Mark Allen Noltemeyer

Mark Allen Noltemeyer, born December 8, 1955, to Norbert and Angela (Mattingly) Noltemeyer of Okolona, both now deceased; photo-toting father of Michael Allen and Angela Claire; sibling of Norbert Jr. (deceased), Lois Hart (Bill), Mary Anne Williams (Larry), Don (Susan), Linda Junk (Paul), and David (Kim); uncle to a dozen; cousin to countless; dear friend to countless more; proud graduate of St. Rita Grade School, DeSales High School (Sail Goats Class of 1973), and Bellarmine University (Class of 1977); member of the “Lost Boys” of St. Thomas Seminary; noted raconteur; recently retired Vice President and Corporate Controller of American Commercial Barge Lines (2006–2020); former VP and Chief Financial Officer of Hosparus (2003–2006); former Assistant Corporate Controller for Tricon Global Restaurants (1997–2002), Senior VP of Finance for Rally’s Hamburgers (1993–1997), Worldwide Director of Technical Accounting for Kentucky Fried Chicken (1985–1993), Controller for Paoli Furniture (1983–1985), and Audit Manager for Arthur Young (1977–1983); former stock boy at Winn-Dixie, burger flipper at Burger Queen, and occasional deliverer of the Courier-Journal; lifelong fan of New York Yankee baseball and Kentucky Wildcat basketball and football; 27-time loser of the most lopsided bet in sports history until Kentucky finally beat Tennessee in 2011; lover of Basil Hayden bourbon, book binges, crosswords, spreadsheets, and Buzztime bar trivia; regular at Napa River Grill, Captain’s Quarters, and the Goshen Store; former favorite at Austin’s on Brownsboro and TGI Friday’s on Lime Kiln and Linn Station Road; longtime lover of live music and supporter of local musicians, especially Brandon Holder and Mickey Clark & The Blue Norther; fixture at Actors Theatre’s annual production of A Christmas Carol for over 25 years; 36-year season ticket holder for University of Louisville football; owner of the only recorded dunk in the history of the CPA recreational basketball league, which he sheepishly admitted was an error in calculation; whop-“s***!” golfer, family historian, and patient fishing Coach; progenitor of the “Italian leather glove treatment” for soft-pedaling unfavorable earnings reports—what he called “the curse of the mildly talented”—and inspiration for “Ode to a Noltemeyer,” Parts I and II, written in tribute by his staffs at KFC and Rally’s; font of useless information, Words with Friends fiend, and frequent quoter of The Shawshank Redemption; daily shower singer of The Beatles, Jim Croce, Jimmy Buffett, and George Strait; devoted lover of dogs (including Casey, Noah, Abby, and Roux); enthusiastic eater of spaghetti with fake Parmesan, calamari, country ham, jam cake, and croquettes, both salmon and banana; equal-opportunity applicator of ketchup to fried fish and French fries because they both swim in the grease; hefty tipper and crafty tab picker-upper; soft touch on Metro United Way’s annual fundraising tour, quick and loud to laugh and generous to a fault; died suddenly and unexpectedly on Saturday, March 13, 2021. Visitation will be at Arch L. Heady & Son Funeral Home in Okolona on Friday, March 19, from 2 P.M. until 8 P.M. A funeral mass will be held at St. Rita Catholic Church at 10 A.M. on Saturday, March 20. In lieu of flowers, please send memorial contributions to Best Buddies Kentucky: https://www.bestbuddies.org/kentucky/donate