James R. Jay

James R. Jay, 83, passed away peacefully at his home April 7, 2023, in Floresville, TX while recovering from a heart attack and a long battle with Parkinson’s. It was his desire to die in his home and his daughter, Sarah, made sure his wishes were honored.

He is preceded in death by parents, John E. and Lena M. Jay; his daughters, Stephanie Nell (Jay) Hill and Jordan Jennifer (Jay) Fisher; and sister Peggy Joan (Jay) Pitman.

James is survived by his daughter, Sarah Middleton Jay of Floresville, Tx; grandsons, Grayson and Camden Fisher of Rockport, Tx; his brothers, John O. Jay, Joe Jay, and Frederick A. Jay (Cheryl) of Pagosa Springs, Co; and his uncle, Jerry Morse (Marie) of Luling, Tx.

He was born February 19, 1940, in Alice, Texas where he graduated from high school in 1958. He went on to earn a bachelor’s degree with a commission in US Army intelligence from Texas A&I University in Kingsville. While on active duty, James graduated from the US Army Infantry Officer Basic Course, Airborne training and several other military schools. Serving in the US Army, including deployments in Germany and Vietnam, he rose to the rank of Captain. During his military career, he received numerous medals, awards and commendations including; National Defense Service Medal, Parachutist Badge, Army of Occupation Medal (Berlin), Army Commendation Medal, Vietnam Service Medal, Republic of Vietnam Campaign Medal and a Bronze Star Medal. He was released from active duty in 1969 with an Honorable Discharge.

Education was important to James, and he believed that the study of history was essential. He wrote an autobiographical memoir, giving his personal account of his experiences in the Vietnam War. His non-fiction book, Special Orders, is primarily about his combat tour in Southeast Asia. In the book, he shares perplexing stories and incidents that made no sense to him intellectually or morally - reflecting the futility of our nation’s efforts to prevent the loss of that small country into communism. His experiences in the war zone of that country stayed with him over the years, and PTSD was a resulting consequence that impacted his personal and professional life. He shares his story to help provide closure and healing for himself and others.

Early in the 1970’s, James worked for an insurance company in Houston, Tx and later for J. Storm (an offshore marine drilling company out of Corpus Christi) as a safety man. During the 1980’s, James took a consulting job with a company based in Pittsburgh where he became successful helping nonprofit organizations raise money. He became an independent contractor in 1991 and continued his career as a nonprofit fund-raiser until his retirement in 2010. Over the years he implemented strategic planning and managed capital campaigns for YMCA’s, hospitals, libraries, churches, and universities. Often, he volunteered his services to assist nonprofits, especially those just starting out. He had a talent for helping people with creating goals, identifying resources, and turning dreams into reality. One of his favorite nonprofit organizations in San Antonio is Tex Hill Wing - Commemorative Air Force. He helped the founders and the leaders with their overall organizational structure and with their move from Hondo to Stinson Field in San Antonio.

James also enjoyed being outdoors, especially hiking and camping. He respected nature and continued his education, becoming a Texas Master Naturalist. He loved to travel to West Texas and Big Bend, where he would rough it for a couple nights, then stay at the Gage Hotel, Paisano or Cibolo Creek Ranch. Whenever he traveled, he made sure to peruse through antiques shops, looking for vintage fountain pens. He was an avid collector of these pens and was very good at writing and sharing handwritten notes with family and friends. When visitors came, he often gave pen sets to those showing an interest.

James took his role as a father very seriously. During his marriage to Sandra Herod, he was blessed with his first daughter, Stephanie, in 1965, and second daughter, Jordan, in 1970. He loved them very much and tried to provide them with a wonderful life growing up. The grief of losing both of them in his lifetime was completely devastating to him. He held on to his faith in God to help see him through such tragedy.

During his marriage to Sheryl Middleton, James experienced fatherhood again with the birth of his youngest daughter, Sarah, who came along in 2004. By then, he was also “PaPa” James to his grandchildren, and he enjoyed planning and providing educational experiences for them. He was a supporter of the arts and museums in San Antonio, including the McNay and the Witte Museum. One of his favorite pastimes was taking his youngest daughter Sarah, and grandsons Grayson and Camden, to see exhibits, tour the Institute of Texas Cultures, Children’s Museum and bookstores. Also, these outings helped James stay physically active. He strived to stay fit and eat right, always encouraging family members to embrace a healthy lifestyle.

James was a lifelong Baptist and member of Trinity Baptist Church in San Antonio, Tx. One of his favorite bible verses was Philippians 4:4-7 NIV “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God, And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” He dearly loved for his family to attend church with him. Sunday lunch and eating out in general with family was another one of his favorite pastimes. He was extremely proud of his children and grandchildren. While at home, he enjoyed listening to bluegrass music and sitting outside, visiting with everyone on his back porch, watching the deer run, foxes play and listening to the birds sing. He will be greatly missed by his family and friends.

MEMORIAL SERVICEFRIDAY, MAY 5, 202311:30 A.M.PORTER LORING MORTUARY1101 McCULLOUGH AVENUE

Inurnment at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery.

Click here to livestream the service of James. R. Jay