The past few months spent visiting with Grama in the hospital was devastatingly sad. She would have brief moments of happiness, recognition and comprehension, but for the most part by the time I arrived out here, the strokes had done irreparable damage to her sharp and remarkable brain. We spent weeks in the hospital with her in silence. Holding her hand, helping her get comfortable, playing music for her, trying to talk to her to stimulate her memory, feeding her and getting her to drink to build up strength; these were just some of the things we spent day in and day out trying to bring Grama back to who she had been, just weeks before.Some days there would be a glimpse of her sense of humour and her smile, but for the most part this final journey was not with the Grama I knew and loved. She was there in body, but her mind and some days her spirit, just weren't with us in the room. I am grateful that she is now at peace, but I wish I hadn't taken all of those years, visits, letters and phone calls for granted. You just never know when someone's voice will be silenced forever.

I wish when I was younger, I had realized how precious and important Grama's wisdom for life, treasured recipes and vast genealogical knowledge was. Until the very end her passion and knowledge boggled my mind. At 90 years of age she could connect, reach for and explain almost any branch on our huge family tree just off of the tip of her tongue. I can barely keep straight our first cousins, so I was always in awe of her memory and the details she could draw out of her ‘files'.

Two summers ago when we scraped together what we could to make a short, but important trip out to visit Grama and Grant and our other family out here, I had the absolute joy of introducing my newborn daughter Emma to Grama. She cuddled Emma as much as she could in that week. Feeding her, rocking her, not worried at all if Emma started to fuss, she was just so happy with a baby in her arms. She was equally patient and good humored with our 4 year old son, with his blonde hair, blue eyes and disarming grin, he quickly earned the nickname “My Little Charmer” from Grama. This is how all of his cards were addressed from then on.

Our visits have come full circle. Most of Philip's and mine childhood summers were spent out here sharing visits between Grama and Grampa on the farm (Russell and Eleanor) and my Mom's family in the Sault and now we bring our own kids out here to the Island for summer break. As kids, we always stayed on the Island and no matter where we bunked out, we usually had dinner at Grama's house.

Grampa and Grant's filthy hands from their work in the garden were of little concern to Grama as long as they got to the table not long after she rang the dinner bell to call them in. Dinner was always an elaborate production, but not always to the taste of this picky city kid, but there was no room for spoiled kids at this table. There was always bread in the basket if there was nothing else I would eat. When there were more Uncles at the table visiting and the conversation was starting to get out of hand, all Grama would have to say would be “Oh Come On Now” or “Pshaw”, and the boys were back in line. She wouldn't often say much during dinner as she would be fussing over making sure everyone was served and satisfied, or putting on the pot of tea to go with dessert, but she would quietly take in all of the conversation and banter. She would sit in her spot in the armchair at the head of the table listening and often grinning with delight at having so much family together in one room.

Over the years we delighted in Grama's vast dessert repertoire and I'm so glad that during our last visit, we sat down together and got copies of some of the family favourites. One flavour of pie was not enough of a dessert offering and usually on top of that, there were date cookies or fruit cocktail cake, or just maple syrup over vanilla ice cream.

After dinner, the boys would settle in the living room and watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy, while whatever female family was stuck with the clean up and the dishes. I used to resent having to stand for what seemed like forever washing the dishes by hand, but Grama wouldn't have it any other way. She wasn't a subordinate in the house, but she had her jobs and so did Grampa, and as was traditional during her childhood and early adulthood; cooking and cleaning was woman's work.

While Philip spent his childhood following Grampa and Grant around in the Gardens, I was much more content to pass my time in the house. Grama and I would spend the afternoon, each of us quietly devouring whatever book we were each in the middle of. As I got older, I tried to get more of that precious family information from her and her tips for being a good person and a good Mom. Often when I spoke to her on the phone from Edmonton and I was feeling overwhelmed or exasperated with two kids, I would comment to her that I couldn't fathom raising 5 boys like she did. She would laugh and say, they were good boys and they were outside most of the time! They kept each other busy while Grama tended to their home.

We shared a love of books, cooking, baking and writing, but we also shared a common tie that was less idyllic. We both lost our Moms while we were still in our teens. I cannot express how much Grama's support and help meant to me after my Mom passed away. She had gone through a much tougher time after her Mom passed away, basically being left to care for the home and raise her two younger sisters, but she still went out of her way to phone more, check up on us and offer any advice that I would accept. She was my saving grace. In my hastened attempt to transform from child to adult overnight, she was always only a phone call away if I got stuck in a recipe that I didn't understand or if I needed help or tips on anything. If I just needed someone to talk to, she would be there for me.

A month before I got married in Grama and Grampa's garden, my Dad arranged for Grama and I to go on a trip of a lifetime together. It started out as a fantasy and Grama could scarcely believe that it was coming true, but at the age of 80, she was finally going to visit the birthplace of her Mom in Switzerland. Family heritage and history being such a huge passion of Grama's, this trip was indeed a dream come true and was she ever a trooper! On our long flight overseas, she couldn't sleep a wink, because she was just so excited! She was like a child waiting for Christmas morning! We went and visited her cousins in Ponte Tresa, Switzerland. From there we had a day trip out to Milan, Italy at my request and her journal states that although the town was dirty and smelly and busy, the Il Duomo cathedral was remarkable and she was glad that I suggested we go. Then we drove with her cousin to Zermatt, home of the Matterhorn and we went up 3 gondolas, nearly to the peak of the Matterhorn. There was one more, but after 3 gondolas, I was queasy and green, but Grama was game for more. She and Rico had a lunch of sausage and potatoes at the top of the Matterhorn, while I just tried to keep breakfast down! She seemed to have no fear of anything. She was so grateful for the experiences and was so determined to remember each moment, that she didn't let anything go by without noting it. We wrapped up our trip with a trip to Thun, the town where her Mother was born. This was a short, but very emotional leg of our journey and I think for Grama it was the pinnacle of the trip.

What I cherish most from our trip is not archived in photographs or journals, but is etched in my memory. We had so much time to talk to each other, to actually get to know each other. I learned so many things about Grama, her family and her childhood, that I don't think I ever would have, had we not gone on this incredible journey together.

While I will forever treasure her family recipes, her historical notes, her book and the many photos of us over the years; her at our wedding, snuggling our babies and that epic photo of the two of us near the peak of the Matterhorn, I will cherish most, the memories in my heart. As Anne of Green Gables, the heroine from the books she encouraged me to read and relish, Grama was a true “Kindred Spirit”. I hope to grow up with a fraction of the strength, dignity, intelligence and grace that she carried herself with and I hope the next time I get flustered or frustrated with daily life, I hope I can draw on her most simple, sage and sincere advice: “Count Your Blessings.”

I love you so much Grama. The Island won't be the same without you, but we'll make sure the bell still rings for dinner in the summer and the kids don't end up head first in the pond!

Love Always from your Granddaughter,

Audrey

My Grandmother was the best she treated me as an equal and believed in my strengths.  I remember having many dinners at Granma and Granpa's house there was never a time when you left the table hunger.  Although I was never a big fan of deserts (and there was always deserts at the table,) there was one I enjoyed the most, Peanut butter balls.  One year in my birthday card she included the recipe.  Now I am going to share it in here.

PEANUT BUTTER BALLS
1/2 cup margarine
2 cups peanut butter, beat well together
Add 1lb. icing sugar, gradually
3 cups Rice Crispies

CHOCOLATE FOR DIPPING PEANUT BUTTER BALLS
1 1/2 Cup  chocolate chips
1/2 square of wax
3 squares of unsweetened chocolate.

Melt over bowling water in a double boiler and dip finished peanut butter balls in chocolate.  (Don't get the chocolate too hot. melt it, don't cook it.)

Mix all together, make into balls about the size of walnuts, or smaller.
Then dip into chocolate on the end of a tooth pick or skewer.

Makes about 93 balls.  They will keep in refrigerator.  They will not melt as the wax does not run.

Thank you Granma for all the cherished memories.
Love you your grandson Larry.

Your voice told me to be strong, When everything was going wrong. I need your voice to keep me here, but the pain of your your loss is just to dear. I will try to keep my spirit strong, but mom just tell me how long. 
I know the pain was too much for you, but I still ask why did you have to leave so soon. I miss you so much and the phone does not ring anymore.
My Everlastingly Love
Valerie

Sending deepest sympathy to all the Adcock family at this difficult time. May you be comforted with memories of happy times and in knowing Eleanor is at peace.

Sorry to hear of your Mom's passing. She was a lovely lady and you folks were good neighbours on the C-Line. Our sympathy to you all.
Maridel [Powis] and Bob Crawford-Brown Kelowna BC

Eulogy Notes
Thanks to nurse Ingrid and Chaplain Ruth at the Sault Area Hospital for making Mom's last days more comfortable and for easing our own pain by treating us all with respect.

I am proud to say Mom, Eleanor, lived life to the fullest:
• Romantic and Philosopher
• Poet and Painter
• Sage and Mentor
• Counsellor and Healer 
• Cook and Nurturer
• Advocate and Lobbyist
• Naturalist and Gardener
• Historian and Curator
• Air Force Veteran, proud to serve

As such she was a role model of how to live the good life.

Her Moral Character 
• Built from hardship and challenges, not comfort and convenience.
• A tight knit extended family where it really was a village that raised the child.
• Self-discipline seasoned by the duty of farm work; cousin Greg Ellison checked and found it was actually 3.9 miles to old stone school
• The loss of her Mother when she was 17 and the losses of her two infant sons Ian and Dale. 
• Metal was tempered by hardship of the Dirty Thirties and World War II and the Civil War, i.e. challenges of raising five rambunctious boys.
• Her devotion grew deeper each year in the perfect pairing with our Dad, her husband Russell.

Some of Mom's Favourite Things
These are a few of Mom's favourite things, simple touch-stones of truth and goodness:
? Tea, ice cream, maple syrup and clean fun
? Picnics and Walks in the woods
? Swiss heritage food and music
? Family visits
? "Balance and moderation in almost everything"
? "Variety is the spice of life"
? “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”

Family
• Happily married for 60 years, a perfect pairing of spirits
• Mother of 5, grandmother of 6 and great grandmother to 8 young ones
• Excellent cook and homemaker
• Reluctant disciplinarian – “it hurt her more than it hurt me”
• Mom always had room for one more – Cliff
• Binding influence that keeps things together - Mom always created an aura of order in the midst of chaos – Grant
• “Nutshell philosopher” - Dennis
• True Royal dignity and grace - Gary

Curious about the world, loved to learn about:
• People, human nature, human affairs, history
• Nature, Whipoor-will,and lady-slippers
• Certified Master Gardener
• Stayed current in pop culture, especially the Royal family, through news and magazines

She Passionately Pursued Virtue, Reason and Wisdom
Virtue is not merely the absence of vice, but the pursuit of the full goodness in the human potential
• The good life, because it makes sense
• Get in touch with that sense of empathy
• “You wouldn't want someone to do that to you. How would you feel if someone did that to you?”

Pursue reason and wisdom, not because they are simply right, but because they lead to the good life.  While virtue defines the good life, reason and wisdom guide the way.

She had it all.
? Patient and Tolerant
? Balanced and Moderate
? Reverent and Dignified
? Compassionate and Empathetic
? Honour and Duty
? Modest and Humble
? Honest and Forthright
? Generous and Kind
? Calm and Graceful
? Forgiving and Forgetting
? Direct and Diplomatic
? Loved to laugh and put things in Perspective
? Balanced Hindsight, Insight and Foresight
? Common and Uncommon sense
? She was a saint

What do we learn from Eleanor Adcock?
She brought forward old world values and made them relevant in today's complex, sensual and impatient world. Universal truths and values do exist, though we may disagree on what they are, but we cannot give up on the search and we must make a conscious effort to maintain the progress that we do make.

We, as a civilization, have made tremendous progress over the past 100 years.  We started out the last century with 90% of the population living self-reliant on family farms. In today's increasingly complex world, I believe, we are losing sight of our traditional pathways to the good life.  That does not mean that all the old ways were right and today's are wrong. It requires some effort to sort out these things.  Don't simply accept what is given unless and until it makes sense to you.

In my own words, Mom would have said something like “Reflect and meditate”. Get in touch with your inner voice. Practise being comfortable with solitude. Take a stroll without a camera and capture the magic of the moment. 
There are many roads to the good life. And many dead ends. Explore life and get good at living.

Mom's advice: Find a good hobby. Read more books on your favourite subjects. Spend more time with your favourite people. Routinely listen more than you talk.  Cultivate your interests and explore activities that capture your imagination. Become your own best possible person.
We are social animals. We need each other.  Take the time to build trusting and lasting relationships. It often takes time to work past conflicts to find the treasure of a rich relationship. Social skills get better with practise and you will develop a deeper appreciation of people in general. Life can be very sweet.

She was courageous to say what needed to be said, preferring short term pain over long term loss. Progress comes at a cost.  Avoiding reality seldom leads to good results. 
She was old fashioned salt of the earth fitting successfully and appropriately in the complex and busy 21st Century. Not an abandoned fossil or relic of a bygone era.  Not a curious “withers” or “buggy whip”, but a highly relevant and sought-out sage, a rare and precious gem.  She found some eternal truths and eternal goodness and she shared those widely. When we reflect on who she was and what she stood for, we are reminded of the noble, righteous character to which we all aspire. That is the way of the “Good Life”.

Mom's last clear words “Aunt Lila was the first”.  Cousin Gladys later explained Aunt Lila was the “midwife” who brought Mom into the world. It is completely fitting that Grant was the last family member to see Mom alive.

Please let these thoughts resonate within you and guide you through the rest of your lives. Mom wishes the best for you.
Mom, we have tried to internalize your calm wisdom, but we await your further guidance in our times of need.  I will think of you every time I hear the wind in the tree tops, every time I hear a bird sing, every time I see a setting sun.
Thank you for making our lives so much richer.


Well, when mother-in-laws were handed out, I guess you could say I hit the mother-lode.

She might not have realized it, but Mom A. taught me many lessons over the years.

Some practical lessons like how to remove worms from freshly-picked produce (stars were flashing before this city-girl's eyes when she taught me that one).

Some more subtle lessons, taught only by example. Like how to find happiness in the simple things in life.

Happiness in the company of her husband Russell, her sons, her grandchildren, great-grandchildren, relatives and friends. Happiness in absorbing the wonders of nature. Happiness in enjoying the beauty of St. Joseph's Island and the gorgeous Adcocks' Woodland Garden. Happiness in reading about history, royalty, nature, and the world's mysteries. Happiness in writing stories about the Island, Island people, her memories, her families' stories. Chuckling at Felix the cat's antics.

While she may have been a simple person in lifestyle and expectations, her intellect was anything but. She had an inquisitive mind and relished pondering some of the big questions. Randy and I spent many an enjoyable phone call and visit (when possible) discussing topics ranging from Atlantis, UFOs, Esperanto. Even into her 80s her memory was enviable, and put mine - and most others'- to shame.

And finally one important lesson she gave to Randy and I as we were leaving the Island, having visited in the early years after being married. "Be kind to one another" she said. We have repeated those words many times over the years.

Peaceful journey, Mom. A. I hope that you get to unveil some of life's mysteries now.

I'll miss you.  Lori Bissell

I am so very deeply sorry and my thoughts and prayers are with you.  I will miss Aunt Eleanor so very much and I know she is catching up on everything with Uncle Russell and my parents.  They will have so much to chat about just as they did during the time we spent with them on the Island each weekend and even before that, at their home on Elmwood Avenue.  I have so many cherished memories and would not know where to start to tell about them.  She was always there to talk with me about anything and she was my second Mom.  I will always remember her voice and sweet words of comfort each time we talked and especially when each of my parents and Peggy passed.  She was a strong, loving, caring woman who always put everyone else first.  I will always miss you and love you so very much, Aunt Eleanor.

Crossing the Bar

Sunset and evening star,
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
When I embark;

For tho' from out our bourne of Time and Place
The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crost the bar.

By Alfred, Lord Tennyson
<a target="_blank" href="http://poetryfoundation.org/index.html">The Poetry Foundation</a>

Grandmothers give you memories like no other, my "Grandma" was no exception. My fondest childhood summer memories all include St Joseph Island and my Grandma.  My first exposure as a city boy to "farm life" on the C line, getting fresh eggs with Grandma, running around the yard with "Lefty" and fresh vegetables from the garden.  Is there anything better than Grandma's pancakes with homemade maple syrup? Sometimes for breakfast and sometimes for supper.  Adcock Woodland Gardens brought joy and purpose to my Grandma and Grandpa, but delivered peace, tranquility and nature's beauty to the thousands of guests that visited.  One of the proudest moments as a father was the enjoyment my children experienced when they visited Great Grandma and Great Grandpa's home and gardens, memories we will cherish forever.  Grandma, I will remember you as a strong, wise, kind and a gifted story teller.  I will remember the lessons you have taught me: live life at your own pace, love and enjoy what you do, be a steward of nature and love and care for all those around you. Your loving Grandson Daniel.

Was hoping to meet up with Cousin Eleanor again this year in 2012.  A follow up to our first reunion, which was last year at the 2011 Adcock Garden Tea Party. I left the Island when I was 10 years of age; and last year, Cousin Eleanor provided me with some Island history of my father and mother, Fred and Annie Fischer and my family as we all resided on the Island a long time ago, but we left in 1965 and moved to Southern Ontario. I will be forever grateful for this history.  We will miss you Cousin Eleanor.  Joyce

Although you were a mom to five boys, you took me in as a daughter and it was then I understood what a mothers love was.I said I will love you forever, and forever is the final form of love, I can not speak any more words to express the power and beauty of you gracefulness of your love to me.  As a mother there was no job too small or too large. Now I must put my trust in God to help me with the impossible and that is living without you.  I love you so much mom and I am going to dearly miss you.
All my love your Daughter

Our cherished memories will be ever so close in our hearts, especially the summers we spent with Aunt Eleanor, Uncle Russell and the cousins, they 
are ingrained in my mind and soul.  Now another journey embarks with your beloved ones on the other side.  You will be missed Aunt Eleanor.

Sending my deepest sympathy at this heartbreaking time.  
I love Aunt Eleanor with all my heart.  She was such a huge part of my life as I was growing up.  I have the best memories of summers spent with family in the Soo and on St. Joseph Island and I will never forget what an incredible woman she was.  She had so many talents and was just such a beautiful person.  
The journey of life is hard sometimes but she bore all of her trials with dignity and I never heard her say anything that wasn't positive.
I wish that we could be with you this coming week but it isn't possible.  
We are thinking of you, praying for you and sending much love to the entire family.
God Bless you all and give you comfort knowing that she had a wonderful life and is now at peace and reunited with loved ones who have gone before.
Love, 
Marlene, Brett & Shawn (Ellison) Lancaster

OBITUARY

Eleanor Lillian Adcock

November 27, 1921 – July 19, 2012

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