OBITUARY
Ellen Strawbridge Yarborough
December 2, 1933 – January 13, 2018
Reflections on Foundations and Influences, by Ellen S. Yarborough
For more than eighty years, Ellen Strawbridge Yarborough lived life as a Game. Games have structure, but leave room for initiative and new twists—and for ever-developing equipment, for teams of various sizes, and for changing pace according to the challenge of the situation and the skill of the players. [The Lord called a final time out for her on Sat. January 13, taking her peacefully in her sleep from her new home in Raleigh, allowing her to live well and play hard until the very end.]
As the healthy only child of a White United Methodist minister and his co-community-leader wife in a series of small southern farming communities, Ellen grew up conventionally. Her playfulness was supported by her affectionate parents and by friends at church and school, where she saw herself as able to behave and achieve. Like many in her white-privilege world, she first dreamed about doing “good” in the abstract, without noticing the social justice issues close to home. Ellen’s course was set when she learned to lead groups in folk dances, songs, and stories—along with mental challenges and spiritual explorations—through the Methodist Youth Fellowship, especially at summer teen weeks at Louisburg College. Her loving and mutually appreciative relationship with Dewey Yarborough—begun at Methodist Youth Fellowship sessions and continued through college years—led to their marriage one year after her 1955 graduation as a Re-creator from the Woman’s College of the University of North Carolina (now UNC-G).
For decades in Winston-Salem, Dewey and Ellen Yarborough were an active and committed Team, exploring God’s will and Society’s needs for discernment and personal responsibility. Their values were congruent, while their harmonies and the “teams” on which each played were sometimes similar, and sometimes complementary. They shared the love and guidance of their children Mark, Lynn, Bryan, and Beth—whose own values and competences (and those of their spouses and children) brought bright joy to both Dewey and Ellen. All meaningful games include challenges, growth, and balances, and the Yarboroughs found life to be full of opportunity for learning and for the kind of win-win-win experiences that added meaning to their relationships and situations.
After his death in 2008, the influence of Dewey’s Christian Love and Joy continued in Ellen’s life—and in the lives of their family: Mark and Valerie R. Yarborough, Sarah Yarborough and Victor Lytvinenko, Tim and Alex B. Yarborough; Lynn, Cary, Caroline, and Charlotte Saul; Bryan and Mandy Yarborough, Cameron and Erin (“Murphy”) Yarborough, Eliot and Lucy Burnhams; and Beth, David, Jacob, and Hannah Smoot.
Other forces guided Ellen’s growth personally, professionally, and spiritually—as she continued vigorously to play the Game of Life with its joys and challenges: her first job at the YWCA—with its emphasis on inter-racial respect and bridge-building—brought Ellen and Dewey to civic activism and systemic anti-racism, further bolstered within Christian associations. Counseling and mediation employment at Forsyth Mental Health, The Children’s Home, Blumenthal Jewish Home, and Trinity Center blessedly led to ordination as a United Methodist Deacon and service in Green Street Church, a multicultural reconciling United Methodist congregation. Also in Winston-Salem, Ellen’s sense of community found expression in the West End and West Salem Neighborhood Associations.
Throughout her career, Ellen identified her role and ministry as a Re-creator. Membership with Dewey in the Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment (now Better Marriages) underscored the importance of working on intimate relationships throughout life. Her Rotary Scholar year in England with Drama Exemplar Dorothy Heathcote deepened her understanding of informal education. Service with the March of Dimes included a focus on maternal and infant health. Spiritual awareness of environmental challenge was a factor in her Stewardship of the Earth. Residence in Arbor Acres United Methodist Retirement Community—and near family in Raleigh after her May 2017 move—provided a healthy, supportive, and pleasurable environment, with the freedom to continue pursuing God’s will and discovering the right Games to be playing at each phase of her life.
As one who lived in the present, Ellen approached life not only as a Game, but also as Jazz, the art of finding new rhythms and harmonies, with these sustaining sayings:
“Love God and do as you please!” (Augustine of Hippo) and “Put everything in your life afloat upon God” (Oswald Chambers).
Service arrangements made by www.BrownWynne.com in Raleigh with a celebration of life, followed by an ice cream reception. A second Memorial Service will be held in Winston-Salem Sunday, January 28 at 2pm at Green Street UMChurch. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to www.theshalomprojectnc.org, www.greeNestws.org, www.thegreenchair.org or www.esumc.org/southeast
Services
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Memorial Service
Friday, January 19, 2018
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Memorial Service
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Memories
Ellen Strawbridge Yarborough
have a memory or condolence to add?
ADD A MEMORYAdelaide Palermo
February 2, 2018
I was so sorry to hear about Ellen's passing. I worked with Ellen for many years at Trinity Center and always admired her ability to be at the same time both compassionate and straightforward. Her commitment to living out her faith was inspiring, as was her love of life and sense of fun. Ellen was truly one of a kind.
"Reeny" Colwell
January 29, 2018
Lynn, Mark, Bryan, Beth, and family, Please accept my prayers, thoughts, and sympathy as you remember your mother's amazing life. I would like to share my memories of both of your parents, which are all times of play. As Lynn's Pfeiffer roommate, I was lucky enough to be invited home with her. For Thanksgiving 1978, I remember a traditional family dinner. But afterwards, instead of watching football on TV, we all played football, on the field at the end of Brookstown Ave. What fun! For Easter 1979, Lynn, Dewey, and I went to God's Acre for the Easter Sunrise Service. Ellen played music with one of the bands gathering at God's Acre, marching in from one of seven places around W-S. It remains the most memorable Easter Service I have ever attended. My third memory is of a hot air balloon flight Ellen and Dewey took with Pete. I hope they felt inspired as they floated free of earthly ties. You all have a very special family with a very special bond. I am blessed to have been a part of your family gatherings. I will always be inspired by your parents. You all are in my thoughts and prayers.
Margaret Anna Robertson
January 29, 2018
I will miss your mom's open arms and ready smile that welcomed me into her life and family at any moment! I learned so much growing up with her wisdom, kindness, and never-wavering sense of justice and integrity in our world. Love and Peace to my Yarborough family.
Lisa Northup
January 23, 2018
She was a very special person and the world was a better place due to Mrs. Yarborough as I later learned to call her Yar. I know she is taking charge in heaven but I cant help but be selfish and feel a big lost here on earth. The heavens have gotten an outstanding lady. Lisa Northup
Irma Jackson
January 22, 2018
I will surely miss "Yar". She was always an interesting and delightful person and always open to " new possibilities". She loved life and it was all a game for her.She lived what she espoused and was always trying to get people to come for dinner when she was at Arbor Acres.It was a shock to read her obituary but she was a "blessing " to a great number of people.
Alice Fowler
January 21, 2018
I am sorry to say I just met Ellen in October of 2017. I found her to be very open and clear about her calling in life. We met through the Wings Book Club where we talked about some of life's racial issues. She brought a lot of experience and insight to the table which will be greatly missed. Prayers to the family and please continue to play the game of life with as much energy as Ellen did, its your move now.
Sarah Kahn
January 19, 2018
I didn't have the privilege of knowing her for very long, but Ellen was a wonderful neighbor. She often popped over to discuss gardening and my flower beds. She will be missed!
January 19, 2018
My first recollections of Ellen were during our freshman year at W.C. practicing gymnastic moves (she balancing me on her feet as I spread my arms as though in flight) during "closed study;" and as we, hesitantly putting on the obligatory wool tank suits, learned to swim. The summer following was spent at Camp May Flather in Virginia "posing" as counselors to the Girl Scouts from the Washington, D.C. area.
In thinking about the fragility of life it made me come to the realization that in the deepest recesses of my mind I thought Ellen--large in stature, blessed with abundant energy and intelligence, with a devoutness of character beyond comprehension--would live forever! I truly believe that her reward for her wonderful life was "slipping into heaven" quietly in sleep. She will be sorely missed!
Blessings to her family...Norma Cofer Witherspoon, '55
Ward Miller
January 18, 2018
To the family of Ellen Yarborough:
Ellen and I became friends when I volunteered with the Triad Chapter March of Dimes over 30 years ago. She was a great mentor and friend to me and my wife. We traveled all across the United States attending events for the March of Dimes. We were invited to her home at Arbor Acres on many occasions for dinner. The week before she was to move to Raleigh she invited Vicki and I for dinner at Arbor Acres. After dinner we had ice cream her most favorite dessert. She offered a tour of her apartment and an opportunity to play assorted games. We will miss her wit, intellect and most of all her warm and pleasing personality. She was always willing to help others and her strong faith in God was evident in how she made people feel. Thanks for sharing this rare jewel with us! Ward and Vicki Miller
Kathryn Weir Hemming
January 18, 2018
To me, Ellen was fiercely passionate about two things: her family and her faith, and she was blessed with both.
I first met Ellen and Dewey in 1979, but don't remember anything of that time. The stories, however are rich and numerous, because they formed strong friendships with the people they met there and had such a positive impact on the lives of so many - myself included.
My family have enjoyed knowing Ellen and her whole family since then: I first visited Winston Salem and played with her in the dawn chorus, and then have been meeting up with (and living with) various family members both in England and America ever since.
It seems appropriate that my first memory of Ellen is churning ice cream with her in her back yard in 1984 and my final memory is sharing ice cream with her and many family members at our progressive dinner in Raleigh last summer.
So actually, maybe that's 3 things: family, faith and ice-cream. What an incredible woman. I loved her very much and am incredibly grateful for the lifelong friendships she created.
Gay Slough
January 18, 2018
Dear Lynn and family, I'm so sorry about your mom. I have such fond memories of her back in Winston when I would spend the night with you. She was a lovey and I know you'll miss her terribly. She always looked so great when I'd see her at Arbor Acres. Such a strong lady. She's with your dad now and it is really a blessing she didn't suffer. You know as I do that she is still around you everywhere. Just look in the mirror and you see her pretty lovely face. That was always a comfort to me, to look like my mom, and there she is..in the mirror :)
Connie McDermid
January 18, 2018
What an absolutely appropriate illustration of her life to use the analogy of how she played the Game of Life. She certainly knew how to master innumerable kinds of games and did it with the most gusto I've ever seen. She was so unique that she stood in a class by herself in so many areas. Anyone that so much as brushed up against her had to be affected in a positive way! Her influence in all of our lives is immeasurable. She and her husband did so much for your family and the community that their legacy will be felt for eternity. We will all feel the loss of her presence since she had such a presence! I always remember her Life: Be in It motto, which summed hers up for sure.
Marilyn Weiler
January 18, 2018
I first met Ellen at the YWCA. She was one of the counselors for summer day camp. We continued our friendship at Centenary UMC. When I became the first woman to usher, she was the first to tell me how important it was to see a woman in that role. When I was called into ordained ministry, Ellen again gave me her affirmation and support. We have continued to work together in ministry until she moved. She has been a blessing in my life and I will miss her. I pray you are feeling the comfort and peace of God's Holy Spirit as you remember Ellen.
Dinah Gough & family
January 18, 2018
I first met Ellen when I visited from the UK for my daughter Mandy's wedding to Bryan. She was incredibly welcoming and we got on so well together. We met again to spend a weekend with many of the family at the Lakehouse which was such a lovely experience. Plenty of tubs of ice cream were eaten that weekend!
Ellen lived life to the full and I'm glad to have had the chance to meet her. I'm so sorry for your loss & send my sympathies to the whole family.
Michele Karwoski
January 17, 2018
Mark & Valerie, Tim and Alex, I am so sorry about your loss. Your (grand)mother (in-love) sounded like a fun and interesting lady. I wish I could have met her. My heart goes out to you at this time of loss.
Mary Banks Lofquist
January 17, 2018
Ellen and I were in the same dorm as freshmen at WC, so we go back a long way. We were close friends during college and since then as well. Ellen was my boss when I taught sewing at the YWCA in Winston-Salem for several years. During the 10 years we lived in Winston-Salem, we saw quite a bit of Ellen and Dewey. Our children, Ellen and Lynn, were very good friends too. Ellen and Dewey visited us in Tucson after we moved here. When we visited Winston-Salem, Ellen and Dewey hosted us in their retirement community. We admired Ellen and Dewey 's strong activism through their church. Bill and I will really miss our good friend, Ellen Yarborough.
Patrick and Robin Donnelly
January 17, 2018
Ellen was a lovely neighbor, a true friend, and a store of positive enthusiasm for everyone she came in contact with. She made a real impact in people's lives. Truly a life well lived. Peace to her, her family and to the uncountable people whose lives she touched.
Diana Calaway
January 17, 2018
I have been reading these 22 entries in Ellen's Guest Book--many from friends I have known at UNCG, later in Winston-Salem, and at Arbor Acres. Each of you has nailed some of the special qualities that Ellen offered freely to the human race. In our sorrow at losing her, this Guest Book allows us to join together to rekindle old friendships and to celebrate her life well lived. Diana Chatham Calaway
Amy Bryant
January 17, 2018
On one of our first visits to a Green street Yar stood at the back of the church and knocked loudly on the pew and said " you here that? That's opportunity knocking" she was referring to our opportunity to get a picture for the church directory. I always found it startling and funny. After that she found my family and asked us over to eat and play games. We didn't go, and the next weekend more determined she asked again and that led to several play dates with her. She was an amazing person and I am so happy we met her. She will surely be missed.
With much gratitude-Amy
Sallie (Wilson) Harrison
January 17, 2018
I always admired Mrs Yarborough. She was determined yet kind. She stood out among other women at Centenary UMC. Her life seemed to be an adventure and I wanted/want to live that way too! My heart goes out to her family, I know she will be missed.
Susan Foote
January 17, 2018
As one of her new neighbors, we were stunned and saddened to hear of her passing.
She was a sweetheart and we were looking forward to many more years of getting to know her better.
Our thoughts are with all whose life she has touched.
Karen and Fred Smoot
January 17, 2018
When we received our Christmas card from Ellen this past year, she mentioned that she was looking forward to her first Christmas in her new home. She said she loved being so close to her children and she mentioned that all four spoiled her! Beth told us that Ellen took a city bus to the state fair in the fall so she could ride the ferris wheel. She went to heaven with some great memories of her last months on Earth!! We love you Raleigh Yarboroughs and Smoots. We'll be sending extra good vibes the next few days!
Saxon Scarborough
January 17, 2018
Ellen was a energetic and loyal participant in the Order of Deacons in western NC. She led us in many dances and games at retreats! She was always so welcoming to everyone, and genuinely interested in you and what you were doing. She and Dewey truly embodied and shared the love of Christ.
Mary Kay Heling
January 16, 2018
The morning water aerobics class at Alexander YMCA will miss her. She sure brought fun with her when she entered the pool.Each day she entered with a dolphin like movement, never complaining about the water temperature just fully enjoying her opportunity to be there. Her personality attracted quick friendships. Several have mentioned how they will miss their steamroom conversations. We are all thankful that she moved to Raleigh and touched our lives. Our thoughts and prayers are with her family.
Eva Phillips
January 16, 2018
"Yar" was the first person I met when I visited Green Street Methodist Church. She welcomed us with open arms and with an invitation to eat lunch with her after church at her home at Arbor Acres. She was the life of the church! Her presence has been missed since she moved to Raleigh but I'm so happy to know that she was with her children. RIP my friend. You were one of a kind! I'm honored to know you.
Peggy Slater
January 16, 2018
It may have been the last time I saw her. Mom and I were at Arbor Acres for a funeral, and saw her as we were about to leave the reception. She insisted that we come upstairs with her so that we could see her room. So happy we did! She also insisted that we play a game while we were there. It was SPOT IT! I have since purchased that game, and am looking forward to playing it with my granddaughter when she gets a little bigger.
Steve Rainey
January 16, 2018
To say that Ellen Yarborough was a character is a bit of an understatement!!! I am a retired clergy member of the W.N.C Annual Conference. I have experienced your Mom on many occasions & have appreciated her passion for justice in all its forms & her forthright attitude about making faith a verb. I am so grateful that God loaned her to us these few 80-some years. Blessings,
Kathleen Ramich
January 16, 2018
Ellen's name was legendary in the West End of Winston-Salem when I moved here 20+ years ago. The story goes that when she heard how the city's routing plans for Bus 40 would destroy Hanes Park, Ellen baked cookies & called neighbors together to fight it. This original "Save Hanes Park" movement led to the founding of the West End Neighborhood Association. I always admired Ellen's spunk & her determination to stand up & speak truth to power. Thank you, Ellen. May your spirit fly free! With affection,
Cama Merritt
January 16, 2018
Ellen was a bright spot in our life at Arbor Acres. She introduced us to Greene Street Methodist Church, where we enjoyed the lively worship services on several occasions and where we respected the outstanding social work the congregation offered the neighborhood. She initiated the Arbor Acres Resident Directory, a great service to the residents. She was a true spiritual leader and an inspiration to Robert and me. Heartfelt condolences to the family.
Greg and Barbara Taylor
January 16, 2018
We are sorry for your loss.
Take care and God Bless you and your family during this time.
Greg and Barbara Taylor
James Jarrell
January 16, 2018
O LORD, PLEASE HEAR OUR PRAYERS, IN THE MORNING WHEN WE RISE. ITS YOUR SERVANTS BOUND FOR GLORY. PLEASE LORD HEAR OUR PRAYERS. WHEN OUR WORK ON EARTH IS DONE AND YOU COME TO TAKE US HOME - MAY YOU SAY WELL DONE!
JAMES R. JARRELL (WINSTON-SALEM, NC)
Ellen Lofquist Duperret
January 16, 2018
I have many fond memories of Ellen when Lynn and I used to play together at the Yarborough house. Ellen was a college friend of my mother's, Mary Banks Lofquist. They kept up with each other their whole lives since college. My mother will miss her. Big hugs to you, Lynn, as well as to your your siblings.
Helen Monroe
January 16, 2018
So saddened to hear of Ellen's passing. Ellen was a kind and delightful person, who upon our relocation to Winston Salem, invited my husband Tim and me over to have lunch a few times at Arbor Acres. She cared about ALL people. Her curiosity about life and others always touched my heart.
Prayers of Comfort, Strength and Peace to the children and family of this beloved woman. May her light, warmth and love of mankind continue to shine in our hearts forever.
Frances Campbell
January 16, 2018
A few years ago, Ellen's classmates from WCUNC (then, UNCG now) honored her by conferring on her the Distinguished Alumna Service Award, citing her lifetime service to all those in need for whatever reason. We loved her as our classmate (by far the best known member of the Class of 1955 because she stood out in all kinds of ways, not just in height), she always greeted all of us with joy and exurburance. We continued to love her as she brightened all our days then and since. I bet even Heaven will experience a few shakeups now that she is there!
Nancy Terry
January 16, 2018
I had just talked with Ellen on Friday about getting together with her and one of her ministers to talk about Better Marriages and what is happening with the organization in Raleigh. She was humorous, and as always looking for an opportunity to spread the word about good relationships and Better Marriages. We knew Dewey as well. We remember them dancing at one of our past NC Better Marriages conferences.
George Bryan
January 16, 2018
Thank you Ellen for being the example of a Neighbor. Thank you for your part in organizing the West End Neighborhood Association in Winston-Salem back in the '60s. You and Dewey reminded us of our mission in life and your outreach to diversity improved our hearts and our care of neighbors. As a former CEO of The Children's Home, I thank you for your service to those most needy. (I have shared with our neighborhood your important to our history).- George Bryan
January 16, 2018
I first experienced Ellen's exuberance when she entered the same class of students that I was in at Rocky Mount High School. She was fun to know at Woman's College (UNC-G) too. Her commitment and achievements were always awesome. Barbara Hocutt
Lea Nading
January 16, 2018
Ellen was an important member of God's Team. She has now been promoted to be in His Holy Presence. Prayers for God's love to surround and support family and friends.
Lea Nading (Lea's Earth Touch of NC)
Mary Lynn Wigodsky
January 15, 2018
I am so shocked and saddened to learn of this loss. Ellen and I just exchanged Christmas cards and she assured me the move had been good for her.
We worked closely together years ago in Winston Salem and re connected when I moved back...we had each continued on the path of community.
An ice cream party was what she chose for her 80th birthday... perfect for her now.
Fran Friedensen Gordon
January 15, 2018
I worked with Ellen years ago at the Mental Health Center and adored her playfulness, her compassion, and her dedication to all the clients that came through the door. She was an inspiration to all. Fran Friedensen Gordon
Patricia Witt
January 15, 2018
I appreciated seeing Ellen's bright and happy face across the choir room at rehearsals. She was most friendly when we had opportunity to bump into each other in the robing room or collecting our music. I am thankful for the life she lived and for her daughter, Beth Smoot, and family.
Gerry Barnes
January 15, 2018
I know the loss you feel is so raw now but I know that Ellen is exactly where she aspired to be. I send you my condolences and offer prayers of peace to the whole family. Sweet memories are yours to cherish now.
Cousin Gebe
Barbara Smoot
January 15, 2018
I so much appreciated my friendship with Ellen. It was like I had known her all my life from our first telephone conversation. She graciously shared her offsprings and their spouses with me and I enjoyed them all. Such a wonderful family! They can all celebrate her life which she shared completely with each of them. She will always be with us. Written with much love -
January 15, 2018
Henry and I met Ellen and Dewey in 1965 when we started attending Trinity UM Church. We were in the same Sunday School Class. She left quite a legacy and will always be remembered by us and many others at Trinity. When God created Ellen, He threw away the mold. We LOVED her. May your memories of her bring joy to your hearts. Narda Marvin