He was preceded in death by his by his loving wife of 60 years, Maria Aurora (Montalvo) Graham; an infant son, James Robert Graham (September 1964); his parents, Oklahoma educator W. W. Graham and Verda (Bland) Graham and sister Helen (Graham) Boren of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. He is survived by his two sons, Jeffrey Graham and wife Allison, with daughters Bethany and Lillia of Aldie, Virginia, and John Russell (Jay) Graham III and wife Jean, with children James, Kay, and Kara of Flower Mound, Texas; sisters, Charlotte (Graham) Barnes of El Lago, Texas, and Verdonna (Graham) Timmons of Tulsa, Oklahoma.
John attended schools in Little River, Ada, Holdenville, Paoli, and Washington, Oklahoma, graduating high school in 1952. He earned a Bachelor’s degree from the University of Oklahoma in 1956. He volunteered for the draft, served two years of active duty in the U.S. Army, and continued in the Army Reserves before transferring to the Air Force Reserve in 1967. Commissioned as an officer, he retired as a Lieutenant Colonel in 1983.
His federal civilian career with the U.S. Air Force began in 1958 as an aircraft communications repair helper at Tinker Air Force Base, Oklahoma. He advanced through roles at Kelly and San Antonio Air Materiel Areas in Texas, earning an MBA from the University of Utah. In 1972, he moved to Headquarters Air Force Logistics Command at Wright-Patterson AFB, Ohio. Subsequent assignments included Civilian Personnel Officer at Ramstein Air Base, Germany; managing 16,000 civilians at Tinker AFB; Division Chief and Director at Randolph AFB, Texas; He was promoted to the Senior Executive Service and served as Deputy Director of Civilian Personnel at the Pentagon; and Director of Civilian Personnel for U.S. Air Forces in Europe (another four years in Ramstein Germany). He concluded his career as Chief of Air Force Civilian Personnel at the Pentagon, retiring in September 1995 at Randolph AFB.
John loved his work, the Air Force, and the opportunity to serve his country. He met Maria on a blind date in San Antonio and often called her a blessing from God—love at first sight. He was deeply proud of his sons’ military service, their wonderful wives, and their families. A dedicated professional, he was often the first in the office and the last to leave. In his free time, he enjoyed reading the daily newspaper, family travel, boating at Medina Lake, and watching Spurs basketball, University of Texas, and University of Oklahoma football. He was a longtime member of University United Methodist Church in San Antonio.
The family will receive guests from 11:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. on Friday, March 6, 2026, at Porter Loring Mortuary, 1101 McCullough Avenue. A memorial service will follow at 12:00 p.m. Inurnment with Honors will take place at 2:00 p.m. at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery.
In lieu of flowers the family request donations be made to the Cure Alzheimer’s Fund at curealz.org
