Jonathan Asa Knight Wildes

Jon Wildes passed away on July 20, 2013 at Bellevue Hospital in New York City. Jon was born October 2, 1991 in Ft Riley, Kansas, the youngest son in a military family. Jon moved from Kansas, to West Point, NY, to Izmir, Turkey, until finally settling in Annandale, VA. Jon attended Columbia Elementary School, Glasgow Middle School, and Thomas Jefferson High School for Science & Technology, graduating in 2009. “Jonny” was always on the move with his two older brothers. He was a natural athlete, loving all things sports. Growing up in Annandale, Jon excelled in soccer, basketball, swimming, skiing and baseball. He was an avid baseball fan, playing the game as a three year member of the TJ Colonials Varsity Baseball Team. Living next to the Pinecrest Golf Course, Jon found his greatest sporting love right next to the house, golf, the game of life. Golf was his passion, playing, practicing chipping and putting, going to the driving range, or simply just swinging an imaginary club indoors. Jon also loved working with young people; whether as a referee at a trampoline arena or as a volunteer for the youth program at the Jewish Community Center. Jon loved teaching and coaching, sharing his infectious smile and laugh with the children and staff. Jon was attending classes at Northern Virginia Community College and was pursuing a career in teaching and golf management. Jon will be remembered for his charismatic personality, quick wit, and a contagious vibrant energy. He is survived by his parents David and Kitty Wildes, his brothers David and Drew, his grandmother Marie Knight, and many loving cousins, aunts, and uncles.

MEMORIES

In Loving Memory Of

Jonathan Asa Knight Wildes

October 2, 1991 – July 20, 2013

*Jon, you were a beautiful, precious gift to my life. I would not be the person I am today without the many lessons you taught me. I will miss you so. I pray you are at peace, wrapped in God’s loving arms. Mom

*A few weeks ago I was rummaging through my old notebooks because I enjoy reading through the old things I have written. I like to write poetry and stories but can’t always remember everything I have written down; so I find it therapeutic to take a look back and reflect. I came across a notebook that I had used for only a few weeks during my senior year at Annandale High School.

*I began to leaf through the pages and came across a little poem that I had written about my brothers.

Anyone that knows me, knows that my family is most important, especially my two brothers whom I have always been close to. I spent a lot of time with each of them but especially Jonny because we were a little closer in age. Jonny and I went through a lot of the same things during the same time period so we could relate to each other well.

The funny thing about it is, I was Jonny’s older brother but I looked up to him. He was handsome, smart, and one of the most naturally gifted athletes I have ever seen. And did I say he was smart? I was two grades above Jonny but he could genuinely help me with my math homework. I have always considered myself a pretty smart person, but Jonny was advanced in a way that he was able to help me grasp concepts that I couldn’t on my own. And Jonny called all the shots. He was always the life of the party; I loved watching how others gravitated towards him.

These past few weeks have been deeply painful to me. I had to say goodbye to my little brother, my inspiration, my friend. I truly believed in him, and he did the same for me. Even when he was going through his own personal struggles he always took the time to tell me he was proud of me.

So back to the poem. It is simple but means a lot to me because I know that Jonny will always be around me even though his body is no longer with us. I wrote this when I was 18 and Jonny was 15, but the concept remains. The world constantly reminds me of him because we went through so much of life together and I will always remember the confidence he was able to give me.

I Love You Jonny.

Goodbye.

Drew

My brother is a grain of salt

My brother is a lion

My brother is the moon

My brother is the wind

My brother is half a slice of provolone cheese

My brother is sorrow

My brother is a full box of crayons

My brother is naked

My brother is a legend

My brother is my soul

Drew Wildes

2007

*Jonny was my sweet baby cousin. He will always be my sweet baby cousin. When I got word there was a baby on the way, I was hoping it was one of the girl variety, for selfish reasons of course. I would dress her up like a doll and we would have tea parties. My plans were thwarted when the baby turned up a boy, another boy, our Jonny. No dress up, no tea parties, it would be Nintendo and basketball instead, and I would be broken in by my 3 boys, my extended circle of brothers. I always had a tender spot for Jonny, as if he was mine to look after. We would sit together as children and draw on each others backs, and I would play with his thick, brown hair. And when he had suddenly turned into a man, I still saw my baby cousin somewhere in there, the same sweet, stubborn, and sensitive fireball with an astonishing intensity and life in his eyes. I would still draw on his back and play with his hair, I would still adore him as if he were a life sized doll. That wild, sharp, witty, athlete of a life sized doll. I have been told that children are the blossoming continuation of their parents’ work; that they stand on their parents’ shoulders, who stood on the shoulders of their parents, and so on. Jonny was the youngest member of our clan, and he climbed all the way to the top. He was the evolution and pinnacle of our family tree, his branches swayed precariously high off the ground. He had something different than the rest of us, I still don’t know what it was. He had some kind of raw life inside him that spilled out from his blazing core, and he stood on all of our shoulders. He must have seen for miles and miles and miles. We don’t understand why some branches are pruned and others are spared, and we suffer a pain and grieve a profound loss that this wild blossom has fallen from the height of our tree and is gone now. We will never stop missing him. I will miss him in my arms, miss petting his head, the child Jonny and the man Jonny the same, for the rest of my days. May his spirit be free now with the wind, that blows and sways our living branches, reaching higher and higher, up, up, up…

Rose

*Jonny, Jonny, Shooting Star Blazing fast and bright Through the night sky, Moving quickly through our lives. How can you be gone? My heart wants to close off. Like a clenched fist, I feel it tight in my chest. But I can liberate my heart By opening to the grief. The sorrow feels bottomless, But I can find the bottom by letting the feelings come out the top. How can we ever be happy again? By opening to the pain of the loss And not suppressing it. For all who loved our shooting star, Use the grief to wake up to the preciousness of life, Don't let the grief use you. Jonny, I hold you close in my open heart. Blaze On.

Aunt Cindy

*Moments Held Tight

By the time I started college, my cousin Jonny could throw a baseball much harder and much farther than I ever would. I was 19. He was 12. I remember watching him play catch with his older brothers at a family reunion that year. The reunions have always been especially important for us, because our family has always been especially small. On my mother’s side even the partial cousins (the ones with numbers attached) are a close-knit group: the half cousins, second cousins, cousins twice-removed, and so on. Counting every permutation there are only eight of us, though when I started college there were nine. That year’s reunion was larger than usual, attended by several distant relatives whom I had never heard of. I’ve since forgotten the connections—perhaps my great-grandparents’ siblings’ children and their children, or something equally obscure—but I remember that this was a special gathering, a true re-union, with a father and his son sharing a table together for the first time in several decades. I felt proud of my family. “We are people who can let our grudges go.” The cousins gravitated to one another, as usual. Jonny, David, and Drew hurled the ball across the wide city park, no one brother’s arm clearly superior to the other two. I sat in the shade, hoping my tall Belarusian girlfriend would seem to them a reasonable distraction, thinking, “If I join the guys, they’ll all have to move way in, and that will be super embarrassing. And how is Jonny throwing the ball so damn hard anyway? How could such a small dude generate so much power?” I imagine this sort of frustrated awe was a common refrain for everyone who knew him. Perhaps if things were different—if he was less powerful, or had a bigger container to hold it all—then our future family reunions would not suffer this gaping hole. But then, also, he would have been a different cousin entirely. We would not have had our Jonny, even for this little while, and that is not a trade I would ever be willing to make. We pay a high price for those flashes of radiant, intense beauty that so enhance our lives. Our delight—at a sunset, a springtime bloom, a pre-teen who can out-throw a college freshman—is tinged with sadness, always, by the certain knowledge that wondrous moments held tight are destined to slip away. Thankfully our memories remain vivid, long after the moments have passed, as enduring reminders of our full capacity for abundance and loss, sorrow and joy. The sorrow is a high price to pay for the joy. And, it’s worth the cost.

Robin

*What a wonderful cousin Jonathan was to my kids. Of course, since he is so much younger than me, Sara and Jake felt like he was much more FUN than me!! And he was! Anytime we were visiting, he (and Drew) were the crazy, goofy ones that took the time to really play with them like they wanted. Piggy-backing, playing, running, jumping, laughing. On Sara's first visit east... she was just a baby… she fell in love with a red crab keychain whose eyes lit up like a strobe light. She wouldn't put it down! Finally, Jonny let her have it to keep. On another trip, Jonathan won a bright orange teddy bear for Sara at Fuddrucker's. She carried that bear for the rest of the trip. He had really won her over. I'm going to miss the future without him in it. With Jake, he was the big brother Jake will never have. Together, Drew and Jonathan played ball, tumbled and even sat him down behind the drums. Such wonderful early memories that can never be taken away. Jonathan's sweet smile will stay with us forever and ever. I will treasure the priceless gift .... the gift of Jonathan's life and will heal with you as best we can in this imperfect life.

Shannon

*One of my favorite Jonny stories was this past Christmas: At my very first Christmas with the Wildes family, I was overwhelmed by how thoughtful everyone was. Jonny had even made a special trip to the mall to pick out a gift for me! I unwrapped the box to find a bright green bottle of perfume. An ambitious purchase! I sprayed it once and everyone's eyebrows rose -- the fragrance unabashedly evoked high school flirtyness. I thanked Jonny and innocently inquired as to how he had selected a perfume for me. As it turned out, Jonny had taken a liking to the 16 year-old sales girl, and after complimenting her on her own fragrance, purchased the very same one for me. I still have that bottle of perfume... I'm saving it for the next high school dance I'm asked to.

Cecily

*We often called him Little Jonny, but despite his diminutive stature, his personality was truly larger than life. I think I speak for all of his friends and family when I say that we are all incredibly blessed to have known him and to have loved him, even if only for a short time.

If I were there today, I would lay a few things down to make him feel loved and remembered:

First, a hot, melty grilled cheese to commemorate the times when he showed up to my house hungry, and for some reason I always felt compelled to oblige his appetite with only the best processed foods. I might include some bacon in the hopes that it will bring to mind his recovery from a recent surgery to repair his shoulder. I came to keep him company as he languished on the couch in a monstrous sling, and I cooked up an entire package of bacon for him and I to enjoy as we laughed at his lack of motor function and watched ESPN.

Second, I would lay him down with his 58 degree wedge, the club with which he taught me how to hit out of the sand. As antsy as he was in his everyday life, Jon was a man of infinite patience on the golf course – a quality that made him an excellent teacher – and I consider myself incredibly lucky to have learned from him. For the rest of my life, every time I tee off, he will be with me.

I will always remember the smile on his face this past Fourth of July when we bobbed in the serene waters of the Chesapeake Bay. I consider that weekend among the most fortuitous of my life, for I had the immense pleasure of spending it with my lifelong friend just before he departed from this world.

Cheers, Little Jonny. You will be sorely missed.

Emily

*Our son, Andy, was married last June. The wedding guest list was limited to family and a very few, very special friends. Of course, all five members of the Wildes family were invited, because they fit into both categories. During the reception, my husband was busy running a father of the groom errand when the DJ began to play "My Girl", which is our song. When Jon realized the significance of the song, he quite thoughtfully asked me to dance with him. Jon danced the way he lived - with exuberance. And when he gave me a hug, I knew that he meant it.

Usually the mother of the groom has just one special dance at the wedding reception. On that magical evening, I was fortunate enough to have two!

Lynn Baker

*The Cal Ripken Coke -- Shortly after Cal Ripken retired, Coca Cola sold souvenir six packs with specially labeled 8-ounce bottles honoring the great slugger's contributions to baseball. The Wildes bought one, of course, and positioned it in a special place of honor in the family room in their house in Annandale. One of the six bottles was mysteriously emptied during Christmas holiday festivities that year. David and Drew recalled that I had asked for a Coke and I had to confess that I was indeed the culprit. The rest of the story, though, was that 8-year old Jon, unable to find a Coke for me in the kitchen and knowing there was one in the basement, got it for me. If there's been an issue over the years, it's which of us opened the bottle! I honestly can't remember - but I will always remember Jon's thoughtfulness in getting it for me.

*The Road Trip -- On a fall weekend in 2012, Lynn was in Florida with her folks and my "nephew," Jon, was without a car -- so he and I decided to take a "road trip" to Charlottesville. We told old family stories and talked present and future plans during the two-hour trip. I looked forward to seeing more of him over the weekend and comparing notes on the return trip to northern Virginia. Fact of the matter is that he ditched me in favor of a younger crowd - including Drew and TJ friends - as soon as we arrived at UVA and got a ride home with a buddy! I had a good alternate plan - linking up with Molly, Ted, and their friends at the football game and afterwards - and have good memories of the road trip, albeit one-way, with Jon.

Jeb Baker

*I have so many great memories of Jon. When we was just a little guy and still went by "Jake" (I remember when he corrected me right away after you guys got back from Turkey, but that's a different story) we were all members of the Episcopal congregation at the West Point Cadet Chapel. After church, Jon would insist on having me lift him up to dunk a little ball through a toy basketball net over and over and over again. He'd immediately start crying the moment I stopped, so we'd keep at it for around five minutes at a time. This was usually accompanied by a few "AMERICAN GLADIATOR HANDSHAKE!!!!!!!" requests from Drew, though he doesn't recall doing this (Ted and Molly will back up my story). Another great one was spending time with you guys at Lake Frederick when Dave was the Buckner Tactical Officer and Jon toddled around sporting that one piece suit with the built in inner-tube. Those times at West Point, when Ted, Molly, and I were just starting to get to know you guys, were very special for me and my family.

Andy Baker

*The Wildes family has been a part of our family almost as far as I can remember. We get together every Christmas Eve and tell old stories. Luckily there is almost always a new friend who comes to dinner so we can tell the same old stories. One of my favorites was when we were on our way to church at West Point. Jonathan was in our car and separate from his parents. He was quite worried that our family (specifically my Dad) was going to take him somewhere he was not supposed to go. My dad questioned him, "Hey Jonathan, do you want to go get ice cream?" "No, I want to go to church!" "Hey Jonathan, do you want to go get candy?" "Noooooo, I want to go to church." "Jonathan, how about Disney World?!" "Church, church, church, church!!!" Now, Jonathan couldn't say his R's very well at this point, so we still to this day pronounce church as he did… "CHUCH!" Jonathan told me a year ago that I was like his sister, and I have always felt like the three Wildes boys are like my three younger brothers. We share many great memories.

Molly Baker

*Like Andy and Molly, the first memories I have of Jonathan (then "Jake") are from our time together at West Point. I remember agreeing to babysit for the Wildes boys when they had first moved into Lee area. Jonathan was less than a year old (I don't think Kitty was aware of the fact that I didn't know how to change diapers), and he cried the entire time. I think it was partly because he wanted his parents, but mostly because he wished that he were big enough to get involved in the wrestling match that David and Drew were having. Jon always loved sports, and always wanted to play - especially if his brothers were involved. When he was around two and we all played catch with the football, he'd yell "I'M OPEN, I'M OPEN" whenever someone passed the ball to someone else. He also loved baseball, of course, and I remember one of the first things he could say being "Ken Gwiffy." Once he got older he became the best athlete of all of the Wildes/Bakers. Most notably, he is the only member of either family to defeat me in ping pong (but also nice enough to teach me how to put spin on my backhand... After he had beaten me, of course). I'll think of Jon whether I watch a Nationals game. I'll think of his laugh whenever I see RGIII (he laughed at me incredulously when I wrongly predicted that RGIII wouldn't win rookie of the year). Most of all I'll remember his smile, and his enthusiasm for life. The Wildes boys are like brothers to me and I miss Jon incredibly, but am so thankful to have known him.

Ted Baker

*Jon had a remarkable spirit and was charismatic. I had many talks with him about life, finding the good in every situation and the importance of living your dreams. I wanted him to know how magnificent he was. I wished the best for him and had high hopes. We were grateful to have him work on our team and in our community. While Jon worked with us at the JCC, he touched the lives of many children and staff. We were amazed at his ability to teach our students in the homework room and give them one on one care and attention. He spent time in the gym and always came back just as happy and sweaty as the students. Not only was he one of my favorite staff members, he was my friend. I wish I could accurately describe how much I favored, respected, loved and valued him. I will never forget Jon’s laugh, his spirit and time spent with us at the JCC. He will live on through us all. Our program would not be this popular if Jon hadn’t made his mark here.

Jessica, JCC

*I hired him on the spot. I hired him because his energy was contagious, his smile warm, and his body language told me he was confident and knew what he wanted in a job. Jon fit right into our team and carved out a niche for himself in the homework room and in the gym that will noticeably be missing in our program. Jon not only touched the lives of the children we serve but the staff we supervise.

Joelle, JCC

*Jonathan won the high point trophy in 2002 at Forest Hollow Swim Team, his 9-10 Boys year. He was on 2 relays that broke pool records that year that still stand today ; )!!!!! Awesome!! Annika was recounting a fun time goofing around in the pool and stretching and stretching with a cap in the water that Jonathan able to sit in... Sweet memories of youth!

The Jessen Family

*9-10 Boys 100M Free Relay 1:05.67 July 1, 2002 Cullen Mahoney A. Sells Jonathan Wildes Zack Manthos

*100M Medley Relay 1:12.59 July 1, 2002 Jonathan Wildes Alex Johnson Cullen Mahoney Zack Manthos

*I met Jon by chance eight years ago in Russian class at TJ. We shared a penchant for hats, and I took the seat to the left of him at a circular table in the back. He made the mistake of leaving his wallet on the table, and I impulsively hid it under his notebook. Most people would have never talked to me again, but that day was the beginning of an incredible friendship. I slept through the first week of class, so I never fully understood minor details like the "Russian alphabet", or "pronunciation." Lucky for me Jon (he went by Boris in class) always had my back and would frequently write the phonetic pronunciation of words on index cards so I could struggle through our next class presentation. I never did master the full alphabet, but Jon would just laugh, shake his head, and help me week in and week out. This lasted four years. Soon afterward friend groups began forming in our freshman class. Social circles were defined by lunch groups, and ours would frequently number over twenty people eating in a circle outside or in the hallways. Having such a large group of people turned lunchtime into a comedic production. Jon's quick wit and flawless delivery drew others to him in that formative stage of our high school social life. We would take turns telling stories and cracking jokes, with immediate, sometimes ruthless, reactions from the audience. One misspoken word or botched joke and you would be chastised until the start of 3rd period. Jeff (especially Jeff) Spencer, Justin, Will, and I were often on the receiving end of the group's collective wrath. Jon was too sharp-I can't recall a single day he became the lunchtime stooge. Jon is credited with developing almost a second language at TJ. Drawing influence from his older brothers and Annandale friends, he has permanently changed by understanding of acceptable English grammar. It is difficult to laugh without thinking about him. So much of my humor comes from Jon, and it's hard to think about my life without him. The Wildes residence became my second home in those days. I was somehow able to convince my parents that Wednesday night sleepovers made a lot of sense. We could stay up all night playing Super Smash Brothers and I'd still get more sleep due to our proximity to school. His use of Kirby was masterful, I rarely won those games but loved the time we spent together just the same. When he was focused, Jon exhibited a wisdom that is very rare for someone his age. I considered Jon's opinion indispensable when making a painful choice. I love Jon like a brother. His energy and relentless enthusiasm will be missed.

Love always

Your friend,

Collin Schweiker