Harriet Seltzer

Honey Seltzer was born in the Bronx on the first day of spring, two facts that never ceased to be important to her. There are other things of equal importance to Honey, and because we can, we’re going to list them all:

Growing up before and during WWII, Honey was proud of having an American family. Her mother, Bella Leifer Shapiro, was born on the Lower East Side and her father, Ben Shapiro grew up there.

She adored her older brother Allen Stevens, “the best big brother anyone could ever wish for.” They had a deep bond. When he was missing in action in Europe during WWII, Honey could sense him telling her that he was alive. She was certain enough to convince her parents, providing a hope that sustained them all until Sonny (as the family called him) did indeed come home. He died while still in his 50’s. To the end of her life, she never stopped thinking about him and missing him.

Honey was star struck. Though she did take a few classes with Stella Adler, she was too insecure and self-conscious to dream of going onstage. Instead, in her youth, she focussed her energy on going to the movies, collecting autographs, and reading fan magazines. When she had an encounter with a celebrity, she would tell that story all her life. If you knew her, you’ve heard them! There was the time she worked in the Brill Building and stepped on Frank Sinatra’s foot in the elevator. In the 50s, she won a trip to Hawaii, her first time travelling alone and to what was still an exotic location. At the hotel, she asked the famously frugal Jack Benny how much she should be tipping there. On that same big adventure, Tony Curtis was filming on the beach. Someone introduced them and offered to take a photo. Honey smiled up at the famously-NY Curtis and said “wait til they see this in the Bronx!” making him exclaim “you’re from da Bronx?!” Much more recently, there was the time Martha Stewart stopped her in a ladies room because she looked familiar; things like that often happened to Honey.

When the family said there was no money for “a girl to go to college,” Honey turned from an early dream of teaching to becoming “the best secretary.” From her first job after High School, in the advertising department of Longines Wittnauer (where it was her idea to put their clock in the original Yankee Stadium), to her final job assisting a major Wall Street player, she did exactly that. In mid-life, she landed her dream job, combining her wizard administrative skills with work in the film industry. She spent many happy years as the EA of agent/film producer John Heyman, where she also played a role in the life of his son (Honey was very proud of David’s achievements)

From film, Honey moved to Wall Street. She was always the first to admit she understood nothing about finance. What she did know, what she called her specialty, was “how to manage difficult men.” She worked for a series of Wall Street Wolves, keeping their lives running smoothly and commanding their respect, until she retired at the age of 80 (yes, you read that right!)

After she retired, she began working on her memoir. She had so many stories to tell! Unfortunately, she’d only gotten through part of it before she lost the focus she needed to write. This is sad, because Honey was a born writer. She wrote best from life. While her language was often unpolished, she had a gift for making emotional connections with her readers. She won a film writing contest, self-published a couple of novels and, when HuffPo was in its infancy, was an invited contributor.

Honey was a fashionista before the term existed. “I love clothes and clothes love me,” she often said. And she was right. She had a great figure for the fashions of her lifetime, and knew how to pick clothes that she could wear rather than clothes that would wear her. She could throw on a pair of GAP jeans and a linen shirt bought off a market in St. Maarten, and look like she’d been shopping on Rodeo Drive. When invited to an event packed with rich and/or famous women, she was always better dressed than 95% of them and received numerous envious stares. She was once stopped on a red carpet and asked for her autograph! It helped that Honey was an Olympic level sales shopper. She learned at her mother’s knee how to find the quality fabrics in the bargain bins at Kleins, Even in the days of clipped labels, she could hunt out the best items at Empire, Daffy’s, Loehmans, and Century 21. At local shops and major department stores, salespeople got to know her and would phone her when big sales were about to begin. For years, she would do a safari through Saks, Bergdorfs, and Barneys on the day after Christmas and the Fifth of July, to get the very best of the “take another 40% of already marked down” designer garments.

Maybe most importantly, Honey always loved children. When little more than a child herself, she was the highest paid babysitter in the neighborhood, and could calm the crankiest baby. As an adult, she fulfilled her dream of being a mother, devoting herself to the role, deeply loving her daughters, Lori Berhon and Dana Levin, and taking great pride in them. Many years later, she was thrilled when Dana and Paul provided her with three beautiful grandchildren: Sarah Levin (whose fiancé Eric Schanzer Honey immediately embraced as well), Caiti Levin, and Adam Levin. While living into her 90s was a mixed blessing for Honey, the one thing she was always grateful for was the years spent with her grandchildren, watching them blossom into bright, funny, caring adults. There was nothing that gave her more joy than they did.

Honey knew that every life is a blend of good and bad. She got through her bad times by fiercely believing that the good would come, and urged everyone else to believe along with her. She relished every good moment: an incredible buy on a Donna Karan gown; seeing Bette Midler in “Hello, Dolly;” driving her daughters through the gates of Vassar College; sitting in Parc Guell in Barcelona and sipping sangria. A picky eater at best, she gloried in the atmosphere of a fine restaurant. When love let her down, she held onto the happy memories. Though she dreamt all her life of going to the Academy Awards, she never made it; but while it hadn’t crossed her mind to want to, this “girl from the Bronx” did see Beijing.

Wherever she is now, so much further from the Bronx than Hawaii or Beijing, she’ll be wanting us to do what she would do. Know that she’s okay there, and let that help us to be okay, too. As our own lives continue to cycle through the good and bad, she’ll be with us. Every time we buy something amazing on sale. Every time we watch the Oscars. Every time we make a pot of her famous chicken soup.

We love you Mom, Mimi, Honey. Always.

In lieu of flowers or sweets, the family suggests that you honor Honey with a small donation to either St Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital https://www.stjude.org/ or Project ALS https://projectals.org/ or, as she will sadly be unable to vote this year, the Harris Walz campaign.