Paul's Remembrance Part 6
On Memories of Mom:
Mom has outlived almost all her contemporaries. It is now up to younger generations to carry her memory and lessons forward. The lessons she learned and the many friends she made sustained her for 94 years. This was far longer than she ever expected to live. She was indeed made of strong stuff. Her positive attitude in the face of adversity, and her service to others made her someone to emulate. She was always there for us. We could not have asked for a better Mom.

To Close:
- Mom always loved seeing butterflies. When you see one, please remember her. Thank you all again for coming today.

Paul's Remembrance Part 5
On Strength:
Mom was always surprisingly strong for her size. In her youth, she helped with the work in the fields, including guiding the family's blind mule during plowing. She retained that strength into her later years where she was still able to move large chairs around into her 90s, amazing the Riderwood staff. She also managed to stage an escape from her building during COVID lockdown at Riderwood by moving the furniture the staff had used to block the door to her room.

On Places: 
Mom did not travel extensively, but there are a number of places in her life. On the family farm in Fairland, she walked to the elementary school each day. That was not an insignificant distance on a small two lane road. At Blair High School in Silver Spring she met Dad after he returned from the war in the Pacific.
After her mother, and then her father had passed, the family farm was sold. She and Dad moved to a small summer cottage in Willimantic, Connecticut that had been part of the Smith family for generations. Winters were hard, and the house needed work to make it livable year round. We have pictures of her working on renovating the cottage with safety glasses and a sledgehammer.

When the winters became too difficult, they moved to Venice, FL. At first she was not happy as it was too far from her grandchildren, but she grew to love it and built many lasting friendships. She remained there after Dad died. Her long-distance adventure was a visit to Scotland and England with Kay. Her side of the family includes ancestors that came from Scotland in the 1800s. Eventually she noticed memory issues and moved to Sandy Spring Friends House to be closer to family, maintaining an independent living style as much as possible. When her condition required more dedicated care, she moved to Riderwood Village in Silver Spring. She began in assisted living, progressed to their Memory Care wing, and finally to skilled nursing care.

Paul's Remembrance Part 4
Mom also favored self sacrifice. She was always thinking of helping others even as her Alzheimers took a firm hold. A mealtime example was that when we had chicken, she always ate the wings, leaving the more substantial pieces for Dad and us kids. This is due in part to her early years where her brothers managed to convince her that wings were "the best part" of the chicken.

She had a very strong protective streak, especially toward Kay and me. When we had health problems, she would nurse us back to health. I remember her reading a book about submarines during my bout with chicken pox, making the sound of the sub's dive klaxon whenever it appeared in the story. She also responded rapidly when I caught my arm in a clothes wringer in the pre-spin-cycle days of clothes washing. Her quick action made sure I suffered no permanent damage. In the days of cars with no seatbelts, unpadded dashboards and no child safety seats, we kids were allowed to sit in the front seat. When we would need to stop suddenly, her right arm would whip out and pin me to the seat with a speed and power that NFL linebackers would envy.

From these incidents you might guess that I had a knack for getting into trouble. Mom was always there to either prevent me from getting into trouble, or helping me afterward.

Mom was able to maintain a positive attitude in all but the most dire situations. She always had smiles and hugs for friends and family, and later for staff and residents at Riderwood She was a favorite of both at Riderwood, where they called her "Miss Shirley".

Her health issues were many. Through it all she maintained a positive outlook, though Alzheimers took a heavy toll as the disease progressed.

Paul's Remembrance Part 3
She was a source of strength for her husband Paul Sr. and had a special mother's love for their children, Kay and me. When we had families of our own, she loved spending time with us and her grandchildren. The list includes Kay, Steve and their daughter Steffanie, my wife Anne Marie, and our two children, Brian and Artemis. Brian married Melissa, and they now have a son named Sebastian, about to turn one. Unfortunately, Alzheimers prevented her from meeting Sebastian. I know he would have made her smile and laugh and been the recipient of many great hugs. Mom smiled often, and had a very warm, infectious laugh that put everyone at ease.
  
Let's not forget the many relatives. Many people were related to the Marlows in this area from when it was a farm community. There were more aunts, uncles, cousins and other relations than I could ever keep track of. They often gathered at Mom's parents to celebrate Christmas. Those parties could be large, lasted long and were joyous. Mom and her mom were the prime organizers and cooks.

Leadership:
Mom was a leader who led by example rather than edict. She was also a master of the sidelong stare to let you know you were not behaving as expected. In later years we added a more humorous twist that we called "The Eye". We'd put our heads together facing the same direction and stare at each other out of the side of our eyes. It would always make us laugh. 
  
She had a strong streak of self reliance. I attribute this to the family work ethic while growing up on a farm during the Great Depression and World War II. It was a trait she retained for the rest of her life.

Paul's Remembrance Part 2
On Service: 
Much of her life was devoted to service in a variety of areas including family, friends and community.

For many years she was the Church Secretary at St. Marks Episcopal Church on Old Columbia Pike. She was one of the founding members of her church in Florida. She regularly participated in the church choir there. The church music you heard in today's musical playlist was from her sheet music. Thank you to Steffanie for putting the mix of Mom's sacred and secular favorites together.

She also helped her children toward success in school. She was not only an avid reader throughout her life, she was able to pass that skill on to her kids. This gave us a big head start on what we would need to succeed. Many of my papers for school and college were improved by her editorial skills and typing. She even taught me how to use the church mimeo machine so that I could help her produce the weekly programs at St. Marks.

One of her most difficult tasks was as primary caregiver for her father during his decline into dementia and what would now be diagnosed as Alzheimers. It left a lasting impression on her.

Character: 
Two of her major characteristics were love and compassion, which extended to family, friends, and anyone who seemed like they could use help.

She had an abiding love for her parents, Fielder T. Marlow, Sr. (Tolliver) and her mom Florence, who lived next door on the Marlow family farm. Being so close made it much easier to help them in times of need. From her early years there was always a strong bond between her and her two brothers. This grew to include the families they built.

The brothers were known as Tots and Donald. Tots was Fielder T. Marlow Jr., and his family included wife Carolyn, and Carolyn's children: Carolyn Ann, Jackie and Wes. Donald's family included his wife Mary Rita, and their children: Nancy, Donald George (Butch), and Mike. That bond extended to grandchildren and great grandchildren as they came along

Paul's Remberence Part 1
Thank you all for coming today to remember Shirley Eileen Smith. It is greatly appreciated. We all have memories of her and I would like to share some of the things that made her special to her family and many others.

On Skills:
She may not have been famous, but she was very talented, and passed many of those skills on to us. 

She was a musician. She could play piano and organ, and also sang in the church choir. In her teens, her brothers would take her to dances where she would join the band by playing piano. Her love of music is was what stayed with her the longest during her decline.

She was a good cook, creating tasty farm food on a tight budget. One of her specialties was fried chicken. She also excelled at making food last beyond its season with canning and freezing skills. She made sure we never went hungry.

She was an excellent seamstress, passed those skills on to Kay, and managed to teach some basics to me. As a result we spent a lot of time in fabric stores growing up. She could make anything, including a tux for my high school senior prom, and my Scottish kilt. The kilt has a special set of tags from her in the waistband. 

She had mastered secretarial skills. She often used stenography. That was an impressive skill I've never been able to decipher. She used those skills when she worked at the telephone company, and later when she worked at St. Marks Episcopal Church on Old Columbia Pike.

She was handy with crafts. She and my Dad created many projects while in Florida, ranging from musical snowmen for their grandchildren to table organizers and napkin holders for a local restaurant.

Mom had mastered the art of cake decoration at a high level. She made a number of professional-level wedding cakes, including one for my wife and me.

Flower arranging was another significant joy for Mom. She contributed large weekly arrangements for the church in Florida.

Alzheimer's Association

Funeral Service

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Shirley is survived by Kay Smith Sims and Paul Smith Jr. (Anne Marie), grandchildren Steffanie Sims, Brian Smith (Melissa), Artemis Smith, and her great grandchild Sebastian Smith. She is predeceased by her parents, Fielder T. Marlow (Florence), her brothers Fielder T. Marlow Jr. and Donald Marlow, and her husband Paul F. Smith Sr.

OBITUARY

Shirley E. Smith

November 18, 1929 – June 17, 2024

Hines-Rinaldi Funeral Home

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