Cornelius F. Cash

Cornelius F. Cash, 72, of Stony Brook, NY on August 4, 2012. Occupational Therapist and Electrical Engineer. Beloved husband of Jane. Loving father of Peter (Lisa), Barbara (Rony) Haik, and Andrew (Deborah). Cherished grandfather of Nathaniel Cash, Katherine Cash, Meredith Cash, Sarina Haik, Talia Haik, Ayla Haik, Hazel Cash and Dasi Cash. Dear brother of John, Joan and the late James. In Lieu of flowers, in his memory please make donations to: The North Shore Pro Musica, P.O. Box 562, Setauket, NY 11733 www.northshorepromusica.org or to the Peconic Land Trust, P.O. Box 1776, Southampton, NY 11969 www.peconiclandtrust.org

I wanted to tell you a few things about Neil and our life together, We met 55 years ago outside a pool hall throwing bagels at each other: We were introduced by some best friends of ours, Neil's friend Arny told him that I wasn't pretty but I had a good personality and Rebecca, my friend, told Arny I needed a date for my sweet 16,

We were an unlikely couple. He was blond haired, blue eyed child of Roman parents who came over from Ireland. I am the child of American born parents of Jewish, Catholic, Russian, Hungarian, Irish, Scotch - a Heinz 57. He was 17 and I was 15. A friendship started those 55 years ago which blossomed into a love relationship which lasted until a few days ago.

As teenagers we spent hours on the phone. People would bang on the doors of the pay phone.Yes there was such a thing then, until Neil finally finished talking to me. My parents got me my own phone since they got sick of me monopolizing the phone. I can't imagine what we found to talk about.

Neil went to RCA Institutes and I went to City College. We would meet at the IND and Jerome Avenue Elevated interchange and have coffee together. I was getting A's and he was getting 20's on his calculus and math exams, but somehow we both graduated.

We were supposed to move to Massachusetts whwre he got his first job and even sent our $500 complete bedroom set from Macy's up to Woburn. Neil lost his job and returned to NYC whwre we married and set up house in Highbridge where Neil grew up. Wow, we were living in style each making $95 a week and paying $88 a month for rent. We bought our first car, a studebaker for $2100.

In 1965, we had our first child, Peter at the ancient ages of 23 and 25. I stayed at home for a while and Neil became progressively successful in the field of electrical engineering and got into management. We moved to a new, terraced apartment overlooking the Harlem River for the exhorbitant sum of $150 and, Barbara our second child was born in 1967.

We moved in 1967 from the multicultural, multiracial Bronx to a new house in Coram where everyone was white and Christian and people holed up in their houses from the first day under 40 degrees until the tulips came up. What a bummer!!

We adjusted and found some like minded people. Andrew was born in 1970. We formed a progressive dinner group where each couple made a different part of the meal. Neil became more involved with cooking and wine. Thank goodness because I was sick of cooking, and he started to take over more of that responsibility . In 1973 ,I went back to Graduate School . As if I needed permission,.Neil said it was OK, as long as nothing changed.

Well of course everything did change but mostly for the better. Neil started taking over more responsibility for the children. He became more involved with the children and they came to know hiim better. We started our famous trips out west. Neil equipped a brand new 1967 Volkswagon van as a camper and we all piled into it. As we we went around the first corner everything slid out and crashed to the door but we kept going, Rocky Mountain National Park, Grand Canyon, Mesa Verde, and Yellowstone,.

We really got to know each other,singing our way across country. Slept at rest stops and ate with the truckers. Neil had never camped before we met ,but he became the biggest fan of camping life ,climbing Mountains and making noise to scare away the bears and living insects. Neil was a masquito magnet. I don't need bug spray. I just stood next to him and he took all the hits.

In 1968, Neil and I were on a back-packing trip in the Adirondacks. I was whining about my sore feet. In the process of making tea for me, Neil set himself on fire with the camp stove. He suffered second degree burns to his arm and face and had to walk almost 2 hours out of the woods to an ambulance. His subsequent treatment at Mather Hospital by a therapist inspired him to go into that field. His treatment by EMT's started my career as a Nurse and an EMT.

Neil was highly successful in his career in Electrical Engineering and became the Senior Vice-President in Circuit Technology. Unfortunately, his expertise in management skills didn't help when an English Firm took over the company and wiped out the staff. Neil was the last to be laid off. The company fell apart after that.

Neil had a decision to make. Either try to compete with 25 year olds or start something different.

At 50 years old, he took the SAT's for the first time. When he sat down at the desk at Ward Melville HS to write the exam, the students thought he was the proctor. He got 650 on the Math and the same on the English. That was better then I got when I took the first SAT Exam out of High School. He went to Suffolk Community College for the basics and then to Touro College for a Bachelors and a Masters Degree. After a year working at the Bronx VA with Quadraplegic Vets, he went to work as a therapist at Southampton Hospital and eventually became the Deparment Head.

In the mid-nineties, he started Hand and Occupational Therapy for the treatment of traumatic hand injuries. He spent the last years of his life doing what he loved the most, helping people regain the use of their hands after illness or surgery. He has a reputation as the "go to guy" frrom Montauk to New York City. He felt really fulfilled in this role and enjoyed teaching kinesiology and hand therapy at Touro College where he is a favorite teacher. The Irishman was teaching at the Orthodox Jewish School! Many of the hand therapists on Long Island are his students.

Of course, being a husband, father, and a grandfather were his most importrant roles. Just before he became acutely ill, he told me that he did not have a bucket list. That he had done everything in life that he wanted to do.

He had 7 months of chemo, surgery and hardly being able to eat or drink. He had excellent care but the cancer won out in the end.

One of his physycians called him a hero. He certainly was a hero. He chose to die on his own terms by pulling out his own endotracheal tube. A supreme act of courage! He did it this way to the very end.

I will miss him every day of my life but we had a great life together and many amazing children, grandchildren, relatives and friends, Thank You all for being here and sharing his parting with us.