David Duane Nutter

He is survived by his Mother Betty, his brother Forrest, his son Tom, granddaughter Karly, and uncle Danny Shepstone, who was like another brother to him. Also survived by nieces, other relatives, and many friends. He was preceded in death by his father Duane and brother Walter.

After graduating High School, David graduated from Lamson Business College in Phoenix, Arizona. After which he started and ran multiple businesses, the last being a very successful insurance business.

David’s interests were hunting, fishing, traveling and car racing among others.

We want to thank David’s guardian, Lamar Harner and also Aurelia Horga and the Staff at Arizona’s Golden Heart Senior Care for all the love, care, and compassion they have given David and us the last 8 years.

Services will be held at Phoenix Memorial Park and Mortuary on Tuesday, June 23, 2020, burial will follow.

~~~~~

Transcript of David's Service:

David Duane Nutter

October 7, 1949 ~ June 7, 2020

We make the world in which we live

By what we gather and what we give

By our daily deeds and the things we say

By what we keep or we cast away

We make our world by the life we lead

By the friends we have, by the books we read

By the pity we show in the hour of care,

By the loads we lift and the love we share.

We make our world by the goals we pursue

By the success we seek and the higher view

By hopes and dreams that reach the sun

And a will to fight till the best is done

We gather and scatter we take and we give

We make our world—and there, we live.

-- Alfred Grant Walton

Welcome and good morning. My name is Allene Cebe and I’m honored to be your Funeral Celebrant. This is such an important day as we gather to acknowledge and celebrate the importance of David Duane Nutter, and the ways he imprinted the world.

My wish for all of you, is that your grief is a little lighter, yes, you have been touched by sadness of David’s death, but I hope you will be inspired by the way he lived his life and his love for you.

Thank you for being here as we join our hearts with his mother Betty, his brother Forest and his wife Diane and their children Jade and Miriah, his sons Tommy and Chad, his granddaughter Karlie, and aunts and uncles. Unfortunately with the way things are in the world, there are only a few that are able to be here today.

To David’s friends and caregivers, Lamar and Arelia, our hearts break with you as you will miss this man who became a part of you.

May there always be a listening ear and a strong shoulder as you continue to tell his stories of the fun you had with him or the time he was in your care, and remember the passion he had in his life.

Thank you for being here. Whether you were a part of David’s family, circle of friends, or a caretaker, your presence is a special and a valued part of the day. Each person here says, “I am honored to have been a part of your life”.

Candles are important in our existence. We light them for special events, for birthdays, for holidays, for reverent moments of worship, and for quiet times at home. There is something powerful and peaceful about the light that reflects back into our souls.

As the candle is lit, let this light signify the ever-present love and memory of David, which will always live on in our hearts. At the same time, let it symbolize the renewal we must seek as we continue life without David, and strive to walk on with others. We all have holes in our lives because David is gone, but we are thankful we can come and be with each other, because in doing so we can find healing, and peace from the struggles of his journey. Today, we share a sacred reflection that can be felt by everyone here, one last time. For tomorrow, it will be a new day, a day without this light in each of your lives.

(Allene lights candle)

Let us open in prayer, you may bow your heads:

Sovereign Lord, Thank you for being with us as we come together and remember this very loved man, who lived his life out in the world, being kind, bringing fun and spreading joy to those places he mingled, and leaving people feeling that they were loved and important. May your presence bring peace and comfort to those who wonder, why him? Amen.

Who we are in life, we are born with it. Our true personality shines in the midst of joy and sorrow. It is a gift that we choose to give and bless the world, keep it to ourselves, or use it against humanity. David chose to give his gift of passion by bringing joy and laughter to the world. He had passion which is oxygen to the soul. Wherever he went, whether it was in kindness, reflection of those that were on the sidelines, enjoying life, or meeting the needs of people in his career, it was approached with a heart that was with a fondness of others.

Today, we will hear music that Betty has selected from Alan Jackson, one of his favorite song artists, and David’s story of how he lived his life, from a great beginning to a painful and very sorrowful end. We can hear him saying “Bet, who is singing?”

There is no denying that the ending was not a beautiful journey, so we can mourn the path and be at peace that he is no longer in pain , and celebrate the years and moments that will in time be the first memories you have of him; it is what David would have wanted.

David Duane Nutter was born on October 7, 1949 in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, to Dwayne Ellsworth and Betty Nutter, as the first born child and had two younger brothers, Walter and Forrest. His life began good. He was an easy kid to raise, a rule follower and didn’t get into trouble, wearing his emotions on his sleeve and thoughtful of others around him. He had many friends and would chose band as his extracurricular activity for high school, playing the saxophone. He wasn’t one to have animals, but he did enjoy riding horses.

We pause and listen to In the Garden, a beautiful image of how he came into this world and lived many years of his life.

(Play 'In The Garden' by Alan Jackson)

Those that he loved, he found ways to show them, even if that was respecting a distance. His mother, his grandmother, his children, his friends. Whether he was active in your life or on the side lines, his love for you was passionate in his heart.

He had a knack for cleaning the kitchen better than his mom could. This must have built a bond because they became friends in is adult years, going on cruises, traveling together and going out with his friends, enjoying life. On many of David’s trips, he would return with a piece of jewelry or a trinket for her from the places he traveled when she wasn’t able to go.

He had a fondness for his grandmother Loretta that bonded them as well. She would visit him as often as she could, sometimes spending the winters here, and he would take her on boat rides, rides in Semi’s, including her in places he would go, bringing her little moments of delight.

After high school, David and a few friends would follow in his father’s footsteps and start selling insurance. It came to him naturally, the passion for what he put his mind to, and the rapport that he had with people would make this a thriving career.

He set out to get the foundation anchored for his adult life. Failure is not loosing, it is having a passion to go after what you want and adjusting to the things that aren’t supposed to fit, they are stepping stones to the path that leads to happiness.

David tried his hand at running a semi business but would realize after just a few years that his calling was the path he started out at, selling insurance. He was a man of integrity, trustworthy and had a way with people and establishing relationships that would better suit him in this field.

David also thought living in Albuquerque, New Mexico might be a place to venture into, but eventually found Arizona to be the best fit and moved here in 1973.

He did what everyone wants for their life and put his hand in marriage, and they tried their best, but after years of ups and downs, they choose to divorce. Not all was lost though, he was blessed with his two sons Chad and Tommy. No divorce is easy and many have long term impacts as this one would. There was a sadness that he had for the outcome. It didn’t make his love for his son’s any less, just distant.

And he was settled as well as could be in the good part of his life.

Stephen Covey has a quote that is a great reflection of David. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”

He was a very successful salesman. His rapport with people would establish long standing relationships with his clients in multiple states. To have such a successful business it takes a heart to take care of people; that was his drive. He wasn’t a morning bird or night owl, we was an all day person, working from 7 am to whenever the work was done. There was dedication that ran through his blood.

David didn’t limit himself to a specialty, he had a wide spectrum of services he offered, to the young just starting out, with insurance and long term investments goals to senior citizens, and the challenges and confusion that Medicare brings. This takes kindness and patience and commitment to stay involved in so many lives and know the details of those things that are so important to the clients well being. It wasn’t the products that built his clientele, it is who he was and how he made people feel that created his success.

The connection he had with his clients and insurance companies would be compensated with top salesman rewards and many trips, and he would take a plus one. He enjoyed people, they made him laugh, he was at his best when he was out living life and reaping the rewards of his good name.

Traveling was a significant part of his good life. The cruises and trips he earned, took him to the Bahamas, Tahiti, Canada, Brazil, and all the places that cruise ships go. His mother accompanied him on many of these cruises and they knew how to live it up. Once you go on a few cruises, and get the grove down, you discover they are nothing but fun, and they did just this, and enjoyed themselves to the fullest, living the party life that is available for the taking. David also made her a part of his fun and adventurous life, the many times that were full of friends, laughter, good times and a few adult beverages. Betty keeps with her the memories of these beautiful moments with her son.

When appropriate, David enjoyed his first choice of drink, a chocolate martini, other times, he would settle for a Diet Coke, typically having one or the other in his hand, balancing the two nicely. David knew how to work hard, and play hard. When he was meeting the needs of his clients, he didn’t stop until the day was done, and when he was with friends, he made the time count and the memories to last.

You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a fishing pole, which is pretty much the same thing. And David knew this. He had a love for fishing, and hunting, his time to sit back and relax. One can’t hurry up nature, you have to sit and wait. The great outdoors was a place for him to let down and let go. He owned his own boat, that can be both relaxing and fun, and four wheel vehicles that would take him on many outings that made all the back road trails very familiar to him.

He had some trophies, a Big Moose and big bear.

His life was full with his career, his personal well being, friends, and family. You could say he was living the dream.

And then a cross for him to bear would be upon him, Huntington’s disease. This was always a possibility with this genetic gene that is hereditary. His father passed from this dreadful disease, as well as his grandfather and is a high suspicion for the cause of his brother Walter’s young passing.

Although he ignored the inevitable, it came upon him.

His mother was very open about the suffering that was a part of his last years. The passion he had to live, he also had the same passion to no longer be living, he wanted it all to stop. This disease would not only slowly impact him physically but also in his thinking and rationality, and his emotional well being. He watched himself decline from a vibrant man living life to its fullest to it all being taken away. We will take a moment and listen to Alan Jackson sing the Old Rugged Cross and mourn that it was long and wearing. His passion still showed in the frustration that he expressed. The words talk of the emblem of suffering, one that David would come to know. It is a great countenance of the depth of expression that weighs upon the one that suffers. The cross he had to bear is not a pleasant one, and it is hard to see any love for this, as his trophies all had to be laid down, and the only thing we can cling to is hope that there is something better on the other side.

(Play 'Old Rugged Cross' by Alan Jackson)

In 2005, life would slow down and David’s world would become surrounded by care givers. He was a good patient that became friendships, learning to communicate through body language and eye contact.

There is a poem by an unknown author that says thank you so well.

Dearest Care Givers, Lamar and Arelia

What a miracle you do

What a role your life’s work plays

In difficulty you have courage

And a smiling face each day

For being there when others cant

You’re showing Heavens Love

Thank you for the caring

It comes from God above

Thanks for trust and gentleness

For assurance and compassion rare

The world would be lost without you,

Dear giver of love and care!

Lamar and Arelia, may you be blessed in your life for the care that was given to David, through your gift to him that would become friendships.

On his 70th birthday, his uncle Danny who he was very close to came to visit, to give him one last party.

On June 7th, the impact of this disease would take over his whole body, and he would stand at the bridge that takes us from one place to another. With one last look back, he would say his final goodbye and then in peace, knowing the pain would be over, he walked across the bridge and took his last breath.

As David is no longer among us, it calls for a sacred moment to stop, to reflect, to measure and to start finding places in your heart to put the memories that will last you a lifetime. May you take the stories of fun and laughter and love, of a dear son, family, friend or patient and go forward, pausing to look back with love, gratitude and tears until the sadness is overcome by smiling memories.

There are a few of you that would like to share. Please come forward or you are welcome to stay where you are seated.

(family and friends share their stories)

Today we heard the stories of David’s life, the type of music that he loved and have felt the passion of a wonderful man. You are the keepers of his stories, his exuberant strength, his gigantic heart for family and friends and his passion in the best and worst of times.

The extinguishing of the candle does not mean that David is gone, it is a reminder that his spirit lives on in each one of us, just in a different way.

(Allene blows out the candle)

May you take the memories you have of him with you and let them be happy ones, let them leave an afterglow of smiles now that his life is done. Let his voice be an echo whispering softly down the ways, of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days.

We will now accompany the family to the gravesite where David will be laid to rest.

Graveside:

And now, we meet under these sunny skies to place the body of David Duane Nutter to this hallowed ground and to dedicate this space to every beautiful and precious memory. We join the completeness of death with the uniqueness of human life in this simple ceremony of farewell.

Washington Irving said there is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief and unspeakable love. Accept your tears and expressions of loss. Accept the angels in human form who come along with a word, a hug or a memory to share. Help each other during those difficult times, the holidays, the anniversaries, the birthdays, the times when you will miss him the most.

In committing his body to this hallowed ground, we do so with deep reverence for the life of a unique and beloved personality. We place David’s body in the gentle earth which has been our chief support ever since human beings walked beneath the sun. To that good earth we now give back the body of our loved one and David will finally rest in peace.

As our time ends, we will play amazing grace. For David and his journey, who had to have been lost in the confusion of why me, why this disease, may there be revelation for him, may he see the sense of this very long and grueling journey he has had to endure.

As you leave today, you are welcome to come forward and put a flower on David’s casket, put your hand to your heart to mourn the suffering he endured and say your last farewell, and then smile for the memories you have of him and then leave a flower for the good times you had.

May you take the memory of David’s love and friendship with you, tuck it in a special place in your heart and never let him be forgotten. Honor his passion every day of your life. May you be touched by his determination, his generosity, love for family and friends and that he would want you to remember the joy, the laughter, and the smiles. Each time you are out enjoying the night, make a toast to David for the good times you shared. Take this into your spirit for today, tomorrow and always.

Our service has come to an end, please leave not in the sorrow of David’s suffering but in peace for the joy you shared with him.

(Play 'Amazing Grace' by Alan Jackson)

(Guests come forward and place a rose on the casket)