Mary B. Kooi was born Mary Beatrice Barnhart on October 2, 1919 “near Savoy”, Illinois. She spent her early childhood on a farm outside of Urbana, Illinois with her older brother Don and younger sisters Jean (Lukens) and Geri (Smith) and younger brother Buddy. She attended Yankee Ridge School – a one-room country school. At an early age she acquired a love for literature and poetry that lasted her whole life. Since her grandparents lived in town and had electricity, she lived with them while she attended Urbana High School. She was a member of the debate team, and always enjoyed a spirited discussion. She graduated at the age of 16 and went on to attend the University of Kansas at Lawrence for one year, finishing at the University of Illinois at Urbana. She received her Bachelor of Arts in Home Economics at the age of 20. She then attended Iowa State University at Ames, working as a graduate assistant and receiving her Master of Science degree in Foods and Nutrition in 1942.
Mary Barnhart co-authored the book “Essentials of Food Preparation” which was widely used as a text book at the college level. She was a member of AAUW and was quietly proud to be elected to Phi Beta Kappa honorary society.
It was at Ames that she met a tall, blond, blue-eyed Dutchman named Earl Robert Kooi. They enjoyed picnics, riding bikes, swimming and dancing. She said “it was during The War. No one had much money. We had to make our own fun.” One time, Earl & Mary went to the Armory, rented a rifle to shoot at playing-cards in a tree. Mary took the first shot and put a hole right thru the center of the card! That was the end of the shooting (but not the end of the date). Another time Earl came to pick up Mary for a date, but she told him she was running late and still had to vacuum first. Then she asked him if he would vacuum for her. He said he would, but he insisted on closing the curtains first, so no one would see him! They were married on May 19, 1945.
They moved 12 times during their first year of marriage, but settled in Berwyn, Illinois. They were both employed at Corn Products in Argo, Illinois where she happily worked in research until she became pregnant and started their family.
In 1952, they moved to the LaGrange Highlands and over the years raised 4 children (Janet, John, Tom, and Bob) with their associated pets (a dog, several cats, fish, frogs and a hamster). During the 1950s, Mary enjoyed participating in Great Books discussions, learning millinery, being a Camp Fire Girls leader, attending her sons’ Little League games, and (in her spare time), making most of her own clothes. During this time, she served as a deacon in the local Presbyterian church and also taught Vacation Bible School. She struck a blow for her independence when she convinced Earl that it would be safe for her to drive to millinery classes at the local high school at night BY HERSELF.
During the 50’s, money would occasionally run out before the end of the month. Mary was very creative at making tasty meals so her children never new that they were “suffering”. Sometimes when money was short, Mom would receive a royalty check from her book and they could breathe easier.
Mary made sure that her three oldest children learned to play the piano and claimed that she enjoyed listening to them practice.
Throughout the years, she looked forward to holiday trips “down home” to visit her parents and brothers and sisters. These visits were always a lively time with her mother and all of “the girls” in the kitchen cooking up country-style dinners, all of the adults laughing and joking around “the big table” while the children were assigned to smaller tables, trying their best to behave. Later, there would be cards (Hearts and Spades) until the late hours, with much more laughter, and loud discussions of people, current events, crop prices, and politics. She was very close to her brothers and sisters, and they were a source of sustenance to her. She had an avid interest in genealogy and family history.
In 1962 her beloved son Bob was born and she found her life taking a new direction. She devoted much time and energy to Bob’s development and happiness and became active in the Helping Hand Association in LaGrange, volunteering in the Helping Hand Thrift Store. While working in the Thrift Shop, she developed an interest in antiques, and collected black milk glass and carnival glass for several years. She also started raising African violets and continued to do so for the rest of her life.
During the 70’s, Mary began studying water color and oil painting, persevered over the next 35 years and became an accomplished award-winning amateur artist. Many of her paintings are held in private collections throughout the Southwest.
In 1980, Mary and Earl moved to Upland, California to be close to Bob who had moved to Salem Christian Homes. She joined the Salem Women’s Guild, and was instrumental in the development of the Three-Way Thrift Shop. She joined a bowling league at Upland Bowl and bowled every week until she was 85! She and Earl both coached Bob in bowling, supported the New Hope bowling league, and were especially proud when Bob when to the state bowling competition for Special Olympics. She also particularly enjoyed spending time with Bob’s friends at Casa Puente.
Mary continued her painting studies, joined the Associated Artists of the Inland Empire and made many wonderful friends who shared her interest in fine art and stimulating conversation.
Over the years, Mary enjoyed following the lives and accomplishments of her grandchildren Jeffrey Kooi, Steven Kooi, David Kooi, Meghan Ruvalcaba, and Jason Kooi and her great-grandchildren Aviana Kooi, Roman Kooi, Wilson Kooi, and Stella Ruvalcaba.
In 2003, Mary lost her husband of 58 years and in 2004 learned that she had colon cancer. She bravely faced these changes in her life without complaint and with determination to make the most of each day.
Mary loved writing and receiving letters and she kept every one that was ever sent to her. In more recent years she learned to use the Internet and send e-mails. She would print out e-mails that were sent to her and save them, too!
Mary made her transition on Saturday, October 16, 2010, 14 days after her 91st birthday. She was a wonderful mother and a wonderful example of everything a woman should be.
Arrangements under the direction of Draper Mortuary, Ontario, CA.
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