Hello Eric and Family. My name is Kiesha. I knew Eric in middle school at Parkman. He was my first "boyfriend" so I'll never forget him. I remember most his smile, shoulder length wavy hair with bangs, Van's sneakers, and his hands down deep in his pockets. He was a sweetheart.  Eric admired his big brother Jack and spoke about him and his little brother often.  I seem to recall Jack having a girlfriend named Linda way back then.

I was recently reminiscing with another friend and it made me think of Eric so I googled and came across this memorial.  Eric and I never kept in touch beyond middle school so he may not have remembered me. However, upon learning of his passing I wanted to send my condolences and remind you all that Eric is loved across time and space even by people who knew him very briefly many years ago. I wish you all the best.

-Kiesha

Hi Mijo: 
I have not forgotten you. I have not written to you and only visited you once.
I promise to do better.

Life as usual has its ups & downs. Mine has been on a roller coaster. I am hopeful that it will balance out in the near future.

Jack, Linda & Miles are doing fine. Both Jack & Linda are working, Miles moved to Boston and working there with a DNA medical office. (I think its medical.) He invited me to visit him. I will but not until the weather becomes warmer.

Scott I am worried about. He is determined to go camping out in the wilderness. I wish he would be more focused in taking care of himself. But he isn't. I am doing my best to not judge him. He wants to explore, live life without strings attached. But that comes with a price that I believe may impact his health. Therefore, I am doing my best to get him medical coverage with Kaiser. In case he needs it when he returns, I can be at peace knowing that he is receiving the best care available to him.

My work is also on a roller coaster. Some days I do well, others I do not. My treatment is getting better. My paperwork continues to suffer.

The Eagles won 52 Super Bowl. They beat the Patriots. It was a great game. Scott & I watched the game with Jack, Linda, BJ & Essie. We missed your presence, humor & appetite. I remembered how much you love sandwiches. Linda & I split the cost for meats & cheese & bread. It turned out to be a good day, no arguments. It was very pleasant. Scott spend the night at Jack's. They had not spend time together since September last year.

Well Mijo. Pray for us. I know you are safe. I will continue to pray the rosary for you, our family & friends.

Oh yea, I forgot to tell you that I saw a billboard with Maria Elena Durazo's name & picture of her endorsing her for California State Senate. Once my job duties become more stabilized, I may volunteer for her campaign.  We will see.

I love you & miss you. I wish I could see you and spend time with you. I want to hold you and kiss you.
Love,
Mom

Hi Mijo.
I have a job interview on Friday, May 5th, Cinco de Mayo. I am hoping that I will be celebrating that day that I was employed. Pray for me. If you can pull some strings please do so. I must work if I am to get ahead.  This month was the worst financially. Today is the 3rd and I am already broke.

You remember Marva, don't you? I will be staying with her and maybe over the weekend. I am anxious. I will pray and ask God to provide me with guidance and direction.  I will keep you posted.
Love you,
Mom

Hi Mijo:
The Dodgers won the game against the Diamondbacks. Since then I visited Jack, Linda and Miles during Easter. 

Both Jack and I visited your gravesite on Holy Saturday. On Sunday, Jack and I attended Mass together. It felt wonderful having him next to me. Visiting with them during Easter was a nice visit.

I am applying for a job as a nurse case manager. Hopefully I will be hired. I need to take a computer class to do my job. I will get back to you on my job hunting.

Mijo, I miss you very much. Visiting you was both difficult for Jack and me. Jack misses you very much.
Love you, Mom

Well Mijo, I did it again. I made an entry and click it away.         today, Chuco, Daniel and I are going to a Dodger
vs The Diamondbacks. Chuco and Daniel are fun to be with at the game. They tease each other on how well their team is doing against the other. Chuco loves the Dodgers and Daniel the Diamondbacks. Me, I still love my Yankees!! I will keep you posted on the results of the game. Both are sober, therefore I do not get antsy over them misbehaving like so many drunks do. I laugh at their teasing of one another. I enjoy them.

Please keep warch over your brothers, Lind and Miles. Help their guardian angels keep them at peace and safe from harm. love you and miss you, Mom

Hi Mijo: How are you? Are you happy and safe? I am hopeful that you are.
Yesterday, was your second year that you are not with us. I miss you and so do your brothers, Jack and Scott. Its hard not having you around. Each morning I kiss your face and wish you were around.

Many things are happening, some good a lot bad. Most of it caused by Trump's administration. Our country's democracy and Constitution is at risk.

Jack is doing better; Linda still working and Miles is doing great. Scott, I a not sure. Days he does well, other days not so well. 

Chuco is very unhappy over the delay of Chris's murderer being sentenced.
At times, I feel things are unstable making me very nervous. Please pray for us and watch over your brothers, especially Scott.

Love you and miss you,
Mom

Hi Mijo: I entered a message for you and again clicked it by mistake and erased it. I am sorry this happened. I am not certain how many times I have made this mistake.

The message I entered gave you status update on Jack and Scott. Both are doing better.

I also mention my fear of going to war with an Middle East country due to the stupidity of our president and his administration. I fear that Miles and some of my nephews will be asked to volunteer. I pray not.

Each morning I see your beautiful face and smile and wish I could kiss and hold you next to me. I pray for you, your brothers friends and family.

Mijo, don't forget us. Until I see you again. Peace, Mom

I Mijo: Just a note to say hello and wishing you were here. I miss your presence, smile and your advice and input on various problems I might have. You always had good common sense and could see through problems better than I could. 

Thanksgiving, Christmas came and went and there was not a moment that I did not remember you and your brothers. you always helped me the most when it came to decorating, putting up the tree, hanging the Christmas lights and of course taking everything down.

Today, I gave Chuco a letter in support of Christopher, his grandson. The person who murdered him will be sentenced next week. May God have mercy on his soul. Chuco, Mary Helen and Sylvia have had a difficult time mourning him. When you see him give him a hug for Chuco. He misses him very much. Every week, Chuco visits his grave.

As for your brothers, I hope everything is good with them. Jack is recovering from his surgery and Scott is living at Alie's. I have not heard from him. On the 16th he will turn 42 years old. I wish him the very best.  it has been difficult for him these last two years. Please watch over your brothers, they need your presence, wishes and prayers.

Love you and miss you, Mom.

Hi Mijo: Happy New Year: Its been a difficult time for me. I miss my sons, talking and holding you and your brothers. I feel fragmented with no foundation. The entry I made on Christmas Day was not recorded. I will make it again later this week. For now, I will make this short entry.

Jack had surgery, Repair of Rotator Cuff Tear. He is doing his best to be patient in his healing progress. Scott is living at Ali's. I worry over him. As for me, I am doing my best to heal and accept your death. I see you every place I go. Mijo, I miss you very much. Pray for us and watch over your brothers. Peace, Mom

I hope the entry I made Christmas Day is recorded. Again, love and missed you on Christmas Eve and Day.

Love, Mom

Hi Mijo: Sine my last entry many things have happened to Scott and problems w/ his head injury. Please watch over him. In your prayers ask 
god to give him guidance. I worry over him and ask god to care for him.

This week I am going to make tamales and mail them to Miles, Blackie, Pita, Jack and Scott. I hope they are good. I miss you and I will eat one tamale in your memory.

Mijo, I love and miss you very much. Peace, Mom

Hi Mijo, Happy Thanksgiving. Yesterday I did not make an entry on Thanksgiving Day, I was ill with a stomach flu virus. Today I feel much better, not eating as I should but hopeful my appetite will improve. 

Nellie held family Thanksgiving at her home, everyone was there except for Rosa and her family. I baked 8 pumpkin pies, I must confess they were not my best pies I have made.

I missed you, Jack, Scott, Linda and Miles. Hopefully, next year we will all be together, for now memories are all I have. Love you and miss you, Mom.

Good morning: Today I am going to the Phoenix Convention Center to hear The
First Lady Michele Obama speak in support of Hillary Clinton for President. I will let you know.
love you

Hi Mijo:
Haoppy Birthday. I miss and love you. It is 11:15 am in Phoenix. This is exactly the hour that you were born 46 years ago.
You were my easiest birth. It only took 4 hours of labor to give you birth. You were easy to raise, love and enjoyable to have as my son. I thank God for you being my son. 

Kookie is dying. Please take care of him when he does.

Love you and miss you. Hugs and kisses, Happy Birthday, Mom

Hi Mijo: How are you? I am happy that I no longer worry about you. I now worry about Scott. He is in trouble. I must pray for him and return to LA as soon as possible. Please look out for him and take care of him. I will do the same and pray for him. Only God can help him at this time. I am not there to do so.

Love you and pray for your brother. Mom

Hi Mijo: 
Long time no contact since my last entry. My Internet was reinstated today. I will do everything I can to keep it connected. Money has been tight during these last few months. 

In November Miles is moving to Boston. I hope to see him before he leaves SF.
Jack is fine with Miles decision to change jobs and move 2,000 miles away from all of us. I am hopeful that he is happy and safe and does not get married before graduating from law school.

Scott is living with a group of people who are homeless. I worry about him, his health and safety. I send him $35 at the beginning of each month in care of Jack. Jack and I discussed Scott's choices and I recommended to him that we accept his choices and not judge him. I wish I lived in California, in a house where Scott can live and stay with me.

I miss you very much and remember your love, kindness and caring. my love to you, Mom

Hi Mijo: What an election year! Hilary Clinton is the First female Democratic nominee and Donald Trump is the Republican nominee. I am certain that you would have an opinion. As you know I always supported Hilary and considered her intelligent and caring. Once I complete PT I want to volunteer on her campaign. I am hoping she wins. I have not volunteered on a political campaign since Bobby Kennedy in 1968. 

Mijo, I miss you and love you very much. Jack and I have discussion on our memories.  He misses you as much I do.  You and Jack were like twins and behaved as twins. I have many of those memories and enjoy discussing them with Jack. 

Scott & I have conversations on your antics, music appreciation dog care and food likes and dislikes. Scott and I miss your baked BBQ chicken with scalloped potatoes. I wish you were to prepare that meal for Junja and me. see you soon. I will pray for you. Please watch over your brothers and other family members, especially Chuco who is taking pulmonary diagnostic tests. I pray they are normal and nothing serious or bad happens to him.

Bye Mijo, love and miss you very much Mom.

Mijo, I miss you. I will make an entry tomorrow. I am sorry that I cannot concentrate on a message to you.

Peace and love you, Mom

Hi Mijo: I miss you and wish I could touch and hold you. I attend physical therapy 3x/week and it is helping. My elbow range of motion has improved considerably and my pain has decreased also. 

I am worried. I have not heard from Scott. Jack has not heard from him nor seen him in almost a month. Please watch over him. All I can do is have faith that God will protect him.

See you soon and please take care of yourself, in case you run into a family member or friend say hello to them.

love you and miss you,
Mom

Hi Mijo: How are you? I am doing better today then last week. I had a terrible cold and stomach flu. I missed two days of PT. It affected my elbow flexion and extension. I was able to make up range of motion lost. I am hopeful that I can return to work in January 2017.

I am worried. Scott has not called me or Jack. Daily I pray for him and leave him in God's Hands and pray that God take care of him. please watch over him and protect him as you once did when you were young.

Mijo, I love and miss you very much. Kookie is still alive, he refuses to die.

Please pray and look after us. I keep an eye out for Misty and think about you, Misty and the baby. I wish I had givenyou more guidance and communicated of the options available to both you, Misty and the Baby. Another area in your life where I have failed you. I am going to find her.
I guess this is all for now. Please, pray for your brothers/family keeping everyone safe and healthy. If you can pull some strings and help me find Misty and the Baby. I want to be at piece in this area and if I can help raise her I would be a happy grandmother. I know you would smile that beautiful smile of yours that everyone noticed you had. Love you, Mom

Hi mIjo, how are you? At peace, happy, safe, pain free? Sylvia, my niece has written to you several times. Like me she is in pain. She misses her son, Christopher. Remember him? Chuco and Mary Helen brought their grandchildren,Cesar, Chris, Bennie and Cierra to visit us in LA? We had barbecues, when to Santa Monica Beach, Disneyland and spent two nights at the Disneyland Hotel. They had a great time and really enjoyed themselves. When you see Chris give him a bear hug like the one you did when he was in LA. 

Chuco misses him too. Every Sunday he visits his grave. He prays at the site for him. Chuco misses him but is happy that Chris is at peace and no longer in pain or in danger. He feels for Chris what I feel for you.  Eric I live with the guilt of not travelling to California and being there for you at your time of need. I know you are with GOD. Whose better care can you be with than HIS. It helps knowing this, yet I miss you dearly every single day and pray for you, Chris and all other members of our family and friends.

I love and miss you, Mom

RIP Cousin love Sylvia Martinez tell your cousin my son Christopher G Palacios I love and miss him

Hi Mijo:
I had surgery and I am recovering nicely. it feels good to exercise my arm, elbow and shoulder. its going to take months of physical therapy to achieve normal range of motion. My surgical scar is 10 inches long with 22 steel staples holding it together. As my condition improves I will keep you posted. Thank you for watching over me during surgery. I felt safe and at peace during and after surgery.I felt yours and Gods presence near me. 

It's hot in Phoenix. The temperatures are in the hundreds. Kookie was doing ok. Every two hours I watered them  with a water hose trying to keep both cool. Yesterday, I failed. I was going to water them down when I found Kookie on the ground convulsing. I picked him up and placed him on the cement and watered him continuously, his body, head. His head was laying on the side. His tongue began lapping the water. I watered him until he stopped lapping water. I then placed him on a blanket and brought him into the house and put him in my room. He has not woken up but continues to breathe. Once he wakes up, I will give him water. I do not think he is going to make it. Knowing that he will be with you, St. Francis, Brandy & Zeppellin makes me happy. I will keep you posted. We love and miss you very much.
Mom

Hi Mijo. Tomorrow Thursday, June 9, 2016 I am having surgery. I hope everything goes well. Please watch over me and pray for me.

lovr you 

mom

Hi Mijo: How are you? Jack, Linda, Essie, Miles and me returned from Hawaii on May 17, 2016. It was paradise; the weather and food perfect and delicious. We had a few spats but everyone was talking to each other when we arrived in LA. 

  Miles was a super host. Jack and Linda co-hosted the trip with Miles.
We stayed in an ocean front 2 bedroom suite. Essie & I shared a bedroom, Jack & Linda the other bedroom, Miles the living room couch.

   My only disappointment was not staying longer. Everyone agreed 2 additional days would have been a perfect lengthy stay. I thought of you every single day.  I believe you would have enjoyed swimming in the ocean with Jack. I am certain he missed you and wished you were there to be with all of us.

  I want to return to Hawaii with the same people and lay a lai in the ocean for you. Maybe next time Scott can join us. I love and miss you very much.
Mom

Hi Mijo: today I am leaving to Burbank, tomorrow to Hawaii with Jack, Linda, Miles and Essie.  Remember when we visited Hawaii with Scott's football team. Being there will bring many memories of you and Scott.  The best memory I have of you being there is when you dove into the lake.  You had the guts to follow through with action and desire everyone had, diving into the lake.  That I like about you, you did what you wanted to regardless of what other people thought.

I have to run. Please watch over your bother Scott.  I worry about him and Jack, Linda and Miles.  Love you and miss you, Mom

Hi Mijo: Tomorrow is Mothers' Day.  This week has been difficult for me.  It will be 1st year anniversary of your death. What a sad and difficult year it has been for us: Jack, Scott, Linda, Miles and myself. Eric I miss you very much, even though I know you are in a better and safe place, I wish you were here on earth with me.  I am being selfish and I know it. Every time I pray I ask God to take care of you, that you are happy, smiling and petting your dogs, Brandy and Zepelin. Kookie is alive. He refuses to die. He eats twice a day and sleeps what's left over of the day. Sami remains the most beautiful and wonderful dog and wags her tail when she sees me.

On Wednesday I am flying to LA.  The following day Jack, Linda, Essie and I are meeting Miles and flying to Maui together.  We will be there 5 nights and 6 days. All expenses paid by Miles. We are looking forward to this vacation. I will remember you on our trip with Scott to Hawaii. I am excited and looking forward to it. Scott will come to Phoenix and help Junja take care of the dogs.

Mijo, I miss you today and all our tomorrows to come.  I will do my best to release you to God, so that you can be at peace.  I will continue to pray for your soul and other members of our family.  If you see any of them, give them a big hug and smile that beautiful smile you have.  Peace be with you, Mom.

Hi Mijo: Today is Jack's birthday.  I am certain he thought of you. He misses you very much.  I sent him 2 Pete's Fish and Chips T-shirts, one red and one white. I hope they fit.  He has gained weight even though he works every day as a carpenter.  I am certain he and Linda went to dinner. I spoke with Scott today, my prodigal son called to let me know that everything is ok.  I do not know where he gets his independence.  As long as he is save and does nothing to hurt others I am ok with his life style.

I pray for you, your brothers and Linda and Miles.  I ask God to take care and safeguard all of you from harm. Mijo please take care of yourself and pray for us and your father.  I hear he is lonely and lives alone in his big house.  He and Scott are not getting along at this moment. 

Love and miss you very much, Mom.

Hi Mijo:  Happy Easter.  I missed you during this holiday.  I was at Nellie's with my family and their children.  It reminded me of you, Jack and Scott celebrating Easter, running around chasing each other, hiding and finding Easter eggs and filling your basket with candies, gift cards and other goodies. I know that Jack and Scott missed you also, and Miles, Essie and Loladi thought about you.

I did not have my surgery.  I had an infection and postponed to May 24, 2016. I can wait. Miles invited Jack, Linda, Essie and me to Hawaii, all expanses paid for Essie and me by them.  I am looking forward to it. I will keep you posted.

I now have the Internet and will be writing to you from home.  I will also be applying for employment in Arizona and California.  I miss my family in California but I have friends and family in Arizona.  I am not alone in Arizona whereas in California I will be.  I will wait and see what the future brings post-operative.

I love you and miss you, please take care of your brothers, they need your prayers.  Mom

hi Mijo: tomorrow I am having surgery on my left elbow. I am looking forward to it. My ride is here, I will write you when I return.  love you very much. Mom

Dear Eric, I am reading a letter from your Mom. She is wonderful, which you already know. She worries that people will forget you, but I believe there is no chance of that. We hold you in prayer at the end of this first year of your earthly absence, and we know that you are doing the work you were called for now. In this year of mercy and always, we pray God's mercy on your soul. You are loved!

hi Mijo, how are you? I miss you very much. Kookie is alive and well as can be.Sami is doing good. They are both good dogs. Junja  tripped and fell and fractured her right shoulder. She and I are doing ok. Scott is working and so is Jack. Linda is still her school as a teacher assistant. She says she does most of the teaching to the students.

I am scheduled for surgery Thursday, February 11th. Daniel will be caring for me 4 days. I am looking forward to surgery but not the pain I will experience afterwards. I want to move back to LA but I am not certain I will be able to afford to unless I find employment.

Well Mijo, this is all for now. Please pray for us, especially for your brothers. Look over them and protect them in any way you can. I love and miss you very much. Mom

Hi Mijo, how are you? Lots of things have happened since I last spoken with you. Miles changed jobs. He no longer works with Google. He works for Twitter. He sent a message yesterday letting me know. Scott continues to live the life of Jerimah Johnson which worries me. His birthday is today. He is 41 years old today. Jack is fine. He continues to work as a carpenter. Linda is fine and works as a teacher assistant. 

I will have surgery next month. I am looking forward to it. I plan to return to LA by August or September of this year.

Mijo, I love and miss you very much. I will check with you soon. I plan to get the internet install @ Junja's this month, this will allow me to contact you easier. It will no longer be necessary to carry my computer to Nellie's and bother them.

love you, Mom

Eric I think I lost your message.  I will check tomorrow. Mom

Merry Christmas. I miss you and love you, We all do. I ate some tamales for you. Next year hopefully I will be living in LA. I am still in Phoenix and scheduled for surgery in February. Afterwards, I will participate in 4 months of physical therapy. I also miss your brothers, Jack and Scott.  They miss you too. Jack put your pictures out for Thanksgiving and I became sad and cried. Scott told me later that he also had a melt down while at work remembering you. It has not been easy not having you around. Hopefully it will get easier next year. I will see you someday. In the meantime please take care of your family, pray for us. Love you and peace to you, your Mom who misses you very much. Mom

Hi Eric,

It's been awhile since I have written anything in your guest book. Christmas is this week and my family and I will be lighting a candle for you. I think about you often and miss you too.

Hi Mijo, sorry I have not written to you.  Too many things happening. I will try and write you on Sunday.  I will be making tamales that day.  On December 20th my injury will be one year anniversary. I am scheduled for surgery February 4th.  I am looking forward to it. I want to return to LA and work.  I love you and miss you very much. Thanksgiving was difficult and sad. Christmas will be just as sad.
Love you and see you soon. Mom

During this month of November, we lit a candle for you at OLG and entered your name in the book for All Souls.

Eric: I am one of your dear mother's friends. While I never knew you, I know your Mom and her heart. I know how much you are loved. I just received her thank you letter, and she is bereft and missing you and remembering you. She knows that you are looking over her and are thankful for her. We all pray that the peace of our lord be with you and that you are walking by his side. Know that you are loved.

Eric I know we weren't very close growing up but the times when you boys would come down from LA I remember quite well. Then we were in that awful 15th birthday celebration together,those were good times.it's hard to believe that you are gone I'm just so sorry we couldn't stay in touch somehow. Don't think I never thought about you because I did, you, Jack and Scott. I'm sure your up there chillin with the best of them

Hi Eric,
Just  a warm greeting from one of your dear sweet mother's student,  Yvonne and her significant other Audrey who attended your beautiful memorial service.
I wish I had the opportunity to meet you but by the letters your mother wrote to me about the type of person you were, I felt like I've known you all my life.
I know you are watching, guiding and protecting your  sweet mother.
You are at a BETTER place but will be MISSED.
God Bless you.....

     Hi Mijo: I have not spoken to you since your birthday. I remember you daily and miss you very much. Last few days I have been working on a Thank You Letter and notes to be sent to all our family and friends. Halloween is coming and I will miss you passing out the candies. I have not made a decision if I am attending Rosa's Halloween Party.  If I do, I must dress up. I thought of dressing up as a Soladrita- a guerrista from the Mexican Revolution. I will buy your favorite candies and eat them in your memory. 

    Miles returned this week from Israel. I have not spoken with him to find out how it was. There were daily uprisings and gun fires and deaths. he is home safe. I prayed to you and asked you to watch over him and to protect him from harm-Thank you.  

    Kookie is struggling but he does not want to give up.  See you soon. Take care of Scott and Jack. They both miss you very much.  Love you, miss you, hugs and kisses, Mom

Hi Mijo: I sent you two messages for your birthday.  I believe you received one of them. The second one may not have gone through, it was a candle to light up for your birthday. I could not enter 45 candles. Hopefully, you will receive this message along with a candle.  Miss you and love you very much. Mom

Hi Mijo: Happy Birthday. May God embrace you and keep you safe. We miss you and send you a hug and a kiss. I love and miss you every day and pray for you daily.  Take care of yourself and your brothers at times have a difficult time and become melancholy in remembering you. Jack carries your picture with him in his car. You are always with him wherever he travels.  Que Dios te quide y que te bendega. Mom

hi Mijo:
Several topics I have to discuss with you. First above all, I miss you. I see your face everywhere I go. Los Angeles is difficult for me.  There are too many places that remind me of you.  Second, I am no longer working.  My nursing license was not secure at the clinic I was at and quit.  I resigned.  I had a meeting with the CEO and he offered my job back if I want it.  Thirdly, and this is a favor I am asking of you, Maxi is lost.  If you know his whereabouts please bring him back to us.  I will arrive in Phoenix tomorrow Monday, August 24th.  He is such a pain in the neck but I was becoming used to him.  He fought with Kookie all the time and it pissed me off.  But Maxi had these big brown eyes and he loved me.  He was my foster child-out of control but wanted to be loved.  Please Mijo, bring him back to us.  

Scott is working full time and enjoying his job.  I found out that he may be involved with someone at work. Supposedly, she is older than him.  If he was 20 years old I would be worried but since he is 40 years old, he should know what he is doing.

Jack, Linda and Miles are fine.  Jack misses you a lot and carries your picture in his car with him. Your birthday is coming up and so is Christmas and New Years. We are going to miss your presence and I will most likely be very sad. Mijo, I do not know how I have gotten through this pain in missing you but I know it was for a reason.  I told Jack that God took you because your had reached your peak in being a good person and example. He agreed. Pray for us, keep watch over us and we will do the same for you.

Love you and miss you, Mom

Hi Mjo: Its been difficult for me since the week before Mother's Day. I went into a deep depression. Pita intervened and got the Crisis Team from Terros to do an evaluation. I followed up with their recommendation and scheduled a medical consult who prescribed medication for me. I am taking it and I feel and sleeping better.
I miss your presence and hold dear to my heart memories of your caring for me mornings when you would bring me coffee. that action came from the goodness of your heart. I truly believe that God took you because you had completed, fulfilled and shared your goodness with others here on earth.
I miss you and love you very much and so do your brothers. Please watch over them and take care of them. Mom

Hi Mjo: Its been difficult for me since the week before Mother's Day. I went into a deep depression. Pita intervened and got the Crisis Team from Terros to do an evaluation. I followed up with their recommendation and scheduled a medical consult. The doctor prescribed medication for me. I am taking it and I feel and sleeping better.

I miss your presence and hold dear to my heart memories of your caring for me mornings when you brought me coffee. That action came from the goodness of your heart. I truly believe that God took you because you had completed, fulfilled and shared your goodness with others here on earth.

I miss you and love you very much and so do your brothers. Please watch over them and take care of them. Mom

Eric, I wrote an entry. I am not certain if it registered. I will check tomorrow if it was included. If not, I will resubmit it. For now, I miss and love you very much. Mom

Hello Mijo: Last Sunday, May 10 was Mothers' Day. I could not bring myself and write you a note.  Its been difficult for me. That day I escaped to my room and did not celebrate.  Scott, Jack and Miles called me and I spoke with them. Throughout  the week I was sad and lonely. Today one week later I cried because I realized that where ever I was I could call you and you would be there to answer the phone. On Mothers Day I could not call you but I should have written you a message knowing  that you would receive it. Instead, knowing that you are in Heaven I prayed the rosary and attended a TV Mass and asked God to take care of you.

My arm cast was removed and I have started physical therapy.  I am also looking for a job in LA via telephone and e-mail.

I miss your smile and you wishing me a good morning and saying goodnight.
Good night Mijo. see you next week. I love and miss you, Mom
Eric, many times I want to cover myself with the blankets and not get out of bed. I know you would not want me to mourn you this way and give up living. Many people tell me its going to take a minimum of a year because it is necessary to experience holidays and birthdays without you being present. I also know that you seeing me unhappy would make you sad. So I am making a promise to you that I will do my best to make each day a good day and love you and your brothers very much.

Hello Mijo: Last Sunday, May 10 was Mothers' Day. I could not bring myself and write you a note.  Its been difficult for me. That day I escaped to my room and did not celebrate.  Scott, Jack and Miles called me and I spoke with them. Throughout  the week I was sad and lonely. Today one week later I cried because I realized that where ever I was I could call you and you would be there to answer the phone. On Mothers Day I could not call you but I should have written you a message knowing  that you would receive it. Instead, knowing that you are in Heaven I prayed the rosary and attended a TV Mass and asked God to take care of you.

My arm cast was removed and I have started physical therapy.  I am also looking for a job in LA via telephone and e-mail.

Eric, many times I want to cover myself with the blankets and not get out of bed. I know you would not want me to mourn you this way and give up living. Many people tell me its going to take a minimum of a year because it is necessary to experience holidays and birthdays without you being present. I also know that you seeing me unhappy would make you sad. So I am making a promise to you that I will do my best to make each day a good day and love you and your brothers very much.

I love and miss you very much. Mom

Good morning Mijo: Its 4:30am and each morning at this time I turn on the ETWN Catholic TV station and pray the rosary with them and watch a televised Mass. I do this in your memory and pray for Jack, Scott, Linda and Miles. I also pray for Chuco, his family and my cousins and their families and ask God to watch over them.

I have your last voicemail, your last phone call to me. I will save it and most likely cry when I hear your voice as I did when I heard it last week by accident. I reviewed the entries I made earlier in your memory and struck by the ones where I wish I could hear your voice. My wishes and prayers were answered. I have your voicemail and will listen to it as desired.

Good news, KOOKIE has a daughter, whom I am told looks and is built like him. I will try to get them together and take their picture. She belongs to Lisa, who is Tony's daughter. I have to work on this asap. KOOKIE is not doing well. He is limping. His left front leg is swollen. I am treating his pain and swelling with aspirin. Every morning KOOKIE and I have "quality time" together. I have coffee and share my cookies with him. Sami and Maxi are tied up while I spend this time with him, otherwise they will overtake him and eat his portion. I will keep you posted on his health. Till next time, I love you and miss you. Mom

Hi Mijo: I miss you. This week was difficult and painful. I was reviewing my voicemails and your last message to me was on it. I am saving it so that I can hear and listen to your voice. I did not send a message on Friday, April 24, 2015 because that was one of my bad days. I spent most of it being sad plus I wanted to share with you a good day of events  that I would participate in on Saturday, April 25th.  I attended a First Communion/Confirmation and a party to celebrate Gordo's Graduation with  Master's Degree and Natalie's graduation with a BS in Nursing.It's always good to attend Catholic religious ceremonies and graduations.

Eric, I look at your photos and remember your sweetness,your smile and how you took care of me. I miss your kindness and attention that you gave to me. I knew that we were close but I was not aware of our devotion to one another. Jack describe me as "devoted to you and that I took good care of you". I guess that is what I miss the most is your presence and taking care of you. You gave me a reason for living. I feel lost without you. I know you want me to keep on living and to look forward to each day as I did when you were alive. I do my best each day to reach that goal. I also do my best to maintain contact with Jack and Scott. I do not want them to feel or believe that they are not as important as you were to me. The thing is they do not need me as you did. I love them and do my best to let them know that I need them today as I did when you were alive. Both Jack and Scott call me weekly to check on my progress. They know how I am doing just by hearing my tone of voice.  

On  Thursday,while I spoke with Chuco, I was crying. I told him that I found your voicemail and hearing your voice made me cry because I miss you so much. He responded with very comforting words and stated that even though I could not see you, you were in my presence, sitting next to me, taking care of me. Hearing those comforting words made me feel better and believing that you were next to me taking care of me. 

Mother's Day is coming and I am going to miss you, Jack, Scott, Linda and Miles. I have a feeling that we will not be celebrating it together. During Mass I will remember my family and appreciate all of you and be thankful that you are all part of my life. On Mother's Day I will be dedicating a Mass and rosary in your memory and in our family's name. I love and miss you very much. Mom

Eric, the first thing I ever noticed about you was your smile.  In my mind's eye,  I can still see you light up with that great smile.  your sweetness and great love for animals will always be engraved in my memory.  Thank you for always asking about Brian, David and Kevin and, especially always remembering Brian and wishing him well and that God keep him out of harms way when he was deployed.  You are missed greatly and your Dad is always thinking and talking about you.  He misses you so.  We were all very fortunate to have you in our lives.  You will alwyas be with us. 
Love You Always,  Yvonne Mariajimenez-Rutkowski

Hi Mijo: Today is Friday, April 17, 2015. I miss you, wish I could see you, hold you and cook your favorite meal. I am still in Phoenix living at Junja's. The dogs Kookie, Sami and Maxi are doing ok. I worry about Kookie, he is getting older and slower. Every morning I look for him fearing the worst that he died during the night. I know that if he died he would be with you, Zepelin and Brandy. That would not be too bad for him and you. I know you would welcome him with open arms.
Next week Thursday, April 23 is Jack's birthday.  He will turn 46 years old. I am sending him Snoopy card stating "we don't get older, we just mellow out. That's Jack!! Old Fernandin the Bull, loves to sit back, smell the flowers and take his time to think things over.
Mijo, Gordo is graduating with a Masters Degree. he will be the 2nd in our family to receive one. Leslie, Chuco's granddaughter was the 1st to receive one from our whole family.
What's it like in Heaven? Have you seen or met with your grandparents, great grandparents, cousins and uncles?If you have say hi and give them a hug for me and don't forget to hug and pet Zep and Brandy for us. I love you, miss you and wish I could touch, hold and kiss you. Until next week, I will talk to you then. Peace and tranquility, Mom

Hi Mijo: Today is Friday, April 10, 2015. We always called each other on Fridays. Its too painful to let the day go by without speaking to you and/or not acknowledging your presence. I miss talking with you, hearing your voice and letting me that you are OK. I Know you are at peace, simply because that is how you chose to live your life. I am trying to live my life in the same manner and find it difficult to do so. I guess peace comes from within a person and one has to make a choice to let things slide off without reacting negatively to them. I will do my best to follow your example and live a more peaceful life as you did. Your peacefulness was definitely a good example for me and your brothers. Jack was correct when he describe you as a beautiful person. Your brothers and I miss you and talk about us knowing that you are no longer in pain and in danger of being alone, ending up in the streets alone and afraid. None of us would ever allow that to happen but many times I was fearful that it could happen if I died before you did. Both Jack and Scott reassured me over and again that would never happen simply because they would prevent it from happening and also because you had good common sense and used good judgment in your self-care. I always felt an urgency to work so that you would have a good meal, a place to live, be safe and secure. Without this sense of urgency I feel lost without you. I miss you and love you very much. I am happy you are safe, secure and at peace. I just wanted to say hello and let you know that I miss you and happy knowing that you are fine, at peace and OK. MOM

Eric, I can't put into words how much you are missed. I have so many memories of you, one that stands out is you playing the drums. You were amazing at it too! You were and still are our big brother. Dorothy and I will always keep you close to our hearts. Please watch over your mom,dad,brothers,miles and your sisters ( Dorothy & Lolade (: We love you

May you rest in peace Eric from Edwardo Martinez and family.

Hi Mijo: Happy Easter. Jack and I had a long conversation today about you and the many good things you did. I told him that you liked Pope John Paul II, Mother Teresa and Pope Francis. you described them as the only ones that you knew of that made any sense--they were Christ like-- giving and caring for the poor. I told him that Pope Francis on Holy Thursday washed and kissed the feet of 12 prisoners. You were right to describe Pope Francis as good and compassionate person. Witnessing him being humble made me think of you and your humbleness in helping others. Yesterday, in your memory I gave a homeless man a REESE's Peanut Butter Cup and wished him a Happy Easter. He smiled, thanked me and wished me one too. I thought too myself, Eric would like that. I told Jack that next Easter I am going to choose a homeless shelter and make/donate Easter Baskets in your memory. Jack thought that was a good idea.  Bye Mijo, talk to you later, Mom

Love you always :) Thanks for being a huge part of my life.

Eric you were a friend of mine since I was a baby.  It's hard to believe you're gone.  We spent a lot of time together and I am who I am partially because of you.  I'll never forget the times we spent after we went on the ski trip with your mom.  It was nice to re-connect after so many years and perhaps somewhere else, we will again.  Rest in Peace old friend.

Hi Mijo: Today is Holy Saturday, April 4th, tomorrow Easter Sunday, a holiday you enjoyed very much. On Wednesday, April 1st I had a phone conversation with Jack. We shared memories of you and past Easters' and I remembered that you love SEE's Chocolates and REESE'S Peanut Butter Cups. He suggested that I purchase both of them, eat and enjoy them remembering you. So today, I am going to purchase those candies and eat them tomorrow remembering you, wishing that you were here eating them with me. Happy Easter. I miss and love you very much.  Mom

We pray that your soul be at peace. That the Lord's perpetual light shine upon you as you enter the gates of heaven.  We all know that you are missed beyond measure by your parents and brothers. May God comfort them in their mourning. You were a quiet soul and a hard worker. Your love for animals and a peaceful smoke was something that you wore effortlessly. We will remember you fondly. Thank you for being a part of our lives for the short time we were neighbors. It gave us comfort knowing you were there if we ever needed you. Rest in peace and joy.

You have left an empty void for us who are left behind for now. The courage  and loyalty you showed to loved ones will be hard to be without.

We didnt exchange many words in the years I knew you, you saved your words for the subjects you were passionate about... but when those subjects came around Eric, you would light up and anyone listening couldnt help but feel that same electricity :) Our last conversation was about music, it was a beautful reminder for me never to stop sharing the things we love, the things that put that light behind our eyes, i was having a rough one and you brightened my day right up Eric! I dont think anyone else will say this so I will, while youre up there with the angels.... Rock on!!!

Hi Mijo; Today is 30 days since your death.  Every day I miss you and wish I could hear your voice and hold a conversation with you. Instead I pray and cry. I call your brothers- Jack and Scott and they are very supportive of me. We remember the good times and your love for the dogs. Your brothers are patient with me and we will remember a memory of you that will makes us laugh.

Today is Holy Thursday, the beginning of The Tridumm. Its 3 Holy Days beginning with today-Holy Thursday the Last Supper, the Agony in the Garden; Good Friday-the Passion and Crucifixion of Christ and Holy Saturday/Easter Sunday-The Resurrection of Christ.  Easter was one of your favorite holidays.

Every year I filled your Easter Basket, which is now 44 years old with a 1 lb of SEE's Chocolates and Reese's Peanut Butter Candies along with other goodies and gift certificates. I love you and miss you very much. Happy Easter.  Mom

O Loving Father and Savior, please accompany your servant Eric Michael Rutkowski from this earth to the place of heavenly peace and eternal life. Forgive any sins that have been committed and welcome this departed soul with the warm embrace of your unending love. Amen

OBITUARY

Eric Michael Rutkowski

October 12, 1970 – March 2, 2015

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