Gillian Heather Lilley

Gillian Heather Lilley, or just Gill with a G as s she would tell you, was born on 24 September 1962 in the town of Welkom in the Orange Free State of South Africa. She was the second eldest of 5 siblings. She moved to George, South Africa where she grew up amongst a tight community. Her memories from George were the strongest, from being afraid of the nuns at Catholic school to being a member of the first class at York High School, the first English High School in George. She graduated from York in 1980. The friendships she made in George were strong and she was still in contact with many of them, now living across the world.

I met her around 1983 in Cape Town South Africa. She was dating a friend of mine from school. She told my friend “Tell Ian to stop making body language at me.” I was perplexed and answered, “Your girlfriend is weird.”

Since then, Gill has been part of my life. She has been my wife, friend, partner, lover and companion for the last 38 years. We created three amazing children and moved around South Africa, from the South to the North to the East. We then went further - to the Middle East, visited many countries over the years, and finally ending in Atlanta, Georgia. I think I scared Gill by just stepping into opportunities without knowing all the details, having the belief it would be an adventure and it would work out. And it was an adventure, as long as she and the kids were part of it. She held our family together, especially for an extended period when I was still having to work overseas. She joked with me that a lot of people thought I was dead and she was living with an imaginary husband.

All along our journey, Gill’s compassion for being part of our kids’ and grandkids lives, welcoming people and making them truly part of our family never changed. She would help strangers we just met, people we barely knew, and friends of our kids, bring them into our home and provide a place of safety and refuge. Nothing was asked in return, except be honest and below our roof is our sanctuary as much as it is temporarily yours. I cannot remember one place where we lived where this had not happened, even when we were traveling or on holiday. In some cases, it did not work out as planned, but we always picked up the pieces and were ready to do it again. Over the past few days, receiving messages from her friends showed me that they had been exposed to this love, this caring spirit, and how it has had an influence on their own lives. A truly remarkable gift.

Besides people, Gill’s life passion was ceramics. She had her first class when we had just started out as family in George and continued in each place we lived, even to this day. She joked that she had to keep learning so she could master porcelain, which she told me, seems to have its own mind. Frustrating as it was, she would not switch to an easier clay medium. That was Gill. She never took the easy road. She worked hard and kept going always. Her pottery was a canvas for her to show the world as she saw it through her eyes. She made each piece to capture the unique memories she had - from tall majestic mountains, crashing seas, desert storms, playing whales, tranquil forests, rivers and vistas where land meets water and sky. She did not believe in recreating the same landscape repeatedly and she never kept notes on how she created a particular tapestry. She had a mind full of pictures to draw from. She hated the idea of being a production potter and having to make mugs. However, when she made mugs, she did her own styled handles and used a kaleidoscope of glazes to create a backdrop of nature. She loved making castles the most, trying to recreate a fantasy she knew existed out there.

Throughout her life, Gill always reflected back on her memories and experiences and tried to share the lessons she experienced, both difficult and easy. With this in mind, we will forever remember Gillian as the caring, kind, colorful, and loving soul who blessed each and every one of us who came into contact with her, whether for a brief moment or for me, a lifetime. It however still feels too short.

Gill passed away unexpectedly, but peacefully at home on the 19 July, 2026.