From LisaI have always thought that my mom, Betty Moy, was really a class act. Her whole life she took care with her grooming, always brushing her hair before leaving her room, even in these last years. But certainly in her years of better health, she always wore beautiful clothes, especially to parties, was sure that her hair and nails were done, put on jewelry and (minimal) makeup, and for years, wore high heels despite walking up and down the hills of Chinatown.But even more important to her than her appearance, was her devotion to being a person of high class. She was kind, caring, generous, observant, inclusive, wise, and though discerning about many things and a little bit acerbic, was never mean in any way. She taught me that these characteristics are the most important things to have in life, and that in following her example, can make the world a better place.MomÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wisdom was often not appreciated by me immediately. A key example was that she saw right away what would be the best calling for me. When I told her I was going to go to medical school, she suggested I be an Ob-Gyn. My response was Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why would I want to look at peopleÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s bottoms all day?Ã¢â‚¬Â I left my Ob-Gyn rotation to last, at an away institution - not something you do when you want to apply for a residency position in that specialty. But then I loved it. She knew. During schooal and residency, she made a lot of effort to be supportive, coming to visit me wherever I was, shopping, helping with chores, and cooking for me and my friends. They always loved when Mom came to visit. She helped me learn the importance of, and how to build and support, circles and networks of friends.I frequently remember that Mom would tell us Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m cold - put your sweater on.Ã¢â‚¬Â Though we always found that pretty funny, today I hear myself telling my kids to put on a jacket because, in fact, I feel itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s cold. Not that they listen. Sometimes to their regret, I can say. But MomÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wisdom about everyday life I use and appreciate - how to shop for produce, clothes, shoes, kitchenware; how to care for clothing; how not to be wasteful; how to cook certain foods; how to be observant of the effect you have on others (and be polite!).Years before settling down, when I told her that I was sure I was going to be really busy trying to raise a family and keep a practice together, I asked her if she would take care of kids for me. She said Ã¢â‚¬Å“No,Ã¢â‚¬Â basically that sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d been there / done that. However, when in fact Jack and Emma came, she came to help and lived with us for 18 months. It was a real relief that Mom was able to come and help, and made my transition back to work tremendously easier.In between college and getting married, I had a long single life and I got to travel with Mom. There were plenty of places right up her alley like Europe and the Far East. But there were some that I think Mom said she wanted to come along on because she was worried about me traveling alone. When she saw I was planning a trip to the Galapagos, she said it looked like fun and could she come along? We went to the Amazon rain forest, the Galapagos, and Machu Picchu that trip. Another time we went to Greece and Turkey, going to several Greek islands and Ephesus as well as Istanbul. Traveling with Mom was really great - she was fun, up for anything, and never complained about the pace I kept up. And we always looked to eat in the best Chinese restaurant in the area. Mom never found anyplace as good as San Francisco, even in Hong Kong. Despite even eating at the House of Moy, in Providence, where French bread and green salad were served before dinner.As one of her children, I saw that she was truly committed to us - raising, helping, and guiding us, much by example. She continued this through her last years and to her last moments.Mom had been unable to participate in most of the things she loved in the last years of her life - dancing, traveling, reading, Mah Jong, cooking, knitting, even having a little wine. But she had a great value to us; WE loved having HER, and I think she knew and felt how much we loved her and wanted her with us. However, I think she hung around with us as long as she did, despite not being able to do the things she loved, was because she was a way to teach the next generation, our children, how to take care of us when we are older and in frail health.Then, she planned her own time to take her last trip - in a way that she thought would be the easiest for us, her children. When we moved Mom to Comfort Care only and had given her permission to go, I had also stated to her physician that I wanted to be absolutely sure that she was not alone when she left us and that I had a very strong desire to be present. Dad also wanted to be present. I wanted to be absolutely certain that her transition was easy for her, without pain or trauma of any kind.On her last day, I had spent all night holding her hand. Her condition had been stable, and in the morning, much of our family arrived. Her condition, as best any of us could tell - her nurse, and two physicians and a nurse from our family - was still stable. That morning we realized that Dad had not had any private time with Mom since her illness and we left him alone with her while family went to get coffee and I was to run home for a little bit. I had brought an overnight bag in case Mom was not stable enough to leave, but she looked unchanged. Earlier in the morning I had left her alone for 10-15 minutes to talk to someone in the hall, and she had been OK.Less than 10 minutes after I had left her room, while Dad was holding her hand, he realized she had stopped breathing and that she was gone. She left us peacefully, quietly, with Dad as he desired, as a witness, but without us, because perhaps she thought it would be too difficult for us. She was a very courageous woman, and so I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think she did that because it would be easier for her without us there. In her wisdom, she has almost always known what was best for us, and this how she expressed her love for us, even to her last breath.I am very grateful for everything she has done for me and I cannot convey the depth to which she will be missed.

Uncle Grant, GG, Mary K, Rick, Lisa, Michelle and family. What a lovely tribute. The last time I saw Auntie Betty she was her spunky self, which is how I'll remember her! Deepest condolences from Terry and me, you are in our thoughts and prayers.

What a wonderful obit for a terrific gal! Grant Sr., Grant, Peggy and family...we just loved Betty and have really been thinking about all of you. We fondly remember going to Costco with Betty and how she always HAD to have one of their hotdogs! Yet she always maintained such a petite, lovely figure. She could also talk about anything. We will miss her. You have our deepest sympathy. Becky and Joe Pomponio

Dear Grant, Peg, Dr. Moy and Family...
Our hearts go out to you all at this time of grief...Please know that we are thinking of you and praying that God will surround each and all of you with His love, peace, comfort and healing in the days ahead...
Bon & Bob

Dear Lisa,
Yes, it had been a while since we saw your Mom, but we got frequent updates, and we remember her well. She was a sweet, bright, graceful woman, and I will always remember her as a very kind friend and as a very proud and loving mother and grandmother.Michele tells us she was sweet to the end, which was such a consistent element of her nature. And as I think about her life, I see how lucky she was Ã¢â‚¬â€ lucky to have married your father, who gave her a happy and stable home; lucky to have raised such wonderful children and to have been around to watch them succeed; lucky to see her family grow and prosper and to live long enough to be rewarded with the coveted title great-grandmother; and, of course, lucky to have been afforded the dignity of living out the end of her life in the company of her family. She had a good life Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ a long life Ã¢â‚¬Â¦ and she leaves behind a wonderful tribe of accomplished and happy children and their offspring, which is her legacy. While sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢ll be missed, she should also be celebrated. Even as she struggled through her last years, she retained her kind nature and her mighty decency. We are saddened for you all Ã¢â‚¬â€ the death of a parent brings up complex emotions Ã¢â‚¬â€ but weÃ¢â‚¬â„¢re happy we knew your Mom for the years we did. She did a great job on this earth, and she fostered some great people whom we really cherish.May she rest in peace.
Fondly,
Jonathan

From LisaI have always thought that my mom, Betty Moy, was really a class act. Her whole life she took care with her grooming, always brushing her hair before leaving her room, even in these last years. But certainly in her years of better health, she always wore beautiful clothes, especially to parties, was sure that her hair and nails were done, put on (minimal) makeup, and for years, wore high heels despite walking up and down the hills of Chinatown.But even more important to her than her appearance was her devotion to being a person of high class. She was kind, caring, generous, observant, inclusive, wise, and though discerning about many things and a little bit acerbic, was never mean in any way. She taught me that these characteristics are the most important things to have in life, and that in following her example, can make the world a better place.MomÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wisdom was often not appreciated by me right away. A key example was that she saw right away what would be the best calling for me. When I told her I was going to go to medical school, she suggested I be an Ob-Gyn. My response was Ã¢â‚¬Å“Why would I want to look at peopleÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s bottoms all day?Ã¢â‚¬Â I left my Ob Gyn rotation to last, at an away institution - not something you do when you want to apply for a residency position in that specialty. But then I loved it. She knew. During school and residency, she made a lot of effort to be supportive, coming to visit me wherever I was, shopping, helping with chores, and cooking for me and my friends. They always loved when Mom came to visit. She helped me learn the importance of, and how to build and support, circles and networks of friends.I frequently remember that Mom would tell us Ã¢â‚¬Å“IÃ¢â‚¬â„¢m cold - put your sweater on.Ã¢â‚¬Â Though we always found that pretty funny, today I hear myself telling my kids to put on a jacket because, in fact, I feel itÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s cold. Not that they listen. Sometimes to their regret, I can say. But MomÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wisdom about everyday life I use and appreciate - how to shop for produce, clothes, shoes, kitchenware; how to care for clothing; how not be wasteful; how to cook certain foods; how to be observant of the effects you have on others (and be polite!).Years before settling down, when I told her that I was sure I was going to be really busy trying to raise a family and keep a practice together, I asked her if she would take care of kids for me. She said Ã¢â‚¬Å“No,Ã¢â‚¬Â basically that sheÃ¢â‚¬â„¢d been there / done that. However, when in fact Jack and Emma came, she came to help and lived with us for 18 months. It was a real relief that Mom was able to come and help, and made my transition back to work tremendously easier.In between college and getting married, I had a long single life and I got to travel with Mom. There were plenty of places right up her alley like Europe and the Far East. But there were some that I think Mom said she wanted to come along on because she was worried about me traveling alone. When she saw I was planning a trip to the Galapagos, she said it looked life fun and could she come along? We went to the Amazon rain forest, the Galapagos, and Machu Picchu that trip. Another time we went to Greece and Turkey, going to several Greek islands and Ephesus as well as Istanbul. Traveling with Mom was really great - she was fun, up for anything, and never complained about the pace I kept up. And we always looked to eat in the best Chinese restaurant in the area. Mom never found anyplace as good as San Francisco, even in Hong Kong. Despite even eating at the House of Moy, in Providence, where French bread and green salad was served before dinner.As one of her children, I saw that she was truly committed to us - raising, helping, and guiding us, much by example. She continued this through her last years and to her last moments.Mom had been unable to participate in most of the things she loved in the last years of her life - dancing, traveling, reading, Mah Jong, cooking, knitting, even having a little wine. But she had a great value to us; WE loved having HER, and I think she knew and felt how much we loved her and wanted her with us. However, I think she hung around with us as long as she did, despite not being able to do the things she loved, was because she was a way to teach the next generation, our children, how to take care of us when we are older and in frail health.Then, she planned her own time to take her last trip - in a way that she thought would be the easiest for us, her children. When we moved Mom to Comfort Care only and had given her permission to go, I had also stated to her physician that I wanted to be absolutely sure that she was not alone when she left us and that I had a very strong desire to be present. Dad also wanted to be present. I wanted to be absolutely sure that her transition was easy for her, without pain or trauma of any kind.On her last day, I had spent all night holding her hand. Her condition had been stable, and in the morning, much of our family arrived. Her condition, as best any of us could tell - her nurse, and two physicians and a nurse from our family - was still stable. That morning we realized that Dad had not had any private time with Mom since her illness and we left him alone with her while family went to get coffee and I was to run home for a little bit. I had brought an overnight bag in case Mom was not stable enough to leave, but she looked unchanged. Earlier in the morning I had left her alone for 10-15 minutes to talk to someone in the hall, and she had been OK.Less than 10 minutes after I had left her room, while Dad was holding her hand, he realized she had stopped breathing and that she was gone. She left us peacefully, quietly, with Dad as he desired, as a witness, but without us, because perhaps she thought it would be too difficult for us. She was a very courageous woman, and so I donÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t think she did that because it would be easier for her without us there. In her wisdom, she has almost always known what was best for us, and this how she expressed her love for us, even to her last breath.I am very grateful for everything she has done for me and I cannot convey the depth to which she will be missed.

OBITUARY

Betty Lee Moy

May 13, 1922 – January 16, 2016

Green Street Mortuary

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