Madeline "Billie" G. Bubenik

Madeline was born in the City of St. Louis, Missouri on July 30, 1923 and she had almost reached her 97th birthday when she passed away on April 11, 2020. Her parents were Madeline Emma von Felde and William Jacob Gibson. She had one sister, Rosemary Lillian Secrease; all preceded her in death. They were devout Catholics, as she remained for her entire life. Her ancestors were all Germanic immigrants (Northern Germany and Austria) and her father was a Welshman. Madeline (called ‘Billie’ by her friends) had an early life in St. Louis that was typical for the times. One of her earliest memories was from the great tornado of 1927, where over 200 city blocks were destroyed and 79 lives were lost. The roof was blown off the von Felde residence and Billie hid in a closet with her mother. When she emerged she didn’t notice the roof missing but she did note that her doll had been blown from its hiding place to

the top of the kitchen table and she was upset!

Madeline’s early years were at 4771 LeDuc Street, a home her great, great Grandmother Elizabeth von Felde had purchased for two families, one unit for herself and her son and the other for her grandson and family. Elizabeth had been married to Henry von Felde, a seaman in the Union Navy in the US Civil War involved in many major battles.

‘Gabby Gibson’ became her nickname, getting her in trouble at times. For her high school years, Billie attended Nerinx Hall for one year and then the family was forced to withdraw her for financial reasons due to the Great Depression. A year or two later, she then had to drop out of high school altogether to work as a waitress in a restaurant/bar. She eventually went back to school to earn her high school diploma. At the beginning of the Depression, Billie was 6 yrs. old and at the end she was 19 yrs. old, so the Depression had a great influence on her (from 1929 until 1942). ‘Waste not, want not’ became the family motto. Her mother, also named Madeline Gibson, had only two wishes during the autumn of most years, as she was about to go into the cold St. Louis winters. She named it her, ‘Five and Fifty’ plan. All her mother wanted was five tons of coal in the cellar and fifty pounds of flour in the cupboard so she was confident the family would make it to the spring.

And then in 1941, the US entered World War II. St. Louis was pressed many ways into serving the war effort and Madeline worked several jobs, one of which was at the largest war industry plant in the city, commonly called, ‘The Small Arms Plant.’ It was a 300-acre complex at Goodfellow Blvd. and Bircher in north St. Louis, employing over 35,000 people who primarily made ammunition. In one of the buildings, Madeline repaired sterile gloves for reuse by surgeons treating the wounded in the European and Pacific Theaters of war, by using a bright light to trans-illuminate them and place small dabs of repair glue. She worked hard at other jobs too to help support her family. Many necessities were rationed: tires, gasoline, sugar, meat and dairy products. Scrap metal drives were common and people were encouraged to use extra money to buy war bonds to help fund the war effort. A good friend of hers through this was

Bertie Miller, commonly called, ‘Birdy’, who later married Pete and they became, ‘Birdy & Pete’, a name that delighted

her kids.

After the war, things turned around for Madeline Gibson when she met and married Erwin (‘Erv’) Eric Bubenik (1916- 2003), a talented commercial artist from a neighborhood not far from her own in the city. This was only after a courtship during which she refused to marry him several times. After the wedding, a year later the babies started to come, so she had made the right decision!

The couple lived their first year in Erv’s parents unheated summer cottage in Times Beach, MO where they shared a twin bed for want of furniture. After a substantial flood forced them out, they moved to 9577 Page Avenue in St. Louis County. They had their first house! The home had no hot water heater, so Billie had to heat large kettles of water on a small, open cast iron stove in the basement and run up and down the stairs to get hot water to clean and do laundry.

Madeline and Erwin continued to have a child every one or two years and in 1961 their last, Rick, was born. They had in the meantime moved to 6702 Mathew Street in Northwoods, after doing much of the building work themselves on what would become their main home. Their parenting was unique in many ways. Billie exercised throughout her pregnancies to make sure every baby got a good start at life. They gave each child a deep sense of security and the knowledge that each was loved abundantly.

A lot of their goals are shared by many parents for their children, but Billie and Erv did everything with

excellence. How they did it, having such a large family is unfathomable: Billie cooked a wonderful Sunday dinner …every night of the week. She taught the kids to be respectful to adults, teachers and people in authority. There were other things too: Keeping everyone’s clothes laundered and ironed; ensuring all were in good repair. Taking time to listen to her children when there were problems at school or with friends. Keeping regular visits for them at the dentist and pediatrician; teaching them how to manage money and how to save part of their allowance. Encouraging their best efforts in school, organizing regular study times and places, attending parent-teacher conferences, and school events. Taking them to the library regularly for books and library movies. Refusing to take them to early dinosaur/horror films

such as, Rodan!, where a giant flying prehistoric reptile comes to life to eat people, even though all the other kids in the neighborhood went. Making artistically beautiful, intricate ceramic figures, starting with just clay and plaster molds, to painting and glazing, to kiln finishing. Providing an example of how to face life's challenges bravely and efficiently. Praying for each child every single day. Lifting them up with her sense of humor and laughing at kid jokes even when they weren't funny. Letting her children know when she was proud of them, even after they were full-grown adults.

Through the changing seasons and lives of their children they planned summer outings once per week: Sun Tan Beach, the zoo, museums, to Forest Park on Saturday nights just to watch the lighted Colored Fountain, etc. They took the children on picnics to Creve Coeur Park and other places, to several out-of-town family vacations, to drive-in movies with all our popcorn, sodas, pillows, and blankets. Teaching each how to cook; letting them try recipes alone in her kitchen, baking a great array of Christmas cookies every year: Springerle, fruit bars, and decorated German cut-out sugar cookies, etc. At birthday time, they made sure each non-birthday child also got a gift so they wouldn’t feel envious of the birthday child, a practice complained about loudly by Kathy and Jim when they became teenagers and were asked if

they wouldn’t mind dropping the custom after age 12. Driving Kathy, Jim and Tom to and from work and school. Planning Cub Scout excursions on which she took both the troop and her other kids. (At Jim’s 50-Year Anniversary of graduation from Ascension grade school in 2014, one of the Cub Scouts, Gary Notch, asked him to make sure to thank his mother for all those outings.) Disciplining her children calmly when needed. Attending so many of the children’s activities: sports, plays, etc. and finding a way to get to and from the practices. Modeling for them how to take time for themselves as parents by going to parties with other adult couples and going on monthly dates with Erv.

Her children (in order) grew up to be a mother, high-school biology teacher, and psych assessment professional in Temple, TX (Kathy); a father and general dentist in St. Louis, MO (Jim); a father and truck driver/dispatcher in St. Louis (Chuck); a father and mechanical engineer in Dublin, OH (Tom); a produce manager and all-around bon vivant in St. Louis (Bob); a father as well as a decorator and faux painting specialist in St. Louis (John, called ‘Jack’ by the family) and a father and information technology professional in St. Louis (Rick). Four are now retired.

Billie and Erv made one final move to Copperfield in Affton as they continued to raise the last of their children. When the children had all left the nest to live their lives, Billie’s asthma started kicking up and she was told by the doctor she shouldn’t live in St. Louis if she wanted to get better. Erv quickly piped up with, “Let’s move to Florida!”. At that time ‘Florida’ and ‘Heaven’ were pretty much the same thing for their generation. At first Billie refused, giving the usual excuses. But then just like in the marriage proposal, she realized Erv was right. In Sun City Center, near Tampa they lived an idyllic life in a gated community with other retired folks. They got an electric golf cart with a rain cover that got up to 30 mph! They often went to the beach (Billie sported a tan to rival George Hamilton) and she and Erv got into all

the hobbies they hadn’t had time for before: reading, playing piano, knitting and sewing, lapidary and woodwork, visiting Elderhostels, ocean cruises with new friends and frequent visits with their adult children and grandkids. And they relaxed and read books in their Lanai!

After many good years in Sun City Center, FL and Erwin’s death, Madeline returned to St. Louis to be with her family in her last years. She lived at the Sarah Community, Naomi House on McKelvey in Bridgeton for a few years and then to Mari de Villa in Town and Country.