Jean Fay Beckers

A private gathering for the services of the late Jean Fay Beckers will take place at 1:00 PM on Tuesday, November 15, 2016 at the Story Chapel of Mt. Auburn Cemetery, 580 Mt. Auburn St., Cambridge, MA.

It has been requested that the sending of flowers be completely omitted. Memorial donations in the name of Jean Fay Beckers should be directed to "Strays of the Valley," caring for and re-homing stray dogs; 425 School Street, Northbridge, MA 01534.

The following is the text of the personal account of Jean Fay Beckers' life as recorded for her daughter, Norma :

A long time ago, you asked if I would write down the highlights of my life. So, I thought I would pretend I was talking as I do this.

I was born in Boston on July 8, 1919 and went to live with my parents at my grandparents’ home for the next seven years on Cambridge Street in Cambridge. I have two sisters. Janet is almost four years older and June is seven years younger. Janet and I were close friends growing up, but we considered June almost another generation. When June was born, we moved one-half block away, but my grandmother remained a strong influence in our lives. My grandfather was wheelchair-bound as the result of a stroke.

I attended the Agassiz Grammar School and the Cambridge High & Latin School graduating at the age of sixteen. Our childhood was uneventful. They were depression years so we had very little. We did not have a yard or any play area in Cambridge, but for a few years we went to Old Silver Beach in West Falmouth for the summer. My father built the second house in the area. Those were happy days especially because our cousins, Jane & Joan Churchill, spent the summers with us. We walked to the beach every day and made fudge every night. Before we went to Falmouth, we spent summers at my mother’s childhood home in Plymouth with her father. He was a wonderful man: very handsome and loving. He came almost every Sunday to our house in Cambridge for dinner and brought a big box of chocolates which Janet and I promptly devoured. To this day, I cannot eat any more chocolate! I remember summer days in Plymouth. Our cousins were there, also, and we used to make elaborate mud pies on the back porch. And I had a favorite tree that I used to like to climb and sit in for hours, I guess. My grandfather had beautiful flower gardens. One was all different colors of cosmos and I loved it. There was a big hammock on the porch and that was fun. Late every afternoon Janet and I were allowed to walk a very short distance to a nearby farm where we brought milk home for the family the next day. It is now more than 75 years since the incident, but I vividly remember dropping and breaking a bottle, and then I cried all the way home.

My father was determined that I would go to work for him in his florist business, but my mother was equally determined that I would go to college. And I was anxious to go away. I enrolled in Mary Washington College in Fredericksburg, Virginia, where I was very happy and a Dean’s List student. My mother was a wonderful person and a beautiful woman. She devoted her life to her children. When I grew up, I tried to do lots of nice things for her by providing little luxuries and taking her on short trips. One time, I took her to Washington, D. C. on a D.A.R. Conference and she had a great time. Then I rented a car and drove to Fredericksburg so she could see the college where she had sent me many a box of homemade cookies. They always arrived in crumbs, but I never told her. She was just amazed at the beauty of the campus.

My father remained determined that I would work for him in his florist business. Many times I tried to leave, in peace, to no avail. I worked hard and long hours and had no fun and no friends. But, one day, I backed my father’s car from his garage into the street and hit one of his customers. His name was Larry Pineo and he lived in an apartment hotel across the street from my father’s florist shop. He said he would forget the damage to his car if I would have dinner with him that evening. I was thrilled. He was very smart, a successful business man and very handsome. In no time, we were engaged and I was on cloud nine. In fact, it was such a short time, that my then-boyfriend, who had been away for only two weeks, was aghast to return and find me engaged to someone else. He thought I was going to marry him, but, in fact, I never had any idea of it. Larry took me to his mother’s home in Nova Scotia that summer, and we had wonderful plans for our future.

Soon the war came along and Larry, as a Canadian citizen, enlisted in the Canadian Air Force. He went to Officer’s Training School near Montreal and I went there quite often, by train, to visit him. But the long separation took its toll and soon it became obvious that we should go our separate ways. It was then that I finally walked out on my father which left him in an absolute rage. We remained politely estranged for the rest of his life. I took a job with the Farrington Manufacturing Company in the Charge-a-plate Division as a Field Executive and was sent to New Orleans with several others from the company. We were to install the system in twelve stores there. I was scared to death especially when I found that part of my responsibility would be a great deal of public speaking to very large groups. The system was on a rental basis so we were to install it and maintain it. I worked then in the individual stores training the personnel. And at night I went to all the wonderful restaurants and bars in the city. We were royally entertained. After several months there, I was sent to Corpus Christie, Texas, with increased responsibilities. And from there, I continued traveling to many of the larger cities in the USA and Canada remaining each place for several weeks or sometimes for a few months. In the meantime, I had acquired a new boyfriend in New Orleans and he followed me half over the country with the mistaken notion that I would toss up my career and marry him. I had no idea of it! My responsibilities with the company increased from working in the individual stores to group coordination and then setting up a central office where I usually hired and trained approximately one hundred people including a manager and an assistant manager. When, in my opinion, all was running smoothly in the city, I would go on to the next big job. I was often asked why I wasn’t married, and my standard answer was that I was traveling around the country looking for a husband. Little did I know then that I would find one in my own backyard in Boston. When I was on a big job in Rochester, NY, the man who originated MasterCard implored me to come to work for him naming my own salary. But, my loyalty was to the Farrington Company.

One summer, I was asked to be a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding. The best man was Norman Fay. Jack Lemmon, Sr. was asked to escort me to the bridal parties. We became very good friends but not romantically so. Jack learned that I would soon be returning to Boston because I had been offered the job of Installation Manager for the US and Canada. And, above all things, I would need an automobile. Then I went to Seattle which was my last big job “on the road”. I had a wonderful time there for several months though I worked hard setting up a big office. And I found time to acquire a new boyfriend. He owned a Jewelry Store in the city and he wined and dined me. Had I not been offered such a wonderful opportunity in the Boston office to further my career, I might have remained in Seattle. But, with tears, I left there and was to make a quick stop in San Francisco before traveling back across the country. I no more than checked into the hotel than I got sick. My Seattle boyfriend knew the manager and no movie star ever had such attention. But, in the meantime, he thought I would soon be in Boston and had sent me a whole salmon and a big box of dungenous crabs. My mother thought she was opening a box of my clothing. They ate it all up before I got home.

Jack Lemmon and Norman Fay were good friends and Jack told Norman that a member of that bridal party was in dire need of an automobile. I was still on the west coast when I had a letter from the Fay Company asking what I wanted and when I wanted it. There was a P.S. on the letter saying that upon delivery of the car, he expected a kiss. When I went to pick up the car, I was escorted to Norman’s gorgeous private office. I am sure he did not remember me from the wedding at all. His wife was still alive then. Soon after this time, I went to stay with a friend who was a widow and about to have a baby. Norman was on the scene constantly. I thought he was there to see my friend, but the very day I returned home, he telephoned me inviting me for dinner. When I accepted, he asked how soon I could be ready because he was calling me from his car telephone and sitting in front of my house. That July, on my birthday, he proposed to me and we were married in Christ Church in Cambridge on September 17, 1949. The only person at the wedding, outside of family, was my friend whom I thought he was courting and she cried all during the ceremony and was devastated. We sailed on the Queen Elizabeth 1 and with all the pomp and ceremony and elegance of that era, we were truly in a fairy-land world. We traveled in England and stayed at the famed Claridge’s in London. Then we took the ferry across the channel and traveled by train to the French Riviera where we stated at the magnificent Negresco Hotel in Nice. I thought I had surely died and gone to heaven. I was madly in love with a man who obviously adored me and was transformed into a world that I did not know existed. Norman made $1,500 at the Casino in Monte Carlo. We continued our travels to beautiful Lake Como where we stated at the Villa D’Este. Norman met some automobile friends there. I remember a wonderful boat trip we took on the lake. Then we went to Paris and stayed at the Ritz Hotel and traveled around to all the exotic shows at night. We sailed for home from LeHavre. I’ll never forget the sight of that huge ship anchored in the harbor ablaze with lights. I really had no idea how we were going to get on board. I swam in the swimming pool on the ship when it was so rough, the water went almost out of the pool.

We arrived home in West Newton just before Thanksgiving and I found myself with a big house to run, a step-daughter and her husband living in the house and two young teenage boys coming home for the holidays. I should have had a nervous breakdown right then and there because I knew nothing about anything that was at all domestic. Most of all, I knew nothing about cooking. After all, I had been living in hotels for years. To add to my problems, Norman would phone from his office quite often to say that he was bringing some supposedly hot-shot automobile man from Detroit home for dinner. I almost had apoplexy, but fortunately the Brae Burn Country Club was nearby. I decided the best thing for me to do was quickly go to Cooking School especially before those two boys got home from the Choate School where they were in Wallingford, CT. I had time to go to one class before they got home, and then I was too busy cooking to go to school anymore.

Life went on and I became quickly adjusted to my new and very happy life. Norman and I had wonderful times together and, to this day, I treasure some wonderful memories. We traveled often especially to Detroit for automobile business. We took cruises, and went to New York occasionally just for the fun of it or to see a special show with our good friends: Eloise and Dyke Arnold. Pat, Chuck and Peter welcomed me into their family and I quickly grew to love them and think of them as my own. On our first wedding anniversary, we bought the house in Falmouth and spent some happy summers there together. However, the years took their toll and Norman was increasingly battling severe alcoholism.

After almost eight years, a fantastic event occurred. Norma was born in the Richardson House of the Boston-Lying-In Hospital and we took home a beautiful baby girl. The nurse told me that when she told my husband he had a little girl that he almost jumped through the window with excitement. We were beside ourselves with joy. That fall, we rented a house in Palm Beach and spent the winter there, but decided that life was not for us and we returned, happily, to West Newton. We soon realized that the house there was big for us because both Chuck and Peter were in or were graduating from college and were about to fly off on their own wings. We found the house in Weston (then under construction) and so were able to make some changes mostly to accommodate Beattie who, by then, had become a real part of our family. Norma was entered in the Tenacre Country Day School and found many friends in the neighborhood. Norman’s condition was worsening and he spent many months in sanatoriums and hospitals and retreats. He died at age 65 in terrible condition.

Norma and I continued on alone. I worked part-time at Wellesley College and then in the administration office at the Rivers Country Day School in Weston. One time I was invited to the Heart Fund Ball and I was to have a blind date. I later learned from Tom Wilson that he wanted no part of it and I didn’t much either. I had other problems on my mind and going to a Ball was not one of them. But I did have a strapless white gown and I got myself done up and when I answered the door, Tom later said he nearly fainted. He was convinced that any female who needed a blind date at this stage of life must weigh, for one thing, at least 300 pounds. I was not very excited about getting married. I was just trying to cope with some of the problems I had. But Tom was on my doorstep and he had no idea of letting go. We were married in Largo, FL, with Leana and Peter and returned to Weston to live a tranquil life. A year and a half later, he had a massive heart attack driving the car and died almost instantly.

Norma was, by this time, in the Junior High School in Weston. I took a part-time job there in the library. One weekend in the spring, I took Norma and Beattie to Falmouth for the weekend primarily to clean the house and get it ready to rent that summer. When we returned home, I could hear the phone ringing when we were still in the garage. It was Dyke wanting me to have dinner with him that evening. I politely refused because I was tired and dirty and had to go to work the next morning as well as feed Norma and Beattie that evening. He insisted to such an extent that I thought something was terribly wrong. The only social contact I had had with him after Eloise died was the previous New Year’s Eve when he took me to the Algonquin Club for dinner, and then one night there was a party in downtown Boston to which we were both invited and our hostess asked him to pick me up. When he did, I told him to tell any other hostess that he preferred not to and he quickly informed me that I should leave that to him. Anyway, I was aware that I was berserk about him and also aware that many eyes were on us at Brae Burn. In fact, Frank Sawyer made the comment to a friend when he saw us both at a party “shut up and pray”. The prayers were answered because that night when I thought I was too tired and dirty to go anywhere, I did go out for dinner at the Red Coach Grille with Dyke and he not only proposed to me but was very emphatic that we get married right away. It seems that there was a bet among the foursome on the first tee of the golf course that afternoon that he was going to marry me and I guess before he got around the course, he had decided it was a good idea. I was ecstatic and the happiest person in the whole world. And everybody was elated for us except for a few very disappointed widows. We were married in the chapel of the Village Church in Wellesley on June 25, 1972. Norma was my maid-of-honor. We flew to Hawaii the next day. Norma stayed with Leana and Peter and Leslie and David, and Dyke and I traveled to Maui and to the big island where we stayed at the beautiful Mauna Kea Hotel. We took Norma and Leslie with us there because we thought they would be interested in the volcano. They could have cared less, but they certainly loved the excursion. Dyke adored Norma and thought of her as his own daughter. He took such pride in taking her alone to show her where she was going to live and the room which was to be hers in his house. I remember the day he went to Father’s Day at Dana Hall. This was the girl he had carried on the plane for me when she and I flew to Palm Beach and she was only an infant. And she was the daughter of his very close friend. He and Norman were like brothers. When we went to Dyke’s house to live, Norman’s pool cue was handing in his pool room. We had nine and a half wonderful years together and had moved to a small house on Grove Street not long before he died so suddenly. I was saddened beyond, I thought, any recovery.

A friend of mine said to me, soon after I lost Dyke, “Jean, you put your left foot forward”. That one statement helped me tremendously and I soon realized that life has to go on. I have repeated that one sentence to many who have been in trouble or grief over the years. I decided to volunteer at the Newton-Wellesley Hospital, and I worked there for many months on the front desk. About a year later, Carl Beckers called me from St. Louis. He and his wife had been casual friends of ours in West Falmouth for many summers. I think he simply felt obligated to inquire for the widow of his good friend, Dyke Arnold. But, in the course of the conversation he learned that I planned to go to Palm Beach to play in a croquet tournament, and I’m sure he thought that was the silliest thing he had ever heard. Of course, he knew nothing then about the sophisticated game we play now. He left then for Japan. I did not expect to hear from him again, nor did I care. He called when he returned from the Orient to check on the dates I was to be in Florida, and said, as it happened, he had a business meeting there at the same time. So he did, but it was one he arranged because as Chairman of the Committee it was his privilege to set up the meeting in any city he chose.

He arrived in the midst of the tournament. I found myself out dancing every night and was rushed off my feet being wined and dined all over town. In the day-time I had a mallet in my hand but hardly knew which wicket I was headed for. I didn’t win in the tournament but won a wonderful man who was soon to be my husband. He took me to the airport to return to Boston and cried as the plane took off. A real friendship had turned very quickly into deep love, but there were serious complications. We lived half-way across the country from each other. He invited me to St. Louis to visit and we then realized we had to overcome our obstacles. We set a wedding date, and I returned to Wellesley to begin to sever my deep roots there. We were married at our house in Falmouth on July 24, 1982. Carl left almost immediately for Madison,WI, where he lectured at the Graduate School of Banking and I followed him there for the graduation.

Our lives together in St. Louis began at a hectic pace and very happily. I was welcomed very warmly by a host of Carl’s friends, and we quickly found ourselves involved in a delightful social life. In addition, Carl had many involvements including Washington University and as the Honorary Consul General of Japan, he had constant commitments. I quickly discovered that St. Louis offered many advantages and opportunities with a world-class Symphony Orchestra, fine Theatre with all the Broadway shows, and one of the finest Botanical Gardens in the world. I had landed in the right Town! Soon I became involved in the entertainment at the Bellerive Country Club, and for the next thirteen years found myself with almost a full-time job running most or all of the social activity at the Club. In addition, I was asked to serve on the Board of the World Affairs Council and the Women’s Association of the Symphony Orchestra, so I was very busy. When I had left Wellesley, I remarked to a friend that I was going where I knew no one, and would have nothing to do. She said “That won’t last long”. And, so it didn’t.

During those early years, Carl and I traveled a great deal. We went to Europe and to Australia, to Hawaii and to Japan and every year we went to several cities to play in croquet tournaments. We had started croquet at Bellerive which quickly grew into a major activity at the Club. Every year we went to the Financial Analyst Conference held in various cities throughout the country. Carl was very actively involved in the organization and held in great respect. He has many awards given to him in appreciation of his work.

We, also, found a house in Ladue which was to be our own and we have spent many happy years there. We have spent all of our summers in West Falmouth which is partly home to us. Hardly a day passes that we don’t comment how truly blessed we have been.

As I read this over, I am amazed at the twists and turns my life has taken. I have had tragedies and great sorrow, but also tremendous happiness. Fate is strange and I have truly been very lucky. Not many have four chances to remake a life. I have had wonderful marriages and husbands who have been very, very good to me.

I have given over the years with a great deal of volunteer work. In Boston I was involved for many years with the Florence Crittenton League where I served on the Board of Directors and was President of the local chapter. I was on the Board of the Boston Circle for Charity and ran a Ball for them which was the first function held at the addition to the Ritz Carlton Hotel in Boston. As Vice President of the Dartmouth Women’s Club, I was chairman of a Ball held at the University Club which was a tremendous success. For years, I was on the Board of the local chapter of the D.A.R. and represented them at the annual Congress in Washington. I enjoyed my term on the Board of Horizons for Youth under whose guidance a great many under-privileged children were cared for each year. When a mammoth fundraising event took place at the Boston Museum of Fine Arts, I placed second in money raised. In addition, I did a bit of church work and especially enjoyed working on many fairs. One year at the Second Church in Newton, I was asked to be in a play. I was cast as a Country Club socialite. In the program it stated that I was the only one out of character. I, secretly, thought they made a mistake!

With whatever I have been able to accomplish in my lifetime, nothing compares to my enormous satisfaction and my reward in bringing up a beautiful daughter: both inside and out. She has been a source of great joy to me, and I revel in her happiness today. She has earned the respect of her family and friends and her co-workers by her diligence and loyalty to whatever she has undertaken. When one can watch a child grow up to be a responsible and caring adult, all else fades into the shadows.