I just came upon this sad news. For the longest time, I lost touch with Tom ever since he first moved to the South. I didn’t know he returned to New York. I was worried about the devastating hurricane Helene and how that might have affected Tom. He was the finest massage therapist I ever had. For a professional musician, Tom was a god-send. I always loved our banter after each massage session. It might be about the horrible smelling Chinese medicine he was concocting or about working with ballet dancers or just about life. I so liked his down-to-earth outlook and his inner calm right next to the bustling Columbus Avenue. I will always remember Tom.

Tom came down here to the North Carolina mountains in 1999 and we built a log cabin together,  which was to be the future home for him and Jane.

Tom turned out to be allergic to the black walnut trees that grow all over the place here.    We worked together for a year but about the time we finished the house,  Tom had to move back to New York.  He sold the new house.

I am shocked and saddened to learn that Tom has passed away.   He was a good guy.  I have missed him for 20 years now and I knew he would be a great neighbor and we would be good friends.    Tom was a very compassionate man,  and compassion is in short supply today.

Tom,   Rest in Peace,  my friend.

Scott Lewis
Marshall NC

Dearest Jane and Ben,  I just heard about my wonderful brother Tom's passing.  My deeply-felt condolences to you both.  
He was so full of life that it doesn't seem possible.  I go back with him at 148 Columbus Ave. for many a year, and I was always impressed that he climbed so effortlessly to the 5th floor (I am on the 4th and wheezing and puffing at that).  I invited him in to do any number of practical  jobs on my crazy place. ..making shelves, breaking down and re-plastering walls, whatever.  But Tom felt his job was to totally re-decorate with great sense at once of practicality, artistic imagination and beauty...but more importantly as an expression of his love for me his neighbor and brother.  Sessions usually included philosophy of life itself.  We also partied together and enjoyed, laughs, ideas, and the Park.  I'll forever miss him, his smile, and his grappling with the meaning of life.  I pray that he now understands--and but is still smiling....God surely put that heavenly thing there.  LOVE...CARMAN

You hired him maybe to fix your wall to install a new kitchen. That was Tom he was there for those who need help. But he didn't just fix it he gave it meaning. It wasn't noticeable to the eye at first. Maybe you never noticed it. He didn't just build walls install kitchen sinks because he had to. No no no he did it because he loved too because he wanted to create to show you what it really means to build something. Being able to assemble the pieces is only 50% of the job you need to be able to pour love and joy, happiness even into it. That's what Tom did. Even if you haven't seen it or felt it that's okay because you'll come to realize it soon. Even though he may be gone all of our memories with him or about him continue and that's what keeps him with us so close to our hearts. 

I love you Dad forever and ever. 

I don't know that I've ever met anyone as simultaneously open-hearted and skeptical as Tom.  His world-weariness coupled with hope and appreciation of beauty - be it a beautiful play in baseball, a piece of art, a landscape, a job well-done - was a wonder to behold.  My mind flashes to both the occasional sadness in his eyes and the quickness of his genuine smile - especially the slightly wicked smile and laugh at and from the inappropriate.  
He offered support in my artistic process early on, when I was just finding my writing feet, a gentle clear vote of confidence that sustains me two decades later.
I remember his frankness mixed with care - of seemingly telling the whole unvarnished truth through a lens of compassion and thoughtfulness.
I remember his physical practicality, well-blended with mental whimsy.
I'm forever grateful for his presence in my time here on the planet - grateful to Jane and Ben for sharing him, grateful to him for sharing them.



Tom was like an older brother to me. We met 30 years in Moscow. He came with New York City ballet company as massage therapist. I was a student and was their translator. This was a difficult period in Tom’s life and he was very intense but also vulnerable, which was what attracted me to him in the first place. On that tour we spent a lot of time together and had long conversations.

In winter he sent me a New Year card. (Tom took special care of making these cards by hand and making sure they had a special meaning, they sometimes arrived by spring or summer.) He slipped a hundred dollar bill into the envelope so skillfully that Soviet customs officials failed to detect it. That lasted me a few months.

The following year he came to visit me in St. Petersburg and stayed with my family. We had great time together and lots of adventures, some funny, some sad.

When I moved to New York in 1995, Tom found an apartment for me next door to where he lived on Columbus Avenue, persuaded the owners to rent it out for me very cheaply and renovated it with love and care not to mention his excellent taste. I so enjoyed being Tom’s neighbor.

After I left New York for Sweden we did not see each other often but we’d meet each time I’d come to the city. I was looking forward to seeing him this coming summer and having him meet my children. He saw my son only once when he was a baby. “Aryan beauty” said Tom in reference to his bright blue eyes and German mother. I loved his sense of humor.

Over the years Tom would go on and on how he did not want to have biological children. When Ben entered his life, it changed everything. I was so happy for Tom that he ultimately found true meaning being a husband and father.

I last saw Tom slightly two years ago. I was surprised that he aged — so used to him being athletic and full of energy. I introduced him to my wife. Never imagined that this would be our last meeting. Such unique an irreplaceable friend he was.

Good bye, Tom

When I first met Tom he wasn’t in the room. He was Jane’s new beau and I was visiting her in her midtown basement apartment. I was in her kitchen transformed by Tom’s skill and craft—every line showed intelligence and beauty. And his love and care for Jane. Sitting surrounded by his work I got to know Tom. Or so I thought.

I was to learn that his artistry is only one small facet of his being. Over the decades I have had the chance to be with him in small packages of time during visits. These times are anchored in my memory by Tom’s interactions with my children. I remember him expanding my toddler son’s vocabulary well beyond “cat” and “apple”. If you know Tom you can guess the words. I can see him teaching my preschool daughter to command a dog bigger than she was on the porch of the house he built in North Carolina. These occasions are precious.

In conversation he entertained and informed and listened and poked. Not a blunt poke which left a bruise, nor injuring with a sharp word, but with the deft use of an acupuncture needle. He could puncture my arrogance to let out any hot air building up, but more often he would pierce the barriers I used to keep out the world. He could see the goodness in me and would make openings for the light to get out...and in.

He lived from his backbone with humor, grit and tenderness.

May he walk in beauty.

I met Tom just once, when he and Jane and their son Ben attended a reunion at the college where Jane and I first met, a million years ago. At that time he and Jane had been together for some years, and Ben was only a youngster. I could tell from Jane's bearing and demeanor how much love she had for Tom, and how great his gift to her must be. I could tell from Ben's bright presence that Tom must be a wonderful dad to him. 

Today I feel great sadness for all who knew Tom, but happiness for them as well, because they had the chance to know such a positive, cheerful, intelligent force in the world--even for a brief spell. 

The legacy you leave is the fact that you always had a kind word, a smile and a joke to brighten the day of whoever had the good fortune to run into you. You simply made the world a better place by being genuine...and with that charming accent.
Love always- Carola, Bobby and Lukas

For those who would like to support Tom's wife, Jane, and their son, Benjamin, please consider this site:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/How-to-Help-Jane-and-Benjamin

I received my first true professional massage from Tom when I was new at the American Ballet Theatre. It blew my mind. It was transformative, magical. He was strong, intuitive, talented, but I know his spirit above all imbued all of these qualities and his personal magic. 
I admired how he lived and shared his life in style, not the common style we think of superficially, but a genuine integrative style, true  to his soul. He cared, truly. Jane, we met at times, but I didn’t know you so well. My heart is heavy and goes out to you and Ben. There are a few people you remember in your life as having made such an impact, and I remember this even though it has been decades. Peace be with you, and with Tom.

...That’s the type of person Tom was, he was always open, and I felt a great connection with him every time we talked. We’d see each other casually on the street, as I’d be coming home from the yard sometimes, and we’d have the best conversations. He had such great wisdom. He listened, but was also an amazing storyteller. We had Tom, Jane, and Ben over for Thanksgiving one year, and I remember this ambiance that he lit everyone up with, with such a profound presence as he went on great story after great story. It was something really special about him that I’ll never forget.

Tom, we love you and miss you dearly. You had the most beautiful and loving character, and I’ll always remember the times we spent together. May you rest in peace. Jane and Ben, we send our most heartfelt condolences to you and your family for your loss. We love you, and we offer nothing but support in these hard times. 

With love,
Diego, Sofia, Hilda, and Santi


I first got to know Tom years ago, during my days in elementary school at PS 87. Sofia was in Ben’s class, and from those first moments of our families meeting up, talking at school events, and just spending great quality time around each other I knew Tom was someone I wanted to be like. I admired him so much. He had a great energy about him, a charisma that he filled the room with every time you were around him. He was so warm hearted and good natured, and every time we talked I felt that from him. 

Some of my fondest memories with Tom have to be a few summers ago, where we’d see each other nearly every day. From 2015 through 2018, I would always take a group of my baseball buddies to the yard to play ‘tennis baseball’ in the PS 87 yard. Every one of those days, Ben would join us, and we’d have a blast for hours, launching balls onto the street and sometimes the buildings on the other side of 77th street. I took Ben under my wing, he’s always felt like the younger brother I never had. I’d look out for him, teach him new tips on how to not sling the ball when throwing, and how to hit some opposite field shots in the yard. When we were running low on balls, we would even go to Modells, and I’d watch Ben spend $50 on his own to buy our group a ton of balls, and sacrifice for us to play. He’d jump over the fences into the locked garden, and would do anything to find a lost ball for us. It's that same selflessness and caring nature, that Tom always had. I still see it in Ben all the time.

Each of those nights, I’d bring Ben back to his house after 5 to 6 hours of playing ball, and Tom and I would talk about everything under the sun. Those were the best moments we shared, just talking about life, learning, our families, the neighborhood, and of course the new baseball skills I could teach Ben in his quest to become the most dominant hitter in the tennis baseball group...

Dear Jane,
I am so sorry for your loss of my dear friend Tom. We became friends at Auburn, and remained loosely connected through the years. Tom was one of the most fascinating people I ever knew, but I loved him because he was such a kind and gentle soul. Through the years he visited my home in Birmingham, my boat in Orange Beach, Alabama, and he fixed lunch for myself and friends at his homemade cabin in North Carolina. I last saw him for a quick lunch in NY a few years back with your son. Please accept my sincere condolences. He was a great and gentle man, and he will be missed.. 

Dear Jane and Ben, I am truly sorry to hear this news and wish to offer my most heartfelt condolences to you and your loved ones on behalf of the entire CS family. Wishing you  strength, serenity and wonderful memories during this most difficult time. With love and support, Henry




Dear Jane & Bin, 
My husband Bert and I were saddened to learn of Tom's passing. We are so sorry for your profound loss. We have been friends with Tom for 50 years. Bert & two  of my brothers, Bill & David Stegall, were his Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity brothers at Auburn. We all have many fond memories of our time with Tom. May he Rest In Peace, may you and all who loved him be comforted, and may his memory always be a blessing. . May peace be with you. Sending love and heartfelt sympathy. 

Tom was a charitable and caring man who always gave selflessly from himself to everyone around him. He had vast wisdom and life experience. He embodied honor, service, trust, and dignity. Everyone was able to confide in him, count on him, and find calm and solace in his presence. My family and I are fortunate to have known Tom and his family all these years. We will truly miss him. Tom will leave a lasting legacy.

Tom was a kind, encouraging, supportive, thoughtful and reliable friend. He had a profound positive influence on my son.  Tom prepared a special birthday celebration for Ben M and they invited my Ben to spend the weekend with them in Connecticut.  They camped at the beach and the three of them had a great time.  Tom will be greatly missed by many. Yet his unique character will bring smiles to our faces for eternity.

OBITUARY

Thomas Mccracken

April 20, 1950 – April 15, 2020

Riverside Memorial Chapel

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