Sara Jane Dufour

Old Town—Sara J. Dufour, 82, died April 12, 2022 at a Bangor hospital following a brief illness. She was born October 16, 1939 in Bangor the daughter of Dr. John J and Claris A. (Davis) Pearson.

Sara was educated in Old Town Schools and graduated from Old Town High School, class of 1957. She attended the University of Maine, Orono, graduating with a Bachelor’s of Science in Education. She taught in the Veazie, Milford, and Old Town school systems for 35 years. Sara and Peter Dufour were married April 30, 1960 and together raised five wonderful children. Sara was a strong woman of faith and was an active communicant of Holy Family Church where she was active with the Cursillo movement, served on the worship and spirituality commission, and served as Eucharistic minister. She traveled on many church pilgrimages including Medjugorje and Israel twice, Lourdes, Fatima, Cap-du-Madelaine, Saint Ann de Beaupre`, the Vatican, and Divine Mercy Shrine in Poland. Family was the most important aspect of Sara’s life. She was a dedicated mother to her five children and even after they were all grown, continued to keep everyone together with many family vacations which she documented in wonderful scrapbooks.

She is survived by her husband Peter and their five children, Jeff Dufour and his wife Marie, James Dufour and his wife Alison, Julie Dufour and her partner Michelle Bittrich, Jill Dufour, Jodi Lott and her husband Jason; five grandchildren, Tyler Dufour and his wife Renee, Joshua Dufour, Alexa Gould and her husband Tim, Dalton Lott, and Colby Lott; brother, John Pearson and his wife Sandra; her special Queen of Mary prayer group.

She was predeceased by her parents, sister Ann Pearson, and brother Michael Pearson.

Friends may call 4-6 PM Thursday April 21, 2022 at the Birmingham Funeral Home 438 Main St Old Town. Masks will be required, regardless of vaccination status. A Mass of Christian Burial will be celebrated 10AM Friday April 22, 2022 at Parish of the Resurrection, Holy Family Church, 429 Main St, Old Town. Immediately following the mass all are invited to the Parish Hall for a light luncheon and continued fellowship. Burial will be at Lawndale Cemetery, Old Town.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Parish of the Resurrection Capital Fund, 429 Main St, Old Town 04468 or to a charity of one’s choice.

SARA'S EULOGY

Good morning.

I am the oldest of Sara’s 5 children and I’d like to share a few words, and memories, about what a wonderful mother she was.

She was called mom, Gram, Grammy, Aunt Sara and Mrs. Dufour.

Family

When my mother was just 25 years old she already had 4 children under the age of 5. This amazes me.

And just when the youngest was about to enter school, God blessed mom with another child, because she had done such a great job raising the first 4 of us

Mom loved her family; her husband and her children, and later their spouses, her grandchildren and their spouses.

She took great pride in everything we did, and interest in everywhere we went.

Our joys were her joys. Our challenges were her challenges. Our accomplishments were her accomplishments.

Afterall, she was mom.

Career and Community

My mother was a schoolteacher for over 35 years. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I realized the impression my mother made on so many children in the community.

As a schoolteacher, mom had summers off. Summer vacation was always an exciting time for us kids. When we weren’t playing with the other kids in the neighborhood or visiting our cousins at the lake, we’d go on a family trip.

Over the years we stayed in tents and campers and camps. Family vacations, and the joy Mom found in them, continued for her entire life.

One school vacation, we took a road trip to visit our grandparents in Florida. Mom and Dad picked us up at school and loaded us into the back of the suburban, which was already packed with suitcases, sleeping bags, pillows, and a cooler. They alternated driving until we arrived in Florida 30+ hours later. Pilot and co-pilot. Always working as a team.

They were making our memories.

To this day, all I need to do is text a picture to my siblings of the South of the Border Sombrero in South Carolina, and they’ll immediately respond reminding me of the time I ordered a chili dog at 2am and we all suffered from the after-effects until we reached Florida.

Even when she wasn’t travelling with us, mom would be part of the trip. When we were younger, we would send her postcards (remember those?), and then later text pictures to her.

Mom said she liked to “live vicariously through us” when we traveled. She would give us money to go out to dinner, someplace nice, but there was a catch. Mom would pick the restaurant. Usually someplace she’d heard about from a friend or saw on TV. I have her to thank for an unforgettable evening in a rotating restaurant overlooking Niagara Falls and a dinner at “the Sea” in Disney World.

Over the years the family vacations became less frequent, but the accommodations became larger.

Every 3 or 4 years, Mom and Dad would organize a family vacation. They’d rent a really big house, usually somewhere in Maine, and they’d ask us all to join them.

This past summer they invited us all to Bar Harbor, and we all came. My parents, 5 children, 4 spouses, 5 grandchildren, and 2 grandchildren’s spouses.

During the last few vacations, we’d start a jigsaw puzzle when we first arrived. Mom always loved puzzles, and this would give her something to do at the house while others were out and about. Throughout the week, the entire family would contribute to completing the puzzle, slowly, one piece at a time, until the final evening. Then we’d stay up all night, long after mom went to bed, to finish it, because mom needed to see the completed puzzle before we could leave. That was the rule.

Growing up, Mom was always our biggest supporter and biggest fan. From Basketball Games to Swim Meets, she was always there cheering us on. I remember numerous occasions when she drove up to 14 kids, to a weekend swim meet in Portland, all crammed into the back of her Suburban, which was legal back then.

Just last week, one of the doctors at the hospital reached out to my father when he saw my mom was there. He was one of those kids Mom had driven to swim meets 45 years ago.

Mom was always sacrificing for us kids, although we didn’t realize it at the time.

We always thought that it was funny that dad would buy her “gifts” for holidays and special occasions that she would never use. Guns, fishing poles, once even a dirt bike. I now realize that “her” gifts were really “our” gifts.

As we grew up and started our own families, my mother welcomed and loved each spouse as if they were her own child, maybe more. I’ve often said that if my mother had to chose between my wife and me, she’d probably choose my wife.

And when the grandchildren arrived, that was the best. A whole new generation of children. All the joy, but without all the responsibility. Tyler, Joshua, Alexa, Dalton and Colby. This past year she attended the weddings of 2 of her grandchildren, welcoming 2 more spouses into her family.

Faith –

In addition to her family, my Mom’s faith was very important to her. As far back as I remember, she was involved in the church. Catechism, CYO, Pre-Cana, Cursillo, Prayer Groups, the list goes on.

My memories of my mom include attending an Easter morning sunrise service on Lambs Hill with the CYO and delivering food to the needy at Thanksgiving. I remember walking up to a home where you could see the flame from the fire through the holes in the wall. She made sure that we understood that although we may have less than some, we had more than many, and should be grateful for everything we had.

My mother was on the team of the Cursillo movement throughout the 1970’s. One weekend every couple of months she would travel to Saint Paul’s Center in Augusta to participate in a 3-day Cursillo retreat.

The friendships my mother made through her religious activities throughout her life were extremely important to her.

When mom and my dad retired, they went on several pilgrimages, travelling throughout Europe to places of religious significance. While we children were happy that they had the opportunity to see these wonderful places, we also worried when they were travelling abroad.

For some reason, wherever they went, a war broke out. Mom and Dad’s travel photos

included the usual pictures of Churches, cathedrals, and shrines. but also tanks manned by NATO troops in their unmistakable blue helmets.

On one trip, my mother was stuck in a plane on a runway for over a day during the civil war in Yugoslavia.

And there was the time when my sister went with them. I don’t recall exactly where they went but I remember visiting them when they returned. Mom and Dad were sharing stories of their trip and the deep spiritual connection they felt while they were there, then my sister spoke up, “we drove through fire!”. My parents proceeded to describe another place they visited, and my sister interrupted again, “men with machine guns got on our bus”. I think that was the last time one of us kids joined them on a pilgrimage.

The later years

At some point in their retirement Mom and Dad started wintering in Florida, where they would socialize with their other “snowbird” friends. Mom was always up for a game of cards, a movie, or a dinner out.

Mom’s travel became more limited the past few years as it became more difficult for her to get around but, when the weather was good, she and dad would go for a ride. And it didn’t matter where they went, the return home almost always included a stop at Spencer’s Ice Cream.

Final Days

Mom had a sense of humor and a quick wit. The day before she passed, she was speaking to my father and sister of how proud she was of us kids and that we all loved, and got along with, each other. She also stated that my father “was a good man”, something she told us often throughout her life. As was typical of their banter, he said, “say that again” to which she responded, “I lie”.

Her mind was sharp despite her body failing. She knew what was happening to her. She made sure she spoke to each of us children before she left us; hanging on until the last flight landed and the final child arrived at her bedside.

I’m sure she was pleased that Dad was praying the rosary over her when she passed, and she was surrounded by her family.

Thank you

My mother touched many lives in many ways. Likewise, there are so many people that touched hers.

Thank you to every one of you for being part of my mom’s life.

Love

Over the past week, as I’ve reflected on my mother and her life, I’m reminded of the passage from 1st Corinthians about love. I’m sure you know the one. To me, mom was love. So, I’ve changed it for mom.

Mom was patient and kind.

She did not envy or boast.

Mom was not arrogant or rude.

She did not insist on her own way.

Mom was not irritable or resentful.

She did not rejoice at wrongdoing,

but rejoiced with the truth.

Mom bore all things,

believed in all things,

hoped for all things,

endured all things.

Mom will always be with us.

Thank you, mom, for everything.

I hope we continue to make you proud.

I love you.