Mary Carlough Kiely

Mary Carlough Kiely was a passionate consumer of politics, history, and bargains from any clearance rack. She poured her artist’s soul into the pen-and-ink drawings and paintings scattered around her home. She was also a master of the art of the eye-roll, usually accompanied by her quiet wit that left many in stitches throughout her 76 years.

Born on March 30, 1944, in Suffern, NY, Mary (or Mare, as many called her) was the youngest child of Warren “Pete” and Helen Carlough. Mary adored her siblings and mourned each deeply when they passed: Geraldine “Jerry” Twyman, Joan Byrd, Warren Carlough, and Nancy Thurecht. She poured her love for her siblings into her beloved nieces and nephews. They now, in turn, mourn her passing: Janet Byrd, Nancie (Jim) Tomosunas, Jane Thurecht, Mitchell (Karen) Thurecht, Kate Carlough, and Stephen Carlough, along with sister-in-law Julie Losee.

Her daughters Kathleen and Eileen Kiely (with their respective spouses, Sheri Swain and Peter Cannon), and her granddaughters Caroline and Allie Cannon, were the loves of her life.

Mary lived in Suffern through her high school years, before attending SUNY Albany for two years. She worked at the Hot Shoppes on the NY State Thruway and met her former husband, Stephen Kiely, through mutual friends. This group of friends bonded over a love of music, composing folk tunes with Steve on the guitar and Mary on the banjo, inspired by Mary’s favorite, the Kingston Trio.

Mary and Steve began their married life in Fairfield, CT, eventually moving to New Paltz, NY, with their daughters. IBM brought the young family to Hurley, then the Netherlands, and finally back to Kingston, NY, where they raised their girls through their high school years. The home was a hub for family friendships and growing teens who often turned to “Mrs. K” for advice on romance and life. Mary had a way of communicating with kids as people. She took their concerns seriously, not dismissively, and she earned their trust with their secrets and stories.

Mary and her friends were often together with a pot of coffee (and usually cigarettes) around someone’s kitchen table. An intent observer of life, Mary’s sensitivity and compassion made her a caring listener and sounding board for others. She deeply treasured the friendships forged during these years.

For Mary, there wasn’t a distinction between family and friends – she was all-in for both. After her divorce, with her kids grown, she became a “ride or die” companion for hilarious adventures in California with her niece, Janet, followed by several years in Atlanta with the “Georgia Contingent” of the family. Her art blossomed during this time; if an item wasn’t nailed down, Mare would pick it up, paint a scene on it, and sell it (we all remember the silos – so many silos). It was with the arrival of her adored granddaughters that she left her Southern adventures to return to the North, landing in Carmel, NY, so she could be close by to watch “the littles” grow up.

Besides time with family and friends, Mary enjoyed her “tomes” devoted to medieval history, WWII, and politics. The 24-hour news cycle streamed steadily in the background, but she lost the pleasures of her books and TV as Alzheimer’s ravaged her cognition. What it couldn’t take from her was her capacity to love, and when Mary entered Salem Hills nursing home in Purdys, NY last year, she was the belle of the floor. Mary hugged everyone she saw – both caregivers and residents – and they hugged her right back. The staff repeatedly shared with us how much they loved her. It was one of the happiest years of Mary’s life, which brings her loved ones immense comfort.

It was this great love that likely contributed to her final battle, this time with COVID-19. There was no possible way to defend against this beast after battling for so many years with dementia. After ten days of illness, she chose COVID-19 over Alzheimer’s, as her granddaughter Caroline pointed out, and peacefully left this world.

Her historian’s heart would be thrilled to know that now, she’s more than just a statistic. Instead, Mary Kiely is officially a part of history, with her earned place in the Great Coronavirus Pandemic of 2020.

Rest in peace, Mare.

Due to the current restrictions in place, the family will delay services at this time and instead plan to celebrate Mary’s life this summer when it is safer to gather. In lieu of flowers, the family asks for donations to the Alzheimer’s Association fundraising effort for “The Longest Day” at https://bit.ly/3da57HK to donate online or mail in a check or to support seniors in need by via the AARP Foundation, which helps at-risk seniors, especially during this pandemic at https://www.aarp.org/aarp-foundation.