Martha C Banks

Martha C. Banks was forged in the heart of a dying star. Born on Rancho Mata de Sandía near Reynosa, Mexico on July 29th, 1946 to Nicolas and Natividad Cavazos, she grew up on the ranch and then in Alamo, Texas with what her mother and father could provide. The prejudice of those times notwithstanding, she loved the United States. Although her parents could not contribute to her education, she completed high school by correspondence and, after following her sister to the Pacific Northwest, enrolled in Chemeketa Community College in Salem, Oregon.

It was while studying at Chemeketa that she met a young Neil Banks. He asked her out and they began dating. Despite Neil wooing her by taking her to see 2001: A Space Odyssey, they continued their relationship through Martha’s graduation and reception of her Associates Degree in Office Management. After years of Neil’s unrelenting pursuit, on June 24, 1974, in Hidalgo County Texas, they were wed.

Some dreams, when they are big enough and warm enough, serve as a luminous beacon signaling safe harbor… Neil enlisted rather than finish school, and so Martha became an Army wife. Though her childhood was simple, and her life married to an enlisted man far from lavish, her dream of a close loving family and a more prosperous life for her children was soon to be realized — in October of 1975 they welcomed their first son, David. After some struggle to become parents a second time, Erick was born April 1979. Her dream had become real; as a mother, Martha shined brightly.

In a devastating blow to their burgeoning family, Neil suddenly fell ill in 1983 and passed three languished, quietly agonizing years later. Rather than dwell in her disasters, this loss galvanized Martha. She collected the broken shards of her dream and went to work. Instead of searching for another husband, she dedicated herself to the people already in her life – her family and friends. Alchemizing this ill fortune into something new in ways not fully known to anyone still living, Martha became both Mom and Dad to her two sons. She managed her financial situation so well she never needed employment for steady income, providing her family everything a comfortable life required: birthday parties, extracurricular lessons (music, martial arts), overseas vacations... in short, all the requisite trappings of middle class. This miracle she performed as a foreign-born, single mother, with no graduate degree, whose first language was not English.

Filled with an abundance of maternal love that extended well beyond her own family, Martha was regarded as a surrogate Mom to many throughout her life. If you visited her home you were fed, hungry or not, both in body and soul. When someone needed a word of encouragement, a hug to let them know they were valued and loved, a sympathetic ear, or a plate of tacos, she willingly offered. Her home was open and she was a safe harbor for all who visited. She ceaselessly tended to her sons, friends of her sons, her sister’s or niece's children, her brother, volunteered at her children’s schools – even her own mother lived her final years under Martha’s care. Martha’s house was almost never empty, and that was by design. When the world fell apart she crafted one anew from the shards and heaved it upon her shoulders.

When her boys left for college she became a member of the Gold Star Wives (a club for widows of armed service members). She traveled to the nation’s capital as one of the representatives of the Oregon chapter, making new close friends along the way. And yet, when asked to consider becoming the president of the chapter, she declined. Martha was never one to seek attention or command the spotlight. It was her way to toil on the periphery. The work was its own reward. However, when asked about her work (or often forgoing the asking), be it volunteering at various schools, organizing clubs, or raising children, Martha was quick to praise herself for her efforts!

If motherhood suited Martha, she took as great if not greater joy in being a grandmother. With no regard for her increasing age and declining energy, she spared no effort for her grandchildren Madison and Rachel. When they were little the slightest fuss earned them a lollipop. If they awoke at three in the morning, Martha would take them to the kitchen and make pancakes.

In February of 2024 she was diagnosed with cancer and entered hospice care the following October. Martha, who often proclaimed “No one should live past fifty,” passed away peacefully on November 11, 2024, in her home at the age of seventy-eight, surrounded by friends and family.

A foreigner, alone, from humble birth, raising two boys, without gainful employment: statistically speaking Martha very likely could have raised progeny that were criminals or addicts. By sheer force of love and will she defied those odds, and gifted her children with more education and opportunities than she had access to. Her legacy endures in the men she raised, and the assortment of children and adults she cared for. She loved people deeply, but quietly, and left them better for it (and certainly less hungry). We will miss her deeply, but rather than mourn, we celebrate who she was.

Some stars, when they are big enough and warm enough, end their lives in a collapse that results in an intergalactic luminous beacon – a fantastic display enriching the universe. As such a star dies, so Martha lived.

In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Gold Star Spouses (Wives) of America https://goldstarspouses.org/donate