Terry Lynn Emler

Terry was born June 23, 1957 in Erie Pennsylvania, the second of four children to George and Lois Emler. She had one older brother Gary, and two younger brothers Jerry and Larry. When the children were young, the family relocated from Pennsylvania to Phoenix, Arizona. A proud graduate of Moon Valley High School, Terry went on to study hotel kitchen management and worked her way to running the kitchen at the Holiday Inn. It was working for this hotel chain that took her to New Mexico in the early eighties where she was blessed with her only daughter. She returned to Phoenix shortly after, where she continued her work as kitchen manager in hotels and chain restaurants for many years. One of her unfortunately unfulfilled dreams was to one day own and manage her own restaurant.

In addition to being a diligent worker and restaurant manager, Terry was also very creative and artistic. During her spare time she loved to paint and make all varieties of beadwork crafts. She was especially known for her long beaded strands in all sorts of vibrant colors and elaborate shapes and sizes. Terry loved cats and dogs and had many beloved pets over the years. Terry also loved to garden, and was blessed with a green thumb. Throughout her life, she built and maintained an elaborate backyard garden, usually with a small koi pond, to which she would rearrange and add new cacti and other types of flowers and plants to regularly. Even in Phoenix summer she was always able to keep her garden alive.

Terry is survived by her daughter Blythe Emler, her mother Lois Emler, her brothers Jerry and Larry Emler, sisters-in-law Kathy and Joan Emler, nephews Eric and Erin Emler, and many distant relatives and cousins. There will be a small celebration of her life on October 10th at 4:00 PM at Phoenix Memorial Park and Mortuary.

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Transcript of Terry's memorial service on October 10, 2020:

Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else. Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance. Love does not walk in shame and disrespect, or selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up.

Love will never become obsolete.

Good afternoon and welcome, I am Allene Cebe. As we have come together today to remember and express gratitude for the life of Terry Lynn Emler, it is an honor to be your funeral celebrant.

For the gift of a mother, a daughter, a sister, aunt, and friend, we are grateful. For the opportunity to capture fond memories and hold them tight in our souls, we are grateful.

My wish for all of you is that your grief will be a little lighter. While you have been saddened by Terry’s death, I hope you will be touched by how much she cared and her love for you.

We embrace the family today; her daughter Blythe, her brothers Jerry and Larry, and her extended family and friends. Our condolences go out to her mother Lois and all of family and friends who are unable to be with us today. May our presence and words strengthen and provide peace and comfort of the life that she lived.

How wonderful to see each one of you, thank you for being here. It is a sign of respect for who Terry was in your life, taking your time to stop and honor her distinctive place on this earth.

We know that things will no longer be the same. Terry, who was a significant part of your life, is now gone. Her spirit will now be silent, known only in your heart. We will honor this by lighting a candle as they are significant in our existence. We light them for quiet times of reflection, for balancing meditation, for special events, birthdays, and for holidays. There is something peaceful and magical about the light that reflects back into our souls.

As the candle is lit, let this light signify her ever-present love and presence which will always live on in your hearts. At the same time, let it symbolize the peace that within you must seek as you continue life without her.

As there are voids that Terry has left behind, we are thankful we can come and be with each other, because in doing so, although we have peace that Terry is now free from her struggles and pain, we find healing in sharing. Today we share an endearing inner joy that can be felt by everyone here.

We won’t extinguish the candle; we will let it continue to burn as you leave. May you take this light that was a part of each one of you, into you days, into your life.

(light candle)

We have gathered today because that’s what people do. Since the beginning of time, it has been part of healing, that we stop and acknowledge when someone important has left our lives. Today, we give honor to who Terry was and to begin to figure out what that loss means to those of you that are left behind. To establish the significance and unique aspects of her life lived. As Terry, who was such an important part of your lives, has left this earth, the need for a gathering place is even more necessary. It is in the stories and remembering her greatness that each one of you can find comfort and healing. So we gather today because that’s what people do.

We have gathered to remember the imprints of Terry that have made a special place in your hearts.

To remember those happy times when you laughed and those other times when your hearts broke as one.

So today let the memories lead you, if they bring a smile, smile, if they bring a tear, let it fall, for memories are priceless.

We have gathered to share the pain that Terry has left this earth, to cry when you cry and not try to hide or avoid your tears. For who can ever take away your pain?

We have gathered to give the gift of grief, to stand beside you and allow you the gift of grieving your loss. For grief is nature’s way of healing a broken heart.

When Terry passed she took a little piece of sunshine away with her. The world is a little bit dimmer without her here. Suddenly, the stars aren’t so bright, the moon isn’t so full, and the sun, not so warm.

She is now with those who have gone before her and you have a guardian angel watching over you.

You can look up at the sky and see her as the Little Prince tells us:

In one of the stars I shall be living.

In one of them I shall be laughing.

And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing,

when you look at the sky at night.

But here, there is a space

A death has occurred and everything is changed.

We are painfully aware that life can never be the same again,

That yesterday is over,

That relationships have now ended.

But there is another way to look upon this truth. If life now went on the same, without the presence of Terry, we could only conclude that her life we remember made no contribution, filled no space, meant nothing. The fact that Terry left behind a place that cannot be filled is a high tribute to her.

May you take your stories of the life you shared with her and go forward, pausing to look back with love, gratitude, and tears. There will come a day when you realize that although you miss her, your sadness has become a fondness of who she was in your life, a woman who loved deeply.

Who we are in life, we are born with it. Before coming into the world, being knitted in her mother’s womb was the gift of encouragement. To build others up, to inspire, to give courage. Our true personality shines in the midst of time, joy, triumphs and sorrow. It is a gift that we choose to give and bless the world, keep it to ourselves, or use it against humanity. Terry chose to live her life encouraging others.

One of the most beautiful gifts in the world is the ability to encourage. When someone encourages you, that person helps you over a threshold you might otherwise have never crossed on your own. For it isn’t what you do for people in life, it isn’t what you give them, they won’t remember those things. People will remember how you made them feel. Terry made all those around her feel that their feelings and thoughts mattered, that they mattered. She was unique, you will also remember the time that you spent with her, what she did for you, and what she gave of herself to do it. No matter how little she had, she gave what she could.

Color is a power and can speak to the soul in a thousand different ways.

Blue represents both the sky and the sea, and is associated with open spaces, freedom, imagination and inspiration. Blue can be strong and steadfast or light and friendly, it is no surprise that she liked this color.

Terry Lynn Emler came into this world on Sunday June 23, 1957 to Lois and George Emler in Eerie, Pennsylvania ; she was the 2nd child born of four and the only girl.

Her parents wanted all of their children’s names to rhyme, so there were the fabulous four: Gary, Terry, Jerry, and Larry.

Through our journey of this thing called life, we follow our paths. In the experiences and circumstances of those paths, they shape who we become, they define how we see life as good or bad, and determine how we respond and cope in all of those ways we do that journey.

Her mother was a talented musician and Terry spent hours sitting by her side, listening to her play the piano, and it is how Terry would go out in life, sitting and listening, creating her artwork and memories for those she loved.

Being the only girl, she was daddy’s little girl, could do no wrong; "no" was not a word used often in her world. She learned to go after what she wanted, make things happen and get things done, she persevered and did what she had to do. She was strong and independent, bright and excitable always wearing her emotions on her sleeve, often without filters, saying exactly what she felt.

Terry also had her fun time. If she was sitting at a red light, she waved to those around her like she knew them, chuckling when they waived back like they knew her too. Sometimes she liked to get into mischief like throwing sunflower seeds, and maybe they might land upon someone walking along the way, or feeding the monkeys at the zoo brownie balls, watching them scurry, always pretending to know nothing about such shenanigans.

She knew what it was like to have someone always there for her-- her dad, her greatest cheerleader. With her gift of encouragement, combined with her big heart, she paid this forward and helped those that crossed her path, even if it wasn’t the best for her, she still helped whoever came her way.

If you needed a listening ear, she was there. If you needed a bed to sleep in for the night, or a place to stay for a while, her door was open. "No" was not a word she used. If you needed someone to stand up for you, she would be right there, like a bull dog, all 5 foot 2" of her, with a look and a few (or many) words.

Terry discovered when she was young a way to make everything around her seem neat and tidy, she just shoved the “stuff” away in places nobody could see. She did this in her life, not wanting those around her to know of her struggles, to be burdened, so she kept them hidden from the world.

She was a good big sister. Even if she wandered, somehow she found her way back and remembered birthdays and liked to give t-shirts as gifts. She made memories, making fun of people, playing games and spending quality time together, always there to build them up when they needed encouragement.

When Terry was a young girl, her family moved to Arizona. It became her forever home. She did venture out to New Mexico for a few years, but Arizona, and her mother called her back.

Everything that Terry put her hand to, she gave it all she had, she climbed ladders, she found a direction and went, not letting anyone tell her what to do. In high school she played softball and won awards. Terry was beautiful inside and out and popular with lots of friends. She didn’t go to college, she chose to get educated through her experiences and taking what she learned and applying it to where she wanted to go.

After graduating from Moon Valley High School, Terry went to work for Kentucky Fried Chicken. While there, her dedication, ability to learn easily, her follow-through and her rapport with those she worked with showed her that she had what it took. She then went to work for Wendy’s where she made her way up to Assistant Manager. After leaving there, she went to Holiday Inn, working and overseeing the kitchen; this took her to New Mexico.

Terry was a dreamer, a doer, a thinker. She knew that possibility is everywhere.

She wanted to own her own restaurant one day, she wanted a child.

She became a mother. Blessed with Blythe in 1984, Terry dedicated herself to being her mom, whatever that would take, she wouldn’t take 'no' for an answer. She made her path and followed it, staying persistent in what she knew she wanted.

She met a man named Paul and they tried to make a marriage work but after a few years, Terry made the decision that it was not meant to be part of her dream.

Terry and Blythe made their way back to Arizona, often going back for the hot air balloon festivals. They would get up before the dawn and go watch a portion of the balloons going up in the dark as their flames lit up the sky.

Terry spent many years at Lasta Catering. She worked hard, always working and making sure that Blythe had food on the table and clothes on her back. Blythe often got to share the finer meals of her catering job, Terry putting out a spread for her that was fit for a queen.

Being a single mother is hard. No woman wants pity for this role, but respect for having the courage to do it and the strength to never give up for the love of her children.

Terry always had a craft area and there were hours spent there, painting with water colors, just the two of them, the world, nowhere to be found, Terry encouraging Blythe, telling her how one day she could be a famous musician. Terry may not have had her mother’s musical talent but she did pass it on to Blythe.

It takes a village to raise a child when you are a single mom, and Terry had her village-- her family who would always be there for her, to walk alongside her and be a part of raising Blythe.

Art speaks where words are unable to explain. Terry’s hands took her where her mind wandered.

The art of life is to live in the present moment and to make that moment as perfect as we can.

Terry had beautiful handwriting, she liked to doodle and paint with abstract color. She liked sceneries of Victorian houses with gardens. She painted many tiles with birds and flowers and often enjoyed the pleasure of adult coloring books.

She was known for the strands of beads she put together using vibrant colors, shapes and sizes, often selling them to people she knew. She was resourceful and knew how to use her talents to replenish her wallet.

Terry liked bling and color, hanging prism birds and sun catchers and beads in the windows that brought her joy from the sun. When Blythe was a little girl, Terry let her play with a sun catcher, putting the colors of the rainbow all around that complimented her colored jars, decorative bottles and miniature things. She liked A LOT of bling around her, always on the lookout for bling and things she thought Blythe might like.

She even liked her tea that came from sitting in the sun-- no sugar, just tea.

"A garden requires patient labor and attention. Plants do not grow merely to satisfy ambitions or to fulfill good intentions, they thrive because someone expended effort on them." ~ Liberty Hyde Bailey

Terry not only loved to garden, she was blessed with a green thumb, always keeping her elaborate garden alive. She spent hours nurturing cactus and succulents, putting much effort into the surrounding area with fountains and koi fish.

She nurtured her gardens like she nurtured relationships, those in her path and animals. She had compassion for the homeless and friends that found themselves in unfortunate places, and cats and dogs that made their way to her home. She always kept a towel with her, to bring home those stray cactus she found along her path, the ones that needed a new home.

She maintained her garden as everything grew. She didn’t plant and hope for the best, she planted with the intention that each one would thrive.

Janet Kilburn Phillips has a great quote about gardening that is also much like life: "There are no gardening mistakes, only experiments."

Life is built around thoughts that are hopeful for a great outcome. Not all thoughts survive though, some have the elements of Mother Nature that don’t come out the way we had hoped or planned.

Nobody is perfect and as we walk through the thing we call life, mistakes are made, could of, should of, would of’s are for all of us to own. If we look for the mistakes, we will find them…. If we look for the beauty, we will find it.

Terry Nurtured the best she knew how, she lived life the best she could, in spite of the things that she could of, would have, should have done, she helped, she loved, she lived.

Whether she understood it or not, it wasn’t how much time she spent with people and her garden that impacted life, it was the quality of time she spent encouraging them to grow.

Terry got all the knowledge she needed from working all aspects of the restaurant business. But sometimes, our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses. Terry’s encouragement and heart to help people became too much on her body, the impact of helping others and not saying no took its toll. Her heart started to give up, it couldn’t keep up with the elements of the hurdle in her path, she started to give up.

She had to give up her dream of owning her own restaurant, her heart wasn’t strong enough for what it would take. She became the helping hand to a disabled gentleman until his time on earth came to an end.

She could have made that dream come true if her heart could have been strong enough, but her big heart gave up, she couldn’t fight any longer.

September 18th, 2020 came and Terry would stand at the bridge that takes us from one place to another. In front of her was a beautiful place where there are no more tears, no more pain, no more hurdles and no more suffering, the old has gone away.

With one last look back, she would see she had love.

Admiring all those around her, she said her final goodbye. Knowing where she was going, she walked across the bridge and took her last breath here on this earth and went to sleep for the last time, peacefully.

Those we love do not go away they walk beside us every day, Unseen, Unheard but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear.

We will pause to listen to the song 'Gypsy.' The music of Fleetwood Mac spoke to Terry’s soul and this was one of her favorite songs. The lyrics are of memories to where Stevie Nicks had been, the things that she had done, and who she is. The words say that she is dancing away from you now, and all that remains are memories. Always remember that Terry had her story of where she had been and the things she had done, and in it she loved, she cared, and she had her struggles as all of us do.

A rose has a stem that holds the rose and leaves that add to the beauty. And thorns. We don’t see the inside. It is the backbone, the heart and soul of the flower. At first glance, we see the beauty of the rose. There are thorns on every stem that hide within the leaves, and when we pick it up, the thorns can poke us. So we can see that in order to enjoy the beauty, we also have to see the thorns and be careful how we handle it.

Today we have the death of this rose, Terry, an empty space in the lives of many. As it is for each of us, when we look back at the memories, it will be better to look at the beauty and the leaves and not pick it up to look closely, and stay away from the thorns. In time... may grace replace the thorns, where the flower and its leaves will be the only things that remain?

(Play 'Gypsy')

As Terry is no longer among us, it calls for a sacred moment to stop, to reflect, to measure and to start finding places in your heart to put the memories that will last you a lifetime.

If you would like to share, please come forward or you are welcome to stay where you are seated.

(speakers share memories)

Today we heard the stories of Terry’s life, music that expressed what life is, and have felt the love of a deeply caring woman. You are the keepers of her stories, your time with her, her gigantic heart for family, animals, those that needed a helping hand and friends, and her care in the best and worst of times.

There are words that speak of Terry’s life here on earth and now that she is gone.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glint on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awake in the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circling flight.

In times of darkness, see her love...

In times of silence, hear her unspoken love...

In times of doubt, remember her encouraging words...

And In times of sorrow, be comforted that she loved you...

Washington Irving said, there is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief... and unspeakable love. Accept your tears and expressions of loss. Accept the angels in human form who come along with a word, a hug or a memory to share. Help each other during those difficult times, the holidays, the anniversaries, the birthdays, and the times when you will miss her the most.

May we all understand that the journey of grief is long, and each person finds what helps them along the way to get them through the next hour, the next day, the next week. May you be kind and forgiving with yourself and each other, remember to offer hugs, help and I love yous every chance you get.

May you understand that tears are memories in motion and there is no better way to express your grief than through those sacred moments of crying. May you find your own special way to honor Terry’s life, hear her voice and claim her spirit in your heart while being grateful each day for her life and love.

As you leave today, please take the memory of Terry with you, tuck it in a special place in your heart and never let her be forgotten. May you be touched by her gentleness, her care, and love for her family and friends and that she would want you to remember the joy, the laughter, and the smiles. Take this into your spirit for today, tomorrow and always. You are welcome to come forward and put a flower next to Terry, put your hand to your heart to mourn the empty place in your life, and say your last farewell, leaving a flower for the precious times you had.

I wish this old Irish Blessing to be upon you…. May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours wherever you may roam. May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures. May all life’s passing seasons bring the best to you and yours.

Our time together has now come to an end. In parting, please take the memory of Terry and press it into your hearts that she would want you to dream, and to always remember you have the strength within to reach for the stars.