Carmen "Joy" Gloria Flaxel

Born in Denver, Colorado, on June 12, 1935, to Frank and Gaetana Merelli, Joy was raised in a loving environment by a large Italian family that instilled in her a lifelong appreciation for connection and community. Her family owned and operated a ballroom diner and nightclub in Denver, which became a central part of her upbringing and undoubtedly fueled her lively social spirit and her love for getting together. She often shared stories of working as a coat check girl, claiming it taught her the value of a smile and the joy of giving (and receiving) generous tips.

Joy pursued her education at Colorado State University, where she met her first husband, Bill Gardner. Together, they moved to John Day, Oregon, to build their family. They had two wonderful children, Christina and Bill. Sadly, Joy became a young widow when Bill passed away unexpectedly. Yet, even in the face of such a deep loss, Joy demonstrated incredible resilience, relocating to Portland to continue her studies and caring for her two young children.

In Portland, Joy’s life took a turn when she met John Thad Flaxel, a young medical student, on a blind date. It was love at first sight, and they got married just three months later! Their marriage was one filled with deep affection and partnership. John and Joy had four children-Kathy, Teresa, Gina and Johnny. While John completed medical school, the growing family lived in Chicago, Atlanta and Portland, Oregon, before eventually settling in North Bend, Oregon. Together they built a life filled with love and adventure, embracing the joyful chaos of raising their six children. They were inseparable and known for their enduring bond that lasted over 60 years, holding hands until the very end of John’s life in 2023.

Joy’s Catholic faith guided her life and inspired those around her. She attended church faithfully, even while traveling, and served as an inspiring role model for her children and grandchildren through her devotion, positivity, and generosity of spirit. She thanked God every day and always talked about how blessed she was in her life. She could not have asked for anything more.

A woman of many passions, Joy embraced life with enthusiasm and warmth. Family and friends were always at the center of Joy’s life. She was happiest when all her children and grandchildren were around, the more the merrier. She loved being social and cherished time spent with friends over coffee, a gin and tonic at happy hour, playing bridge, and cheering on the Oregon Ducks and Portland Trail Blazers. Her unwavering positivity, the Italian bred fiery spirit, and radiant smile left an indelible mark on all.

Joy is survived by her six children, eleven grandchildren, five great-grandchildren, and her dog, Snow.

Her legacy is one of love—for her family, her faith, her friends, sports, pasta, and her dogs!

She will be deeply missed and fondly remembered.

May her memory bring comfort to all who knew her.

Memorial service is at Saint Michael the Archangel Catholic Church, 424 SW Mill St., Portland on June 12th at 10am.

Celebration Of Life for Joy & John Flaxel will be held in North Bend, Oregon at the Wildflour Pub on June 16th at 4pm-7pm.