Mr. Theodore Teddy A. Napoli

Theodore “Ted” “Teddy” Anthony Napoli, 87, of Gresham, Oregon passed away October 11, 2010. He was born at home with the help of a midwife in Manhattan, East Harlem, New York, on July 20, 1923 to the late Enrico Henry & Katherine Ida Tremonti Napoli.

Ted’s journey started on an ocean voyage from the Province Lucera of Foggia, Italy where both of his parents were born and made an adventurous leap of faith by way of Ellis Island, New York like so many immigrants before them. Grandma “Ida” was carrying Ted as she came to America once Enrico found work, settled in and they were married. Made in Italy, and born very proudly as an Italian American Ted carried and taught the importance of where we come from throughout his life. He was a very simple man, who held onto very basic principles instilled in him as a young boy whom he stressed throughout our lives which are “Respect”, “walk a straight line”, and “Love your family”. He had a lot of practice from a very young age with his only sibling and kid brother John by caring for, mentoring, and rescuing from trouble many times. He was forced into becoming the leader and protector like so many big brothers, very early on.

As a boy growing up during the depression, Ted learned many tough lessons on the streets of New York very quickly, as he would say because, “you just had to” As you can imagine, he had many bouts as a boy and young man in a time when you settled things right here and right now, with your bare knuckles and not a lot of dramatic conversation. “It was just the way it was” he would say. Through many different ways of hard knocks intertwined with great family values, Ted learned to become a strong leader and mentor with an astounding work ethic starting his career at age 11. Ted’s first job was working for a produce peddler, for .50 cents a day which he undoubtedly used to see his favorite actors, Clark Gable and Buster Keaton. When Ted wasn’t playing “kick the can” with his lifelong friends like Angelo Palmadesso, Benny or his first cousin John, he enjoyed many sports including baseball, riding bikes, softball, stickball and handball. His favorites were swimming and boxing which became a large part of his life once he found a more organized way to put his fighting skills to the test. He also somehow managed the start of his lifelong passion for the NY Yankees by sneaking into baseball games with his pals and never getting caught. It was a simple, yet straight forward time growing up with friends like “Bananas” and “Joey Mazza” who he had to “kick the $#@# out of 4 or 5 times” till he understood who the boss of the gang was. “This is just how it was in those days” he would say, “we were still good pals”. Ted was never a bully, and only fought either to defend himself or to set things straight as part of his “doing the right thing” legacy.

Ted went to Patrick Henry Jr. High and then onto Murray High School in New York city, but unfortunately he did not graduate. There was a much more important thing happening in the world in 1939 which drove American heroes to possibly their true calling, and above everything it was the “right thing to do”. He finally decided to join the Navy as a sailor on the Barnegat-sea plane tender the U.S.S. Rockaway and spent a good part of WWII, and his young adulthood fighting for precisely the right thing to do. Teddy served as a gunners mate on the 20mm, and spoke proudly of his initial induction by way of the Atlantic Ocean fleet, playing a large part in the introduction of the U.S. Navy’s History changing event off the coast of France. Ted served duty in E.T.O. on the invasion of D-Day, 6 June, 1944 aboard the “U.S.S. Rockaway”, making a total of nine transatlantic round trips to support our courageous and triumphant sacrifice. He also was so very proud of being part of “Task Force 58” supporting Admirals Halsey and McCain’s Third fleet during the Pacific Campaign aboard the “U.S.S. Shangri-la” an Essex class aircraft carrier which earned 2 battle stars. His duties were involved working in and around the “steam engine turbines” and during alert his duties were in “damage control”. Ted would recount events from the Great War as if they were yesterday and cherished with great conviction his memories of pals he lost, the anonymous sacrifice and the world he saw outside of America. His scrapbook showing his travels during WWII was one of his very few prized possessions. In 1942 Ted entered into what he later learned to be one of his most memorable adventures in responsibility and worldly learning experiences as a 20 year old young man like so many others who found their calling of duty before ever needing to be drafted. His ship set sail for Newfoundland, Greenland, Iceland, Wales, England, Scotland, North Africa, and Rock of Gibraltar and onto Normandy, France finishing this voyage on the Rockaway in Trinidad, Panama and finally Pearl Harbor, Hawaii’s aftermath where he changed ships. He left Pearl Harbor aboard the aircraft carrier “Shangri-La” which was nicknamed the “Tokyo Express” performing the duties of damage control, continuing with many patrols from Tokyo to Kure, the island of Ulithi, Okinawa, Kyushu, Philippines’ Leyte, Diato Jima, Kobe, Honshu, and finally took liberty in Yokahama before a well deserved “homeward bound” to San Pedro, California. Ted was a very humble family man who loved life and its people and an honorable War Veteran that compassionately cherished his pictures and memories of one of the most important shaping times this country and for that matter the world has witnessed. We came together courageously to face and overcome absolute adversity and he like many war veterans adamantly never wants any of us to forget.

The war was over and the free world was in celebration, as was Ted. He came home and did what many service men did in that triumphant instant of our history, he took some time to relax and reflect on what was important in life and in 1948 he married Mae Napoli. He is survived by his first wife Mae who he just recently had got re-acquainted with by telephone and letters sent by Mae, and expressed in his kind and charismatic way how nice it was to talk with Mae again. You can tell in his eyes they had wonderful memories, and it was very inspiring to know our dad and Mae remained friends for all of these years even though they separated after a decade for reasons only shared still between them.

In 1959 Ted married Violet Belle Gibbs and moved to Mastic Beach, Long Island, NY. Violet and Ted raised their three children Ricky, Ted Jr (Oc) and Jenine along with son Jackie from Violet’s previous marriage. Ted ran a restaurant called appropriately “Teddy’s” passed down from his father and things were going fairly well for the Napoli’s. They were happily making their life together, in love and always longing to move north to the beautiful state of Vermont but their dreams fell short sadly. After only a few years of marriage God had decided other plans and Violet became gravely ill with cancer. She passed away sadly, after her tragic battle leaving her loving husband and father to four children to life’s fate.

During Ted’s bout with losing his loving wife, he met Catherine Joan Van Tassel who came into the picture to help care for Violet and their children by way of their local church, and to assist in the families struggle. Cathy had also lost her spouse, and was caring for her own three children at the time, Robert (bob), and twins Catherine and Dorothy. At some point Ted and Cathy decided it “just made sense” in their situation and found strength and love to help with the healing process of their losses to get married, and “doing the right thing” for the children again became part of Ted’s signature. So, Ted took on even more responsibility and through a kind of “yours, mine and…not quite yet; ours” they married March of 1968 after deciding to finally move to Rutland Vermont. They struggled, but found strength through the love and importance of family and faith, Cathy caring for Ted’s children and wife nearly six years between 1962 and 1968. At some point they decided to get to the “ours” part of their journey. Ted and Cathy had two children, Chalmers (Rip) and Tina. Nine was finally enough at least for all the softball games and great memories of “Normans’ farm” they spent summer months at a time getting acquainted and trying to become a family again.

These were tough times, and raising nine children together was a lot of work which we were always reminded of, and lessons of “never taking things for granted” were always affluent. “Sunday drives” were a very inexpensive form of entertainment, but they turned out to be a creative way to always keep us together and give us a great sense of Ted’s adventurous soul. A family man who knew first hand of how important food was in all of our lives, Ted worked many different jobs to put that very thing on the table and even ran a bar/restaurant again named Teddy’s in Middlebury Vermont. It was a bar more than a restaurant, where they cooked the famous Napoli sauce at home and the two of them ran like a “bootlegging” operation transferring the goods in large pots, by way of station wagon to Teddy’s Bar….across town. Ted was an amazing cook, and teacher of how much love went into cooking undoubtedly passed down from his parents’ generation, but he said “Cathy did a great job, but learned from my father”….Ted was up and running again, doing all the right things and making now a family of 11 work the best he could. But, always looking down the road he yet again had the itch to relocate for one reason or another. It was tough raising so many kids, and overcoming so much adversity so for reasons of a better life for us all Ted decided to move to Roswell New Mexico in and about 1971 only to find life had thrown him another curve ball. Ted and his family struggled even further because of the economy and promises broken after packing up the whole gang and U-hauling his life across half of the country. If it wasn’t for “puffed rice” and probably lots of “Pasta Fagioli” and their creative ways in the kitchen we might have all starved, so the stories go. (I believe we even lived on the Walnuts growing in the back yard). Ted was forced into making yet another decision for his family so he packed up yet another U-haul and the Volkswagen bus and headed to Portland, Oregon sometime around 1972.

Like mentioned before, nine children should have been enough, but at some point during this trip a friend of Ted’s truly believed in his power of mentoring and Ted took on another boy named Ozzie for a short while which he probably taught respect, walking a straight line and the love of family since they were his lifelong staples for his family but this memory was a bit hazy to recount. Ted settled right in, and loved the Great N.W. right away working many different jobs, traveling and camping all over the state and buying a house in the Alameda area. Some of the family’s fondest memories were of places Ted wanted everyone to see like Crooked River Ranch and Cove Palisades on Lake Billy Chinook. From the mountains to the sea Ted made sure to continue the Sunday drives in the gorge and many wonderful camping trips together at Timothy Lake, Battle Ground State Park and Nehalem Bay. He made good friends easily and through help and his natural entrepreneurship he found a knack for running a couple of gas stations with no previous knowledge, just always doing the right thing and whatever he needed to do to provide for family and to make things work. He moved again to S.E. Portland sometime in the middle of the 70’s and fell into the business of remodeling and became a “siding” salesman which could have possibly been his true calling. He was very good at it, and loved talking with people. He found this to be rewarding enough to continue doing this for nearly 30 years until his retirement at age 79. But, he also had a calling for something as deep as his personal love for his favorite songs, “Indian Love Call” and Sinatra’s “Something stupid” which was to have a farm.

Ted went through more tough times as families do, but overcame any roadblocks and once again decided what was best for his family he packed up and moved to Gresham Oregon in 1980. It was more of a hobby aside from his work as a salesman, and loving father and husband but he bought a 10 acre farm in the suburbs east of Gresham proper and lived there for 10 years. He learned as he went and became a novelty farmer. He raised stock and a garden for consumption and sharing with neighbors as well as sold grass hay for a hobbyists’ salary and really had a great time watching and caring for the animals as his last children at home grew up on a farm. He wanted to do this for many years and could only now afford to. He raised animals and looked over his flock like “Noah”, having almost two of each kind just for the experience. He was a novice, learning almost solely from reading, talking to people he met and spending many hours at the local feed store but he was a natural at taking on new challenges and flourishing. He talked of many wonderful memories of “the farm” and it showed in his care what a strong and gentle man he had grown to become. Feeding his “lucky strike” cigarettes to “Milford” the goat, and watching his piglets grow on “ice cream mistakes” and scraps we collected from “Dea’s In-n-out” were some of his fondest memories.

Sadly, a turn of financial events forced him to retire the farm much earlier than he deserved but him and Cathy pressed on and moved yet again to a much smaller but less labor ridden place in Gresham by 1990. Again sadly they began to struggle with Cathy’s health and moved one more time to a better suited Condo near the Gresham golf course and spent the last days of their life together in a nice community. Ted was always happy with the simple life, moved right to what he knew best and doing what was right. Ted and Cathy became content with just one animal, their dog “Monty” who played a big part in keeping the love and their need to care for little ones at home. He continued to keep family at the top of the list creating many wonderful holiday memories; his very important summer birthday parties at Battleground Lake for over 30 years became one of his many legacies. Ted and Cathy were married for 36 years and a new yet familiar sadness of loss settled in as he unfortunately again lost a partner and wife. Cathy passed away of many health complications in 2004, after another painful, family struggle of watching a loved one’s depleting health.

Ted lived his last years of life mostly alone, but never truly alone. He always had the most important things being his family and faith to fall back on. We rallied around him, and he still found strength to always press onward, never really complaining for his self and never really knowing when to give up. Although he spent many years playing golf, which he didn’t pick up until his 60’s he sadly had to give up because of pain in his wrists. He still found enjoyment from so many things as he loved to read, cook, walk Monty and go about his daily but simple routine of picking up his mail and playing the lottery. He always had friends to talk with along the way. Even when his macular degeneration became too overwhelming for reading, he found a new love for books on tape through the Blind Veterans Association and spent many hours enthralled over an adventure in the wild, wild west while always content with a bowl of dessert. He complained of people going through too much trouble for him, but sounded like a kid who just returned from “outdoor school” after spending a few weeks at a coping camp for the blind in Washington state, already in his 80’s. He was a lover of music, and not that “crap kids listen to today” but his ‘78’s of schooners and big band as well as classical and opera and he had a special love for some like “Ava Maria” and the sound track to “Once upon a time in America”. This was a film that told a story of life growing up in New York around the turn of the century he had many childhood similarities with. He always found a way to be happy and to surround himself with the people he loved, sometimes coaxing you with his mastery of Italian cuisine but really didn’t need to. You just loved being around Ted, especially in his wisdom filled golden days of retirement where he mentored, worried about and touched so many people with his always present wide open book of a heart. He always knew very decisively what was best for you, even if you disagreed and when you finally searched down low you always knew he was right.

Above all we would like to honor him not only as a war veteran, but the most wonderful, charismatic, unselfish men we have ever known. He touched the hearts of many people outside of his family so we want to celebrate his life as a loving father and husband but more appropriately a Patriarch of not only his immediate family but his lifelong family of whoever he came into contact with. He worried about every person he met, and did what he could to help them with respect, walking a straight line and to love their families….which are three qualities of any great man, and are hopefully not lost in the changing of the guard in our day. We want to honor the loss of an age of men like Ted, tough and caring right to the end. A generous, gentle man from an era of straight shooters we will never see again. We miss his sharp wit, sharper humor, his reassuring smile and god knows his cooking. He put all of his love into stirring the sauce of life that surrounded him our wise, snappy dressing, charming best friend....We were so lucky to know you. Be at peace. We love you dad.

Theodore was a loving husband and survived by his first wife Mae and a widower of wives Violet and Catherine. Ted was also a caring father who survived children Robert (Bob) Vilar, Dorothy (Dotti) Coon, Catherine Gunsch, Jackie Rappaport, Enrico (Ricky) Napoli, Jenine Napoli, Ted Jr. (Oc) Napoli, Chalmers (Rip) Napoli and Tina Walker. He was also a loving Grandpa surviving 11 grandchildren: Leroy (Billy) Coon, Robert (Rob) Vilar, David Oswald, Samantha (Sam) Vilar, Chris Oswald, Elizabeth (Liz) Oswald, Violet Napoli, Gregory (Greg) Walker, Amanda (Mandi) Walker, little “Ka ka ka Katie”… (A song he loved to sing to her)Walker and Isabella Napoli. He also was survived by seven great grandchildren: Tabitha, Caleb, Isaac, Robbie, James, Natalia and Lillianna.

**We would like to say thank you to all the people that have cared for Ted and have come into our lives in the last 9 months to help make Ted’s passing more peaceful, he had many nice things to share about you all. Thank you Bruce, Dr. Carol, Paul, Caroline, Jan, Kate, Vidda, Sarah, Julie, Jennifer, Doreen, Yvette, Melaney, anyone we have forgotten and the entire crew of angels with Providence Hospice and the V.A. God bless you all.

A celebration of Mass will be held on Friday, October 15, 2010 at 9:45am at St. Henry Catholic Church in Gresham, military burial service to follow at Willamette National Cemetery.

Arrangements under the direction of Lincoln Memorial Funeral Home, Portland, OR.