Barbara Jean Epperly

Barbara Jean Epperly passed away at home in San Rafael on December 23rd, 2024 at age 82. Wife to Gary L. Epperly for 60 years until his death earlier in the year on July 7th, Barbara is survived by her son Daren, her daughter Pamela (Roger) Harrell and grandchildren, Caitlyn and Logan Harrell.

Barbara was born in San Francisco on July 1st, 1942, first child of John and Ruth Falconer. Three years later, Barbara became a big sister to twin brothers, Ron and Gary. She grew up happy in a home on Sanchez Street in a wonderful neighborhood full of children her age.

Barbara met her future husband Gary at Mission High School. She was a mature young lady who knew what she wanted in a man, and upon first impressions, Gary was clearly not it. His “too cool for school” attitude did not click with Barbara's personality and she rebuffed his advances. Barbara was eventually won over by Gary after he proved his love for her by working hard to clean up his image. She graduated high school in 1960 and, while Gary continued attending college having graduated a year previous, Barbara almost immediately entered the work force at “Ma Bell”, the colloquial term for AT&T and the Bell System of telecommunications companies.

Barbara supported Gary through his college career and stood by his side when he made the decision to attend police academy. Eventually marrying in December of 1963 and settling down in their first home on Colby Street, newlywed Barbara was left home alone for the first several months of their marriage when Gary enlisted in the United States Marine Corp due to the growing conflict in the Vietnam War. But, in 1968, the couple welcomed their first child, Daren, and desiring to raise children outside of "the concrete jungle", a year later the family of three moved just north of the big city, to a lovely community in Terra Linda of Marin County, where they remained for the last 55 years. Just a few years later, in 1972, the couple welcomed their daughter Pamela.

As a full-time stay-at-home mom, Barbara devoted herself to raising the two kids. Working tirelessly as Gary's late shifts and long hours kept him away, she ran a tight ship by establishing clear routine and household responsibilities for the kids, providing a safe and nurturing environment for them to grow. While the kids were little, Barbara took up the hobbies of bowling (just like her dad) and making paper mache pinatas, as well as serving the whole family as a personal hairstylist, setting in-home perms. During those early married years, having children did not keep her from throwing amazing Halloween parties, helping organize winter Tahoe getaways, and hosting raucous Pedro games. Barbara was a social butterfly and sincerely valued her relationships with family and friends. She was intentional in nurturing the friendships she had – planning fun dinner dates, supporting family and friends' job promotions, graciously serving as a bridesmaid many times, and organizing parties and road trips – earning Barbara the affectionate nickname Cruise Director.

As the kids grew older and became more self-sufficient, Barbara desired to integrate back into the work force. Wanting to continue involvement with her children and their schooling, she decided to volunteer for Yard Duty at the local elementary school, allowing her to keep a watchful eye on her kids as well as introduce herself to some of the school's staff. She was a natural with the students and her strict discipline combined with her warm and caring demeanor proved her an invaluable asset on the playground. It wasn't long before Barbara was sought after as a district employee. In 1978 Barbara became an Instructional Assistant for a kindergarten class at the Dixie Elementary School in Lucas Valley. This began a long, satisfying career of assisting teachers in the Dixie School District. Over the course of 35 years, Barbara served more than 15 teachers, in 3 different schools, with children in 1st, 2nd & 3rd grades. By the time she began teaching at the newly-minted elementary school Vallecito in 1985, she was a well-respected and influential leader in the Instructional Assistant community.

As Barbara's career thrived, she continued caring for the kids through leading Boy and Girl Scout troops, supporting athletics like soccer, ballet, gymnastics, dance and swimming, attending band concerts, hosting Haunted House themed birthday parties and sleep-overs. You could easily pick out the enthusiastically encouraging Barbara on the pool deck or on the sidelines of a soccer pitch. She equally threw herself into serving the greater community. She was active in the school's PTA, instrumental in organizing fundraisers and events. She was deeply involved in the neighborhood's recreational swim team, initially serving as the Assistant to the Announcer and eventually becoming the Co-President of the organization. She also served in her church as co-leader of the Women's Ministry and as the Chairman of the Board for the pre-school.

Barbara always presented herself as a well put together, classy, refined lady, who also happened to love flashy sports cars. She enjoyed all kinds of music and would frequently sing along with her favorite tunes while driving. She was a huge San Francisco team sports fan (just like her mom), cheering loudly for the Giants, and unabashedly harboring a crush on Joe Montana of the 49ers. And though she was super busy with motherhood, teaching and volunteer work, she continued to hold in high priority her relationships by forming a “club” affectionately dubbed The Marinites, comprised of her closest girlfriends, all mothers of her children's classmates.

But above all else, Barbara was a loving and devoted wife who thoroughly enjoyed her husband's company best. Whether by supporting his crazy characters for the infamous Mother/Daughter Banquets at church, or creating and performing hilarious roasts for numerous friends' big birthdays, anniversaries and retirements, she was the yin to his yang. She loved spending time with him cruising the coastline in her convertible, seeing the Oak Ridge Boys at Konocti in Clear Lake, camping at their beloved Burney Falls, and embarking on cruise vacations around the world. But she especially enjoyed being First Mate, sitting in the co-captain's chair of the boat, ready to hand out beers and snacks.

Those of us who knew Barbara and were touched and inspired by her unwavering kindness and gentleness, her selfless service to the greater community, her deep love for family and friends, her devotion to her husband, children, and grandchildren, and her limitless passion for educating young people, will treasure the time we had with her, and we will remember her always, keeping her memory alive in our hearts.

A celebration of Barbara's life will be held at Marin Covenant Church, 195 N. Redwood Dr. in San Rafael on Saturday, March 29th, 2025 at 1:00pm. In lieu of flowers, memorial donations may be made to the Alzheimer's Association.