Betty Lou Barber

April 26, 1936 – September 13, 2026

Betty Lou Passadori Barber, known as “GrandBetty” or “G-Bets”, to her eighteen grand and great-grandchildren, died peacefully of natural causes in Merced at age 90. She followed her husband, Howard, by just 25 days.

Born in Atwater, California, she was the only child of Bill and Helen Passadori. She attended Buhach School, Our Lady of Mercy Grammar School and Merced High School, proudly hammering the glockenspiel in the percussion section of the Merced Marching 100.

Betty attended San Jose State University, transferring to the College of the Pacific as a member of Epsilon sorority. A date arranged by a fraternity brother who “thought they might get along” introduced her to Howard Barber. Betty and Howard were married at Our Lady of Mercy church in Merced on April 6, 1958, and celebrated 68 years together earlier this year. Both pursued teaching as their careers, leading through example to truly become the “Teachers of Teachers”.

Betty and Howard raised six children in Merced: Robert (Nancy Hamlin), Janet (Lawrence Freemon), Angela (Keith Fletcher), William (Michelle Burmester), Alan (Dana Peters) and Benjamin (Margaret Bolt). All six graduates numbered proudly among the Marching 100 supplying reeds, brass, percussion, a band president, a drum major and one second alternate letter carrier.

Over the 14 total years that her children were in high school band, Berry Lou donated hundreds of hours to supporting all Merced performers in band reviews, field shows, and concerts as a firm-but-consistent uniform mother. It was once reported that a snippy uniform complaint from an overly demanding student was quietly answered by him finding his trouser legs stitched together.

Over many decades, Betty was an advocate for mothers’ rights during childbirth, educating and supporting thousands of parents, doctors, nurses, and administrators. Her devotion to expectant and nursing mothers enriched the lives of many generations of local families. She taught Lamaze classes to promote natural, husband-coached childbirth and was a primary La Leche League leader for more than two decades promoting breastfeeding and nutrition.

Her music ministry along with Howard to the Catholic churches in Merced and Atwater provided many years of hand bell, piano and organ accompaniment as well as voices (and uniforms) of the Little Angels choir. In her early seventies Betty earned a Master Gardener designation and delighted elementary school classes in Merced, often accompanied by chickens. Her hands-in-the-dirt showcases have been an inspiration to many.

Those wishing to honor Betty’s legacy may donate to Hinds Hospice of Merced. The family wishes to thank “Team Barber” for extra-angelic care.

A combined memorial celebration for HownBet will be held at a later date. As Betty Lou often said to Howard, “Where you go, I go!”