Dr. James Ray Kirby

Dr. James Ray Kirby ( J. Ray) was born in Pikeville, NC on October 22, 1933 to Mary Denning and Major Jesse Kirby. He went to the Lord on August 28, 2022 at the age of 88 succumbing to the effects of Alzheimer’s Dementia. He was preceded in death by his mother and father, his brother, Dwight, and his sister, Sara. He is survived by his wife of over 60 years, Martha Carter Kirby; sister, Marie Quinn; children Mark (Michelle), Alex (Mary), and Paul (Dina); and grandchildren Matthew, John (Emily), Nicholas, Mason, Claire, Charles, Lauren and Anna.

Growing up as a farm boy, he often recalled carrying homemade biscuits in his pockets as he arose early each day to work on the farm before school. (Perhaps this is why he was known to have a passion for good bread with butter at every meal and was not a fan of the olive oil fad!) He was the first in his family to go to college and he chose to attend East Carolina College (now East Carolina University). At ECU, he studied chemistry and mathematics. While there, he was president of the Science Club, vice president of the Mathematics Club, and a member of Chi Beta Phi, the distinguished national honorary science fraternity. Under the tutelage of his favorite mentor, Professor Derrick at ECU, he applied and was accepted in the PhD. Chemistry Program at Duke University. While attending Duke, J. Ray met the love of his life, Martha Carter who was working at Duke in the summer of 1958. These years at Duke helped form his lifelong passion for Duke sports – especially football and men’s basketball. Until recent years due to declining mobility, J. Ray had not missed a Duke vs UNC football game in over 52 years – neither home nor away! He graduated in 1960 from Duke and was a founding member of the Lifetime Iron Duke Club. Upon graduating from Duke, one of his first purchases was a 1960 Corvette from the showroom window in Warsaw, NC. Despite his willingness (and questionable logic!) to let each son drive this car to and from high school often, the car still runs and continues to be a family treasure today. J. Ray eventually convinced Martha that he was the “best man for the job” and she finally relented.

They settled in Durham, NC and were married for over 60 years. He was very active in the local community – including Epworth United Methodist Church, where in addition to assisting with the church’s early building expansion, he was also very active in the Boy Scouts. He was most proud of his 3 sons all achieving the rank of Eagle Scout during this time. J. Ray was very active and supportive of his 3 sons as they participated in youth sports from Southwest Athletics up through Jordan High School. He also taught night classes for a while at University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and suggested this was “missionary work” as being a Duke Blue Devil fan. Some of J. Ray’s other passions included golf and bowling. He remained an active bowling participant with his team, “Bad News”, for over 40 years. And he so enjoyed playing golf at his favorite course, Hillandale Golf Course in Durham, with his buddies where he was a Board Member for decades. We are certain he has already achieved his 3rd hole-in-one up in heaven with that cherished 4-iron of his!

He was fortunate to have two career stints – both in Research Triangle Park. The first was with, Chemstrand (later became Monsanto) which was the very first business built in RTP. He worked there for over 20 years on fire retardant clothing for children. He faced a tough decision in the early eighties when Monsanto announced they were shutting the site down. He was offered his choice of several relocation assignments but made the hard decision to keep his family grounded in Durham. Fortunately, he was able to transition to a job at IBM in RTP, which focused on the new world of “recycling”. This position involved the recycling of plastics and components of IBM computers and required a lot of international travel, which Martha (and his sons at times) were so fortunate to “tag along”. Even prior to the international travels thru IBM, J. Ray instilled in each of his sons the importance of travel and family time. These incredible family escapades created memories that are still cherished today.

He was a well-organized and prepared man throughout his life – never too far from a 3” x 5” index card to make note of his next quip, quote or idea. He never procrastinated – evident by the document he wrote that the family recently found titled “Possible Obituary for JRK” dated 2009. He was a great husband and father that worked extremely hard to provide many opportunities for his family. He was well respected, kind, intelligent, and one of those people that you have only heard people say positive things about. He will be missed dearly – but his spirit lives on in his children and grandchildren.

A celebration of life service will be held on Saturday, October 22, 2022, at Noon at Epworth United Methodist Church in Durham, NC immediately followed by a catered lunch in the Fellowship Hall. The meal will be provided by one of J. Ray’s favorites: Bullocks Barbecue. In lieu of flowers, the family requests memorial contributions be made in his name to one (or All – as he would have quipped!) of his favorite organizations: Epworth United Methodist Church in Durham; Whippoorwill Academy & Village at 11928 NC Hwy 268 W, Ferguson, NC 28624; and, Mariah’s Chapel Preservation Foundation at 3780 Hwy 268, Lenoir, NC 28645.

Fond memories and expressions of sympathy may be shared at www.cottenfuneralhome.com for the Kirby family.