Ruth Ann Janet Langmaid

Hi everybody. I'm Bob, one of Ruth and Jack's children and their oldest son.

Thank you to our friend Reverend Tadeja for his kind words and his support for our family.

This is just how Mom wanted it – her family and friends gathered for a loving farewell to her after a wonderful life.

I’d like to start the family's talks today

with a biographical account of Ruth’s almost 92-year life. 

Mom's life began in 1927. 

Her parents, Garfield and Velma Case, named her Ruth Ann Janet. Little Ruth was raised in the port town of Owen Sound on Georgian Bay's south shore — the second born of three daughters.

With her older sister Berniece "Casey" and later their younger sister Jean, Ruth grew up happily in Owen Sound. That is, until faced with the sudden death of her mother in 1936 - from a brain tumour. 

Needless to say, it was devastating for 9-year-old Ruth and the rest of the family, but they did their best to get on with life.

Mom's father Garfield, my grandfather, later became prominent as a politician. 

He was mayor of Owen Sound in the early 1940s and was later elected Grey North riding's Member of Parliament.

Ruth took that all in stride, finishing high school in the late 1940s. She moved to downtown Toronto for training as a dental nurse.

As a student in Toronto she met Jack Langmaid, a dashing but down-to-earth dentistry student at the nearby University of Toronto.

(Just last week I walked by the yellow-brick building at Dundas and Beverley Streets that was the young women’s residence where Ruth lived at that time. The building now houses the Italian consulate.)

Ruth and Jack hit it off. They began dating and soon fell in love. They eventually married in the summer of '49, after Jack graduated in dentistry. He still had orthodontic training and interning ahead. 

Clearly, Ruth and Jack were a great match back then, and in the years that followed.

Ruth became a young mother in 1950. That's when I was born, while Ruth and Jack were living in Ottawa. 

The three of us spent the following year in Boston as Dad finished his orthodontic studies.

It’s a time Mom recalled as difficult for her. She was a young, new mother in a foreign city, without her sisters or familiar friends.

With Jack out most of the day, she was at home with an infant – though I think I did try to offer good conversation!

And I have a photo of the three of us on a beach at Cape Cod – so there were some fun times that year in Boston.

Then we moved to Oshawa, Dad's home town, where Jack set up an orthodontic practice in his father’s dentistry building on Simcoe Street.

Ruth soon had her hands full at home with her own baby boom. She gave birth to

Jane in 1952

Nancy in '56 

Bruce in '58.

(Light comment was made here about how Mom reminded me over the years of how I had urged her and Dad to name the baby "Fred" at the time.)

Ruth balanced her busy family life with social activities and sports, particularly skiing and sailing with Jack, and often with us kids too. 

Those sports led the family to summers of competitive Albacore sailing and winters of skiing locally and beyond.

Both of those seasonal sports generated broad circles of friends for Mom and the rest of us.  

Cottages and ski-resorts, along with a series of homes in Oshawa, provided the settings for Ruth's life with Jack and their maturing family over the years.

Speaking of ski travel —

Ruth and Jack organized and led 25 charter ski trips to Europe, the western U.S. and Canada in the 1970s, 80s and 90s. 

Closer to home, they had life-time memberships at the Oshawa Ski Club, now called Brimacombe.

They skied together year after year with the graceful rhythms of expert skiers – and they were both qualified ski instructors - until Ruth finally put her skis away for good at age 86.

That came after their last of many extended stays at Sun Peaks, B.C. Her golf game continued a little longer.

Ruth also had many long-term friendships with other women of her generation — including a bridge club group that met weekly for about 50 years. Some of her long-time friends are here today. 

Right up until now she kept in touch with a girlhood pen pal who lived in England – her friend Louise.

Mom’s skills as a knitter were already impressive when she was a young woman. Until recently she continued to knit fantastic, multi-coloured socks and mittens that she gave as gifts to family members and friends. 

Starting in the 1980s, Mom's life gained a new wave of excitement and love as grandchildren began to appear. 

I know she would be touched deeply to know that all of her nine grandchildren are here today, including Claire and Andrea, who travelled from western Canada.

Ruth also cared greatly for her nieces and nephews. Many of her sisters' family members are here today.

Mom was also delighted with – and fascinated by - her six great-grandchildren.

Mom never tired of celebrating family members’ birthdays and accomplishments - and she supported each of us when we had trying times, doing her best to help us.

She was generous at every opportunity.

As a couple, Ruth and Jack were devoted to one another over the decades. 

In 2014 they celebrated their 65th wedding anniversary with family members gathered at the cottage in Muskoka. Yes, those were 65 good years!

(Humorous aside: Yet even after all those decades with Dad, Mom never got used to Jack’s one bad habit: his first, loud, snapping bite into a crisp apple. “Oh Jack — not so loud! That's awful.”) 

In 2017, Ruth and Jack moved to their final home together — the Amica seniors' residence in Whitby. 

Downsizing to a unit a third the size of their previous home — their condo on Wilson Road — Ruth and Jack still managed to get along well together and make visitors feel comfortable.

They also made new friends and appreciated the wonderful staff at Amica. 

Jack and Marie Bathe were their regular table partners for meals in the dining room.   

Throughout her adult life, Ruth always made a point to look tastefully stylish.

She also kept up with her reading and the news of the day. 

She was diplomatic but firm in her opinions and witty with her comments. She would get to the point.

She might advise me now – "Wrap it up, Bob!"

So I’ll do that.

For a little girl who became motherless at age 9, little Ruth Case became a beautiful matriarch to a large circle — while also keeping the romance alive with her beloved Jack Langmaid.

She was a force of love.

That’s the Ruth we knew and loved, 

and that’s the Ruth we now miss.

Julie Elkin - at March 19th service

Hello everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Julie Elkin, one of Nancy’s daughters, and Ruth Langmaid was my Grandma. I can’t claim to have known her the longest, or even the best, but I knew her as what I think was one of her favourite roles, that as a Grandmother, and that is the memory I want to honor here today.

My sisters and I were fortunate to grow up with all of our Grandparents living down the street and we spent most of our summers at our Grandparents cottage. The first thing we’d do when we got to the cottage, was run up the path to see Grandma, and I can picture her so vividly, knitting in her sunroom, greeting us with a smile.

Grandma taught me how to knit, how to play cribbage, and even how to bake apple pie. There was something special about my Grandma teaching me things; she brought out the best in me. I remember, when my parents were teaching me to drive, it wasn’t going smoothly, I was nervous and stubborn and there were lots of strong feelings. So Grandma offered to take me. Under her coaching, I calmly maneuvered the car through the multiple floors of her underground condo parking, and she thought I was an excellent driver. Somehow with Grandma in charge, I was more confident, more capable; that’s something I want to hold onto. I want to keep being the version of myself that Grandma saw because she always saw the best parts of everyone.

I’ve been lucky to watch Grandma as a great grandmother. She didn’t skip a beat having babies at the cottage that woke up crying in the night (as she said she didn’t wear her hearing aid at night, so it didn’t wake her up!), and so many mornings when I was feeling tired and sometimes a little down, Grandma always had words of wisdom and encouragement that would help pick me up. Of course, she also was a huge hit with the girls, but not because of the things you might think (Grandma’s brownies or chocolate chip cookies). No, it was when Grandma started to share her breakfast with the girls that the bond was cemented. When Adelaide was a toddler there was nothing better than sharing breakfast with Grandma Langmaid at the cottage, and in true toddler logic, only Grandma could make it properly. They made a great pair; two-year-old Adelaide and Grandma on the couch together, both looking so content with one another. The special breakfast that only Grandma could make for Adelaide: cereal, yogurt, milk and fruit.

It’s impossible for me to think of Grandma without thinking of my Grandpa Jack Langmaid. Grandpa’s love for Grandma always shone through, whether it be in the way he described her golf swing, or the way he would follow her down a mountain. He always said she had the most beautiful rhythm, the type that was impossible to teach, and I have many memories of the two of them skiing down the hill, perfectly in sync. They set the bar high for what a partnership can be, and I am glad we were able to celebrate so many of their anniversaries together, often with dinner at the cottage.

Grandma was always so generous with us, whether it be her time (driving us to countless lessons and practices), her knowledge, or her love. I was trying to gather my thoughts to write this and spoke to my sisters about Grandma. There was a common theme in all of our memories: the unconditional, constant love we felt from Grandma. We all had the same stories of calling Grandma to say hello, and leaving the call feeling on top of the world. She always had time for us, always sounded so pleased to hear from us, and always knew what to say to leave us feeling so cherished and loved. Rather than say goodbye to Grandma I want to live with her in my heart and hope that I can honor her memory by living my life with the love and kindness she showered us with during her life.

Tribute to Mom. March 19th Service - Nancy, Jane, Claire

Nancy

Mom would be so happy to see you all here today. 

She would greet each of you by name.  Not only that but she'd probably remember the names of your children, your spouse and siblings, and she would ask about them too!  Her interest and caring would be genuine.   

And then, after her social exertions, she would probably sleep for much of the next 3 hours exhausted, but happy.  It would have been worth it to her.  Even though her energy was low the past couple of years, she would rise to the occasion if it involved family or special friends.

......................

If you think she cared about her friends, well - her love for her family knew no bounds. 

When our girls were younger, Mom provided me with so much love and support. She would come to visit us most days.  I’m not sure who was happier to see her, the girls or myself!  That support never ended and was given to all her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. 

Every summer she and Dad welcomed the whole family to the cottage. We had so many happy times, in the water, around the dinner table, and on the dock.  Mom was always the centre of it all, she so loved being with her family. 

We are fortunate that she left behind what she called a “letter to her darling family”.  It is a journal of loving memories and messages she wrote back when we was in her mid 60’s.  She said in it “I have often thought I should write something your can read when I am gone. To me this is an expression of my love for you.”

“Family means so much to me. I have often felt the emptiness of not having a mother or father.  I never had a feeling of family until I had Jack, and then Bob and Jane and Nancy and Bruce.  A nice family, a wonderful family, my heart honestly overflows with love for you.”

Over time Mom grew to embrace her role as social head of the family. If you were lucky enough to marry one of us, you were an instant hero.  And if you were born to one of us - well - you could do no wrong. 

She would be so touched and thrilled that her death, while a loss to us all, has also led to a family reunion.  Not just her children, all the grandchildren, but also her sisters’ children are here. Nothing would have made her happier than to know she brought us together.

Jane:

I’d like to tell you a couple of stories about “Mom being Mom to the end”

Our Aunt Jean, called Mom her  “elegant sister Ruth”.

Mom liked to look her best, and had the natural ingredients for the task. Indeed, I am pleased to report that her last appointment before entering hospital was not a medical one.  It was an appointment with her hairdresser. 

Despite being very weak, with our devoted Dad’s help, she made it downstairs and got her hair done.

Twenty four hours later the paramedics were taking her to hospital. 

Soon it was her last day. She was lying in bed in hospital and I remember thinking, “Wow Mom, your hair looks great!”  It really did!

Aunt Jean would not have been surprised and I’m sure is smiling knowingly.

Another story about Mom being Mom to the end:

This is a story about a card game, called Racko, a game we used to play at the cottage on Shadow Lake.  At Amica, Mom and I played sometimes and she struggled with it, meaning usually I won.  This didn’t go over too well given she was an experienced bridge player.

Now to change focus for a minute – I want to describe for you the touching scene at the end of her life. Mom was lying on a hospital bed, and the staff had kindly placed Dad’s bed beside hers, since he’d been admitted as well. 

They were holding hands.  She was surrounded by family.  I had some tender and reassuring words with her, she was a bit groggy.  And then I said, “Mom, last weekend when I came to visit we played Racko.”

And at this, she perked up and clearly announced with a grin ..... (pause) “And I won 3 to 1!”

What a great last memory for me Mom - your alert mind, your spirited self, giving me a good humoured loving tweak.

Nancy:

And so we come to the last topic we want to address: Mom and Dad’s partnership.  

I want to tell you a story that I think illustrates Mom and Dad’s love for each other.  On their 15th anniversary, Mom was scheduled for fairly serious surgery.  In her words:  “You can imagine my feelings with 4 young children ages 14, 12, 8, 6. (Her own Mother had died following surgery when Mom was 9 years old. ) Before her surgery we celebrated their anniversary at the cottage on Shadow Lake.

Dad had bought a special cake.  Everyone was thrilled to find a plastic ring in their piece of cake.  ( Mom often put treats in our birthday cakes). 

I don’t know if any of us will ever forget the excitement and surprise when Mom unwrapped the wax paper , only to discover that her ring wasn’t plastic – Dad had planted a stunning diamond and emerald ring! 

Dad had gone to so much work to do this for Mom. It showed his sense of fun too. I always thought it was a miracle that he managed to give her the right piece of cake! (So did she!) In her own words she said “ it meant so much to me and was given at a time I really needed the love and support of which it is a symbol. 

Jane:

It’s pretty romantic to think of Mom, all of 21 years old, moving to big city, and falling in love with Jack, who was 22. She recently recounted to me what really impressed her was seeing him for the first time, in his tennis whites. And he fell for her too. “My first girlfriend and my only girlfriend”.

A story I want to tell you about now has to do with how Jack and Ruth made a long marriage work. It’s a ski story. (Surprise!)  

We kids were aged from 10 to 2.   Mom and Dad decided to go to Mont Tremblant for a ski week with the two eldest- that was Bob and I.  Sorry Nancy and Bruce, you were left behind that time, but that didn’t happen often.   Mom was obviously up for the exploit since we went.  Having four young children hadn't stopped her from learning to ski.

We got to Tremblant, which in early 60’s, must have been a feat in itself.  Can you imagine the roads and the car. I can understand Dad taking this trek, but what it shows is Mom’s willingness to go along, her sense of adventure too.

To start the week of lessons there was a ski-off.   Believe it or not, Dad was put in the advanced class.  Mom, Bob and I were put in an intermediate class. Hmmm.

Well within a minute, I saw Dad ski over, talk to our instructor and join our class.   So that’s what this story is about. Many of you know there is no keener student of skiing than Jack Langmaid. This was his chance to hone his skills with better skiers. Yet he didn't hesitate to give up the advanced class to be with Mom in the intermediate group.

It obviously made an impression on me - almost 60 years later I’m telling you about it.  The most important person in the world to Dad was Mom.  And the most important person to Mom was Dad.  That was made clear to me from an early age.

This story illustrates to me that to make the marriage work, Dad would eagerly step down athletically to be with Mom, and Mom would equally push beyond her comfort zone to be with Dad.   They wanted to be together, it’s as simple as that.

Wanting to be together. That was the main secret I think, to 70 years of marriage.  Both of them found a way to fit together, even though their personalities and interests were quite different. 

Sometimes it was the other way around - it was Mom who stepped up and Dad who followed her lead.  Especially in the later years, Dad needed to rely on Mom more.

And sometimes they were on the same page, seeing eye to eye.  For instance their shared love of the outdoors and cottage life united them.  They were equally enthusiastic about building the cottage on Shadow Lake and later the move to Beacon Island.  

And now we are coming to the end of our speech. Mom left a very heart-felt message for Dad. We want to help her comfort you Dad, and help her tell you how she felt about you. Claire, my firstborn and the eldest grandchild, is going to help me with this, because I’m not sure I can get through it. She’s been practising so she can.

Claire:

“ I have to suppose that perhaps I will die before Jack.  I can hardly think of words to say to him.  How I love him.  How good, and true and kind he has always been.  I love him wholly and never more than when I am cross or annoyed at his truly predictable ways!  He is unique - a rare man.  How could I have been so lucky to meet him, and have him fall in love with me.  He has been the solid rock of my life, always understanding, always re-assuring, and my biggest booster.  He showed me the way.  He kept me young and active.  I always wanted to measure up to his high standards, and when I failed he never let me know.”

Jane

So dear dear Mom.  How we will miss you.  How lucky we were to have you for so long. 

Nancy

You will live on in our hearts, and in Dad’s heart every single day.  We love you so much.

* * * * * * * * * *

Family members sadly announce the passing of Ruth Langmaid at 91 years of age. Surrounded by family, with her husband by her side, Ruth died peacefully at Lakeridge Health Oshawa. Ruth leaves her loving husband Jack and their four children, nine grandchildren and six great-grandchildren. She will be lovingly remembered by sons Bob and Bruce (Pauline) and daughters Jane (Bill McKenny) and Nancy McLaughlin (John). She was a much-loved grandmother to Claire, Paul and Jack Gougeon, Wesley (Amy Ironside), Nelson Langmaid, Julie Elkin (Jon), Andrea McLaughlin (Chris Laursen), Sarah Macoun (John) and Lisa McLaughlin (Zac Watson). She leaves behind cherished great-grandchildren Adelaide, Lillian, Henry, T.J., Gavin and William. Ruth Ann Janet Case was the middle daughter of three girls born to Garfield and Velma (Stewart) Case. Ruth and her sisters Berniece "Casey" and Jean grew up in Owen Sound. Ruth and Jack settled in Jack's home town of Oshawa, where he established an orthodontic practice. As well as raising a family, Ruth was involved in social and recreational activities with Jack, notably skiing, sailing and golf. She continued to ski until age 86 and her golf game continued even longer. Ruth also loved to play bridge and read, and she was renowned for her knitting, especially her beautiful hand-knit socks. She had great circles of friends over the years in Oshawa and in cottage country, specifically at Shadow Lake and Lake Rosseau. In Ruth’s last year, she and Jack were enjoying life together and meeting new friends at Amica Whitby. In keeping with their special bond, just a week before her death, in their 70th year of marriage, they celebrated Valentine’s Day with other couples at a dinner and musical evening at Amica. Family would like to express their appreciation to the caring staff at Amica and in the Emergency Department at Lakeridge Health Oshawa. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations to Lakeridge Health Foundation would be appreciated by the family. Visitation will be held at the OSHAWA FUNERAL HOME, 847 King Street West (905-721-1234) on Tuesday March 19th from 1:00 p.m. until time of Memorial Service in the Chapel at 2 p.m. Please scroll down to leave online condolences.