Mary was and will continue to be a role model/mentor for me….During our pre-covid visits and outings this gracious and dear friend shared beautiful memories, at the same time, expressing gratefulness for her FAITH , her parents, her brothers, her children, her grandchildren, travels, education, etc. She often repeated how privileged she was to have had the life God gave her. In addition to the memories, Mary continued to savor the present moment and the gifts “it” brought to her…mangoes from Mike, a family get-together organized by Patsy, postcards from her traveling granddaughter, the view of Horseshoe Bay, a hot fudge sundae at Jim’s, etc.  I am now the privileged person, remembering with gratitude and love Mary Sloan Holstein! Carol Maloney Reyes

‘Do not stand By my grave, and weep. I am not there, I do not sleep— I am the thousand winds that blow I am the diamond glints in snow I am the sunlight on ripened grain, I am the gentle, autumn rain. As you awake with morning’s hush, I am the swift, up-flinging rush Of quiet birds in circling flight, I am the day transcending night. Do not stand By my grave, and cry— I am not there, I did not die.’

Mrs. Mary Sloan Holstein is one of the several, powerful women I have come to identify as my ‘Mothers.’  Although I cannot claim to be one of the first in line to be touched by her loss, I am perhaps among the second-in- line as the only daughter-in-law she ever had.  And mother me in that capacity she did, generously and lovingly.      From that limited vantage point, then, I would like to offer a few snapshots that illustrate why she left such a mark in my life: *The first time I met her she was in her living room, doing a modified-yoga head-stand to perfection.  It would be decades before I embraced a Yoga-practice myself, or understood its benefits, but at that moment the sight of her represented a major paradigm-shift for me, a 19 yr. old Mexican kid: I had never known a 60+ year old woman who would want to do head-stands, I had never seen or known a 60+ yr. old woman who didn’t consider herself ‘old’ or was proactive in keeping herself fit because she had a busy life outside of the home.  *During my second year in college I found myself overwhelmed by life and decided to drop out.  I was 21 at the time and Señora Mary had by now been my mother-in-law for about two years.  Ever the pragmatist, and with tact unwarranted by my immaturity, she offered me my first ‘real job:’ Claiming that her schedule was too busy to take on one more student for tutoring after work, she entrusted me with one.  This seminal experience taught me two things:  that I could teach and teach well and that I could put a talent to work and actually earn some money. Other than watching my pupil grow, the pride I felt at making my first money through a talent I had was the greatest gift from that experience.   *When Natalie - Natasha - was born our connection moved to a different level.   Because of my own relationship with my grandmother, I understood that the birth of her first grandchild had great meaning for her, and that a grandmother/ grandchild relationship was special and important.   I decided then that I would respect that relationship, no matter what.  I think she understood and appreciated that.  We both had an important common goal now: to make sure this baby would do well in life, no matter what life delivered.  And life would, eventually, deliver.   Señora was not one to shy away from giving her opinion about anything, including child-rearing practices.  Food and the proper way to feed a child became obvious topics and targets. When I didn’t ‘pick up the hints’ she simply changed her strategy: she started feeding me.  For a while I was relieved from ‘kitchen duties’ when she would cook for us.  That’s how I came to try some of her amazing, no-nonsense-but- uber healthy, delicious  food.  In the process I also learned how to cook and love vegetables, how to bake a mean apple pie.  Years later Natalie, knowingly or not, would manifest ‘the apple pie’ gene :-) Like many other grandmothers, she was Natalie’s first ‘baby sitter.’  As a seasoned educator of the young, Señora instinctively knew how to relate to Natalie the toddler.  As soon as she could walk Natalie knew where to find ‘her toys’ at grandma’s; when we picked her up she had clearly enjoyed whatever activity Grandma had devised.  Even after the mind has long forgotten the details of what happens when we are very young,  I believe the heart remembers and my hope for Natalie is that she finds solace in the thought that this important bond was created and great love was exchanged during those visits.   The crucial, central importance of education for surviving and thriving was a value we both shared.  When Natalie’s talents unfolded Sra Mary encouraged me to do all I could to give her opportunities to develop.   When she could, without relieving me or Michael of our parental responsibilities,  Senora lent a generous hand funding those opportunities.  Great lesson and example. * An unforeseen and  unlikely point of coincidence was our common faith.   We both identified ourselves as Christian.  We never defined what we meant by that but knew that our faith was central to our lives.  I admired her commitment to her spiritual path, the foundation perhaps of all her other endeavors.    Our contact may not have been regular or plentiful but was always meaningful and honest. I have kept some of the birthday, Mother’s Day and Christmas cards she wrote to me over the years.  They remind me of conversations we had and are a testimony of the trust and warmth that grew between us.    Today I am extremely grateful for her presence in my life, I extend my deepest sympathy to the family and pray that comfort will come to all through the sharing of sweet memories.

My grandmother was an amazing woman, and I was incredibly lucky to have had her shape my formative years.  I have fond memories of being at her apartment often, where she would make me chicken soup (and sometimes, on lucky occasions, a ham) and we would work on math problems together.  What she gave me, in addition to the structure and the math skills, and what I did not fully appreciate until much later, was my assumptions:  because of my grandmother, I grew up assuming that hard work is normal, and making excuses for myself was not; that taking care of myself, independently, financially and otherwise was normal;  that excelling in school is to be expected; that traveling the world, even as a young lady, was a part of life not to be feared; that paying attention to one's accounts and finances even at an early age was a standard part of anyone's routine.  Because of my grandmother, I grew up fearless in a sense - I did not worry that personal circumstances or issues of gender would hold me back, because she showed me by her example that self-discipline and education could overcome all barriers.  I have lived a richer life because of her, and it is my sincere hope to continue to follow in her example.  I will miss her. -from her granddaughter, Natasha Charron

In honor of the beautiful life of Mary Holstein and our cherished relationship with Pat and John. May these three trees remind you of our love!

REMEMBERING YOU MAR Y HOLSTEIN ALSO OUR BELOVED ROBERT  SLOAN !!! YOU BOTH HAVE ALWAYS BEEN IN MY MIND AND DEFINITELY IN MY HEART!!!  FOREVER!!!

Mary Holstein was a devoted friend and supported us in all kinds of educational events. She was an especially spiritual member of the lay Associates of the Missionaries of the Sacred Heart. She loved music and especially enjoyed the music her daughter Patsy arranged to have performed for her birthdays at the Forum. She was one of a kind and we will miss her cheerful and intrepid spirit.        Cheryl McMullan

OBITUARY

Mary Sloan Holstein

February 20, 1917 – September 6, 2021

Porter Loring Mortuary - McCullough

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