Lawrence "Lonny" G. Varney

Lawrence Varney (lor-ens varr-nee), n. 1. “Hands down the kindest, most generous person I know, constantly putting others before himself.” - Will Varney 2. “One of the most hardworking people that I’ve ever known and one of the most generous people I’ve ever crossed paths with.” - Cory Varney 3. “Never takes more than he needs and is always rushing to help, no matter the situation.” - Cole Varney

To most people, Lawrence (Lonny) Varney is just a name. It’s not defined in any dictionary and a thesaurus doesn't offer any synonyms. However, to those who know my grandfather, the name means hard work, generosity, and humility.

The 81-year-old stands at about 5'7'' tall, with silvery gray hair always slicked perfectly into place. He is often seen wearing an argyle sweater, slippers, and a smile. He's both the toughest and kindest man I know.

Many are quick to judge someone based on their salary, possessions, house size, or job title. When Lonny Varney’s name is mentioned, material things don’t come to mind. It’s nearly impossible to think about the man without considering his optimism, his work ethic, and the way he makes others feel.

While most people I know napped, played, and whined at 6 years old, Lonny Varney was already hard at work.

“My father was at war, so we went to my grandfather and grandmother’s,” said Lonny. “My grandparents owned the farm. We used to go help with the hay and get the cows in the morning. My brother and I would get up at 5 in the morning to go out and do all that… Everything was grown on the farm. You didn’t buy nothin' at the store. This time I was about 6, 7, 8 years old. It was hard work, but it was happy times.”

There are many lessons I have learned from my grandfather, including how to make the best out of a difficult situation. Lonny reflects on his childhood positively despite having to spend his summers working. He focuses on the good times and the experiences the farm offered him.

Like all of the meals his family ate, Lonny’s work ethic was grown on his grandparents' small Stockholm farm. At a young age, he learned if you want something, you have to earn it.

“One thing I learned early in life was that you’re not gonna get nothin’ for nothin’,” said Lonny. “You gotta work for it. It’s just the way it is.” He attributes this lesson to his grandparents who took care of him during his summers as a child.

“They taught us to be good kids and to work,” said Lonny. “I wouldn't change my time on the farm for anything. That was the happiest part of my childhood, it really was.”

Lonny spent the school year living with his mother in Potsdam.

With the happy times came tough times. His father, Fred Varney, returned from World War ll in 1946 but abandoned him, his mother, and his two young siblings shortly after. Lonny was only 6 years old.

"I think it was to do with the war," said Lonny on his father's leaving. "He came home and he was kinda mixed up like a lot of the troops were. He and my mother were just not getting along so he up and left. I always tied it to the war because he had seen so much stuff, you know. He just couldn't get over it for a while."

As a single parent with three young children, Lonny’s mother lost their house. “My mother couldn’t afford the house we were in and she got this place where we were paying 25 bucks a month,” said Lonny. “So we had to take it.”

As a teenager in high school, Lonny was embarrassed to be living in the one-room apartment his family was crammed into.

“He was so ashamed to take me up there the first time,” said Joan Varney, Lonny’s wife of 63 years.

“Well, as a kid I would go to church school, and you could go home right after church school,” said Lonny. “I would walk all the way to the corner of Clinton [street] because I didn’t want anyone to know I lived there.”

Lonny never got to have friends over for sleepovers or go out for dinner on his birthday. He looked forward to trips to the theater with his siblings.

“My mother would save the pennies so we could go to the Saturday afternoon matinee,” said Lonny. “So we each got 14 pennies and we’d go to the show for 14 cents.”

Lonny has dealt with more challenges in his life than many people. He has modeled to his children and grandchildren how to respond to adversity and persevere with an optimistic outlook.

Cory, Lonny’s son, believes his father’s early years were more difficult than he admits. “He had a tough upbringing which he still claims was a good upbringing,” said Cory. “That just goes to show you his true character. He always thinks positive.”

“My dad started going to work when he was 17 years old,” said Cory. “In the back of a pickup truck, he’d ride an hour and a half to the job, work 10 hours, and drive an hour and a half back. He'd sleep for six hours, and do the same thing all over again the next day. It’s just what he knew. He’s one of the hardest-working people that I’ve ever known.”

During his years at Potsdam High School, Lonny met the woman he would spend the rest of his life with.

“As a freshman, I played football, basketball, and baseball,” said Lonny. “I went to varsity, did the same thing and that’s how I met your grandmother. We were playing Massena and we beat Massena. I asked her for a date and that’s where our life started together.”

The two began their journey by getting married shortly after high school.

“So we went out on that one date,” said Lonny. “And we kind of fell in love. So when we graduated, we decided when November comes around, we’re both paying rent already, let’s just get married.”

It was after the two built their home and had their first three children when they received news they never would have expected.

“Back before Cory was born, my dad came home,” said Lonny. “And my dad had a second family, unbeknownst to us, and he went to my mother. I wasn’t going to go up to see him, but she told me I should. I got there and he took me out on the porch and told me he had three other children. He had two boys and a girl. He hadn’t come back home for about 15 years. I said, ‘Wow, do they know about us?’ and he said, ‘No.’”

Lonny's father, who left his wife and kids years before, had three more children without either family knowing about the other. Their mother never married Fred and left the children in his care. “I told him I’d be down in a couple of weeks to see the kids,” said Lonny. “That’s where Charlie, Corky, and Eileen came into the picture.”

“And guess where they all lived?” said Joan. “Here, at first. We had beds all lined up. I went down to my mother’s for sheets and towels and all of this extra stuff.”

They wanted Fred to find a job and get back on his feet so they offered to take the kids for the summer. Already working hard for every meal and to provide for their children, Lonny and Joan had to make a home for three teenage strangers. They slept in their basement, ate their food, and played their days away in West Stockholm.

Lonny decided it was time for his father to step back into his kids' lives after living and working for months without them.

“I said to him, 'Hey, you gotta take care of these three children. We’re not gonna do it any longer,'" said Lonny. “My father left with the kids, went up to town [Potsdam], got an apartment, and started living up there. It wasn't long before my mother and he were back together.”

Lonny's parents didn't get a divorce when his father left in 1946. He wasn't surprised when they reunited after a separation that lasted more than a decade. "They always were in love," said Lonny. "When he came home they got back together and had the last 25 years happy.

“That’s just one of the things in life that you have to learn and accept. It was a freak thing, but it happens, you know. Life can get out of balance, but it comes back together. It all worked out as a family. They were just the greatest kids.”

My grandfather’s bright outlook has always inspired me. He views obstacles as opportunities and hard work as a part of life. He doesn't dwell on the hard times he faced as a child. Instead, he has done everything in his power to provide for his children and make sure their upbringing was different from his own.

“His dad wasn’t the best and I think that’s why he tried to be the best dad he could be,” said Cory. “He didn’t want me to have to put up with what he had to put up with. Did he get grumpy once in a while? No, actually, not really at all,” he laughed.

According to his son, Lonny was involved in his kids' lives as much as his free time allowed.

“My dad was basically the perfect example of what you're supposed to be as a dad,” said Cory. He explained the only time he wasn't around was when he was working. He did anything he could to keep his kids occupied and happy, and he enjoyed it.

Lonny coached his sons' sports teams throughout their youths. He'd come from home from work just to have his nights filled by hockey, baseball, and football practices. It wasn't because he had to, but because he wanted to.

Being active with sports meant Lonny could spend time with his family, which he considers the most important thing.

“It has always been more about family,” he said. “That’s what we like to be involved with. The other stuff is immaterial to me. I was at the arena for almost 10 years running the skate shop. I spent a lot of time teaching baseball and junior football to the kids. It was pretty much what we lived to do.”

Even into his years as a grandparent, Lonny has never missed a game, concert, recital, or ceremony that we've asked him to attend. Trust me, there have been a lot. He loves to be engaged and acknowledge his kids' hard work and accomplishments.

“You gotta be up on what’s going on,” said Lonny on parenting. “You can’t sit by and say, 'They’ll be alright.' You have to stay involved with the kids and show them that you respect what they're doing and help them the best you can.”

As long as I call prior to their 8 o'clock bedtime the night before, I have always been able to count on seeing my grandparents smiling from the bleachers at my games. All of the Varney grandkids know if they're ever featured in a local news article, it will be cut out and hung on the fridge by their biggest supporters: Lonny and Joan.

From coaching football to buying a horse for his son Mike's fourth birthday, Lonny has always gone out of his way to make his kids happy.

“My dad tried out having a horse,” said Cory. “It did not go over well. Rocket kicked his ass. He bucked him right off the bat. Dad acted like he knew how to ride a horse but he didn't. He almost broke his back.”

"That horse would just take off," said Lonny. "We had a rail fence that my buddy helped me build. Rocket would rub his butt on that thing and there he'd go. He'd go all through the woods out back."

Some days Lonny had to take the day off from work just to find the horse. He endured the hassle to the delight of the children.

“I walked every night for all of the kids in the neighborhood to take turns around and around the field,” said Lonny. “I must’ve spent two or three hours a night out there. All the neighborhood kids wanted to ride the Rocket.”

"One morning the horse got out," he continued. "Grandma was in her bathrobe and nightgown and had to cross the road because the horse was in the cemetery. That was the end of us having poor Rocket. He was something else, that horse. What a mistake."

His patience with Rocket is characteristic of Lonny. He gives his best effort toward everything, even a stubborn horse who disregards his set boundaries and prefers a cemetery over his warm shed.

Lonny's story about his hours spent giving the neighborhood kids rides on the crazy colt didn't surprise me at all. It's a perfect example of how he has lived his life: selfless, dedicated, and kindhearted.

Lonny's compassion extends far beyond his friends and family. To my mind, the expression, "He couldn't hurt a fly," doesn't suit another person better than my grandfather. He never misses an opportunity to go out of his way to help someone, even if that someone has feathers and stands at about three inches tall.

"We woke up one morning and I could see this little thing swimming in the pool," said Lonny. "I go out and it's a little duck. I picked it up, your grandmother and I cleaned it all off and put it in a box in the house. I didn't know what to do with it so I called your Uncle Mike and he said, ‘Take it down to the swamp. If the mother is around there she'll find it.' So I sat there watching the poor little duck. And all of a sudden, all these big birds were flying around. I said, 'I ain't leaving it there!' So I ran down, got the little duck, and took it up to the pond over by Anne Marie and Rick’s place. We got it near the water and it swam right down the bank. That's the last time we saw it. I couldn’t harm an animal, I just couldn’t do that."

When I interviewed him for this article, my grandpa didn't talk about his hobbies or pastimes. If you asked other grandfathers in the North Country about their favorite diversions, many of their answers would likely include hunting and fishing. Lonny doesn't wish to harm anything, not even a fish.

“I was never a hunter," said Lonny when I asked what he does for fun. “I couldn't shoot a deer. Basically, it was just helping the kids and being involved with sports all the way up through school with your Uncle Mike and your dad. I couldn’t kill nothin' anyways.”

When asked, Lonny couldn't think of any hobbies or activities he preferred over being engaged with his children and their interests. He has always been content spending time with his wife, dog, children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. It is this limitless support and love that makes my grandfather an invaluable part of the Varney family.

The only things he was handed in life were extra kids to take care of. He wasn’t given money from his parents, he didn’t have the opportunity to go to college, and there were no family businesses he could have taken over. Lonny Varney has worked for every dollar he has, sometimes working more than one job at a time.

He spent three and a half years as an apprentice at Shelly Electric, 33 years working at the Niagara Mohawk Power Corporation, about 25 years helping at Garner Funeral Home, 10 years running the skate shop at Pine Street Arena, about 12 years coaching, and 21 years as the president of the West Stockholm Cemetery. He hadn't stopped his constant hustle and hard work until he finally retired for the second time last December at 81 years old.

Lonny has never been stingy with his money, despite working hard for it his entire life. I have never met anyone as generous as my grandfather. Lose a tooth? He’ll hand you five bucks. Get a 100 on a 4th-grade spelling test? He’ll slip you $15. Going to the mall? He’ll sneak you a twenty. Headed out for lunch? A $10 bill will show up in your hand. "Just don't tell gram."

This has been the case with all of his grandchildren. We don’t ask, but he just can’t help himself from giving.

“He’d give you the shirt off his own back in a heartbeat,” said Lonny’s grandson, Chad Varney. “He expects nothing besides love and respect in return.”

Lonny is known as a leader, worker, and a people person. He has proved this throughout his life. One afternoon in the year 2000, he was stopped by the president of the West Stockholm Cemetery Association, Mr. Tracy. He asked him if he wanted to get involved with their work and told him he should come to the meeting on Monday night.

“I'm sitting in my chair, everyone is talking, and I don't know anybody,” said Lonny. “And someone says, 'Well, we’re having elections for officers,' And Mr. Tracy got up and said, 'I nominate Lonny Varney for president,' and I said 'What?' This was the first time I had anything to do with it.”

Lonny's reputation in his small community landed him the highest position of an organization he had never been part of. "Twenty-one years I've enjoyed tremendously," said Lonny. “I get to meet all kinds of people, like different funeral directors. Just dealing with people, I've really enjoyed it.”

This year, Lonny retired from the position and was given the news the West Stockholm Cemetery Association planned on erecting a flagpole and a plaque to honor his 21 years of service. Characteristically humble, he was surprised. The organization threw him a party that, again, he never expected.

“You wouldn’t believe what the heck they're doin’,” Lonny said to Joan when he returned from the retirement party he assumed would be a normal meeting.

Most people don't retire more than once. My grandpa, however, is not like most people. He retired from his job at the power corporation in 1994 but didn't stop working until 2020. His work ethic is unlike any other I've seen.

He came from nothing, from a time when the gift of 14 cents was a real treat. He hasn't stopped moving and pushing himself since he was 5 years old on his grandparents' farm. His positive outlook on life has offered him opportunities and success and inspires those around him.

Lonny Varney has touched the hearts of many people. I don't know anyone who would say a negative thing about him. I feel emotional as I write this and reflect on all he's done for my family and me. For the rest of my life, when I’m met with an obstacle I will ask myself, “How would Papa handle this?”

"If we could all live like Lonny Varney,” said my brother, Chad, “the world would be a much better place."

* * * * * * * * * *

Mr. Lawrence G. Varney, age 83, of West Stockholm, NY passed away on May 14, 2023 at the Canton-Potsdam Hospital. Arrangements are with the Garner Funeral Service. Friends may call on Thursday, May 18th from 3-7 pm. A mass of Christian burial will be held at 11 am the following day at St. Mary’s Church in Potsdam with Rev. Joseph Giroux and Rev. Garry Giroux concelebrate. Burial will follow at the West Stockholm Cemetery. Contributions in Lonny’s memory can be made to the West Stockholm Cemetery Association c/o Joseph Russell @ 143 Old Market Rd., Winthrop, NY 13697, or to the West Stockholm Volunteer Fire Department, P. O. Box 257, West Stockholm, NY 13696.

Lonny is survived by his loving wife of 64 years, Joan Varney; daughters, Annemarie (Rick) Adams and Kim (Bruce) Thompson; sons, Michael (Penni) Varney and Cory (Trish) Varney; grandchildren, Brad (Mary) Adams, Tylar (Amanda) Varney, Andy (Jaime) Varney, Michelle (Rob) Kunz, Christopher (Kandie) McGrath, Justin (Maura Mayer) McGrath, Patrick (Amy) McGrath, Chad, Cole, Will and Halle Varney, Troy (Mindy) Thompson, Lacey (Brad Francis) Thompson, and Devin (Haven LaBar) Chambers; 38 great-grandchildren; a half-brother, Frederick “Corky“ Varney, a half-sister, Eileen Slater, and several nieces and nephews. Lonny is predeceased by a brother, James Varney, a sister, Mary Ann Fuller, and a half-brother, Charles Varney.

Lawrence Gilbert Varney was born on January 14, 1940, in West Stockholm, NY to the late Frederick Varney and Ella Farnsworth Varney. He was a 1958 graduate of Potsdam Central High School. While at PCS he was a three sport standout, excelling in football, basketball and baseball. Lonny always talked about his friends in high school and their generosity towards him as he did not have much growing up. His father was wounded in France during WWII and when he returned home the family dynamic changed. As a result, his mother worked long hours at the hospital to provide for the family.

Lonny’s faith was always very important to him. He would pray often and had been a member of St. Mary’s Church since childhood. He served as an altar boy for several years and later became one of the head ushers during Saturday afternoon mass.

After graduating from high school, Lon started working for Shelly Electric. He often rode in the back of a pickup truck to get to the job site. On November 15, 1958, he married his high school sweetheart, Joan Russell. The ceremony took place at St. Mary’s Church in Potsdam. Joan also came from humble beginnings, but together they committed to raising a strong, close-knit family that was always their top priority.

Lonny loved to work. A perfect weekend day for him would be to get up early, work an 8-9 hour day and then enjoy the evening at home with his family. He was always busy, whether he was packing up the kids and heading to Saranac Lake to help build Bill Delosh’s house, cutting wood with the Dorothy and Carey families, or digging his own in-ground swimming pool by hand with buddies from work. Several kids in the neighborhood were able to enjoy that pool and it became Lon and Joan’s favorite entertaining venue. They hosted countless barbecues, family gatherings, and holidays at their home.

One day, early in their marriage, Lon went to work on the vacant building lot they had recently purchased. Much to his surprise, there was a huge pile of lumber in the yard. He had talked to Mr. Green about building a house but had not ordered any materials yet because he couldn’t afford them. Lon raced over to Green’s Sawmill to let them know there had been a big mistake. Mr. Green calmed him down and told Lonny not to worry. Knowing Lon’s character, he said that he trusted him and knew he would pay him back. Sure enough, Lonny built the entire house by hand and paid off every penny.

While at Shelly Electric, Lonny became an electrician by trade. Then, after a few years, he went to work for Niagara Mohawk. He quickly became a foreman and assisted in building several substations throughout the North Country while also operating and maintaining several hydroelectric dams owned by the company. Eventually, he worked his way up to a position as a supervisor. However, he didn’t really enjoy this role because he wasn’t very good at watching others work. He retired at age 54 with over 30 years of service. His last title was Supervisor of Power Delivery and he also oversaw the Blake Reservoir Campsite. His son and daughter-in-law Cory and Trish were fortunate to work for him at the campsite during their summer breaks from college. After retiring, Lonny went to work for Dean Talcott at the Garner Funeral Service. During this time, Lonny played a major role in several remodeling projects. Then, when Dean and Cory switched roles in 2000, Lonny started working in the funeral service aspect of the business. He worked alongside Cory for over 20 years until he became ill in 2021.

In his younger years, Lonny was a member of the Potsdam Volunteer Fire Department. Being a great athlete, they were happy to have him on the fire department Firematics Drill Team. They would compete in firemen competitions all over St. Lawrence County. His best event was ladder climbing.

Throughout his life, Lonny was very involved with his children and the community. He was a former member and the president of The Potsdam Junior Hockey Board and ran The Skate Shop at Pine St. Arena for years. In addition, Lon coached the Cardinals in Pop Warner Football and Little League Baseball for several years. Wherever the kids needed to be, Lonny and Joan would get them there, often dragging other siblings as well as their friends along for the ride.

Lon was recently honored by the West Stockholm Cemetery Association for the dedication and service he gave for over 30 years in many roles from bookkeeper to president. A new flag pole and monument bearing his name were dedicated to him at the cemetery.

Lonny was not afraid of trying new things with his kids. Whether it was riding Rocket the horse, snowmobiling, ice skating, or operating a dirt bike, Lon would jump in. It didn’t always go well, but he always gave it his best shot.

Lon loved animals and they usually had a family pet. Most recently, their granddaughter gifted them a small dog without a bark named Mugsy II. This pup has been a very important companion to Lon and will be keeping Joan company as she moves forward through this difficult time.

Lonny loved watching sports. If he wasn’t sitting on the sidelines as his children or grandchildren played, he was often following his favorite teams, The Notre Dame Fighting Irish and the Yankees.

Lonny was a very dedicated husband, father, grandfather, great-grandfather, and uncle. He had a special bond with each family member and loved spending time with them. He will surely be missed by all.