Cemetery, Holly, Michigan.

Memorial Donations may be made in Ray's name to Boys Town http://www.boystown.org/

or Angela Hospice Care Center,14100 Newburgh Road, Livonia, Michigan 48154, (734) 464-7810

www.angelahospice.org/

The following submission is the eulogy that was said by Ray's son Chris.

In November 2009 my Mom and Dad and I attended Dominic Paesani’s funeral. I remember it being a wonderful service and fitting tribute to a truly great man who left a wonderful legacy for our shared family. It must have had impact on my Dad because it was then and there he asked me to say the eulogy for him at his funeral when the time would come. I agreed right away to do it but remember thinking soon after “what am I gonna say? Well, hopefully I’ll have a lot of time to think abut it”

I put it out of my mind for a long time but it eventually became evident that the time to do this was imminent. So I started to begin to gather what needed to be said. Because like Dominic, my Dad is from a generation that should be recognized and honored for who they were and how much they impacted their close friends and family.

Whether you were one of his six children like me or another family member, a life-long friend, a golfing buddy, a neighbor, a co-worker, an acquaintance…however you knew Ray you had a perspective, a unique personalized relationship with him. I believe that each of the six of us had our own special relationship with him even though to each one of us he was equally our Dad.

As my Dad began to build his family starting with me as his first child I liken him to an apprentice rough carpenter building a house. He built the frame, made sure it was structurally sound, but measured once, cut twice. By the time the youngest were born nine years later, our Dad had become a journeyman finish carpenter. He put in fancy molding and trim and he learned to measure twice, cut once. So, maybe my perspective is slightly different than some of my siblings. But no matter where you were in the mix we all knew this: our Dad loved us, believed in us and wanted only the best for us. And that truth remains still.

My Dad was a great provider. There is no question we attribute our work ethic to our Dad. His relentless effort for all those years to get up at 3am to work hard on 10 hour shifts was just his one of the ways he showed his love for us.

We always had what we needed. He took care of us. He took us on vacations, bought us ice cream, played with us in the pool, encouraged us to get along with one another. He loved sports and was very involved with our sporting activities.

He coached us in football, spent accumulative years sitting in hockey rinks and took stats for the high school football team I played on. I think that came in handy when it came to how many tackles I got credit for. He regularly came to school events and other activities. If it was important to us it was generally also important to him to be there for us.

Certainly, it is times like this that we become reflective. We perhaps start to see patterns and ironies. My Dad died 25 years almost to the day of the death of his mother Helen Conway. It is 40 years this summer of the death of his father Albert Conway. And we’ll soon be welcoming in another Conway grandchild, the 9th. As it is stated in the book of Ecclesiastes there is indeed “a season for every activity under Heaven, a time to be born and a time to die”. Perhaps that is why this Old Testament book is 12 chapters in length, the same as the amount of months in a year.

We enter this world as a baby, dependent on every basic need. We eventually develop into an independent adult, capable of handling our own affairs and managing through life on our own. Then often, as in the case of our Dad, we end up where we started: relying on others to care for the basic needs once again. This is perhaps where we would get the phrase “once an adult, twice a child”. We certainly remember Dad during better times even though we see him last in this way. As I would take care of my Dad near the end of is life it made me think of how he took care of me and my brothers and sister…with gentleness, care and patience…well, no that was my Mom but he was a good back-up!

But seriously, my Dad had a soft side. He was benevolent, generous, honest and thoughtful. Usually with a tough exterior, I saw him cry many times. He had a deep relationship with his sister my Aunt Pat. He loved each one of us dearly as I mentioned but was especially tender with his only daughter Jane. He had great relationships with each of his nieces and nephews, even those who lived out-of-State. He loved his grandchildren and relished the times spent with each of them, the local ones and the ones who lived far away. His relationship with his brother-n-law John was always good but like fine wine matured nicely toward the end. And he had a great love for my Mom. They were able to counteract their frequent differences and disagreements with eventual grace and forgiveness. This was hugely instrumental in enabling my Mom and Dad to stay married for 54 years. And for those who are taking stats that is as long as the Lions have gone without winning a championship. It’s been a long time indeed.

Some facts about my Dad:

Did you know my Dad was right handed?

Did you know he shot pool left-handed?

And he put his wallet in his left pocket?

He loved chocolate.

I personally think I acquired my sweet tooth from him.

He introduced me to Milky Ways, probably my favorite candy bar.

He showed me they are best after being in the fridge for a while.

I think I inherited his whistle which was an indication

he was in a good mood.

And he loved musicals.

Some of his favorites are

“West-Side Story”

“An American in Paris”

“Guys and Dolls”

And it is fitting that he died on the 35th anniversary of Elvis’ death.

Even though he wasn’t a huge Elvis fan I think it is kind of cool.

Speaking of cool I loved the name Ray. It is a classic name that I think he was proud to have. He always said it with authority. “Hi, Ray Conway”. It is not overly popular but Ray is in some good company with other Rays. Like Ray Charles, Sugar Ray Leonard, Sci-Fi author Ray Bradbury and actor Ray Liotta who played Shoeless Joe Jackson in “Field of Dreams”. There’s Ray Ban Sunglasses. Laser ray. Sting ray. And of course ray of sunshine.

As I prepared for this I wondered what the word “eulogy” actually meant. It is Classical Greek for "good words". How appropriate. We are sharing amongst ourselves good words about a good man. Taking it further, if you say the word phonetically YOU-LA-GEE. You might agree it’s about HIM but it’s FOR YOU and ME. So, what will YOU and I take from this man?

This man who has given so much to us?

Life is a circle. It begins where it ends. And it ends where it begins.

What is left is a sphere.

A circle, an unending loop.

The cycle of life continues to spin, round and round like the shape of the globe that we are on.

Like the wheels on a bike or a car it spins near and far.

Who’s in your sphere of influence?

How are you affecting your world?

As you think of Ray’s influence on you let us also think of what kind of influence you would have on others.

I believe my Dad is in Heaven. The scriptures say there is only one way to Heaven. However, there are many ways to Christ. Despite his rough, no-nonsense way my Dad believed all of us are sinners saved by grace and that we need a Savior to get to Heaven. For that reason, we who profess Christ as Savior can be comforted in knowing we will see him again in Heaven.

None of us want to say good-bye to ones who are special to us. I think that is why times like these are especially hard. We are left with a gaping hole. However, it can be filled with the cherished memories, relationships

formed, lessons learned. We already miss Dad but we are still learning from him and we will never forget him. And we should celebrate his life in a way that we would individually express how we feel about him.

Through the years we would regularly find ourselves asking one or more of four questions:

What would Dad think?

What would Dad say?

What would Dad do?

What would Dad want?

These would be important questions to answer properly in order to not get in trouble.

Dad loved a party with the people he loved. We wish he is here.

Well, he is here. He’s here in our hearts and in our minds.

Let’s remember him as we move forward.

Moving forward let’s answer this question right: “What would Dad want?”