Mrs. Huifen Gong

HER LIFE JOURNEY

from Changguo, Ningbo, China

September 6, 1931

to Suffern, New York, USA

June 13, 2015

龚惠芬女士的人生旅程

1931年 9月6中国宁波象山昌国至2015年 6月13日美国纽约瑟芬恩

Ms. Huifen Gong of Suffern, NY passed away peacefully on June 13, 2015, at the age of eighty-three, surrounded by her devoted family. Ms. Gong is survived by her loving husband of sixty years, Shanneng Zhang; daughters Lena Zhang and Jing Zhang; and grandchildren James Matten of New York City, and Fia Swanson of San Francisco.

Huifen was born in 1931 to an affluent family in Changguo, a coastal town about a hundred miles south of Shanghai in the district of Ningbo, China. The whole family from paternal grandfather to house maids had quite doted on her from birth. At the end of World War II, fourteen- year old Huifen left home for boarding school. Once at the end of a holiday break, departing to return to school, she left a discontented message in large chalk characters on the wooden entrance gate in front of the family home proclaiming that her going away dinner was not fancy enough and the entertainment for her friends was below her standards. She had not matured yet into the self-sacrificing and conscientious adult we all knew her as. Huifen was smart and pretty, leading quite a privileged life at this young age, although history was about to provide challenges to her and her family that would build her character to the strength that it was until the day she passed. At this young time in her life, it was unusual for a young girl to receive an education beyond elementary school, and quite rare to attend a boarding school.

As a result of the Chinese civil war and the new government’s economic redistribution some six years later, her family lost all of their wealth and status, and her father was relegated to a low-paying job as a state worker. After passing a very competitive entrance exam she was admitted into an engineering school. She was able to complete her higher education with odd jobs and some financial aid from her aunt. The once-pampered princess was rapidly transformed into an immensely frugal and responsible hard-working adult. For many years she sent more than two-thirds of her earnings home to support her sisters’ and brother’s education.

Ms. Gong earned her degree from the Polytechnical Institute of Zhejiang Province in Hangzhou, China, where she met and fell in love with her future husband and life-long companion, Shanneng Zhang, a fellow engineering student. They both stayed and taught at the same Institute. Later Ms. Gong was assigned by the government to be the head engineer of the Honglei Silk Textile Company in Hangzhou. At this time the young couple raised their two daughters during a very difficult period in Chinese history, marked especially by the Cultural Revolution, and the challenges posed by intellectual talents like Ms. Gong and Mr. Zhang. After retiring, Ms. Gong’s reputation was such that she was sought by another Institute to continue teaching for several years.

In 1997, Ms. Gong and Mr. Zhang immigrated to America to be closer to their daughters and to enjoy their new grandchildren, James in New York and Fia in San Francisco. Ms. Gong’s new life and country provided a wonderful base for the two of them to travel and spend time reading, writing and making new friends.

A prolific writer her entire life, Ms. Gong is the author of two textbooks for the Silk Textile Institute, as well as two personal memoirs. She was an avid world explorer, and life-long scholar of western history, culture and literature. During her many travels she wrote journals which were published in the widely read Hangzhou Daily newspaper.

She was very versatile throughout her youth, and continued to be all her life. She was not only an academic star student throughout all her schooling; she was also talented in Chinese calligraphy, painting, music, Chinese traditional dance, Chinese sword dance, and basketball.

Ms. Huifen Gong had a passionate personality, and a warm and generous heart she shared with all who knew her. She was especially thoughtful towards her extended family, students, and friends throughout her long and rich life. She will be missed everyday by her family, and remembered fondly by her many friends and relatives on both sides of the Pacific Ocean.

A memorial service will be held at 10:00 am on Tuesday June 23 at Wanamaker & Carlough Funeral Home, 177 Route 59, Suffern, NY 10901, followed by a private burial service.

FAMILY TRIBUTES AT MEMORIAL SERVICE 23, 2015

James:

Hello everyone. Thank you for coming. My names is James Matten, Huifen’s Grandson.

Many of you know my Grandma as a loving loyal Wife to Shanneng, dedicated Mother to Lena and Jing, and Grandmother to me and my cousin Fia. And she was all of this.

Born into a family of considerable means in 1931 in Zhejiang province near Shanghai, she lived a full and eventful life. While always well educated, her circumstances fell dramatically with the Japanese occupation, WW2, and the Communist Revolution and the ascendance of Mao Tse Tung. My Grandmother made the most of a very difficult situation which lasted for decades under the communists, but still raised two beautiful and talented daughters with my Grandpa while maintaining a career in silk engineering. After her daughters came to America, married and had children, my Grandmother and Grandfather happily uprooted themselves to be primary caregivers for me and Fia, as China’s policies finally liberalized. They always exhibited a deep love for us and a passion for our well being. For a time, they even took care of us on different coasts. My Grandfather in NYC taking care of me, and my Grandmother in SF taking care of Fia.

Later on, from the United States, my Grandmother and Grandfather were able to travel to Europe, the Caribbean, Japan, and were able to return to China a number of times. These travels had been previously unimaginable to them.

My Grandmother was a published author in China and always exhibited an understated yet remarkable intelligence. She was both a poet and an engineer.

She was athletic and even in her 70s demonstrated her mean perimeter jump shot in basketball, which some of you witnessed.

My Grandmother was always thoughtful, graceful, and very generous. And we will miss her profoundly. But let us always celebrate her life.

Lena, Huifen's older daughter:

My mother Huifen Gong was born in 1931 to an affluent family in Changguo, a coastal town about a hundred miles south of Shanghai in the district of Ningbo, China. The whole family from paternal grandfather to house maids had quite doted on her from birth. At the end of World War II, fourteen- year old Huifen left home for boarding school. Once at the end of a holiday break, departing to return to school, she left a discontented message in large chalk characters on the wooden entrance gate in front of the family home proclaiming that her going away dinner was not fancy enough and the entertainment for her friends was below her standards. She had not matured yet into the self-sacrificing and conscientious adult we all knew her as. Mama was smart and pretty, leading quite a privileged life at this young age, although history was about to provide challenges to her and her family that would build her character to the strength that it was until the day she passed. At this young time in her life, it was unusual for a young girl to receive an education beyond elementary school, and quite rare to attend a boarding school.

As a result of the Chinese civil war and the new government’s economic redistribution some six years later, mama’s family lost all of their wealth and status, and her father was relegated to a low-paying job as a state worker. After passing a very competitive entrance exam my mother was admitted into an engineering school. She was able to complete her higher education with odd jobs and some financial aid from her aunt. The once-pampered princess was rapidly transformed into an immensely frugal and responsible hard-working adult. For many years she sent more than two-third of her earnings home to support her sisters’ and brother’s education, and continued to support her mother’s living after her father’s death.

Mother earned her degree from the Polytechnic Institute of Zhejiang Province in Hangzhou, China, where she met and fell in love with her future husband and life-long companion, my father Shanneng Zhang, a fellow engineering student. They both stayed and taught at the same Institute. During one of the many political movements in China mother was re-assigned by the government to work in factory of Honglei Silk Textile Company in Hangzhou. At this time the young couple raised their two daughters during a very difficult period in Chinese history, marked especially by the Cultural Revolution, and the challenges posed by intellectual talents like my parents. Huifen late rose to be in charge of engineering department at Honglei Silk Textile Company. After retiring, mother’s was sought by another Institute to continue teaching for several years.

In 1997, my parents immigrated to America to be closer to their daughters and to enjoy their new grandchildren, James in New York and Fia in San Francisco. Mama’s new life and country provided a wonderful base for the two of them to travel and spend time reading, writing and making new friends.

A prolific writer her entire life, mom is the author of two textbooks for the Silk Textile Institute, as well as two personal memoirs. She was an avid world explorer, and life-long scholar of western history, culture and literature. During her many travels she wrote journals which were published in the widely read Hangzhou Daily newspaper.

Mama was very versatile throughout her youth, and continued to be all her life. She was not only an academic star student throughout all her schooling; she was also talented in Chinese calligraphy, painting, music, Chinese traditional dance, Chinese sword dance, and basketball.

Mama had a passionate personality, and a warm and generous heart she shared with all who knew her. She was especially thoughtful towards her extended family, students, and friends throughout her long and rich life. She will be missed everyday by her family, and remembered fondly by her many friends and relatives on both sides of the Pacific Ocean.

I attended college in Shanghai a day’s journey from home when I was 18, and never lived with my family after. However, we are a very close family even during the first nine years when I studied and worked in the United States with very limited financial means. Our communications across the Pacific had always been often, with many letters, and the occasional phone calls of poor cross ocean reception quality whenever I could afford it. After my parents immigrated to the states after both of them retired, we visited each other often for periods. My mama even spent a year and half helping me caring for our daughter Fia after her birth. We had wonderful times traveling together sometimes. However, it was my memories of mother from my childhood that most frequently revisit me in these days.

One of my childhood memories was her voice. I put my head against her shoulder sitting on her lap in an outdoor cinema before the show. She was talking with a lady next to us. Mama’s voice was musical and so clear—like a spring stream running. It also felt so close to me as if it was coming from my own body. It was probably my reliving the mother-daughter one-body experience after my fetal life in her womb.

Mama was not an opera singer. However, her singing of “Butterfly Lovers” and “Dreams of Red Chamber” carried unique feelings that often moved me. She was not a professional dancer but my first dance teacher, and a very engaging one. She often gave demonstrations and good suggestions to my choreography.

Some other of my childhood memories of mother are associated with colors and flowers.

This happened on a rainy day when I was about three. I was, just being picked up by mother. Red color streaking from large peonies like scarlet paper flowers into a puddle of water on the road. “Oh, Mama let me down, I dropped my flower.” I exclaimed, fearing that mom would leave the half soaked paper flower behind. This was my award for being a good girl at the childcare for a week. Struggling to balance with the umbrella and me on her back, she bent down and picked up the half-soaked paper flower, shook the dripping water off, then handed it back to me. “It’s your award, you deserve it, keep it,” she said with a bright smile and light in her eyes.

Snow white color calla lilies were on display in our activity room at the boarding kindergarten when our class came back from a field trip. “Is my mama here?” I shouted out asking and looking around wildly. Calla lilies were my mama’s favorite flowers. I sensed her visit. A teacher came out told me: yes Lena. Your mama waited for a long time but still had to leave for a meeting. That night, I dreamed of mama holding calla lilies waiting under the big tree in the garden downstairs. The night shift staff had to take me to the tree to calm me down from crying. That weekend, mama told me that she wanted to see me so much, but she also had a job, and responsibility was important. I nodded, and maybe I understood then, and certainly understand now.

It was Chinese New Year again. Layers of yellow paper cut in flower paddles shapes glued to bare branches to make plum blossoms decoration for the special holiday. The yellow plum blossoms we made were less expensive than buying the real ones from a flower shop, and they lasted much longer. I always look forward doing this art project with mama.

Mama sewed a silk green dress for my first poetry reciting performance at the City Children’s Palace. She later taught me how to sew, which I still sometimes enjoy doing to this day.

Mama took me to the elementary school entry exam, and praised me for doing more work than the exam asked for, and getting placed in an advanced level class.

Mama read preparation material to me for the college entrance exam while I was running a fever lying in bed. After the exam, the neighbor boy came running to tell Mama that I was accepted by one of the top colleges. He had seen it posted in the community center. Mom’s smile was like sunshine spreading across her face. She told that was her most proud day.

Mama was not a hugging and kissing in public type, like some career women of her time and culture. However, she hid by the classroom window on my first day of daycare until I stopped crying. She would caress my face, gently squeezing my calves to feel my growth while I was asleep. I would always keep still to enjoy special moments like those.

Mama held high standards in her work, and often received awards of excellence in her textile engineering field. Once she even received a rare double level salary raise. She naturally held high standards for me as well, even though never like a modern Tiger Mom keeping eyes on my daily school work. Once I showed her my final exam papers—a 98 in Chinese, and a 99 in math. “Understandable, you received 98 on Chinese. Literature is subjective.” Mom said, “But, who took the one point from your math score? 1+1 could have a different result than 2 now?” Mom accepted no excuses for carelessness and inaccuracy in my work.

Mama was versatile and knowledgeable. She offered her critique to my painting, writing, dance, and my design work, voluntarily sometimes. Even after I have been practicing architectural design for twenty years, she once came to my studio with numerous diagrams of six chimney design ideas for my project, and followed up to see if I used any of her ideas.

No doubt, a strict and persistent mother, mama always expected me to outperform my peers. Too often after became an adult, especially, a mother myself, do I realize that all she wanted was the best for me. Now mama is forever silent. How I wish I could hear her nagging again. It would be only music to my ears. I love you mama. I will remember everything you taught me.

Your loving daughter Lena

Jing, Huifen' Younger Daughter:

Sister, the memories you shared were very sweet and informational to me. I remember the green silk dress which was handed down to me. It was interesting to know the story associated with it. Also I think our mom had double standards for us. You mentioned that she questioned you where the missing point was when you showed her your 99 math score. But once I showed her my 94 math score, she nodded: "Not bad!"

Dear Family and Friends, Thank you all for coming to celebrate our mom's life. Our mom was born in 1931, a year of sheep. I noticed that people born in the sheep year all have loving and tender hearts. Mom was certainly one of them.

When she was pregnant with me, our nation was going through disasters, both nature and manmade. We had shortages of food. As the result I was born small and weak. I suffered many illnesses. Once I was all bones and skin. Parents took me to hospital. They heard people commenting: "Oh this baby will not make it". Doctors suggested harsh treatment. Mom shake her head: "no, no, no! I will not let me baby girl suffer through this." They brought me back home. They fed me with the most suitable food they could found. I survived. Throughout my infancy and childhood, there was endless Chinese medicine pots and painful needle acupuncture. But I always remember my parents' love the most. Eventually they nurtured me back to a happy and healthy child.

In our family, education has always been the top priority. When we grew up, schools were not free. Our tuition money had always been saved from the very beginning of summer. We lived on whatever was left. Under no circumstance was anyone allowed to touch that money. Every first school day, my sister and I would each hold an envelope with tuition inside and go to school. Mom also tried to cultivate us. She made us spoke Madeline instead of local dialect. She had me tried various music instruments. However I was lack of talent. Mom wanted me to lean dancing. As my sister mentioned, and you all saw from a picture, mom was our first dancing teacher. Mom, I didn't let you down on learning dancing. As a result, I was selected into a competitive performing school at age of 10 and continued with my training. You were very proud of me.

Mom had a good heart. She sympathized with less fortunate people and cared for many. Our home often hosted relatives, sick village folks or young students. For example one day there was a fishing man showed up in front of our door. His eye was hit by an object while he was working on his boat. He needed medical attention which would only be available in big cities or he may lose his vision. With an introduction letter from a relative, mom let this total strange in. Father took him to a good hospital. The fishing man's eye was saved. He became a good friend since then. I also remember once mom hosted a peasant father and daughter. The daughter was one year old than me. But she was no bigger than me. She was ill and was also looking for a good doctor. Mom gave her my share of milk and gave her my clothes to use. I didn't appreciate Mom's kindness then and was resentful. "Why do you gave my jacket to the girl?!" Mom, please forgive me. Your good heart was the gold. Mom won her respect and love in our extended family and among her friends and neighbors. After learning of her passing, many held a big memorial service for her in her home village yesterday. Mom, we know your soul was with them.

Our family is a loving family. Father has always been soft and sweet. But mom showed her love differently. Mom was firm and stern. She was the disciplinary. When I was a child I wished she could be different. Now as a parent myself, I realized how difficult this role is and how necessary it is. Mom, thank you for disciplined me. After I grew up mom retired. Then I noticed her personality change. She became softer and sweeter in her way. She spent time to make me pretty dresses or decorated my hat with silk flowers. She chatted with me more. I enjoyed all those and we grew closer.

My sister left home early for school and had a job out of town. But when she came back, it was always like holidays for our family. There were often a few batches of her friends would come and go as guests during her stay. We cooked meals and made sleeping arrangement for them all. Mom and Dad showed warm hospitality toward all visitors.

Later my sister came to US to study and I followed her shortly. We left behind mom and dad, and they became empty nest. Those were difficult years for us. We missed each other. Back then there were no emails. Phone calls were quite pricey. Receiving parents' letters were always very joyful moments for me. I would read each letter repeatedly. Mom's letters were often sentimental and poetic as well as informational. I keep her letters in my school bag. Sometimes I read them during my professors' boring lengthy lectures, pretending to read notes.

When my son James was born, Paul and I decided to ask my parents to be the primary care givers. Mom and dad immediately set out to join us. They left behind their friends, relatives and familiar environment for the love of us. They saved my career. They spent 18 years with us. Those 18 years has been good years in our life. It filled up with many joyful events. We went to many basketball games. Mom knitted orange and black color Princeton University team scarves. We wore them to root for our "Tiger Team". We went to many outings and celebrated many birthdays and holidays together.

Life has beginning and ending. Mom's whole life was beautiful. Now she is resting in beautiful peace.

Mom, I love you.

Fia Swanson Huifen’s granddaughter:

Fia shared her story of her grandmother’s caring heart, even for the family dog Asta. Abu (Chang Guo Huifen’s dialect, Fia’s mother’s mother tongue) suggested to treat Asta like people in the family getting different dishes instead of the same dog food from pet store. She then read a poem from Huifen’s memoir: 小语絮絮

藏在我心中的他

泰戈尔诗曰：“你离我有多远哪？果实呀”

“我藏在你心里那，花呀“

善能就藏在我心里，

知事，知情，知心，我最知道他。

我与你校园恋，25岁结婚，27岁生孩子，

现已70有余，

岁月匆匆，但记忆犹新，

过去的忧如昨天，

往事没有苍老。

Roger, the older son-in-law:

A Prayer for Waipo

We pray that your eternal rest is peaceful in the loving protection of God,

so that you may look over those who you have loved on this earth, and the

many who love you still. We pray that we may join you in heaven, and

promise to you to lead our lives as God would have us, so that we may ensure

our place next to you for eternity in his kingdom. We pray that you may

know how full of gratitude our hearts shall always be for you, for all of

the love you have given, for all of the teaching you have shared, for all of

the caring you have shown, -- not to mention the worrying and as your

daughter has pointed out, the loving nagging to make us all better. Thank

you God for giving us Huifen. You know best the treasure that she is, and

we know that is why You have taken her from us to be by Your side. In the

name of the Lord, we pray, Amen.

Roger June 23, 2015

我们祈祷您永恒的生命在上帝的爱护下安息。这样您能看顾在地上您曾经爱过的人和很多仍然爱着您的人。

我们祈祷我们能在天堂与您重逢。

我们对您承诺，会依照上帝的按排渡过我们的岁月。这样才能保证在他的天国里，挨着您有我们的一席之地。

我们祈祷您能知道,我们对您怀有持久深长的感恩之心, 因为您付出的尽致的爱，所有的指教和全意的关怀，

且不提那份担忧，就如您女儿指出的爱意的唠叨使我们更加完善。

谢谢上帝给了我们惠芬。 您知道她是最珍贵的财宝，为之将她从我们这里带到了您的身边。

以主的名义祈祷, 阿门。

罗杰 斯旺森，大女婿 2015年6月23日

MORE FAMILY TRIBUTES AFTER MEMORIAL SERVICES:

Kite with a Broken String

By Lena, June 29, 2015, the first evening back to San Francisco after Mama’s passing

On Ocean Beach, in San Francisco

Where Mama and I walked so many times together before

With Baba’s boyish silliness throwing sand around,

With Jing’s prancing steps trailed by a silk scarf so colorful

With Fia coated in hot pink sweater, bouncing around bare foot picking seashells

And Roger hunched over looking through his camera lenses.

Today, and now, I am alone.

The burning sun is setting, almost touching the horizon stretching to infinity.

Seagulls perching in equal spacing on the beach house roof ridge, cry out loud,

Competing with the roaring waves, washing away the sand on the beach relentlessly

Only to push and spread it back again,

A perpetual cycle like the lives in the universe?

A white kite in orange reflection is rising, free with its broken string

Drifting left and right in the gentle wind, so slowly,

A square, a speck, then a tiny dot……

To lose itself into the melancholy of this boundless evening sky?

Or to chase the setting sun to see if it would rise again

On the distant shore of the same ocean?

(Sadly, the setting sun, my mama is not going to rise again…….

But maybe she is the open sky now looking down and embracing me, the kite with a broken string.)

韩映虹, Huifen's niece in China 2015年6月28日

大洋彼岸的思念

亲爱的大阿姨

您在大洋彼岸谢幕

祖国亲人却不肯离席

思念您的音容笑貌

丰功伟绩——

您是龚家的功臣

和主心骨

那年家中失火

您才十二岁

黑夜里您抱起熟睡的弟妹下楼

俄顷，楼梯烧断……

大阿姨

没有您，就没有我妈

您就是我的再生母亲！

家徒四壁 勤俭节约

30多元的工资

每月寄回家里20元

持之以恒，直到上世纪80年代

外婆去世。

著书立说，领得稿费100元

一分也舍不得用，悉数汇回家里

供弟妹读书，补贴家用

是长女，就得将责任扛在肩上吗？

未必呀。

而您却使命似的扛着

直至最后一息

泛爱众，恒爱人

和蔼可亲，诚心诚意

但凡去杭州办事、求医或求学的

无不得到您和大姨父的关照：

生意好不好？眼睛痛不痛？

别动别动，我来我来

我妈生我在杭州

每天您给煎红枣汤

暑假去杭州，留影西湖中

西子湖还在，您已驾鹤去

您对大家好

所以，大家都哭了……

龚立, Huifen's grand-nephew

得知姑婆去世的消息，我很震惊，不愿相信。再三确认后，很是悲痛。在和我同辈的小辈之中，受到姑婆的关心照顾属我最多最深。我还没来得及做出一些成绩让姑婆舒心满意，她就这样去了。我很惭愧自己的不争气。

上次写的邮件不知您有没有拿给姑婆过目，其中一些幼稚的想法也许能博姑婆一笑。

看了姑姑写给您的邮件，叔叔写的回忆姑婆的文章，我了解了姑婆的一些生平，给我的映像是姑婆品行端庄，严于律己，关心小辈。原来姑婆不止对我，对所有的小辈都一样的关心备至，真切的希望我们成长的茁壮。

我还记得小时候与姑婆的见面，姑婆的话不多，不常笑，很严肃的样子。但拉着姐妹们的手回首往事时，眼里的真情，我看的真真切切。少时的回忆到如今竟仍这样鲜明！后来，姑婆写了回忆家乡的书。当时还小的我读了，觉得文字亲切，感情浓厚，其他姑婆看了则都赞不绝口。现在想来一定是本老少皆宜的好书。再后来，我总是从其他姑婆口中得知，大姑婆称赞我听话懂事，其实我都受之有愧。

我的成长，身边的人促进了我很多。妈妈的幸苦我看在眼里，催我上进。姑婆和您虽远隔重洋，还不断鼓励我，也是我努力生活的动力之一。然而我当面感谢姑婆的机会就这样失去了。我临表涕零，室友问如何，我也不再理会。说了那么多，我相信姑婆都能听到。今后我也唯有勤勉努力才不辜负她老人家这些年对我的赞许。

最后，也请您和美国的各位亲戚，特别是姑公节哀，保重身体。你们一直是我们的后盾，但别忘了，我们也是你们的后盾，坚硬，有力。

By 映虹

亲爱的姐姐：

今天上午我们在昌国昌鑫饭店举行了大阿姨追思会。出席追思会的有舅妈、龚氏三姐妹，阿良大，我爸爸，桂芳舅舅，徐家金榜表舅、金国表舅、金卫表舅，燕云表姨、云云表姨以及他们的家属，阿四阿姨，锡曹公。表兄妹中除了何东何露有事请假外都来了，红飞、海华、阿琼也来了。晚辈中，泱泱带头，能来的也都来了。会议由我父亲主持，大家对着大阿姨的遗像三鞠躬（大阿姨在《语在夕阳》里的照片），默哀三分钟。接着由我宣读6月16日写给你们的邮件。然后是龚氏三姐妹声泪俱下地分别怀念大阿姨的生平事迹，梅阿姨写了好几张信纸怀念大阿姨，念到动情处她泣不成声地呜呜痛哭，引得在座的三十来位亲朋好友都泪流满面。接着锡曹公、云云阿姨、舅妈、坚波、桂芳舅、阿华等也纷纷上前鞠躬发言表达哀思，愿大阿姨一路走好。会议最后，我爸爸说：愿逝者安息！生者坚强！

之后，我们在该饭店共进午餐，相约健康平安。

照片拍了，但现在导不出来。稍候。

For Abu, by Fia July 12, 2015

Death is a mark of time whispering better things lie ahead. Perhaps we did not send her enough flowers on Mother’s day, or call her enough just to hear her voice. But her soul is not gone, evaporated, or buried. Though I no longer have her delicate hands to cradle me, or her clear eyes to bring me home, I still have her. I don’t have to remember her, because she is still here. She is with me, radiating, believing in me just as I knew she would never cease to do, reflecting: “Isn’t is sad how dogs must eat the same thing every day?”

A poem read by James at beginning of memorial service

Ithaka

BY C. P. CAVAFY

As you set out for Ithaka

hope your road is a long one,

full of adventure, full of discovery.

Laistrygonians, Cyclops,

angry Poseidon—don’t be afraid of them:

you’ll never find things like that on your way

as long as you keep your thoughts raised high,

as long as a rare excitement

stirs your spirit and your body.

Laistrygonians, Cyclops,

wild Poseidon—you won’t encounter them

unless you bring them along inside your soul,

unless your soul sets them up in front of you.

Hope your road is a long one.

May there be many summer mornings when,

with what pleasure, what joy,

you enter harbors you’re seeing for the first time;

may you stop at Phoenician trading stations

to buy fine things,

mother of pearl and coral, amber and ebony,

sensual perfume of every kind—

as many sensual perfumes as you can;

and may you visit many Egyptian cities

to learn and go on learning from their scholars.

Keep Ithaka always in your mind.

Arriving there is what you’re destined for.

But don’t hurry the journey at all.

Better if it lasts for years,

so you’re old by the time you reach the island,

wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way,

not expecting Ithaka to make you rich.

Ithaka gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you wouldn't have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

And if you find her poor, Ithaka won’t have fooled you.

Wise as you will have become, so full of experience,

you’ll have understood by then what these Ithakas mean.

By the Husband Shanneng Zhang:

挚爱的亲朋好友们，

我的爱妻,同窗同学,59年的生活伴侣,龚惠芬,于2015年6月13日晨9时20分因脑溢血在纽约Raso安宁医院去世。 享年83岁。

她的过世是我一生中最严厉的打击和损失。也给全家人带来无比的悲痛。6月23日我们与在美的亲朋好友半百人在住家附近的 Wanamaker & Carlough 殡仪馆为她举办葬礼。那天惠芬身着缎衣安然地躺在鲜花丛中。亲友们瞻 仰她的遗容,缅怀她的生平,颂扬她生前的为人为事.

1997年春已退休的惠芬和我从杭州侨居美国。我们余热发光,为俩个爱女看顾孩子的同时,也亨受了天伦之乐。在新的国都里我们过着幸福恩爱的生活。在纽约和旧金山两地先后生活了17年之后于2014年春迁移到纽约郊外一个绿树成荫,溪水潺潺的小镇 Suffern,住进了一座设备完全的老人公寓。

侨居期间惠芬撰写了309篇文章。并汇编成册:<<;小语絮絮>>和<<语在夕阳>>。她写到平静甜蜜的日子,艰难奋斗 的时期,对父母胞弟的怀念,对妹妹亲人的相思,对儿孙们的爱和期望,也记录了我们俩在世界列国旅游的趣味经 历。她的书也脍炙人口。因而在悼念会中家人和朋友们穿流着朗读她的书文。当外孙女读到<<善能你在我心里>>一文时,我对惠芬的不舍之情倍增。悼念会之后,长长的车龙尾随着她的灵车,缓缓地送她到了Valleau Cemetery, 一座花园墓地。她和我们外孙的奶奶,生前的亲家母相邻为伴,长眠安息。

惠芬在美生活的日子里,非常想念祖国的亲朋好友们。新居边的绿林小溪常引起她对故乡的回忆。也许是她对自己的生命之终有了予感,羊年之初她急切地想再回国与亲人最后相聚一堂。在我们准备着行程的那段日子里,她不期地离开了。她虽然走得匆匆,却去得非常安祥。

我和我的女儿们深切地感谢所有的亲朋好友们对惠芬的各种型式的吊念和对我们的亲切慰问。惠芬生前常说亲情和友情是人生的财富。失去她是我心灵上无可比喻的损失,可是我依然富有。您们的关怀带给我莫大的安慰。

愿惠芬的灵魂安息。

张善能 携女儿: 张列娜,张晶