Stephen Patten, you were always so welcoming, kind and the life of the party.  One time in particular, I remember it was April 15th, we both had just paid lovely taxes and Leigh phoned me.  Brian and I were on our way back from dinner, Leigh said why don’t you guys stop by.  We did, drank and laughed so hard. I remember Leigh and I just about peed our pants, you had us laughing so hard.  Spent holidays and celebrated birthdays with you and your family.  So many happy memories, my family and I will remember forever.  

The Pattens welcomed my son and I to Journey School. We first met in 2016 when Ben started the 4th grade. Leigh and Stephen invited us to their home for the holidays and even allowed my son to workout with Ben in their garage. Granite remembers going over to their home and the boys enormous Lego collection! Granite recalls how appreciative Stephen was that he was working out following a fitness program with his son. Stephen loved his family with all his heart. His generous spirit extended to all and we continue to smile while remembering Stephen's warmth and attention.  We continue to pray  for you- Leigh,  Ben and Nathan. With love, Ms. Erin + Granite

I am Stephen’s sister-in-law (Leigh’s sister). The memory I am choosing to share is when I was first introduced to Stephen in 2005 when Leigh and him first started dating… I have never shared the entire story (even with Leigh) until now. Back in 2005, I was living with my sister and preparing to go to college in Chicago. I remember I was worried about leaving my sister all alone in that house. I remember I almost didn’t go to college in Chicago because of that reason.

It was a Friday night, I get home, and go inside. I walk up to the kitchen (it was a split level floor plan) and I see a man’s shoes. I remembering noting that it was strange for a stranger to get so comfortable in a strangers home that he left his shoes and socks by the front door. 

I walk upstairs and there is this giant man sitting on the couch petting my sisters dog Bono with his bare feet. My 21 years old, immature self, thought… “who the hell pets a strangers dog with their feet?!“. So very strange! 

I gave him the stink eye. He stood up and I went to stick my hand out to shake his hand and he just went right in for the hug. He introduced himself and immediately started asking me 20 questions about the college. During the duration of us talking, he went back to petting the dog with his feet. So odd. Little did I know at the time that this is the perfect description of him in one image. 

After speaking for a while, he blurted out (in his verbal vomit manner) that he really liked my sister and that I didn’t need to worry about leaving my sister when I went away to college, and that he was pretty sure he already loved her (but not to tell her that because he would look less cool). I responded not to worry, he was already pretty uncool 🤣🤣🤣. This would define our future relationship. 

He gave me peace of mind and made it okay for me to leave, which was the best gift anybody could have given me. I knew my sister was going to be okay and taken care of. (Contd on another post) 

Dude.  I thought we had more time. Already missing you.  

One word to describe Stephen:  irrepressible.   You just couldn’t hold him back.  He was passionate and had a huge heart and that’s what I loved about him.  We worked together for the past couple of years and sometimes, I had to tell him things he didn’t want to hear. But what I loved was, he didn’t turn away, he kept coming back, he wanted to know.  Because of that we became friends.  I remember sitting down with him for lunch, for breakfast.. whatever time we could carve out.  Recently we were discussing home projects and he said, “here, I got this laser level — you need this, trust me”.  I didn’t even know what it was but sure enough I needed it and he was happy to lend it.  I got the impression he was like that with everyone.  

One last thing, I don’t feel like I really picked Stephen to be my friend .. he picked me.  And it seems he did that with a whole lot of people.  

Leigh and Ben and Nathan .. my heart goes out to you guys .. please know I’m praying for you.  

When I think of Uncle Steve, I think of his contagious laugh and the ability to tell hilarious stories.  My favorite memory is when we were sitting around the couch at grandma and papa’s house listening to him tell the story of when he found a long stray hair on grandma’s ear. We laughed until we cried! I will also always appreciate his interest in my education and providing me with materials to help me with my schooling.  Although we didn’t get to see Uncle Steve frequently due to living on opposite ends of the country,  I’m thankful he was able to meet his great nephews. He will be missed dearly but I will cherish those memories. Love you Uncle Steve! 

Stephen was a wonderful and caring neighbor.  Always ready to lend a hand and help out when needed.  Todd and Stephen enjoyed sharing tools and tips on how to work different yard and household jobs and the girls were always looking out for him and wondering what he was working on.  His smile and laughs will be missed.  Love you guys.

Stephen was one of the most kind, caring, loving friends I have known.  He loved Leigh, Ben, and Nathan to no end.  I had the honor of tutoring Ben and Nathan when the family lived in Orange County, CA. Stephen always had the coolest stuff that he was working on with the boys like the computer tower that looked straight out of the movie Tron. He loved being involved with their projects and would even chaperone school trips.  He truly loved being a dad and husband. He was so sweet not only to me but also to my son who had recently graduated with a degree in computer science. Stephen mentored him and would make sure to check in with him.  He was just that type of guy - always ready to help, always concerned about everyone else. I am devastated by his loss.  My heart goes out to Leigh, Benjamin and Nathan. I love you all.

One of my most favorite memories of Uncle Steve would be the time he came to visit when I was a kid. Him and I built a Hot Wheels race track and raced Hot Wheels for hours. I will miss the holidays, when the family got together and the laughter and jokes would start. He had a way of lighting up a room and bringing out those deep belly laughs that felt like an ab workout when you were done. I will miss him greatly, and I can’t wait to see him again, and when I do, I am going to bring the greatest Hot Wheels track of all times! I love you Uncle Steve, you will be missed greatly. 

My favorite Steve memory is actually the last time I saw my brother. We were at my sister’s house in Texas.  I had gone through a personal tragedy not too much before this, and Steve made sure to ask me to take a walk so we could talk about it.  As he would do on the phone when I was younger, Steve heard me out and made sure I was OK, he let me say the things I might not feel I could say in front of other people, and he let me shed some tears.  But then he reminded me of all of the potential good that the future holds even in the midst of hurt and pain, and he gave me a big bear hug.  And it was one of those good hugs where you don’t feel like you have to let go right away...except for the fact that I opened my eyes and saw a bobcat yards away from us, just lapping up some water in the alley behind my sister’s house.  Steve and I just stood there staring at it and it stared at us for a moment, and then just went right back to drinking its water.  Steve turned to me and simply said, “Well, that just happened.”
But that’s how it was with him.  He took the moment as it was, sat back and observed it, and said just what was needed to be said at that moment.  He is very well known for his quick wit, but I think it’s important for us to always remember his great intelligence, his depth of insight, and how genuinely friendly he was.  He did not know a stranger, and this is evidenced by how many people truly cared for him. 


I will never forget calling Stephen on January 7, 2020 at 7:30 in the morning and telling him that the kids had a snow day and the schools were closed. I told Stephen that the Caputo boys were going skiing at Wintergreen.

Stephen jumped right on board with his usual “Dude!” comment and told me that he would grab the boys and meet us there.

I had no idea that Stephen would choose to take the Prius over the four wheel drive Landrover and drive up the mountain in a snow storm that closed down all of the local schools. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the three Patten boys roll out of a tiny electric car with two snowboards and one adult set of skis in hand. You can see what the weather was like in the attached photo of us on the lift… nearly white out conditions!

It was a great day with a great friend. I will miss him dearly. Stephen was like no other person that I know… the best friend a friend could be.

I had the pleasure of getting to know your dad through Journey School. What I remember the most about your dad is that he was always making me laugh and giving me his hard earned money whenever I was fundraising for the school. A few times your mom had already given me money but when your dad saw me walking by with the clipboard he just gave me more! I also remember that he helped out a lot at school and specifically remember him painting the new sheds with Paul. I also remember some fun parties at your California house!!  What I really loved about your dad was how generous he was, how fun he was, how he was always willing to help out, but most of all I know that he was so very proud of his boys. He was a gentleman and raised you both to be the same. I am so grateful that I could call him my friend. Your father will be missed by so many people and I’m sorry that you boys lost him so young. We love you! The Carey family

I was jogging through Springdale Park in Aliso Viejo one day and as I went to cross the street a parked car honked its horn so loud right as I crossed in front of the car.  I jumped what felt like 3 feet in the air and it turned out to be Stephen sitting behind the wheel of the car.  There he was hysterically laughing as I tried to recover from the horn honk.  

As only Stephen could do, he then hopped out of the car and we had a long talk that covered everything from was I wearing enough sunscreen on my run, and was I being safe on the trails, to the plans our families had for the weekend. 

I saw Stephen a few more times on my runs around town and he always honked and waived.





I can close my eyes and see Stephen standing in front of the Patten house on Motherlode Ct with a huge grin on his face as he watched Ben and Nathan playing with all the other kids on the block. He was the dad who brought out the toys so all the kids would come out of their houses. My twin boys, Nic and Dylan, would start shouting "Ben and Nathan are out! Ben and Nathan are out!" and it would be bike and scooter races, nerf wars, and train building with Stephen egging the kids on. My kids were risk averse, to say it mildly, and getting them to even attempt to ride a bike, with all of the falls along the way, was like pulling teeth. I remember Stephen got it in his head that Dylan was going to learn to ride a bike. He spent days talking it up to him and then one evening after work and school, when everyone was out, Stephen pushed Dylan up and down the street until finally he was able to let go. I honestly don't know who's grin was bigger, Dylan's or Stephen's! 

Our family will always remember Stephen as the funnest dad on the block and his spirit and memory live on in all the kids who grew up with him down the street.

One memory I have was when the whole Patten family stayed at our house a few days on their move to Virginia. We were in the front yard one afternoon throwing the football, and people walking by were saying "hi" to Stephen, and he knew their names.  Stephen had been there two days, and we lived here five years.  I did not know any of these people.  He was just that kind of guy. RIP brother.

Leigh 
We are so sorry for your loss. 

Stephen and you guys were the friendliest neighbor we ever had. 

When I first met Stephen, he was walking Buster in front of our house. 5 min in the conversation, we became friends, our dogs became friends, Siena and Skylar were riding bikes with Ben and Nathan in your front yard.

We had blast mountain biking in Aliso Woods. 
We got half drunk doing rum tasting after my trip back from the Caribbean’s. 
We enjoyed dinner at your house, watching kids playing in the pool. 
We had good time in Danakai, his favorite sushi joint. 

Stephen was so stoked about moving to the east coast, hard decision, but stoked. He said: you are gonna have so many new places to explore, you can see the beautiful leaves in autum, you can feel the snow in winter, house on the big field, Ben and Nathan can run…….

I always think Stephen is the guy who got this “life” thing all figured out. He is always happy, always up-beat. 

Life gives surprises, we all have our destinies.

Take good care of yourself. Take good care of Ben and Nathan. 
Stephen is in a good place now, we will all miss him.  

Wei

Steve and I were definitely two peas in a pod- he and I were most alike.  Sometimes we clashed because of this, but there was a bond between us like no other.   Oh boy did we get into trouble growing up.  Two goofballs ignoring mom and dad to “settle down”.   He tormented all his sisters.  My best stories (which I can share here) are him chasing me around the Iowa farm with a pig’s feet.   Or when he hid behind our mom and dad’s bed and jumped out to scare me but it went bad because his tooth’s ended up on my knee and I have a scar to prove this. Lol. 
Steve, you were so loved by me and by so many.  Why did you leave us so soon?  I will never get a birthday call from you again.  I will never hear a sentence composed with 7  F-bombs ever again.   Who is going to tell all the kiddos (your word) all the tall tales you told??   And who else could ever replace that smile of yours??  You never met a stranger.  You loved with all your heart.  You treated everyone equally and people gravitated to you.  Your shoes are way too big to ever be filled.  Big brother, I miss you terribly and regret every moment I didn’t seize to be with you.  I’m sorry for that. 
I love you and will see you one day again. 
Your sister,
Sue
XO

When I think back on moments I had with Uncle Stephen, they are full of laughter. The most prominent part of his personality in my life was his sense of humor. The story that always goes around among family and friends was when he locked me in a dark basement as a child in Iowa at a house I had never been to before. That was the epitome of humor for him and although I was scared at the time, it’s always been funny to look back on. I am so grateful that when I was in middle school we started going to visit him, Aunt Leigh, Ben, and Nathan. Every summer I came to visit and I left with tons of new stories and great memories. He will always hold a big piece of my heart and will live forever in fond memories. 

You were a fireball Steven. 

You were always a pleasure to interact with and always left me thinking that the problems you were tackling were in good hands. I did not know you well enough or for long enough and that feels wrong because interacting with you always felt like we were life-long friends. Losing you feels like I lost a part of me, and in this feeling I am sure I am not alone.

You are already missed.

 Stephen must have found a Genie in a bottle along the California coast.  He got his three wishes.  He met and married the love of his life, Leigh Anne, and together, they gave us Ben and Nathan.  They meant everything to him.  He only ever wanted the best for his family, and they found genuine happiness in Virginia.

I'm grateful for every moment we spent together.  Even as an adult, he never lost sight of his inner child and could always make me laugh. I loved Stephen immensely, and I know he loved me because he was never afraid to say that he did.  

I’m going to miss his big bear hugs and his silly Grinch grin.  He is forever in my heart.  ❤️

So sorry to hear of Steve's passing.  He was a great friend to many at Stevenson High School.   He was well-known with his bright personality.  Sending love and sincere condolences to his family.  

Steve was a friend from the Burton Hollow neighborhood in our high school days. Sad to hear the news. My thoughts and prayers to his family and friends.

Steve was an early childhood friend, in middle school hanging out once at Steve's house in his bedroom goofing around and for no reason he punched me in the face and laughed😄 he thought it was funny, he was always a big personality even at a young age

Steve was a wonderful childhood freind and neighbor growing up in  Button Hollow Subdivision. Prayers to his loving family so sad to hear. 
Jeff Hayden 

I remember the first week Stephen was in the Lynchburg office, I was working late one evening and he had wandered down to my side of the floor (down from IT). He peeked in my door and said "where can a guy find a place to squat for a meeting?" I stepped out and shared with him some good locations for meetings. What struck me was this big smile he had, and that I felt like I had known him forever. Unfortunately, I didn't get to know him as well as others may have. But he left a great impression. My deepest sympathy to the family and friends. 

So sorry to hear of Stephen's passing. I first met him several years ago during a joint company event.  We were in the same breakout session.  We had some tech banter and disagreed the whole session, but by the time it was over, we were laughing. Then after, every time  I saw him in passing or in a meeting we would joke about our first encounter.  I didn't know him well but the few interactions I had left me knowing what a "huge" personality he had.  I am so sorry for your loss and send my prayers and heartfelt condolences to you.

Steve was a very good friend of mine growing up. We had not seen each other in a very long time and I am so thankful we were able to spend time together this summer when he and his family were in town. I was very sad to hear the news of his passing, but that sadness is quickly replaced by fond memories when I reflect back on all the goods time we had hanging out together as kids. God bless you my friend.

I met Steve in 1980.  He was one of my first friends at Stevenson High.  We met at some religious ‘catichism class’ at St Aidans and were soon skipping class to hang out.  Then 3 years at Stevenson and occasionally sipping 151 Bicardi  in his folks Cadillac and playing football we were great friends.  Roomed together for a little after college.  Then reconnected more recently.  Loved the guy like a brother.  Will miss his smile-always showed his huge soul.  Will me you my brother amen

OBITUARY

Stephen Michael Patten

May 4, 1964 – October 18, 2021

Whitten Timberlake Chapel

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