Kathryn Irene Qualheim

Kathryn was born in Fargo, North Dakota to H. Gilmar Dokken and A. Sophie Dokken on April 27, 1923. Kay had one sister, Gladys. Kay married Bud Qualheim on July 7, 1946 in Grand Forks, North Dakota. Their marriage lasted over 68 wonderful years. Bud passed on April 6, 2015 and Kay passed on June 5, 2022. Bud and Kay had 4 children: Roger (Catherine), David (Theresa), Jan Cumming (Kent), and Joni Pokorny (Mark). Kay is survived by 12 grandchildren and 18 Great Grandchildren. A lifelong Lutheran, Kay was a founding member and attended Gethsemane Lutheran Church for over 55 years. Kay loved to sing and was proud to say that she sang in the choir of every church where she was a member. Memorials can be sent to Snow Cap or Lutheran World Relief.

Check Lincoln Memorial’s website for a more complete obituary.

Kay grew up in Esmond and Grand Forks, North Dakota. She spoke often about the musical talents she was exposed to while living in Esmond. She participated in musicals in high school. Kay played the violin as a girl and piano and organ well into her 90s. Kay loved to sing and she directed the children’s choir and senior choir at Gethsemane. She sang in the Church choir until she was 97.

She helped her parents deliver milk from their Hillside Pioneer Dairy when she was a young girl. Her mother, Sophie, made most of the clothes that she and her sister wore. Kay followed the tradition making clothes for her daughters and others. For their 40th anniversary Kay made matching outfits for the grandchildren. Those outfits continue to be a topic of conversation amongst the grandchildren.

In her 70’s she became efficient in Hardander embroidery, a meticulously detailed Scandinavian craft. Kay and her friend Jo Nelson made the Hardanger altar cloth for Gethsemane Lutheran Church. It was a labor of love, done for the Glory of God.

Kay was the perfect example of the 1950’s housewife. She loved to cook and bake, her spring-cleaning rituals included washing the walls, knickknacks, light fixtures and she was devoted to Bud. A mere twitch of his little finger and she refilled his coffee cup. Bud once told me that they had the perfect marriage, and he meant it. The closest we ever heard them come to an argument was handled with, “We will talk about that later.” Their four children were born between 1947 and 1957. Bud built the house that they lived in from 1952 until mom’s passing.

They became huge Blazer fans and Kay followed them through this last season. For the last seven years Kay would call her friends Jo Nelson and Virginia Haacke every night to talk about the Blazers and see how their day had been. Boating was another favorite pastime. Kay wasn’t comfortable in the water but was game to water ski. She insisted on wearing a life vest, a ski vest and a wet suit to be sure that she would stay afloat. Kay only missed family events the last couple of months of her life, only because of physical limitations.

Family was at the core of her being. The importance of family has been ingrained in her children. In 2016, 29 family members aged from 4 months to 93 years old, vacationed in Mexico. She missed her ‘Buddy Boy’ and talked of him often. Kay considered church friends as family. If ever a woman lived, who warmed every heart she encountered, her name was Kay!