Mary Elizabeth Mcpheeters

Mary Elizabeth McPheeters passed into our Lord's care on August 19, 2001. Mary was born and raised in Massachusetts. She completed her nurse's training at St. Elizabeth's Hospital, Boston. She married then 1st Lt. James H. McPheeters in 1946. For the following forty years, she dedicated her life to keeping a warm and loving home for her family in various corners of the world at many Army posts, too numerous to list. Mary took much pride and joy from the family and friends that touched her life through the years and from the memories they shared. She was preceded in death by her husband of 44 years, James H. McPheeters and her loving memory survives in the hearts of her family: sons, James H. McPheeters, Jr. and wife Lynn, and Kenneth L. McPheeters and wife Debbie; grandchildren, Brian and Shelly, Robert, Lee, Steven, Kyle, Scott and Krystal; great grandson, Patrick; sister, Dorothy Talbott and husband Robert; brothers, James Westcott and Joseph Westcott; and numerous nieces and nephews.

ROSARY

THURSDAY, 7:00 P.M.

ST. MARK THE EVANGELIST CATHOLIC CHURCH

MASS

FRIDAY, 10:00 A.M.

ST. MARK THE EVANGELIST CATHOLIC CHURCH

Interment will follow at Fort Sam Houston National Cemetery. The family invites you to leave a message or memory in the Guest Book by going to www.porterloring.com and clicking on Remembrance Registry. Arrangements with

PORTER LORING MORTUARY NORTH

2102 NORTH LOOP 1604 EAST

SAN ANTONIO, TX 78232 - 210-495-8221

Eulogy for Mary McPheeters

August 23, 2001

On behalf of Mary's entire famiy, thank you for joining us tonight.

We have come to be here out of a common sense of loss and grief. We have lost someone very special to each of us all and unfortunatley, there is no escaping this sad reality. We have each reacted to the loss of Mary McPheeters in our own way and we have had much of this week to adjust to her passing. It would be better if we could all gather under happier circumstances.

But, Mary has, indeed, gone on before us; confident in what lay ahead. Now, it falls to those of us who remain behind to remember her and deal with our loss. This is a time for closure for each of us. Gathered together this evening as we are, this moment offers an ideal opportunity to collectively celebrate the life of Mary McPheeters with an appreciation for how much she enriched our lives.

The Lives and Times of the Greatest Generation

In celebrating the life of this lady, I believe it is important to consider the world and times in which she lived. Born in early 1919, she grew up in the aftermath of WWI. She experienced the depression as a pre-teen in a large Catholic family on the outskirts of Boston. Being students of history, both Ken and I are constantly reminded that much of the film we watch on the History Channel appeared as mainstream headlines in the newspapers of her daily life. For example, given the transportation of the time, I can only imagine her adventurous spirit and the impact on her family when she relocated to Miami to practice nursing. As if that was not enough, she later followed her nursing career to Santa Monica where she met the McPheeters clan and eventually married the love of her life.

As a brand new bride and Army wife, she followed her husband to post-war Germany and saw first hand, the devastation and impact of that war; arguably the most significant even of her century. It was in this setting, far from her New England home and family where she delivered her first child. Later, in the early 1950's, she joined our father in Japan, at that time, was still recovering from the war. Soon thereafter, while posted in northern New York, she had her second child, a mere half-day's drive from our home at Camp Drum. Mary created a home for her family in Alaska as it achieved statehood, in Hawaii where we evacuated for tidal waves, and on a host of Army posts from coast to coast as well as on subsequent postings to Europe. You collect a log of memories and friends when you bridge half the world over more than a half-century. I'd like to touch on some of Mary's many circles of family, friends, and acquaintances.

First, there is her family, a wealth of 10 brothers and sisters and seemingly countless nieces and nephews. Her surviving siblings, Jimmy, Dotty, and Joe could not be with us here tonight, but we know they are with us in their thoughts and prayers. The stories Mom could tell about growing up in that large household. One story in particular concerned the family's regular "Sunday Drive" where parents George and Elizabeth and all the kids piled into the Model A for a drive in the country, generally to a picnic site. On the way home from one such outing, my grandmother was counting noses and came up one short. They returned to retrieve one of Mom's brothers, crying but unhurt. Sounds like something out of a Disney movie, doesn't it?

Along with her family, there is the treasured collection of long time friends of the family, many of whom extend back to early Army days and postings from around the globe. These names and their stories have been part of the fabric of family for as long as Ken and I can remember. Many of these friends carry the status of "Aunt" or "Uncle" and we grew up with these "military gypsies" suddenly appearing to spend and evening or two with us as special guests. On such occasions, there were always wonderful stories to listen to, even if it meant slipping back to within earshot after we had been tucked into bed. I envy my brother who was able to meet many of you as an adult in our family and "legally" participate in these after-dinner reminiscences. For you dear friends of Mary and Jim, always remember how much you were treasured by our parents. Thank you for your long friendships.

More recently, the special fraternity of Hollywood Park neighbors

and friends were a particular delight for our mother. After years of PCS moves and government quarters, she was finally able to settle in her own home that seemed to accommodate Mary, with her Jim and Ken, and oh yes, Franz. This was a wonderful place for her to pursue her gardening and to arrange her treasures "just so." These were happy times for them and you neighbors and friends added the flavoring o the "right place" at the right time for them all. Mom especially enjoyed watching the Wendel's grow up and I swear she spoke of you as she did of family. To the other special neighbors and to the many friends of Ken, both personal and professional who Mom also adopted, thank you for making this family's experience on Ridge Trail so exceptional. There were so many of you special people in and out of that house that was beyond me to keep track of the many names, faces, and stories between my visits home from the Navy.

Ken and I also want to recognize our many friends who adopted our mother over the years. Your calls, your notes, your visits and best wishes, all made her feel very special. Although too many to single out, we thank you, one and all. Another special group of friends during Mom's years in San Antonio centered around the "St. Mark's Regulars," particularly those of you who staffed the "counting tables" each Monday. I was pleased to be able to meet many of you after Sunday Mass on my visits home. After so many years of frequent moves and the non-denominational military chapels, our mother was delighted to finally have a parish to call home. I soon learned not to bother trying to catch her by phone on Mondays, as that was her day of work at church counting the collections from Sunday. We had great fun teasing her about her handing all of this great wealth and I will always regret that I was unable to find a gift of a green eyeshade visor with which to tease her; the kind that dealers wear in a casino. For the St. Mark's community, that you for giving Mary a much-valued spiritual home and for your friendship.

More recently, Mary made a while new group of friends at Independence Hill. You were just the right friends at the right time in her life and she spoke so well of the staff and neighbors in your community. Soon after moving in, she eagerly shared stories of her new friends, the warm conversations around the dining room, and of your excursions together. She very much enjoyed her time at Independence Hill and we are so thankful that you were her neighbors. Thank you very much for your friendship.

And now for some words and thoughts for Mary's family.

For all Mary's grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, you have been priceless gems for your Grandma. Her Irish eyes would light up like Christmas tree bulbs whenever she would speak of you. She wanted to know everything that was going on in your lives and you delighted her on countless occasions with your calls, your gifts, and especially your visits. Kenneth and I are very pleased and proud that you were so thoughtful and generous toward your Grandmother, and we know without a doubt that your Grandfather was looking down—so very, very pleased with you. We love you all so very much. You are still the gems of this family.

We have video of your Grandma Mary, so her voice and image have been preserved for you and your children. Unfortunately, we can't show you what she was like when we were children. But as you watch reruns of "Leave It to Beaver," your grandmother was as wise, as beautiful and as fashionable as the Beaver's mother, June Clever. I am telling you the absolute truth when I tell you that she was freshly dressed in a dress and high heels when your grandfather came home from work each night. True story!

I ask you to take some time next week and write down your favorite stories and memories of your Grandmother so that you can share them in the years to come. I promise you it will be important to you some twenty years from now. And if God is as wise as we believe He is, it will not be long before there is the enticing aroma of Grandma's brownies wafting about the heavens.

For the daughters-in-law, Ken and I cannot begin to thank you enough for sharing our mother's burden of managing the McPheeters men. We thank you for joining our family and for being so good to Mom. Lynn and Debbie, none of us may ever know what a joy and relief it was for Mom to finally see her sons happy and settled with ladies that she knew would forever take care of her boys. And Debbie, you have earned your place with the angels for the care you have given Mom, particularly during these recent months. Thank you. Mary's sons love you very much.

Ken, our mother did a lot of things well, but nothing ever better than she did in giving me you for a brother. Now, while ours was not always a brotherly love-in, we share stories and outings of our family that will keep us in stitches for years. Stories of Mom fishing, driving in the snow, gardening in the Texas heat, and always trying to put the right punch line in the right place with the right joke. Mom relied on you for so many things and you have been there each and every time. I am filled with love and pride for you. You must own a special place in her heart and spirit; a place of honor that has been so faithfully earned. Thank you for being there for her these many years. You are the BEST!

And so Mary McPheeters has passed from each of us in our respective roles and relationships. I

have reserved for last my thoughts on her best, and I believe her favorite role. I am speaking of her role as wife and lover with our father. Jim and Mary McPheeters never got over each other. Theirs was a rich, warm, life-long love affair that grew with every season. You had to see it to understand the depth of her feelings.

From the day our Dad passed away, I don't believe that there was ever a day that went by that Mom didn't think about rejoining her love in the hereafter. They were soul mates forever and always. She really believed that. And from our last conversations with Mary, it was quite clear that she saw the approach of her passing as a realization of her faith and a necessary transition to rejoin her husband. She literally glowed with that thought. Now, she is not only freed of the pain from her mortal body, but she is renewing her spirit. Got speed, Mom. And God love you.

I believe that there is a balance in this life between good and evil; between those who are primarily the takers, and those who are primarily the givers. I have always thought of our mother, our matriarch, and our friend, as one of those peacemakers who are primarily a giver. Hers was not a flamboyant, meteoric life but rather a steady life that gave comforting light and warmth for those around her. I know the world is better for her being here with us and we are the poorer now for her passing.

Good night, dear lady, and farewell. We love you and we will miss you very much.

And may God hold you in the hollow of His hands, forever. Amen.