OBITUARY
Ray Southland
Born February 21, 1961
It is with broken hearts we announce the passing of Ray Southland, born February 21, 1961 in Meriden, CT. Ray is survived by his life-long love his wife Andrea, mother Frances Southland, mother and father in law June and James Dunphy, grandmother Evelyn Mason, brothers and sisters in law Steven and Susan Barker, David Lincoln, Dan Campbell and Lynn Perigard, Rob and Charito Fondry, and his eight nieces and nephews who he loved dearly. Ray was predeceased by his “fathers” Harold Southland and Frank Polito, brothers James and Bill Southland, and sister in law Laura Lincoln.
Among Ray’s many loves, his wife and family always came first. Music and the performing arts, wrestling, education, the beach and dogs were among his passions....and let’s not forget those Red Sox. Ray worked tirelessly to support and encourage every child he met in all facets of his life. Anyone who knew Ray loved him for his sincerity, generosity and huge heart. He brought out the best in all of us.
Ray dedicated his life to helping others, his fierce dedication fueled by his love of children. He volunteered in various roles on many committees and community and professional organizations. He also worked as coach, athletic director, wrestling official, teacher, assistant principal and most recently as Principal of Washington Middle School in Meriden, CT (aka, his extended family). It was in education that Ray felt he could make the most difference.
Ray’s legacy is evident in the countless lives made better by those who knew him. He took a personal interest with intense dedication to help every child he could reach. We all have a “Ray Story” about how Ray has positively impacted our lives and those of our children. The family would love to know your “Ray Story”, so please email it to them at MyRaySouthlandStory@gmail.com.
A memorial service to celebrate Ray’s life will be held on Saturday, August 17th at 10am, at Maloney High School, 121 Gravel St., Meriden. In lieu of flowers, donations may be sent to the Ray Southland Scholarship Fund, 22 Liberty St., Meriden, CT 06450. Ray’s wishes were to spend eternity at the beach, so his ashes will be spread privately at the convenience of the family.
Services
- Memorial Service Saturday, August 17, 2019
Memories
Ray Southland
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ADD A MEMORYMary Tobias
August 17, 2019
Ray was the best kind of person to have in a school system. He showed through example, he was firm and kind and he took a genuine interest in the kids and there interests. He touched many lives and all are better for it Ray will be truly missed but never forgotten. The Tobias Family
The Straub Family
August 17, 2019
Andrea please know that we have you and Ray in our thoughts and prayers, now and always. Our deepest sympathies to you and your families.
I consider myself very fortunate and blessed to have Ray in my life.
He is always with me. We love you.
kevin bunnell
July 31, 2019
He was an awesome principal and a person at the same time maybe he's leading a class in heven i just wanted to say thanks ray for all the memories and to the family sorry for your loss
Jennifer Batchelder
July 26, 2019
My heartfelt sympathy to the entire Southland family. Ray was such a kind and fun loving person whom I was lucky enough to call my boss and friend. He was always there for anyone in need and treated staff and students at WMS as family. He even made our families feel like his family. Whenever my son would visit Washington he was greeted with a warm welcome and a hug. He took a sincere interest in him and how he is doing as he did with the families of all his staff members. I feel privileged to have worked with Ray for many years at Washington. He cared deeply for people and made everyone feel special. This summer I was lucky enough to enjoy an evening at his beach house with Andrea and some other WMS and Meriden staff members. While Ray was giving a tour of his home, every time I complimented something, he would say that was Andrea...She did the work...She has great taste ...she picked out the kitchen installed it etc. He gave her all the credit for having their home and for it being so charming. It was easy to see how proud he was of his wife and their home. They were gracious hosts providing delicious food, a fire on the beach and enjoying everyone’s company. It was a beautiful night that I will remember in my heart. I will miss his laughter kindness and joyful spirit
Erika Kallas
July 25, 2019
Ray always had a way of making my daughter smile. He always told her never to settle. Reach higher! So with that being said she came out of her shell an found her groove! We thank u Ray for always being positive an amazing. We will miss u . But we will continue to think of u. Your impact on the students an staff at WMS was truly amazing! Rock the heavens Ray! Much love
❤❤ Erika an Akira Kallas
Larry Krochko
July 25, 2019
I’m so sorry for your loss, RIP Ray, you will be missed.
Jason Gorski
July 25, 2019
Though I have only known Ray for one year, he has truly touched my heart and taught me some invaluable lessons. Number one being to always believe in kids. Ray believed in every student he came into contact with, and every teacher he has mentored. In my first year at Washington, Ray offered a warm welcome.
I remember going to my office over the summer last year, freshly hired and excited. I buzzed into Washington and was asked “May I help you?” by one of the secretaries as they had not yet met me. I replied, “Hi I’m jason Gorski, I’ll be the new school psychologist starting in the fall.” The secretary buzzed me in but not before Ray came onto the speaker and said enthusiastically, “We’ll see about that!” So extremely nervous and anxious by what he meant by that, I walked into the office and was welcomed with an applause and a hug by Ray.
I will miss Ray everyday and will think of this every morning I enter Washington. I hope to be like Ray as I grow into my career further as he did not let years jade him, but rather he was excited by new challenges. Ray was always true to who he was and if you wanted an honest opinion, Ray would always give it to you.
I give my deepest apologies to Ray’s family and friends. Let’s continue to be there for each other, as Ray was there for us.
Hector Cardona
July 25, 2019
Like so many others, my family and I feel blessed to have had the pleasure of knowing Ray. As the Principle of WMS he has created an extended family that will never forget him, and I know we will honor his memory by doing our best to continue his dedication to the children of Meriden. My condolences to Andrea and the rest of Ray's family. May he rest in peace.
With love, the Cardona Family
Christian Kosovic
July 25, 2019
My name is Christian and I just finished as a student at Washington. I really appreciated Mr Southland. I had some challenges with my health growing up and sometimes needed support. When I needed help he was always there for me. Many times I felt so lucky to have him. He made me believe all I could do was possible because he would show he was proud. Just wish I could thank him one more time
Zach Martowski
July 25, 2019
Working at WMS through my university internship was the first working experience of my education career. Ray was not only super helpful, supportive, and positive, but made sure that I felt welcome and a part of the WMS family during my short time at the school. It was evident that Ray cared deeply about the kids and made efforts to really connect with them. He'd go to student events outside of school hours, going above and beyond his responsibilities. Ray left such a positive impact on me and taught me so many important teaching qualities. WMS has suffered a major loss but we will all take what we learned from Ray to better ourselves in the future
Ryne Dorsey
July 25, 2019
I'm shocked and saddened to here of Ray's passing. Though we haven't been in contact for many years, the sense of loss is overwhelming. I had the opportunity to work with Ray during his tenure at the Mountainside Outing Club in the 80s and 90s. Due to the nature of our jobs, we spent an inordinate amount of time together along with our other coworkers. To this day, there aren't many days that go by that there isn't some anecdote that comes into mind when thinking about those times together. Ray was at the helm of the group of friends we shared. He worked countless hours to satisfy his customers needs and requests. He was the most unselfish person I've ever met. His love for his long list of friends and family is unparalleled. His love for the sport of wrestling was just as prevalent. Though I had zero knowledge of this sport, watching Ray's enthusiasm and dedication to it, made you in instant fan of the sport. Through all his work in school, wrestling and previous jobs as a young man, was his wife Andrea. She was always there with and for him. I'm very sorry for your loss. I hope all these memories of your wonderful husband give you some solace now and in the days to come. Ray, you are missed by so many friends, students, family the list will keep growing. Your loss is tremendous. I hope you know how much you were loved by all of us. God bless you, your family and friends. My deepest sympathies to all.
Anita Gennaro
July 25, 2019
Ray was truly a genuine and kind person. He made everyone around him at ease and made them feel that he truly cared for them. He will be missed by so many. Rest In Peace and watch over us.
Angela Duffy
July 24, 2019
To the Southland family, I am so very sorry for your loss, he was more than just a principal at WMS, he was a friend to all, I work in the school cafeteria, and my 16 year old son from Maloney, volunteered to play guitar for an event, and Ray happily accepted, while my son was playing guitar on the downtime in between he asked my son, "do you know hotel California?" he was impressed that he did, he asked him to play it, and Mr.southland sang along into the microphone, all day he kept coming up to us girls in the cafeteria, smiling and singing that song,he told me he had the best time that day. One year later my son went to a game at WMS, Mr. Southland was so excited to see him, he yelled MICHAEL!! Shook his hand, gave him a hug,and said, remember when we sang together? Then talked to him for a good half hour like they were friends forever. My youngest son,who attends WMS,and Mr.southland would always battle which baseball team was better, my son is a Yankees fan,then Mr.southland would come in the kitchen to tell me, they bet airheads candies on the world series, and they were wearing rival team jerseys. He told me he loved how my son played baseball, he went to the WMS baseball games and would watch the students play. He was such a genuine person, and I will miss his smiles and friendly hello in the hallway, I'm lucky to have met such a wonderful person.
Jo-Ann Hall
July 24, 2019
Ray was a one-in-a-million person, and has impacted our son George, as well as our lives tremendously! Because of Ray’s dedication to being a part of his students’ lives no matter the cost, we have hundreds of wonderful memories with him. But the one that stuck out the most was 6th grade orientation. Our son was very nervous about middle school, and to top it off, we arrived late to orientation because we had just arrived back in Connecticut that morning after dropping his sister off at college at Notre Dame. The tours were already over, and we tried to console our son while we walked to the office to pick up his schedule. Ray stepped right up to greet all of us, and as we groggily apologized for being late, he gave us a huge smile, and proceeded to give George a personal orientation of WMS! He chatted with our son as if he had known him his whole life, asking him about his interests, and making him smile. I will never forget the support and care he provided to George that day, and throughout the rest of his time at WMS, and Maloney. You will be sorely missed by the Halls, Ray. Rest In Peace ❤️
Ken Lipshez
July 24, 2019
Ray was instrumental in igniting my interest in covering scholastic wrestling. He was always so encouraging and thankful for the writing I did for his sport. It’s like one of the former Southington wrestlers recently said. He was always excited when Ray was officiating because he knew the job would be well-done. My heart is broken.
Annika Hanson
July 24, 2019
Ray was full of sunshine every time I saw him. He welcomed me back with a hug and smile every time I went traveled back to the WMS drama club productions. Ray was a great man through and through. My condolences to the family.
Caitlin DePalma
July 24, 2019
Ray Southland was a great man. He always saw the positive in others. He always had a smile. He always had something kind to say. I have known him most of my life since he went to school with my oldest sister and wrestled with my oldest brother. I thought of him as an older brother and benefited from his advice over the years. My family and I were fortunate that our sons had Ray as their principal. He positively influenced them and was so caring, compassionate, and supportive to them and to all of the students. We always looked forward to Ray’s cameos in Washington’s plays. His sense of humor made everyone feel welcome at WMS. I miss him and feel blessed to have been his friend. My sympathies to Andrea, Mrs. Southland, and all of his family and colleagues. I am heartbroken with you. Caitlin
Nancy Atterberry
July 24, 2019
My deepest sympathy to Andrea, family, and friends of Ray. He will be missed. Ray was a loving kind man. He showed this to me and my family in every instance. My family and I will always remember his warm smile and hugs. We hope you find comfort in knowing that we loved him and will cherish his memory. God Bless.
With our deepest sympathy, the Atterberry family
Erika Kallas
July 24, 2019
I loved how Ray always told my daughter despite her medical condition never let it define her. He told her there isn't anything u can't do. Always positive w a smile. The WMS family will keep u in our hearts always. U will be missed but never forgotten! 🙌🏽❤🙏🏻
Jerry Lagace
July 24, 2019
I remember when Ray worked at Brands Mart. He & a co worker carried a fridge threw our back yard to my parents house which was next door. They delivered the fridge inside the house & removed the old one. I remember when Ray was Bartending at Milner's Cafe on Broad St in Meriden. Ray didn't have an enemy in the world. I will always remember his smile... his laugh... his kindness to all that met him... He will be missed by all that knew him... My condolences to his family!!! Jerry Lagace
Susan Trella
July 23, 2019
Ray and I went to Maloney and then CCSU together. He was a friend who was always there sharing the fun times and struggles of youth. He matured into an amazing man giving of himself to all. The children felt safe in school with their friend, protector and leader at the helm. He was a mentor to many and an advocate of Meriden education. A few years back, he once again was there for me helping me through a difficult personal time. Ray’s passing leaves an emptiness in our community.
My prayers and sympathies to Mrs. Southland, Andrea and all who knew him. We are all heartbroken.
Robin Cusachs
July 23, 2019
The boys will miss their Uncle Ray.
Robin Kenney Cusachs
July 23, 2019
Ray was the BEST. One of the really good guys. He made an impression on every person he met. His genuine smile and love of life was contagious. I was privileged to have known him and called him friend for most of my life. He was also principal to my kids at Washington where he went above and beyond for every student. He will be missed by so many. Sending love, hugs and prayers to Andrea and the rest of his family. ❤️🙏❤️
Evelyn Lorenzo
July 23, 2019
I'm so very sorry that this world lost such a kind soul. As principal of Washington MS, he was a genuine force of understanding and compassion, while upholding high standards. We'll miss you!
Scott Legacy
July 22, 2019
I have had the pleasure to know Ray since he began his officiating career. Ray was a class act on and off the mat. He always had a friendly hello at every event my teams competed In that he officiated.
The world will miss Ray, and especially the impact he had on the wrestling world!
We will miss you Ray. RIP
Scott Legacy
Castleton University Wrestling Coach
Former Mt. Anthony Union Coach
Jamie McGee
July 22, 2019
Ray started as the Principal of the school my son was attending. On my sons first day (he was an 8th grade transfer student with SEVERE anxiety.) Rray put his arm around my son and said come in buddy ill walk you to class. It was that moment that I realized how special Ray was. My daughter was next with her own unique set of stuff going on. Ray had taken a special interest in not only my children but in my family as well. Ray became my friend in the 4 years my children attended WMS. You will be deeply missed. To his family iMaddy and I send out deepest heartfelt condolences.
Shannon Carballo
July 22, 2019
Thank You for taking good care of all my 4 children you just graduated my last child Candice DeJesus on June 7th May you RIP I remember joking with you saying you can finally take my name off your door May God Bless your family at this difficult time.
Victor Rivera
July 22, 2019
Ray was one of my athletic directors while I was at Maloney. He was very supportive of my program. I enjoyed our conversations about volleyball and wrestling. R.I.P. Ray
Alice DeStefano Heintz
July 22, 2019
I am heartbroken over the sudden loss of Ray who I was lucky enough to work for and with since 2010 at WMS. Ray was a good and caring human being. He was extremely supportive and compassionately understanding. He treated his staff like family and that's what we are -- a family with ups, downs and everything in between. Together, we go through it all and we get through it all. I will never, ever forget you, sweet Ray.
With Love,
Alice DeStefano Heintz
Drew Black
July 22, 2019
I knew Ray through the great sport of wrestling. He was a great professional and cared very much about all he did. Whenever we spoke it was always a friendly conversation. Thank you for all your dedication and it was a pleasure being a colleague with you. My sympathies to the family. Ray will be with you always as you think and reflect on all the special times and moments shared together. Peace & love to all of you.
Kristy Coon
July 22, 2019
Ray, you will always hold a place in my heart. Thank you for being you, supporting me, and being a role model to my children.
The show will go on, because you taught us how. RIP. I will miss you.
Love, Kristy and family.
FROM THE FAMILY
FROM THE FAMILY
IN THE CARE OF