Victor Jay DeBord

He left this life the same way he lived most of it: on his own terms, in his own way, and with absolutely no interest in consulting anyone about the decision. He was at home, with Patrice, Renée, and Brett at his side.

After 78 years of making his own rules, issuing his own opinions, and occasionally treating other people’s opinions as interesting but ultimately irrelevant, Victor apparently decided he had stayed long enough.

Born in Fredericksburg, Virginia, on August 24, 1948, Victor was the son of the late Gifford J. DeBord and Holland DeBord (Kearns). He was preceded in death by his parents and his brother, Robin DeBord.

Victor spent 22 years in the United States Army, retiring as a Command Sergeant Major. During his service in Vietnam, he earned the Air Medal, three Purple Hearts, and the Silver Star.

Three Purple Hearts.

At some point, most people would have taken that as a pretty solid hint that perhaps a quieter hobby was in order. Victor was not most people.

After the Army, he went to work for the Virginia Marine Resources Commission, protecting Virginia’s waterways. Because apparently one career serving the country wasn’t enough.

He then joined the Stafford County Sheriff’s Office, where he spent roughly half a decade before medically retiring in 1995, alongside his K-9 partner, Duke.

Victor and Duke were a natural pairing. Both were loyal, capable, and probably happier when everyone else stopped talking and let them get on with the job.

Never one to sit around contemplating retirement, Victor went into business with Patrice. For more than 20 years, they owned and operated Seasonal Maintenance Company, Inc. and SMC Mulch Yard, working side by side.

Twenty years.

Together.

Running a business.

If that doesn’t qualify as a successful marriage, nothing does.

Victor later became a Safety Consultant for local businesses, a position he held until Alzheimer’s finally forced him to retire. Which is saying something, because convincing Victor that he couldn’t do something was never exactly an administrative task.

In 1975, Victor married Patrice S. DeBord (Gonier). They spent 51 years married, raising a family, building businesses, surviving life’s various disasters, and somehow continuing to choose each other.

They loved each other deeply, built a life together, and made it through the kind of ordinary and extraordinary things that turn two people into family in the truest sense of the word.

Victor is survived by Patrice; his daughter, Renee S. Stahl (DeBord), and her husband, Richard; his sons, Brett J. DeBord and Scott J. DeBord; his grandchildren, Samantha & Liam; his bonus grandchildren, Deepali, Prakash, & Praveen; his beloved dog, Lexi Dexi; his grand-pups, Daisie Lou Who & Loki Blue Pike; and his brothers, Jeff DeBord and Kevin DeBord.

Victor will be remembered for his strength, his determination, his humor, his ability to make an entrance without actually entering a room, and his deeply held belief that there was, in fact, a correct way to do everything.

He wasn’t always easy.

He wasn’t always right.

He was occasionally both at the same time.

But he was ours.

Underneath all the stubbornness, opinions, arguments, and general Victor-ness was a man who loved his family deeply, worked hard for them, served his country, served his community, and left behind enough stories to keep everyone arguing about what really happened for decades.

Alzheimer’s took a hell of a lot from Victor and from all of us. It took years, memories, pieces of his personality, independence, and eventually the man we knew.

But it doesn’t get to rewrite the rest of his story.

That part belongs to us.

So, in lieu of flowers, and because Victor would probably have had several opinions about what people should spend their money on, donations may be made in his memory to BrightFocus Foundation to support Alzheimer’s disease research.

Maybe someday this disease will meet a family it can’t take apart.

That would be one hell of a legacy.

Victor will be interred at Quantico National Cemetery in a private ceremony for those personally invited by his wife.

There will be no public service.

If there were, Victor would probably complain about the guest list.

Rest easy, Victor. You’ve officially been promoted to “can’t argue with him anymore.”