with her daughters by her side. A proud Italian American and second generation San Franciscan, Marilyn was born to Reno Luchetti and Sue Bocci on October 28, 1926. She is survived by her daughters Angela Brassinga (Fred Sandsmark), Carolyn McCarthy (Tim Tobias), Liz McCarthy, and Barbara Dickason Brad) and grandchildren Andrew (Evy), Colin, Ren, Finn, Carly, Evan, and Celeste and cousin Barbara Bosque. Preceded in death by her brother Lawrence Luchetti and cousin Beverly Desmond.
They say curiosity killed the cat, but when it came to Marilyn McCarthy it’s what kept her going for 97 years. She never stopped learning, questioning, and exploring.
Did her curiosity start with a childhood tap dancing lesson? Or the wonder at meeting her adorable twin cousins Beverly and Barbara Luchetti or the first time? Is curiosity what made her save Ovaltine labels to send away for an Orphan Annie decoder ring? Was there a teacher at Commodore Sloat Elementary School, Aptos Junior High, or St. Rose Academy for Girls who sparked her curiosity? Perhaps it was all of the above.
Marilyn treasured her time at St. Rose. There she prepared for college, honed her cheerleading skills, deepened her Catholic faith, and learned to smoke. Marilyn continued her education at Dominican College where she made lifelong friends while majoring in chemistry and English literature, attending summer sessions at UC Berkeley and UC Santa Barbara. At the time Dominican only awarded Bachelor of Arts degrees in all disciplines, but she insisted on and was awarded a Bachelor of Science. She knew she’d be competing against men with B.S. for jobs and she wanted to even the playing field. After her 1949 graduation she landed her first lab job at Mt. Zion Hospital in San Francisco and worked there until starting a family in 1958. A decade or so later she returned to work at Novato Community Hospital and then moved to Kaiser Terra Linda from which she retired at age of 72. Marilyn’s career in the laboratory spanned decades, with constantly changing technology, and she always welcomed the opportunity to learn new skills. She also made great friends while working in the lab and enjoyed many outings and reunions with them until quite recently.
In 1952 at the age of 26 Marilyn’s curiosity took her on the adventure of a lifetime. She loaded her father’s Packard station wagon with her camera, suitcase and best friend Marie Rovere. They drove to New York, loaded the car on the Île de France, and set sail for Europe. The friends drove all over Europe for five months, visiting family, friends, museums, and churches. She stayed with her Bocci and Luchetti relatives while in Italy. When she returned in 2005 the relatives welcomed her again and reminisced about her visit 53 years earlier. Marilyn encouraged her daughters and grandchildren to visit their Italian relations when in Italy.
In 1963 Marilyn’s curiosity took her across the Golden Gate Bridge to Marin County. She and then husband Tom, with two young daughters and one more on the way, became proud owners of a brand new Eichler home in Lucas Valley. Marilyn raised four daughters in this house and remained there until 2012 when she moved to Smith Ranch Homes in San Rafael. On the first day of every school year each of her girls stood at the orange front door in a new back-to-school outfit and posed for the annual photo. She sent them off with the same message each year: “Be kind, work hard, have fun.”
Marilyn remained curious throughout her life, and her love of learning never stopped. Her bookshelves were lined with classics, best sellers, reference and advice books. For a couple of summers in the 1970s Marilyn treated the family to a week at Stanford Sierra Camp with activities for her daughters and workshops and lectures herself. She also took classes and attended lectures at College of Marin, the JCC, Spirit Rock, Green Gulch, and the Fromm Institute. When Marilyn moved to Smith Ranch in San Rafael she started a group to research and discuss ballot initiatives.
But it wasn’t all books and lectures for Marilyn. Family was important to her. She shared many stories of childhood gatherings with her Bocci and Luchetti cousins. As an adult she often turned to her beloved brother Larry Luchetti for advice but also to laugh and reminisce about their younger days. She loved attending birthdays, baptisms, bar and bat mitzvahs, weddings, showers, and graduations for daughters and grandchildren as well as her Luchetti, Bosque, and Desmond nieces and nephews. Many of them received one of Marilyn’s handmade cards on these occasions. For years she hosted Easter at the house on Idylberry Road in Lucas Valley. There was always plenty of food and a rambunctious egg hunt.
Marilyn’s curiosity and love of family live on in her daughters and grandchildren. We, her daughters often say the greatest gift our mother gave us was each other.
Marilyn will be honored at a memorial mass on Saturday, April 20, 2024,11 a.m., St. Isabella’s Church, Trinity Way, San Rafael. Please join us.
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