Mary Elizabeth Miller, age 102, passed away tranquilly at home with her loving son Fletcher and devoted daughter-in-law Jane by her side, on Friday, Dec. 27th, 2019 after a week in hospice.
Mary was born on her lucky day, Friday the 13th, April 1917 in Fargo, ND to recent Norwegian immigrants Johannes and Ida Mickelson. She was the younger sister to Esther, born in 1915. Mary graduated from Fargo Central High and attended North Dakota Agricultural College (now, North Dakota State University) for two years before marrying Robert Miller at St. Mark’s Lutheran Church, Fargo, on New Year’s Eve, 1937. They initially made their home across the river in Moorhead, MN, but moved to Wichita, KS in 1939 for employment.
Bob was active in the Kansas Guard in the early part of WW II, and worked in the aircraft industry, while Mary worked as secretary to the Director of the Office of Civilian Defense. In 1943 Bob enlisted in the US Marine Corps and was sent to San Diego for training followed by deployment to the Pacific. Mary soon followed and worked at Consolidated Aircraft while Robert was in the Philippines, followed by China, until 1946, a year after the war officially ended.
Mary held a variety of jobs during the late 1940s and early 1950s, one of which even involved delivering liquor, while Bob earned a law degree and went to work in the San Diego County Superior Court. During this time, they built and lived in a small beach cottage in Point Loma that still stands in its original condition. From 1953 until 1960, Mary worked as Secretary-Hostess for the Lutheran Service Center downtown where she helped countless young men in the armed forces stationed in San Diego.
In 1960, after 23 years of marriage, Bob and Mary’s life was surprisingly but pleasantly turned upside down by the arrival of son Fletcher, making Mary the oldest first time mother her doctor had ever seen. After leaving her job with a big send-off from the “boys” that was featured in the San Diego Evening Tribune, she and Bob built a larger house in Ocean Beach to accommodate the new arrival and Mary’s own mother, who was recently widowed. Mary resided in that home for the rest of her life, 57 more years. Neighbors and a sense of community were very important to Mary, and she was blessed with many caring neighbors over the years.
The family switched from First Lutheran to St. Peter’s by-the-Sea Lutheran Church in Ocean Beach after Fletcher was born. Mary sang in the choir, helped organize various functions, and was an active “church mouse” for decades. St. Peter’s became a loving home for her, especially after the passing of her own mother and husband, and the departure of her son for college and work out-of-state.
In 1972 when Bob became unemployed, Mary attended community college to earn a certificate and then worked in accounting at CalTrans for the next 10 years. She not only was caring for her own mother and son and maintaining the household, she was also the primary breadwinner. When Fletcher graduated from college in 1982, Mary decided she should graduate into retirement. She didn’t know it at the time, but she had stayed just long enough to earn lifetime benefits. How lucky that turned out to be!
After her mother and husband passed, Mary lived alone for 22 years, during which time she became active in many organizations in San Diego. She was an original member of the Spreckel’s Organ Society and loved going to Balboa Park after church to hear the organ concert and to help guide tourists through the park. Mary was very proud of her Norwegian heritage and was a member of the House of Norway in Balboa Park. She especially enjoyed the 17th of May celebrations. Mary also volunteered at the Lutheran Thrift Store, Seek’n Find, for many years and was a Friend of the Ocean Beach Library.
Mary and Bob loved to travel and camp, and often drove back to North Dakota for high school reunions and to visit Bob’s parents on their farm, camping all the way. Mom continued the traveling tradition after Bob’s passing, making three trips to Norway where she met relatives and toured the country from bottom to top. She also made some dramatic Elderhostel trips, and hiked to Havasu Falls in the Grand Canyon in her late 60’s. She especially enjoyed visiting Cleveland, OH, where Fletcher worked for NASA for 16 years. She came during all seasons to experience spring daffodil blooms, fall color on the maple trees, and winter snows making everything pure and white.
In 2007, when Mary turned 90, Fletcher moved back to San Diego into her house, making her the happiest woman in Ocean Beach. Jane joined the family in 2009, making Fletcher the happiest man in Ocean Beach. Mary took good care of Fletcher and Jane in those early years, shopping, cooking, and cleaning. Mary slowed down gradually (she is pictured here at age 98) and enjoyed having others take on household duties. The last six years she was assisted by wonderful caregivers from Senior Helpers.
Mary leaves us many fond memories and has passed on to us many lessons. Growing up during the Great Depression taught her that one should not waste anything and that one does not need a lot of possessions to be happy. She would never discard clothing that could be mended, food that was left over, or paper that could be used on the other side. Exercise was not something Mary believed in; she put her effort into work. Eschewing modern conveniences like a dryer, dishwasher, or gardener, she often credited her long life to hanging clothes on the line to dry each day or working in the yard. Mary relished making salads long before they were hip, and was a strong proponent of vegetables. However, she also made sure to have a dessert with each meal, normally cake and ice cream or chocolate, or both!
Mary is survived by son, Fletcher, daughter-in-law, Jane Manderscheid, nephew Robert Randall of Monrovia, CA, and his family, and many relatives in the US and Norway. There will be a Memorial Service on Saturday, Feb. 1st at 10:30 AM, at St. Peter’s by-the- Sea Lutheran Church, 1371 Sunset Cliffs Blvd., San Diego, CA, 92107, followed by a luncheon reception. The funeral arrangements are being conducted by Beardsley-Mitchell Funeral Home. Donations in lieu of flowers may be made to St. Peter’s by-the-Sea Lutheran Church or to the Spreckel’s Organ Society in Balboa Park.
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