Joan Marie McIntosh

February 28, 2019. She attended Escola Americana of Rio de Janerio, Brazil, as well as The American High School of Mexico City, she then graduated from the University of Oklahoma.

Memorial Service will be held 2:00 pm, Tuesday, March 5, 2019 at Primrose Funeral Service.

She prepared her own obituary years ago, preferring it to be more personal than conventional.

“I am grateful to my mother, Joan Gudmundsen Asper Montgomery, who taught me the art of love and fun, and to my father, James Emerson Asper, who took me to foreign lands.

The miracles, magic and meaning of my life were: my son, Michael McIntosh of Norman, and my daughter, Jenny McIntosh Flax, and her husband Troy, of Norman. As well as my sister, my lifetime soul mate, Catherine Asper, San Luis Obispo, California. Also Karen Strate McIntosh Telford of Norman. Each grandchild, Sam, Abby, Will, Jack, Ali and Michael were loved dearly, and held a special place in my heart, as well as my nephew and niece, Alexander and Natasha.

In addition to the people I have loved throughout my life, I have enjoyed so many pleasures. In no particular order, I took great delight in: the lifelong company and comfort of cats and dogs, going barefoot, playing games, giving gifts, wearing jeans, staying at home with my children when they were young, sitting on the floor, gothic architecture, reading, searching for quotations, quiet contemplation, growth, understanding, change, philosophizing, insights, ah-ha moments, curiosity, quests, discoveries, or perhaps better said by Longfellow, “The love of learning, the sequestered nooks and all the sweet serenity of books.” As well as being, “Stung by the splendor of a sudden thought.” (R. Browning)… Palm trees, pine trees, and big old shade trees. Artists: Winslow Homer, William Morris, a stack of promising books waiting to be read, comfortable clothes, children, the tropics, imagination, oak wood, wicker furniture, baskets and boxes, long naps, getting letters published in TIME magazine; genuine conversations, being the chronicler of the cute things my grandkids said, movies, down comforters, soft sheets, gold hoop earrings, sunbathing, summer, all of the Christmas season, 50s music, honesty, founding and facilitating the Norman Anxiety and Phobia Support Group for fourteen years, laughing, the library, Broadway musicals, Audrey Hepburn, Jackie Kennedy, Erma Bombeck, having books I researched published by Running Press, the smell of the sea, the sight of a baby’s smile, writing, alliterations, eloquence, the consistency of 9 a.m. heartfelt happy talks with Mayra, common sense, taking showers, short visits, long letters, too many favorite books and authors to ever list, self-sufficiency, memories of moments and people and places of my past which are forever a part of me, making my homes personal and pleasing, balance and symmetry, cubby holes, fruit, shrimp, breads, lemon pie, cereal, coffee, Cokes and cigarettes, my daily passion of transcribing quotations for my personal collection, my very favorite interior place/space in OK – the Great Reading Room in Bizell Library, writing book reviews, discovering books my friends will enjoy, eyes that smile, kindness in any form. I am extremely thankful for the great good fortune I have had in my life. To have had my world view broadened and my childhood enhanced by growing up in Rio de Janeiro and Mexico City. I have had such a good life! Whatever challenges, heartaches, and losses I’ve faced have been so minimal compared to the extraordinary experiences I’ve had, people I’ve loved… All I’ve learned and enjoyed… All my material and physical advantages. There is really no way to express how humble and grateful I am for having had such a happy life, full of plenty and pleasure. In lieu of flowers or donations, plant a tree. Or, in keeping with a favorite quote, “There is time, if you need the comfort, to touch the person next to you.” (Thomas Pynchon) – please read to a child, pat a pet, listen to a friend, or hold your family close – go hand-in-hand somehow.”