Raymond L. Ames

March 24, 1933November 24, 2011

Raymond “Skip” Ames, 78 of Old Saybrook, CT, died Thanksgiving Day, November 24, 2011, in Old Saybrook. Born March 24, 1933 in New Gloucester Maine, he was the son of the late George Francis and Jeanette (May) Ames also of Maine. He was predeceased by his devoted and loving wife of 41 years, Lorraine (Nicol) Ames in 1997. He was the last of 11 children having been predeceased by six brothers; Gordon, George, Frank, Eddie, Maynard, John and four sisters; Phyllis, Barbara, Shirley, and Elizabeth. He is survived by his five loving children; Stephanie Ames of Westbrook, CT, Susan Ames of Skowhegan, ME, Sharon Ames and her partner Alf Jorgensen of Deep River, CT, Sandra Murphy and her husband Dan of Westbrook, CT, and Scott Ames and his wife Christine of Newtown, CT and seven beautiful grandchildren, who cherished him and lovingly called him “Pop-pop”. They are Krysta Ames of Skowhegan, ME, Jeanette “Jenny” and Lydia Murphy of Westbrook, CT and Ryan, Mallory, Max, and Shaylen Ames, of Newtown, CT. He is also survived by his loving companion of six years, Barbara Ball, of Old Saybrook, CT and their poodle, Ruby Dee. Ray worked for the Old Saybrook Public Schools as a custodian in the Main Street School for many years and later, in the Goodwin School. He went on to finish his working years at St. John Church, also in Old Saybrook. He is survived by many nieces, nephews, extended family members, and friends; all of whom held him in highest regard. He will surely be missed. Friends may call at the Swan Funeral Home, 1224 Boston Post Road, Old Saybrook on Sunday November 27, 2011 from 4:00 to 7:00 p.m A Funeral Service will be held, Monday November 28,2011 , 11:00am at the Swan Funeral Home. Graveside burial in Cypress Cemetery Old Saybrook will immediately follow. In lieu of flowers Memorial Donations in his name may be made to the American Lung Assoc. Ct. Chapter 45 Ash Street East Hartford, CT 06108-3272., or to a charity of the donors choice. To leave an online tribute or condolence please visit


  • Visitation Sunday, November 27, 2011
  • Funeral Service Monday, November 28, 2011

Raymond L. Ames

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November 24, 2012

Dear Dad,
Today is the one year anniversary of your death and I can't believe how quickly that time passed. I have missed you every single day since last Thanksgiving, when you left us early that morning. I know you knew we were all there from the evening before and we all came and went at various times. For many hours you were surrounded by your entire family. I stayed until about 5:00 the morning you died and then went home to get a little sleep, thinking I had time to do so and still get back before you were gone. But I was wrong and you went to heaven a short while after I went home. I am so sad that I wasn't there with you when you passed but even though I wasn't there beside your bed I was with you in my heart.

I am so thankful you were my father. I've spent my whole life, and will continue to do so, trying to live up to the example you set for me. You were hard working and honorable. You were selfless, generous, thoughtful and kind. I have never known a person who lived his life with as much integrity as you did and I doubt I ever will. You loved your family and we loved you. You cared for us every day of our lives when we were little and you watched over us when we became adults. You cared for Mom when she was ill and dying with a gentle and loving touch. Your children and grandchildren are the individuals they are today in large part because of the man you were and the way you lived your life. We were all so blessed.

I love you so much Dad and I will miss you every day of my life. Please give a hug and a kiss to Ma and tell her how much I love and miss her too.

One last note...I want you and Mom to know that your first great grandchild is due in February. Krysta is having a baby boy....Wesley Alan Soule. I wish he could have met you both and you him. I will tell him all about you and the wonderful people you were.

Love, Sue

November 24, 2012

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. You'll never know dear how much I love you, please don't take my sunshine away.

November 24, 2012

Dear Dad -
It has been a year, to the day, since you passed. I miss you so much. So much has changed since you left. I guess that's just the way it is. Susan, Krysta and I set off some balloons for you up at Krysta & Drews new house today. They soared up to heaven. You and mom are in my thoughts every single day. My memories take me back to the most favorite parts of my life. You both gave me a wonderful life. I thank you. Until we meet again.


October 19, 2012

Dear Ray,

I remember the day you saw me in Dunkin Donuts and asked me to go to lunch with you. It was a start of spending six years of my life with you. It was the most beautiful six years of my life, with you and Ruby Dee. I loved you so much.

Sandra Murphy

July 25, 2012

It has been eight months since you departed this world to take your place at the Lord's table and I miss you. Most days I won't even think about it. I just kind of pretend that you're still here. Not really fully accepting that you're gone. The seasons have changed three times, the date on the headstone has been carved and we've gone about our days, but it feels so wrong that you are not here. You always put family first and worked so hard for so long. The last years without Mom were very difficult and I know you struggled and suffered for a long time. I'm sorry I didn't do more to help you through those difficult days. You were always there for me and put family first. I should have done better. Although I can't go back and change the past – I promise to honor your memory and search out opportunities to do good works. Even if I work real hard, I'll still only be half the parent and spouse that you were. I was blessed to be your daughter and I'm thankful for my place in your life and your place in my heart.

Roxanne Nicol

March 26, 2012

Dear Uncle skip,
I think about you all the time, I just want to get In the car and sit with you on the front porch and talk, I know It was your Birthday Sat same day as my grandson's, Special day for both of you. I hope your having fun up In heaven with everyone tell my parents hello and tell them they have a great grandson now..Love you Uncle Skip..

March 24, 2012

Dearest Dad,

Today would have been your 79th birthday. We all miss you deeply and wish you were still with us. I wish you could have seen this past winter or should I say the winter that wasn't. Only one plowing needed!

You would have been able to sit on your front porch during warm days in December, January, February and March!

The daffodils and forsythia are already out and there are buds on the lilacs and azaleas. I hope you and Ruby Dee found each other at the Rainbow Bridge last month.

Love Always,


January 24, 2012

Dear God -

It has been two months since you called my dad home. Thank you for answering my prayers; to have him pass peacefully, painlessly, and without fear.

Thank you for alligning the stars so that my mother and fathers paths would cross in life, so they could fall in love, get married, have a loving family of five children; who would go on to give them seven beautiful grand-children.

It was the most amazing gift I could hope for; the best parents possible. They put their dreams on hold so that we could all follow ours.

They taught us the value of working hard and giving 110% of ourselves always. They taught us to be kind, generous, thoughtful, strong, and confident. They were strict, but that made us really great people.

Please tell my mom and dad that I miss them more than words can say. I talk to them often. I know I will see them again one day. What a joyful and glorious day that will be. Until then there is much to be done.


Sue Adelmann

December 15, 2011

My deepest sympathies to the Ames family. My mother, Marian Adelmann, worked with your dad at the Main Street School for many, many years. She thought the world of your dad, always so kind, helpful, and cheerful. Growing up I remember how hard your dad worked, like my mom, to provide for the family he loved so much. May you find comfort in each other at this very difficult time.

Bonnie (Ames) DiFazio

December 8, 2011

Uncle Skip,
I haven't seen you for a few years but I remember growing up it was always a joyous occasion when you and Aunt Lorraine would drop in. We never knew when we would see you but it was always a fun time. I am so sad to hear you have passed. Now the whole family is together again. It's never easy to lose a parent when daddy died you were there and I will always be grateful for that. I remember your jokes and your smile. Aunt Lorraine was a very lucky woman to have shared her life with you and visa versa.
I wish the kids happy memories, it's what gets us through when the days are the darkest. Dad's been gone a long time know but some days it feels like yesterday. I was so touched by all the photos - brought back alot of memories of people I haven't thought about in a long time - Aunt Phyllis, Grandpa, I even found one of my mom. You truly were a gentleman and the world will be a sadder place. I know all the kids will be okay - you taught them well. I'll miss your smile and the twinkle in your eye. Keep smiling Uncle Skippy....May you find true peace.
To the kids - so sorry for your loss. He was a truly special man. Keep in touch with the family.....I know it's not easy but we are all family.