OBITUARY

Frank Alfano

November 7, 1919March 4, 2018
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Frank Alfano – 98 years young of Mt. Sinai, NY, on March 4, 2018.

Remembering Frank brings thoughts of a man who was a blessing to his family, and also a blessing to anyone whom he came in contact with.

Frank Alfano was born on November 7th, 1919 in his home on Extra Place in New York City. He was the son of Salvatore and Maria Farrauto Alfano. He was a father, a grandfather, a husband, a brother, an uncle, a cousin, a friend, and a proud WWII Veteran.

Frank, or “Frankie,“ lived the earlier years of his life living in a cold water flat in New York City with his parents and his sister Anna. He was adored by his parents and relatives. Frankie was only 11 years old when his mother passed away, and his extended Italian Family quickly adopted him and looked after him, his father, and his sister.

Frankie enjoyed his childhood in the streets of NYC where he played stickball in the street, worked at his uncle's mechanics shop and attended school. Frankie left the streets of Manhattan to serve in WWII in 1943, and he did so with extreme pride and love for his country. In the army he held several jobs, one as a tire rebuilder and a technician. He was awarded the WWII Victory Medal, a Good Conduct Medal, the American Campaign Medal, the Asiatic Pacific Campaign Medal, and the European African Middle Eastern Campaign Medal.

Frankie valued education his entire life and had a natural mathematical mind, however, Frankie had never dreamed he could go to college. When he returned from the war, money was tight, and he knew he could not afford it. It was a complete surprise to him to learn that his father, Salvatore, had saved his hard earned money for many, many years and put it aside for Frankie to go to college. Salvatore simply pulled Frankie aside one day, asked him to hold out his hand, and placed all the cash he had saved for this day in Frankies hand and said in Italian, “this is for my boy, to go to get the education he deserves." Frankie got his engineering degree at American University in Washington DC. His father was extremely proud of him, as he was the first member of the family to complete a college education. His expertise was in estimating and engineering, figuring jobs for large corporations. His biggest pride and joy was the part he and his company played in building the World Trade Center. When most people would rush to retire at the age of 65, Frankie remained active in his field consulting for local contractors right up until he was 87 years old. “The mind must remain active” and "a person should be productive as long he can be” were words we heard often from him.

Frankie's life changed when he met his wife, Margaret, who literally was “the girl next door” and went on to raise four children - Sal, Peter, Maria and Anne. He was an outstanding family man, a real provider, giver and teacher. Frank and Margaret were married for 54 years until her passing in 2006. Sal, Peter and Maria were raised in Jamaica, Queens where they were surrounded by their strong, Italian family. When it appeared that a better life for their children awaited them on Long Island, they moved to Huntington, and built a home on the land long owned by Margaret’s family. It was there that their fourth child, Anne, was born.

After many enjoyable years in Huntington, the family relocated to Mount Sinai, NY, and took their place in the “house on the hill.” It was there that Frankie lived until he was 88 years old. He then spent the next years living comfortably at the home of his youngest daughter Anne, her husband Steve, and grandson Dan.

Frankie found enjoyment in many things. He bowled frequently, sang in the Knights of Columbus Choir, was devoted to his church, attended his senior club regularly to play poker with his buddies, and always looked forward to his plate of spaghetti that Margaret would faithfully have prepared for him every Thursday and Sunday. He loved to tinker and repair things, and was always on hand to teach a thing or two to anyone who was willing to learn. He loved to tell (and laugh at) his own jokes, often having difficulty finishing the joke because he would laugh prior to the punch line...

Frankie was extremely proud of his children, their spouses, and his grandchildren....and his children are completely grateful to him for the parenting gifts he gave to them. It was from both Frankie and Margaret that the Alfano children learned to be givers and not takers, to have grateful hearts, and to live their lives according to God's word. He was always there to teach them, whether it be how to build a go-kart from discarded lawn mower parts, or how to tackle a difficult life situation. He not only read his bible daily, but he lived the word of God each day of his life.

Frankie is survived by his children, Sal, Peter, Maria and Anne, their spouses, Michelle, Donna, Jimmy and Steve, eight grandchildren, Daniel, Veronica, John, Lauren, Bryan, Paul, Josh and Samuel, great grand daughters Samarra and Anysia, and great grandsons Calvin and Ian. His spirit of love lives on in them, and that spirit will always keep him connected to his family. We will forever remain blessed for having him in our lives. He is a perfect example of a life well lived.

Reposing at O.B. Davis Funeral Homes, 4839 Nesconset Highway, Port Jefferson Station, NY on Friday, from 2-4:30 p.m. & 7-9 p.m. Funeral Mass, 10 a.m. Saturday at Infant Jesus Chapel at St. Charles Hospital, Port Jefferson, NY. Interment to follow at Sea View Cemetery, Mt. Sinai, NY.

Services

  • Visitation Friday, March 9, 2018
  • Visitation Friday, March 9, 2018
  • Funeral Mass Saturday, March 10, 2018
  • Interment Saturday, March 10, 2018
REMEMBERING

Frank Alfano

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Biography

We are proud of our grandfather!
By Veronica Welsh Auletta

Frank Alfano, (98 years young), was the embodiment of the American Dream: the son of Sicilian immigrants; grew up poor in the Bowery; fought for the US Army in World War II in France and Germany; attended American University on the GI Bill; married the literal girl next door; had four children; moved the family out to Long Island in the 1960s; and made sure that he provided his children with a better life than he could ever have imagined. He lived a great life, and we are proud of him.


God is Love.
By Peter Alfano
We’ve been taught that since we were little kids. My dad lived a life of love. But what is love? We read in 1 Corinthians 13:1-8 that description of love as God meant it to be. Love is patient, love is kind, love doesn’t boast and so on. Some of you would like to live this kind of love. So how can you do that? By taking out the word “love” and putting your own name in it’s place. So… Peter is patient, Peter is kind, Peter doesn’t boast… Peter never fails.
If you do that, you will live the life of love that God wants us to live.
And that’s how it should be.
1 Corinthians 13:1-8
If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass.


Peter Alfano’s Letter to his father.

I am here today to honor my father. We all know from the 10 commandments that we should honor our father and mother… We also see in the book of Proverbs chapter 4 verse one where it says: “Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.”
Throughout my life, especially growing up, there were times when I did not listen to dad’s wisdom and later on wished I had. As I got older, I saw the value of having that wisdom as Donna and I raised our own kids. One of the wisest things I’ll always remember him doing however, was that he read his bible every day. As I have tried to do this daily reading in my own life as he did, I have gleaned much wisdom from the words of Jesus, the apostles and the prophets of old. It’s called the Good Book for a reason. To have a basic understanding of the God who created you and me is a good start. But to have a deeper understanding of who He is and how he desires for us to live our lives, was only something that came from regular reading and learning from God’s word as he has put it forth in the Bible.
Romans 1:21 says: “For although they knew God, they neither glorified Him as God nor gave thanks to Him, but their thinking became futile and their foolish hearts were darkened.”
I can see in my past the foolish of my life. Can’t we all as we look back on ourselves? But with regular reading and learning from God’s word, and adding to that listening to Godly men, I have grown in the wisdom that God and my dad wanted me to have. Have I arrived at being most wise? I am not even close but am enjoying the journey of growth. My dad did the same- enjoying his Bible readings as he grew in wisdom and knowledge of the Lord. He read in Acts 17:31 where God will ultimately judge the world in righteousness. And he also read in the gospel of St. John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that He gave his only Son (Jesus) that whoever believes on Him should not die but have everlasting life.”
So as we lay my dad to rest, there will always be one thing I will remember about him until MY last breath. And that is to be in God’s word every day, so I too can taste and see the goodness of the Lord. It is good to know God well so I can serve Him well with the life He has given me.
I encourage you too to read your Bible. The Gospel of St. John and then the book of Romans are great places to start. A chapter a day will have you on your way. You won’t be disappointed. Thanks dad.

Miss Me, But Let Me Go!

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared.
Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It’s all part of the Master’s plan,
A step on the road to Home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing a good deed,
Miss me, but let me go!

---Author UnKnown


A Good Man
Frank Alfano was a good man
My father was born in 1919 and died on March 4th. He was 98.
When people are told that someone’s parent has died, the first thing most ask — and nearly everyone wonders — is, “How was old was he/she?” This is completely understandable. But it needs to be analyzed.
The age of the deceased matters only if one is assessing whether the death was a tragedy. Clearly, death at age 98 is not a tragedy. Moreover, my father was healthy for almost all of those years.
All that notwithstanding, however, the age at which a parent dies is irrelevant regarding the hole left. All the emotional preparation in the world cannot sufficiently brace us for the stark reality of goodbye. In fact, one might legitimately argue that the more years a person has had with his or her parent, the bigger the hole.
He loved his family. He was faithful to his wife. He served his country in the armed services in WW2. He was an excellent dad and grandfather. He was a friend. He was a remarkable engineer.
But Dad’s good life and good deeds were not enough to assure him a place in heaven.
Frank himself read his bible every day and would have been the first to tell you that!
These were some of the words from the Bible that he read: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23) and “the wages of sin is death” (Rom. 6:23)
Frank’s final and eternal destination in life’s journey was not determined by whether he lived a really good life but entirely by Jesus dying in his place to pay sin’s penalty.
He read in his Bible that each of us must personally accept the free gift of God, which is “eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Rom. 6:23). My dad was a good man, but he could never be “good enough.”
And neither can we.
It is only by grace that we can be saved through faith.
And that has absolutely nothing to do with our human efforts.
Ephesians 2:8 tells us that “By grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God.”
What is grace? Simply put it is being given something you did not earn.
We are not saved by good works, but by God’s work.
As with any death of a loved one, the cold emptiness of that moment encases our family in sadness.
Feelings are frozen. At times, it seems our only comfort is numbness.
Relief does not seem imaginable.
My heart has a vacancy sign hung on its door.
Thankfully, the Apostle Paul tells us that our bodies are not an eternal reality. This is what he wrote to the church at Corinth
For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. (2 Cor. 5:1)
To paraphrase the words of C.S. Lewis, “You don’t have a soul. You are a soul. You have a body.”
Bill Gilham said this when preaching about our earthly tent: In space you need a spacesuit; on earth you need an earth suit.
The opposite of God’s design for our bodies is held by atheists.
It is best summed by that famous cartoon philosopher Dilbert: People are just fish plus time.
Soon our family members will stand quietly at the graveside of my mother, waiting for the private family burial of my father’s earth suit to begin. As with my mom’s passing, my heart will feel numb and my head will be in a fog. How can I handle losing them both? In my grief I feel loss and loneliness.
But, I remember reading about another graveside. On the first day of the week, early in the morning, women went to Jesus’ tomb, carrying spices for His body (Matt. 28:1; Luke 24:1). There they were startled to find an open and empty tomb—and an angel. “Do not be afraid,” he said to them (Matt. 28:5). They didn’t need to be afraid of the empty tomb or of the angel, because he had good news for them.
Hope stirred when I heard the next words: “He is not here; for He is risen, as He said” (v.6). Because Jesus had come back to life, death had been conquered! Jesus reminded His followers just a few days before His death: “Because I live, you will live also” (John 14:19).
Even though we grieve at the loss of our loved ones, we find hope through the resurrection of Jesus and His promise that there is life after death. For my dad death was the last shadow before heaven’s dawn.

It is time to leave you, Dad. From me and Pete and Maria and Anne and from Michele and Donna and Jimmy and Steve and all the grandkids and great grandkids.
Arrivederci, Dad. You did well.



AN INTERVIEW WITH GRANDPA FRANK ALFANO ON HIS 98th BIRTHDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2017.

What are some of the most important lessons you feel you have learned over the course of your life?

Do Good
Share
Be Good
Be Helpful

Some people say that they have had difficult or stressful experiences but they have learned important lessons from them. Is that true for you?

No

Can you give examples of what you learned from those experiences?

Be Sincere and Helpful

As you look back over your life, do you see any “turning points”; that is, a key event or experience that changed over the course of your life or set you on a different track?

Not really, I’m satisfied

What’s the secret to a happy marriage?

Share your feelings.
Don’t be secretive
Show lots of love.
What are some of the important choices or decisions you made that you have learned from?

Going to college.
Caring for Grandpa

What would you say you know now about living a happy and successful life that you didn’t know when you were twenty?

Be content and satisfied with most of your decisions and accomplishments and with what you have

What would you say are the major values or principles that you live by?
Add your own!

Pray and do the right thing that will help you and others.

Whats the biggest trouble you ever got in?
None that I recall

What did you do after high school?
College




How did you meet Grandma?

Next door
After many many years
Too busy
She lasooed me, HA! HA!

How did you know that Grandma was the one you wanted to marry and spend the rest of your life with?

She appealed to me in all her appearance and undertakings.
She was “SAVVY”
AND GOOD LOOKING!!! HA! HA!

What do you remember about your wedding day?

The waiter removed my meal no knowing I didn’t finish it.

What was your daughter Anne like as a child?

A Saint and a crybaby.
I mean that sincerely. Much love
What are you most proud of your daughter Anne for?

Always comforted me in all my happen stances. Shows much love and caring.

What was Aunt Maria like as a child?

Beautiful

What are you most proud of Aunt Maria for?

She was always there when I needed help.

What was your son Peter Like as a child?

Rambunctious
And lovable

What are you most proud of your son Peter for?

His understandings and undertakings, very helpful, shows love


What was your son Sal like as a child?
Savvy

What are you most proud of your son Sal for?
His activities and undertakings & knowledge & accomplishments & intelligence

What was the hardest part about being a parent for you?

Settling petty arguments

What was your favorite part about being a parent?

Watching them grow up. Becoming successful in their careers. Loving Them.

What was your most favorite vacation?

Attending Copake Country Club

What are you most proud of?

Having wonderful children

What world events had the most impact on you?

World Trade Center

What school activities and sports did you participate in?
Track

What was school like for you as a child?
Uh!! Um!!! SO SO

What were your best and worst subjects?
Best – Geometry
Worst - French

Who were your friends when you were growing up?

All nationalities. Mostly Jewish.

How did your experience in the military mold you as a person?

No Change


What are you most proud of?

To be where I am today. Wonderful family

What life advice would you pass along to your grandchildren?
Be good, do good, stay good, be helpful

What was your first job?

Golf Caddying

What was your favorite job?

Concrete estimator

What do you want to be remembered for?

Good works and deeds.

What was the apartment like that you grew up in?
Cold
Coal Stove
What was the neighborhood like that you grew up in?
Pleasant & nice. Mostly Jewish.
What is the most amazing thing you have seen in your lifetime? Why did that stand out?
Building of the Empire State Building. Tall Structure.
What made you decide on the profession you chose?
Concrete estimator – Happen Stance
Did you have any financial struggles along the way? If so, how did you manage through them?
Yes – hard work. Held two jobs. Supported Grandpa.
What activities have you found most enjoyable through the years?
Golf
Is there anything you regret or wish you had a chance to change?
Not really. Too minor to speak of.
Who have been the people that influenced you the most and why?
My Uncle Sam. Only person who spoke English well, and watched my every move and gave me lots of support and advice.


What is one piece of advice you would give someone who is searching for direction in life?
Do good and stick to your ambitions and undertakings. “Pray”
Is there anything else you would like to add?
Hope my mother was alive to watch my every movement in life. Too personal to reveal my feelings. Sad.
As your grandchildren enter a world much different then the one you grew up in, what advice do you have for them?
Do what your heart desires. Make Sure it is the right way.
DO GOOD
Show love & understanding.





Frank Alfano – 98 years young of Mt. Sinai, NY, on March 4, 2018.

Remembering Frank brings thoughts of a man who was a blessing to his family, and also a blessing to anyone whom he came in contact with.

Frank Alfano was born on November 7th, 1919 in his home on Extra Place in New York City. He was the son of Salvatore and Maria Farrauto Alfano. He was a father, a grandfather, a husband, a brother, an uncle, a cousin, a friend, and a proud WWII Veteran.

Frank, or “Frankie,“ lived the earlier years of his life living in a cold water flat in New York City with his parents and his sister Anna. He was adored by his parents and relatives. Frankie was only 11 years old when his mother passed away, and his extended Italian Family quickly adopted him and looked after him, his father, and his sister.

Frankie enjoyed his childhood in the streets of NYC where he played stickball in the street, worked at his uncle's mechanics shop and attended school. Frankie left the streets of Manhattan to serve in WWII in 1943, and he did so with extreme pride and love for his country. In the army he held several jobs, one as a tire rebuilder and a technician. He was awarded the WWII Victory Medal, a Good Conduct Medal, the American Campaign Medal, the Asiatic Pacific Campaign Medal, and the European African Middle Eastern Campaign Medal.

Frankie valued education his entire life and had a natural mathematical mind, however, Frankie had never dreamed he could go to college. When he returned from the war, money was tight, and he knew he could not afford it. It was a complete surprise to him to learn that his father, Salvatore, had saved his hard earned money for many, many years and put it aside for Frankie to go to college. Salvatore simply pulled Frankie aside one day, asked him to hold out his hand, and placed all the cash he had saved for this day in Frankies hand and said in Italian, “this is for my boy, to go to get the education he deserves."
Frankie got his engineering degree at American University in Washington DC. His father was extremely proud of him, as he was the first member of the family to complete a college education.
His expertise was in estimating and engineering, figuring jobs for large corporations. His biggest pride and joy was the part he and his company played in building the World Trade Center. When most people would rush to retire at the age of 65, Frankie remained active in his field consulting for local contractors right up until he was 87 years old. “The mind must remain active” and "a person should be productive as long he can be” were words we heard often from him.

Frankie's life changed when he met his wife, Margaret, who literally was “the girl next door” and went on to raise four children - Sal, Peter, Maria and Anne. He was an outstanding family man, a real provider, giver and teacher. Frank and Margaret were married for 54 years until her passing in 2006.
Sal, Peter and Maria were raised in Jamaica, Queens where they were surrounded by their strong, Italian family. When it appeared that a better life for their children awaited them on Long Island, they moved to Huntington, and built a home on the land long owned by Margaret’s family. It was there that their fourth child, Anne, was born.

After many enjoyable years in Huntington, the family relocated to Mount Sinai, NY, and took their place in the “house on the hill.” It was there that Frankie lived until he was 88 years old. He then spent the next years living comfortably at the home of his youngest daughter Anne, her husband Steve, and grandson Dan.

Frankie found enjoyment in many things. He bowled frequently, sang in the Knights of Columbus Choir, was devoted to his church, attended his senior club regularly to play poker with his buddies, and always looked forward to his plate of spaghetti that Margaret would faithfully have prepared for him every Thursday and Sunday. He loved to tinker and repair things, and was always on hand to teach a thing or two to anyone who was willing to learn. He loved to tell (and laugh at) his own jokes, often having difficulty finishing the joke because he would laugh prior to the punch line...

Frankie was extremely proud of his children, their spouses, and his grandchildren....and his children are completely grateful to him for the parenting gifts he gave to them. It was from both Frankie and Margaret that the Alfano children learned to be givers and not takers, to have grateful hearts, and to live their lives according to God's word. He was always there to teach them, whether it be how to build a go-kart from discarded lawn mower parts, or how to tackle a difficult life situation. He not only read his bible daily, but he lived the word of God each day of his life.

Frankie is survived by his children, Sal, Peter, Maria and Anne, their spouses, Michelle, Donna, Jimmy and Steve, eight grandchildren, Daniel, Veronica, John, Lauren, Bryan, Paul, Josh and Samuel, great grand daughters Samarra and Anysia, and great grandsons Calvin and Ian. His spirit of love lives on in them, and that spirit will always keep him connected to his family.
We will forever remain blessed for having him in our lives. He is a perfect example of a life well lived.

Reposing at O.B. Davis Funeral Homes, 4839 Nesconset Highway, Port Jefferson Station, NY on Friday, from 2-4:30 p.m. & 7-9 p.m. Funeral Mass, 10 a.m. Saturday at Infant Jesus Chapel at St. Charles Hospital, Port Jefferson, NY. Interment to follow at Sea View Cemetery, Mt. Sinai, NY.