A tribute to a fine woman who encompassed all that a mother should be. She set a fine example to all who knew her on how to live life.

During the last several months, I have been reminiscing about so many occasions over the years that I enjoyed the pleasure of Rita?s company. As I pondered all of these memories, I realize that, collectively, they portray a lady that, when she let her hair down, so to speak became an adventurer, a good sport, a little mischievous, and most of all, a whole lot of fun to be with. So I selected a few of these episodes to share with you that will let you see what a character Rita was. I will begin in 1977, when Rita decided she was going to buy Michelle a swing set for her 2nd birthday. She bought it here in San Antonio so we had to figure out how we were going to get it to College Station, where we were living. We borrowed my mother?s big Plymouth sedan, placed the narrow but very long box in the back seat with part of it hanging out the window, Rita, Michelle, and I headed for College station, worrying all the way that the part hanging out the rear window might not quite clear the side of the very narrow 2 lane bridge on Hwy 21 in Caldwell. But it did, and we got it to College Station in one piece Pat was on an oceanography cruise at the time, and I just presumed that he would assemble the swing set when he returned. But Rita had a different plan?.she did not want Michelle to have to wait for her swing set. So we dragged the box around to the backyard, opened it now those of you who have assembled a swing set know that there must be at least 4,000 pieces. I said ?No Way? were we going to get that thing put together by ourselves ?I would not even know where to begin. But I wasn?t Rita. By the end of the day, in the near 100 degree July heat of College Station, Michelle?s swing set was standing and fully functional. Rita had, nearly single-handedly, assembled that swing set, while Michelle cheered her on, and I provided free flowing ice tea. That was when I first realized, and witnessed on many subsequent occasions, that she had a mechanical ability that far exceeded a typical 55-60 yr old female, which enabled her to assemble all kinds of complicated furniture and toys. And, boy, was Pat surprised when he returned from the cruise and found a swing set in our backyard!! Another story that came to mind took place in 1978, when Rita and Les came to visit for Michelle?s 3rd birthday on the 4th of July. They also brought Rita Margaret and her boyfriend. Well, our 2-bedroom duplex could not accommodate everyone for sleeping. So Rita Margaret and her boyfriend decided they would set up the pup tent that my mother had given Michelle as a gift and sleep out in the backyard. A pup tent, mind you, is a rather small tent. When Rita heard about her daughter?s intentions, she had an intention of her own: she insisted on joining them out in this little tent lest there be even a suggestion of impropriety. It was a sight to behold when, the next morning, there were the three of them ? Rita Margaret, her boyfriend, and her MOTHER all cozy in the little pup tent in the backyard! Rita was very kind to my mother after my father died. On occasions she would bring my mother to visit us in College Station. We would then all get in the car and drive to Ft. Worth to visit my sister Patricia, and go to Six Flags. We figured the two moms and Patricia would go shopping and to dinner while we took Michelle to amusement park. Well, we figured wrong, because Rita wanted to accompany us to the amusement park. Now a typical 60 year-old grandma would be happy to stay with little Michelle, who was about 4 or 5 years old, while Pat and I rode the roller coasters we figured. But, again, we figured wrong. Not this 60 yr old grandma! Rita wanted to ride the roller coaster, too. So what happened was PAT stayed with Michelle while Rita and I rode the roller coaster. And this was not one of the sissy roller coasters; it was the BIG ROLLER COASTER! And we did not ride it just once, but she insisted that we go get back in line to ride it again. And I can tell you that she thoroughly enjoyed every minute! Here was this 60ish yr old lady, acting more like 16.And when you consider that Rita experienced episodes of Vertigo throughout the years, this was a very gutsy activity for her to engage in. Then one day on a visit to an amusement park, while we waited in the long line to board the roller coaster, as we approached the sign that warned?If you suffer from high blood pressure, heart disease, back problems, motion sickness, etc., you should not go on this ride. She looked at me, looked up at the sign, hesitated, and then said to me, ?I better turn back.? At that moment we both realized, sadly, that, in her 60?s, Rita?s roller coaster days had come to an end. Another one of Rita?s adventures took place a few years later, when we were living in Indiana. Jim was about 7 years old, and totally captivated with Laser Tag, or Photon, during this time. So we gave him two sets for his birthday so he could play it with a friend. When Les and Rita came to visit us Jim showed Grandma the laser tag equipment and was explaining to her how it was played. Now we assumed that most grandmothers would be content to look at it, hear what happens in this interactive game, and say, ?How interesting.? But, once again, we assumed wrong. Not this grandma. AFTER Les went up to bed, Rita donned the helmet, Pat wired her up and turned on the switch, and Grandma and Jim ran throughout the downstairs of our house conducting their version of Star Wars. What really looked funny is that all the while she was wearing her moo moo! 
I do have pictures of this. When talking about Rita, I would be remiss if I neglected to bring up the topic of Scrabble. Rita was the Scrabble Queen. I know that one of her very favorite activities in life was she was sipping a cut of tea and playing a game of Scrabble. We spent many nights playing Scrabble until 3 or 4 a.m. after everyone else had gone to bed. The thing about Rita and Scrabble was that she always acted like it was just a social game, no big deal, with casual conversation taking place in between turns. Then, at some point in the game she would modestly declare ?Oh, I just have this little 3 letter word to make.? Then she would proceed to lay it down so strategically on a red triple score block, and end up getting 75 points for that little 3 letter word. After that, we might to finish the game as a formality, but I knew the competition was over for there was no way I could catch her. I always did wonder where skill left off and luck began, until one day I found out that Rita actually took the DICTIONARY TO BED WITH HER so she could MEMORIZE the Q and Z words, lest she be stuck with those letters at the end of the game. Now, if this doesn?t demonstrate a focused determination to win, I don?t know what does! I couldn?t believe it. In recent years, she acquired the computer game of Scrabble and she told me she would spend so many hours sitting at the computer playing against the computer that she could barely walk when she got up out of the chair. So whether Rita was baking Christmas cookies to distribute lovingly to her family I estimate that those hands baked tens of thousands of cookies in her 83 years, as we all have an impressive stock of colorful Christmas cookies tins in storage, or if she was participating in a friendly, low-key game of Scrabble, where she was kicking butt in her understated fashion, she had the ability to really enjoy herself. We have a culture of mother-in-law jokes in which mother-in-laws are portrayed as sinister characters I refer the recently released movie Monster-In-Law. However, I can tell you with first-hand knowledge that this mother-in-law was no joke; Rita was the real thing, a genuine, lovely person, who was a joy to be around. I am so grateful that she was a part of my life, and my children?s lives, especially while they were growing up. She loved all of her grandchildren, and truly savored spending time with each of them. She will be missed, but the memories are so vivid and leave me with such a warm feeling about the lovely lady that she was. So, Rita, I am imagining you up there, with one humongous Scrabble board and one large pot of hot tea, enjoying yourself in your own element.

Our mother is remembered for always being there for others. She was always for the under dog. This could sometimes take unexpected turns. I remember seeing her hurry through the house to the backyard with a BB gun. She was saving a bird from a stalking cat! Mom always knew how to take advantage of a situation when it presented itself. Alaska was not known for in its roads in the 1950s. So she took full advantage of a beautiful wide concrete highway as she drove contently ?down the Elmendorf Air Force Base runway! But we do best remember her for her service to others. The following is from the ?Servant Song.? She lived this ideal. ?let me be your servant. 
Let me be as Christ to you. 
Pray that I might have the grace 
To let you be my servant too. We are pilgrims on a journey. 
We are brothers on the road. 
We are here to help each other 
Walk the mile and bear the load. I will hold my hand out to you; 
Speak the peace you long to hear. I will weep when you are weeping. 
When you laugh, I?ll laugh with you. 
I will share your joy and sorrow 
til we?ve seen this journey through

I only found out about Rita Mary's passing on the morning of her funeral. Unfortunately I?m out of the country and unable to attend the celebration of her life here on earth and the beginning of her eternal life with God and the Communion of Saints in heaven. No other lady that I've known in my life possessed the same innocence, dedication to family, vigor, and sweetness that your mother had. The time that I had to spend talking to and being around her always left me feeling happy that there were still such beautiful people still alive. She loved her children so much and devoted her life to raising them. Her life with your dad and care she gave him can only show again the truly wonderful person that I will always remember as her to have been. If the Vatican ever takes nominations for sainthood, your mother will be at the top of the list. May her spirit of love and devotion be blessed by God and watch over all of you, her children and grandchildren, until you join together with her and the Communion of Saints in Heaven.

Condolences from the Mrs. John M. Fulcher Family, friends from St. Gregory's Parish, friends with daughter and spouse of son. The Setsers were of comfort to our family when John M. Fulcher passed on.

Please accept my deepest condolences. We used to have lots of fun while living next door to each other while raising all of our children. Will try to get by your house. 
love, clara

Kathy, we're glad that we were able to have a small part in Rita's life and able to help your family in caring for Rita. It was an honor for us to be able to take care of Rita during these last several weeks and to get to know your family. Thanks for entrusting her care to us.

We enjoyed working with your family. Sorry for your loss.

To the family, My family and I wanted to give our deepest sympathy and blessings in this time of sorrow. The Threat Family

Pat: My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family on the loss of your Mother. Teresa

OBITUARY

Rita Mary Setser

July 29, 1922 – August 23, 2005

Porter Loring Mortuary - McCullough

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