Dorothy Elaine Primeau Mason

I want to thank you for coming today to celebrate our Mom’s life. What a privilege to be able to speak about our Mom, the women who so freely gave her whole self to each of us, her family.

Our Mom loved her church, her friends, bingo, euchre, old movies, anything Disney, visits from family and friends, daisies and cardinals. But above all, she loved and cherished her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Her family always came first in everything and she loved us unconditionally, with no expectations.

She was truly a remarkable woman, a loving mother, a proud grandmother and great grandmother. She was our guiding light, our friend, our confidante, and she taught us by the way she lived. She was selfless, kind, compassionate and giving and saw the world as a gift from God. She saw the good in everyone and in every situation. Mom was our greatest fan and encouraged all of us to be the best we could be. Her hugs and cuddles, could ease a sore throat, calm a crying baby, cure a headache and heal a broken heart. Our Mom was love itself in every form of the word.

For those of you who didn’t know, our Mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago. We asked her to share what she wanted once the disease progressed and she wrote her wishes down that day. She told me that I would know it was time for her to go into care, when she gave me back the blue watch and ring I had given her years ago when I was just a teenager.

Her initial decline was difficult and she was so sad at losing her memory and for the changes in her personality. She would often say, “That’s not me!” -

“Why did I say that?” - “Why did I do that?” She asked me, “Why has God forgotten me?” I told her maybe God knew that we still needed her here with us.

When we knew she could no longer live on her own, Mom moved in with Bonnie and Gordon. It was hard for her to give up her independence and we are so thankful that Bonnie, Gordon and all of their family, were there to care for Mom and love her through the first difficult stages of Alzheimer’s. I visited her often and one Sunday morning on one of my visits, she crawled in bed with me and in her hand was the blue watch and ring, I had given her years ago! I told her it wasn’t time, but she said, “I am afraid that if I wait any longer, I will give these back to the wrong daughter and I want you to take them now”. We cried together that day and I knew the next journey was going to be hard.

Turned out our Mom was able to stay with Bonnie and Gordon for two years before moving back to Sault Ste. Marie and Maple View became her home for the last three years of her life. During that time, we visited as often as we could and we shared with each other every detail of our visits, so we felt we were still connected to our Mom. Steven, Michael and Cathie became regular visitors and what a blessing they were for our Mom, our Dotty.

Alzheimer’s is a nasty disease in that it takes our loved ones little by little and we learn to love them where they are at. In our family this was easier in a way, because it is exactly how our Mom taught us to live and to love. It is how she always loved others (exactly where they were at, with no expectations). Our Mom had a huge capacity to love. She taught us to love with an open hand. So we were free to just love her and be with her, through each stage of her decline, just the way she was with no expectations. Still at almost every visit, she had moments of just being the Mom we remembered. But being raised by her, we were blessed in knowing we could love her through anything, even Alzheimer’s! She was still the beautiful, wonderful, kind, loving women she always was and she was still our Mom, our Dotty.

By seeing things through her eyes, during this time of decline, I learned to appreciate the very small details of her life. I learned to really see a seagull for the first time, when she proclaimed one day while we were at Bellevue Park, how beautiful they were and that I should look closer at their yellow eyes and the colour of their feathers. Needless to say, I now love seagulls! My Mom was still teaching me to be mindful and thoughtful.

She still loved flowers and watching the birds from her window or on walks with one us, especially Michael. She still loved babies and got to hold her two new great grandchildren Norah and Spencer. She still loved sitting and watching the trees, listening to music and even enjoying a game of Jeopardy with Michael and Steven. She still watched old movies and listened to music into the wee hours of the night, as she had always done. I could still tell her my family news, sing songs with her and share in her life. I learned that it didn’t matter if she forgot I had been there or not, because we were living moments in time and I was cherishing every one of them. She lived in the moment and I learned I could live those moments with her. I learned how to love the women she was now, the women she was becoming and still the women she was before the disease. This beautiful woman our Mom was still there.

On one of our last outings, I took my Mom to Precious Blood Cathedral not knowing if she would even remember what it was like to be in a church. It was a Saturday and the church was empty. I took her in and we sat down and immediately she whispered, “shhhhhh” and I realized she knew we were in church. She picked up a hymnal and it opened at ‘Morning Has Broken’ and she started to sing. Needless to say I sang along with her and she sang the whole song, in tune yet! I felt blessed that day to spend this time with her. This was one of those special moments I will never forget. We all have our own special memories of this time spent with her and I hope that we will have time to share these memories with each other even today.

When Mom wasn’t feeling well we would have a sleepover at Maple View and on one of those nights, she was very restless and I woke up and sat on the side of her bed and held her hand. It was dark and the blind was closed, so I didn’t think she would see that I was crying. But she reached up and wiped the tears from my cheeks and said, “Don’t cry honey, everything will be okay”. I laid down beside her that night and she rubbed my hair and comforted me and she whispered, “I love you”. At a time when she rarely said a full sentence with meaning, she was there to comfort her crying daughter. Here was my Mom still being my Mom and I thanked God for every moment that I still had with her.

Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her and long to hear her voice, to hear her laugh, to hear her sing, to lay with her and listen to her heartbeat, to look into her beautiful blue eyes and tell her how much I love her and to hear her whisper, I love you too. To let her know we are all okay and that although we miss her she lives on in each of us. I want her to know how thankful and proud we are to call her our Mom. I thank God every day that he blessed us with her, our Mom, our Dotty.

But for today, for this day, she would say, “Please don’t mourn my death, don’t be sad, don’t cry, but celebrate my life. Share fun stories, share memories, sing, dance, laugh and enjoy this day together”. So, we will do this Mom, today is truly a celebration of you and we know that Heaven has another angel watching over us. Always and forever, we love you to pieces!

Love Mary Catherine

Love You Grandma Dot

When asked if I would represent the grandchildren today, my first reaction was to say no! Speaking in front of others is way out of my comfort zone and I felt that I wasn’t good enough to do the job. But then, I started to think about the type of person Grandma was – how loving and strong she was – and this overwhelming feeling of ease came over me. I could hear her say, “You can do this,” and I knew that without a doubt that I would do this for her because she would have done anything for me. So, it is with great honour that I tell you about what she was like as a grandma.

When I asked my son what came to his mind when remembering her, he said, "selfless". I think this is a perfect word to describe her. She gave freely. She loved freely. You knew that no matter what, she would be there for you.

She was our number one fan. Anyone who knew her, knew how much her grandchildren meant to her. She cheered for us, delighted in our triumphs and supported us through our hardships. We felt her unconditional love and knew that even if she didn’t agree with us, she would always be in our corner.

She was fun. She played with us. She taught us card games. She played piggy toes and sang songs to us. She shared her love of bingo with us, let us make forts with her furniture, allowed us to have countless tea parties with her treasured tea sets, put pennies in our pockets, taught us to bake and let us play with her special trinkets. There was nothing off limits at Grandma’s house.

One of my most precious memories of her is her relationship with my own son. She loved his visits and spent hours having tea parties and teaching him how to make biscuits. I’m so thankful that he was able to make these lasting memories with her.

She made us laugh. She had a great sense of humour and had funny little sayings such as, “Eat your crust, it will put hair on your chest,” or “You’re damned if you do and damned it you don’t,” and one of my personal favourites, “Sit on it and rotate.” She had an infectious spirit that made those around her feel good.

When we needed comfort, there was no place better than in the warm embrace of her arms. She would often say, “Climb up on my water bed.” There she would hold you, rock you and sing to you for as long as you needed her. She had the patience of a saint when it came to crying babies or sick children. She would sing countless lullabies and rock them until they drifted off to sleep. I have sweet memories of her soothing voice singing, 'You Are My Sunshine' and 'I Love You a Bushel and a Peck'. All of us as grandchildren have experienced her loving arms.

Growing up although we lived far apart, we would talk forever on the phone. She took the time to listen to a confused teenager – always reassuring and compassionate. She encouraged and taught me to be strong and to believe in myself. She supported me through some of the toughest times in my life. When I had my miscarriage, she called me everyday for months: months…just to see how I was doing. This was the type of person she was: strong, loving, and selfless … a comforter.

I loved her with all my heart and I am forever grateful for the time I had with her. She was and will always be, our Grandma Dot.

Love Melannie

A Tribute to Aunt Dot – Love and Laughter

I have been very fortunate to have always had Aunt Dot in my life. She spent a lot of time with my Mother and Father at their apartment and would often look after me. Often when she would be at our house my Dad would go the Dairy and buy us ice cream! What a treat that was!

I have to admit that I was in awe of her – her 20” waist and her sparkling personality. When she met Tom Mason it was – Love at First Sight. When she met Tom they would jitterbug and he would twirl her around the floor – they commanded everyone’s attention. They loved to dance and when they were on the dance floor the entire audience would stop to watch them. I can still see them doing the jitterbug – it was like something out of a movie.

They married and became parents to Tommy, then Bonnie and then Mary Catherine. Life was not easy. Tom worked at Algoma Steel, but with three young children it was necessary for Dot to find a part time job as well. I’m glad she did because she started to work at the Agnew Surpass shoe store and hired me to work weekends and after school – I was 16 at the time. One of my jobs was to wash the windows and next door at J.D. Mitchells, there was a young man who also washed the windows. Aunt Dot teased me about him but we never talked to each other, even though we walked the same way home every work night. That September, I went to the Palm Gardens with friends and there he was – we talked, danced and he asked me out on a date! One date spiraled into many dates and three years later we married. Mary Catherine and Lauren were flower girls and Aunt Joanne was the Matron of Honour. Thank you Aunt Dot!

One of my favourite stories about Aunt Dot revolved around her, Aunt Joanne and I being sent to the Dominion Store on Queen Street where the CIBC is now. We were told what to buy – not too much – just essentials but Aunt Dot kept seeing things that we had to have! On the way back to Aunt Isabelle’s a strong wind came up and caught Dot’s skirt and sent it swirling up in the air where it caught on her pony tail clip. Now she had both hands full of bags of groceries, her skirt is caught up in the back and a fair bit of skin is showing! She was embarrassed, we were embarrassed and Aunt Joanne and I decided to ignore her, go on our way and leave her there. We couldn’t do it so we turned around and there was Dot backed up against Virene’s Department Store windows. I understand that there was a run on underwear the next day! When Dot saw us she tried to bend over and drop the groceries but the oranges on the top of the bag rolled out and down the street – then everything else seemed to shift and fall! We picked up what we could but by now we were laughing so hard that we were afraid that we would pee our pants! One of us did, but I won’t tell you which one!

Dot’s life was not easy – she worked hard and now had six children with the addition of Steven, Shari and Susie to look after. All the responsibility fell on her and like everything else she took it on! Many a day she worked at her job, came home, cooked dinner and listened to her children discuss their day. She was fortunate that her children were so supportive of her and they always found something to laugh over. They would help out around the house and as Dot was a neat freak, they did their share. You never knew how many children would be there as the door was always open to anyone, friend or relative. She lived for her family.

Our families stayed close over the years and we always kept in touch. Often she would look after my children so that I could go to work. We were never too far from each other. As my family grew I knew that if I needed anything, I just had to pick up the phone and I hope she felt that way too.

Dot’s smile could and did, light up a room. She always looked after everyone first and then she took the back seat, until in her later years when the family took over looking after her. What a wonderful job they did. In the nursing home she was surrounded by mementos of her family – from blankets, plants, pictures and countless other personal touches. In the last few months conversation was very minimal and she would start a sentence but often couldn’t finish it. Sometimes she would sit quietly and then reach over and take my hand, look me in the eyes, smile and say “I love you”. What do you say to that! It is no wonder that I had to keep going back to see her!

What I learned from Dot is that no matter how bad a job may seem or how much you don’t want to do it – you can find a positive somewhere if only you can laugh and smile at yourself.

She raised a loving, caring family under difficult circumstances and she loved it and excelled in it. Her heart could reach out to anyone and often did. She had a heart bigger than the world and twice as much love in it.

She will be missed but never forgotten - her life lessons will be with us forever – laugh and love and things will appear to be much better – you can do it. You have laughed and been loved and have loved in return.

Thanks Aunt Dot for sharing, thanks for caring and thanks for loving us all – You were and still are the BEST!

Love Cathie

Aunt Dot

There are lots of things I could say about Aunt Dot, but the one thing that sticks in my mind is her card playing. Dotty was an avid 500 player and I was her partner most of the time.

Here is the scenario…..

She deals …. Tommy bids 6 no trump…. I bid 7 clubs…. David bids 10 hearts and Aunt Dot bids 10 no trump! I still do not know why - but a few words were said!

Now she is in Heaven …..

She deals …. Her partner is God and they are playing against Peter and Jesus. Again, the bidding comes to her …All of a sudden you hear THUNDER … So now you know - when you hear thunder – SHE DID IT AGAIN – bid 10 no trump without the joker!

Anyway, we all knew Aunt Dot, some as Mom, Ma, Mommy, Mama, Grandma, Gramma, Granny, Dorothy, Dot, Aunt Dot, Auntie, and lets not forget the ever popular Snotty Dotty. Through all of these names we will remember her. One thing we know for sure, SHE WAS A GOODER! Thanks Aunt Dot.

Love Michael

MASON, Dorothy Elaine – Peacefully surrounded by loved ones on Friday, January 19, 2018 at the age of 86. Predeceased by Thomas Samuel Mason. Loving mother of Steven, Bonnie Guertin (Gordon), Mary Catherine Poste (Andrew), Sharon Smith (Wayne), Susan Drouin (Larry) and the late Tommy. Cherished grandma of Aaron (Amy), Melannie (Christopher), Stephanie (Michael), Andrew (Linda), Stephen (Rebecca), Spencer (Krista), Bryan, Corey (Chelsea), Darren (Lisa) and David (Crystal). Proud great grandma of Harrison, Emma-Lynn, Spencer, Norah, Kaylan, Tyler, Ben and Hope. Predeceased by her parents Joseph and Catherine Primeau and her siblings Isabel Beaudoin (late Willard), Gordon Primeau (late Joyce), Harold Primeau (late Evelyn), Ken Primeau (late Bea), Doris Souliere (late Bert), Vivian O’Donnell (late Bill), Marjorie Beaupre (late Fred) and Stella White (late Mike). Dear sister of Doreen Proulx (late Doug) and Joanne Daly (late John). Also survived by many nieces and nephews especially Michael and Cathie. A visitation, memorial service and reception will be held at the Arthur Funeral Home – Baron & Kiteley Chapel in May 2018. Details to be announced later. Memorial donations to the Alzheimer Society would be appreciated. A special thank you to Extendicare Mapleview for the care and compassion given to our mother.

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MASON, Dorothy Elaine – Peacefully surrounded by loved ones on Friday, January 19, 2018 at the age of 86. Predeceased by Thomas Samuel Mason. Loving mother of Steven, Bonnie Guertin (Gordon), Mary Catherine Poste (Andrew), Sharon Smith (Wayne), Susan Drouin (Larry) and the late Tommy. Cherished grandma of Aaron (Amy), Melannie (Christopher), Stephanie (Michael), Andrew (Linda), Stephen (Rebecca), Spencer (Krista), Bryan, Corey (Chelsea), Darren (Lisa) and David (Crystal). Proud great grandma of Harrison, Emma-Lynn, Spencer, Norah, Kaylan, Tyler, Ben and Hope. Predeceased by her parents Joseph and Catherine Primeau and her siblings Isabel Beaudoin (late Willard), Gordon Primeau (late Joyce), Harold Primeau (late Evelyn), Ken Primeau (late Bea), Doris Souliere (late Bert), Vivian O’Donnell (late Bill), Marjorie Beaupre (late Fred) and Stella White (late Mike). Dear sister of Doreen Proulx (late Doug) and Joanne Daly (late John). Also survived by many nieces and nephews especially Michael and Cathie. A visitation, memorial service and reception will be held at the Arthur Funeral Home – Baron & Kiteley Chapel in May 2018. Details to be announced later. Memorial donations to the Alzheimer Society would be appreciated. A special thank you to Extendicare Mapleview for the care and compassion given to our mother.