A quote misattributed to Thoreau goes "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them"

When I first met Ray in 1988, you wouldn't know he was living a life of quiet desperation. I was working as a co-op student, and Ray was in my department. He was friendly and we shared a taste for bad puns, but as I got to know him I could tell he wasn't happy.

It was on trips from NC to visit family in New York that he fell in love with the Shenandoah Valley. Many unhappy men would be satisfied with their lot in life, but not Ray. Our company had a policy of paying overtime to salaried employees, and Ray worked as many hours as he could. Eventually he had enough money saved to put his plan in motion. He bought some land in Stuarts Draft, and he bought his first personal computer in order to build the exact house he wanted on that land. 

He quit his technology job, sold his house and moved to Stuarts Draft. I was sad to see him go, but for once I could tell he was happy. He'd finally found a place he was comfortable, where he could sing. 

We kept in touch through e-mail. It was always a joy to get one of his updates about life on the farm. Andrea and I visited him once, and Ray would visit on his rare trips to North Carolina. I laughed over stories about a troublesome rooster and cheered when he bought his green MR2. I was also delighted to watch his growing relationship with Esther. The last time I saw Ray was at my 50th birthday party, where I was also able to meet Esther in person. Although they weren't "officially" a couple at that time, I could tell there was something special between them. I'd never seen Ray happier.

Once his cancer was diagnosed, he was still in good spirits, but our e-mails turned into text messages and eventually into video chats.

Ray's song ended way too soon. But I believe that no one is truly gone as long as there lives someone who remembers them, and my life is richer to have known him.

I first met Ray when he arrived from the UK after finishing the project with STC and joined the WECo team at 'Les Cables de Lyon" in Calais, France.  Ray was a real gentleman and very diligent in his work whilst he was known also for his humour and a few daily puns!   After the project was completed, Ray returned to the US and so did most of the team but the connection remained through correspondence.  
It was with great pleasure that we had Ray's visit in 2017 in South Australia after he made the trip to catch-up with family in Western Australia.  He thoroughly enjoyed visiting Adelaide and the Southern Fleurieu Peninsula; was so good catching up on stories and for Ray to spend time with my late mum Colette Dore  who he met in Calais.  Also introducing some new Aussie friends, Steven, Michael, Nisa and many others  whilst Ray enjoyed  a cruise on the Murray River,  a day  wine tasting at a few wineries in McLaren Vale Wine Region, a hike at Morialta Conversation Park or relaxing with a few cheese & wine tasting at Adelaide Hills Winery in Hahndorf.   We will remember Ray in happy times and he will be sadly missed.  
All our condolences to Esther and family; our prayers are with you all the way from Australia.

Ray was such a delight!  As the librarian at the Stuarts Draft Library, I looked forward to seeing him each time he visited the library.  What wonderful conversations we had about music (especially opera), his truck (old and new), science, physics, and so much more.  He always had the funniest jokes and puns, especially about physics! He was a beam of light and joy!  It was a privilege to get to know him.  And it was a joy to witness Ray and Esther’s relationship grow.  He will be sorely missed.

Childhood friends that last a lifetime are extremely rare. Ray was that to my husband, Wally. Ray was Uncle to my three children, and helped us celebrate all our important life events. We will always be thankful God allowed us to be a part of Ray's life. 

Blueberry buckle, lack of hair jokes, convertibles, England, Maple syrup, truck that ran forever, holidays, the "Rayme Zone", a big heart, love of life, more jokes, Australia, a great friend not just to my dad but to all of us......are all things that I will fondly remember you for dear Ray! You will be greatly missed! 

I’m so very sorry we won’t be able to attend. I miss sitting at camp with Uncle Ray  during the firefly explosions and watching the spring return of songbirds. 
Catherine - that little girl looked up to him so highly - her prom is that weekend and I just know Ray would have loved to see her all dressed up and getting ready to graduate. 
God bless to all. 

OBITUARY

Raymond Dwight Cooley

February 2, 1950 – May 26, 2021

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