Shirley Ann Graham

Shirley was born December 11, 1938, in Butler, Pennsylvania to Angelo and Mary Ramelli. At the tender age of 12, she met and soon fell in love with Fred Graham. Their story began with Fred walking past her home on his way to/from work at Friedman’s Grocery Store. Their early years included flirting on the stoop outside Shirley’s home and a nationwide separation when Fred’s family moved to California. Refusing to believe it was the end, she remained faithful and waited.

Shirley’s patience was rewarded with a passionate reunion when Fred returned for his one true love. In 1955 they eloped to Maryland. The young couple took up residence in a well-swept and wallpapered chicken coop belonging to Fred’s older sister until they got on their feet. Soon they started their own family. With two young daughters, ages 3 and 2, they headed west. Within the decade they added one son and another daughter to the Graham Family. In the five decades that followed, they took well-calculated risks, made sound choices, and enjoyed some good luck from time to time. The couple had a long and trusting companionship, enriched by four children, eleven grandchildren, and nearly two dozen great-grandchildren. Partners in life and in business, they were practically inseparable. Shirley and Fred lived in Pennsylvania, California, Nevada, Oregon, and Washington throughout 61 years of marriage. In their much-deserved retirement, they traded their “brick and mortar” home for the kind on wheels and set out on their life-long dream to tour the country in an RV. Thankfully, they were able to enjoy this for several years before dementia entered their lives. Shirley cared for Fred the best she could until his passing in 2016. Shirley then settled into an Assisting Living Community, made new friends, and became a fierce competitor on Bingo Nights. After all, she was a survivor.

Anyone who knew Shirley knew that her mission in life was to be a good mother. This desire undoubtedly stemmed from the fact that her mother took her own life when Shirley was only seven years old. This tragic loss of her mother impacted Shirley immensely. As she matured she questioned why any mother would leave her children. Help to process such grief was not readily available in the 1940s. Throughout her life, she never let go of her desire to understand. So, in addition to becoming a dedicated mother of four and prioritizing her children, she also worked to educate herself. As resources became available, she read, studied, and participated in groups to ease the grief she carried. These experiences helped her identify as a “survivor”. She shared what she learned with others to raise awareness and reduce the stigma associated with suicide.

Shirley prided herself on being frugal. She loved hunting for treasures and shopping for deals at second-hand shops and outdoor flea markets. This not only helped stretch her budget but also taught her children the value of a dollar. Her thriftiness may have been the reason Shirley began to sew. But before long, she moved from patching and mending to becoming a gifted seamstress. In the 1960’s and 70’s she sewed virtually all of her children’s clothing, including underwear! Later hobbies consisted of writing poetry, reading biographies and sending handwritten greeting cards to friends and family. She was an avid collector. Her first collection was of pieces affiliated with her namesake, Shirley Temple. Next, she fell for a child’s doll and compiled the full set of Strawberry Shortcake and Friends, which is why her oldest grandchildren called her “Grandma Strawberry”. She accumulated a vast inventory of earrings, possessing (at least!) one pair to match each outfit in her wardrobe. Perhaps, Shirley's favorite pastime was riding along in the Chevy of her one and only, Fred. It was not uncommon for the couple to drive over 100 miles of blue highways just to go to lunch. Naturally, they stopped at all the garage sales along the way. Once widowed, Shirley curated her final collection. Her entire apartment paid homage to Walt Disney’s most famous mascot and earned her the nickname: The Mickey Mouse Lady. She relished inviting the neighbors and their extended families to tour and share the magic.

Shirley leaves behind her children Debby, Diane, Dan (Debbie) and Denise (Steve). Grandchildren include Dan, David, Danielle (Brian), Kari (Jackie), Casey (Morgan), Jessica, Bryan (Stephanie), Darren (Jill) Amanda, Jason, and Graham. Great grandchildren are as follows: Danica, Dylan, Damion, Trey, Dominic, Charli Rose, Benny, Bo, Faith, Ryleigh, Stella, Cora, Braylon, Braxton, Aiden, Olivia, Beau, Gavin, Millie, Sofie and Scarlett. Shirley also leaves one surviving brother, Ray, along with his wife, Jeanne, and numerous nieces, nephews, grandnieces, and grandnephews.