I am Ed and Barb’s middle daughter, Pam, or as Dad lovingly referred to me, “Sue, Pam, Dee, whatever the hell your name is get over here.”
First off we kids and grandkids want to thank Mom for taking such good care of Dad, not just these past few months, but for their entire 56 years of marriages. Her devotion to Dad exemplified the meaning of “in sickness and in health.” Dad had 28 surgeries and Mom was there for everyone one of them.
When Mom said he was not doing well, I decided to fly out to visit with my folks and help Mom. I arrived on Wednesday and had a great visit with Dad, he even said he couldn’t talk anymore because we had talked so much and because he was so weak. I could tell he was not doing well but had no idea we would lose him the next morning. Our last words to each other were that we loved each other. What a blessing God gave us, one last visit together and Mom not to lose him all alone.
We also want to thank all of you, the friends of my parents, for the loving concern you showed to Dad during his illness these past few months and to Mom after dad’s death. Mom has been showered with so much love and friendship. When we kids and grandkids leave for our homes in Oregon, we know she will be well taken care of.
I would like to share some memories and stories of Dad and later there will be an opportunity for you to share a story about dad if you would like, we would love to hear it.
When I was just 5, Dad moved us from New Jersey to Oregon by travel trailer. We had a sign on the back of our trailer that said, “Oregon or Bust.” I remember cars honking and waving at us as we made our way west. Dad loved to travel by car and we frequently took road trips, whether they were for the day or longer, there were a few things you could count on 1) Bathroom breaks were only available on a very limited basis. 2) if you said you were bored or complained, you were given a map and told to give directions to our destination or answer questions like “how far is to the next town?” As most of you know Dad was not a very patient man, so I learned quickly how to read a map because saying, “Oh, I think we wanted to turn back there” was not something he liked to hear. But I do know how to read a map really well – thank you Dad. 3) Dad liked to take every back road he came across, he would say, “I wonder where that road goes?” and before anyone knew it we turned onto it. I have many vivid memories of Mom saying, “Ed oh Ed” over and over again on one lane dirt roads high up in the mountains with not another car in sight And 4) Mom made the best lunches when we took Sunday drives.
One of the first surgeries I remember Dad having is when he blew out his knee. Mom was driving the Travel-All (an SUV) on the beach very slowly and Dad was jogging behind throwing driftwood in (why he was doing this I can’t remember) but we girls were sitting in the back with the tailgate down helping organize the driftwood when he tossed it in. All of a sudden he yelled in pain and said stop. Well Mom slammed on the breaks while Dad was hobbling behind the car and he ran smack into the back of it. Oh you know how well he took that.
As you know, Dad was no stranger to hospitals and had severe allergies to many things. He was not supposed to try new medication alone. Well, since when did Dad think he needed to follow all the rules? When I was about 17, Dad tried some new medication when he was home, alone. He had an allergic reaction to it and couldn’t breathe. His inhalers were not in the house. He called 911 and on the way to the hospital the ambulance broke down- but they treated him in route and he was feeling much better. He did call Sue before leaving the house to tell her what was happening. Sue tracked down Mom and Mom went to the hospital. She arrived at the same time as Dad, who refused to be seen by the hospital. When Mom got home, alone, I asked where Dad was, she just said, “Oh you know your father, it’s cribbage night, I had to drop him off on the way home from the hospital so he could play.” That was Dad.
Since Dad never had any sons, I became his sidekick. I did a lot with Dad and learned a lot from Dad. Some of the best times I remember where working outside, cutting down trees, chopping firewood, learning to drive a tractor and run a chain saw. The fondest times were when we shot trap together. I got to spend a lot of time with dad and his friends at the gun club. I always remember Dad playing practical jokes on friends and having practical jokes played on Dad. I will never forgot the time Dad was sitting at the breakfast table in his underwear and some strangers came in the view our house, because we had several Open House Signs on our front lawn. Dad never came to breakfast in his underwear again.
Dad always liked to take care of business first. It was not unusual for him to call up and say, “Let me talk to Spencer.” – my husband. I would reply, “I’m fine, the kids are doing great and how are you?” He would laugh and say alright let me talk to Spencer. Dad loved having a son-in-law that could fix what he couldn’t and who understand that dad telling them to do something was really his way of asking. When Spencer proposed to me by discing in a wheat field,” Pam marry me” Dad called all the newspapers and TV stations. We ended up being on TV and it was shone nationwide. When Spencer would ask for Dad’s help with wiring projects on the farm and Spencer always had to remind Dad to slow down so Spencer could learn how to do it.
Dad loved my sister Sue’s family. 32 years ago when DJ, the first grandchild, was born, Dad was overjoyed to have a grandson. Pretty soon Sue and Terry had Chris and Dad spent a lot of time with his grandsons. Dad was a younger man when DJ and Chris were growing up, it was like having another batch of kids to explore and have fun with, but with the added benefit of sending them home at the end of the day. The boys have so many fond memories of doing things with grampa. Dad loved my sister’s Dee great big heart and her kindness. He always called her Dee Baby and treated her like his little princess. He was always right there for her. I remember when she had her first accident, he took off in this little Honda 5 speed we had, forgetting all about the cast he had on his foot – he wanted to be with his Dee Baby. Dad loved to talk fishing and guns with Dee’s husband Fred. He valued Fred’s opinions on these subjects. When my son Duncan was born 16 years ago, Dad was thrilled to have another grandson and loved the young man Duncan grew into. He loved to golf and play cribbage with Duncan and hear about Duncan’s hunting stories as Dad passed down his hunting rifles to Duncan. When my daughter Ally came along, both Mom and dad were overjoyed to have a granddaughter. Everytime Ally saw grampa, she would gently tug his beard and he would gently say, “Owe," They had a special bond and grampa let Ally get away with so much more than his kids or grandsons ever did. Dad never thought he would live long enough to see great-grandkids, but DJ and Kimmi gave him two grandsons - Dad loved Hayden and Mason and thought DJ and Kimmi were great parents.
Dad was proud of his work as a commercial electrician. Whenever we were out and about Dad loved to say, “Girls, I wired that building” and point at it. A tradition I have carried on as I tell my kids, “Grampa wired that building.” He learned to be an electrician in the Navy. One of my favorite stories about Dad in the Navy is when he was on a ship and went to the kitchen in between meals to ask if he could get something to eat. Of course the answer was no. So dad decided that the kitchen needed some electrical repairs and he shut the power off to the kitchen. The cook was very upset as he had to prepare the next meal and couldn’t with the power off. Dad said a sandwich would sure speed up the repairs. The repairs were made in record time.
Dad wasn’t mean spirited; he just thought people should help each other out. I think that is why he loved Happy Trails so much. You all come here with different back grounds, education and experiences. But you all desire to live in a happy, active community where you know your neighbors and lend a hand when it is needed. Where you look out for each other and enjoy each other’s company. He was so happy here and that is because of you, his friends. I want to thank you all again for your friendship, love and support to my parents.
In the immortal words of my Dad, “Girls, I am not always going to be around, so you better learn to do this for yourself.” I don’t know how we are going to learn to live without Dad and ask you all to hold us in your thoughts and prayers. I couldn’t have asked for a better father and friend.
Grandson Duncan Gates wrote this Get Well card to Grandpa and Grandpa read the card the day before he died: Dear Grandpa, I hope you get better soon. I love and care about you so much and I hope I get to see you soon. You are my absolute favorite person in the world. You are smart, funny and a great golfer and I love being with you and playing cards and eating Subway. There is nothing else I would rather do than spend time with you. If I grow up to be anything like you I would be the happiest man alive and for the rest of my life I would be happy. I love you Grandpa. Love Duncan
Duncan also wrote this Eulogy: My Grandpa - I loved my Grandpa so much. It's going to be hard to not have him here anymore. When he was in Oregon with me we would always have so much fun together. In the mornings we would go out golfing. I could out drive him but he would always win. Then afterwards I would by us lunch because he would pay for golf. Then in the evenings I would go over to his 5th Wheel, that is parked at my family's farm, and we would play 5 games of cribbage. He would usually win. Another thing that he would do was tell me stories about him being in the Navy. He told me that the night before he was scheduled for discharge, there was a problem with one of the fuse boxes and him and another guy who was also going to be discharged the next day said they would do down and take care of it. He told me that they tore the hell out the that thing and left a huge mess for the other guys to clean up. I am going to miss all of my Grandpa's stories and golf and cribbage. I loved him so much.
Granddaughter Allison Gates wrote this Eulogy: Grandpa - My Grandpa was so funny sometimes. I loved him very much. Grandpa and I would play a game. When he would leave I would pull his beard and he would pull my hair, I miss that. At my Grandpa and Granma's 5th Wheel I would play cribbage. Grandpa would most of the time beat me. At Nehalem, Grandpa, Spencer Duncan, DJ and Chris and me would go out crabbing. We would have a lot of fun doing that. I went golfing with Grandpa and Duncan one time. I learned a few new words that day.
I am Ed’s daughter, Diane or as my dad referred to me as Dee Dee Baby as I was his youngest of his three children. Dad really wanted a son, but he ended up with three girls.
Growing up I couldn’t understand why there were so little pictures of me and so many of my sisters. I thought I must be adopted. I would constantly ask my parents. Finally one day Dad looked at me and said, “Dee, if you were adopted, don’t you think you would have been a boy?” I no longer questioned my birth after that day.
If you knew my dad, you know that he didn’t mince words. You knew where you stood with him. He was the most stubborn, aggravating and demanding man I knew. He was also loving and gentle. All of these characteristics made him a good Father.
He was and still is the only man I knew that could fix anything and I mean anything.
As Pam mentioned my Dad was a Commercial Electrician for Christenson Electric. My friend’s husband Dave decided he wanted to be an electrician and got on a job assignment with my Dad. One day while visiting with Dave he looked at me and laughingly shaking his head and said, Your Dad is tough. He doesn’t tolerate any excuses. He continued to tell me the story about a guy that worked for Dad that didn’t show up on time. My dad said if you are not here on time tomorrow, don’t bother showing up. The guy did show up the next day, but of course not on time. Dad said that’s it, you’re done. I told you if you didn’t show up on time not to bother coming in. Dave said, I do exactly what your dad tells me to do.
One time my husband Fred who knows nothing about electrical stuff called Dad to ask him a question about changing out a light switch. My dad said, “First, let me ask you a question, who will be changing the light switch? You or my daughter? Fred said, I will. Dad then said, don’t bother turning off the switch at the breaker then.
I have so many good memories of my Dad. He always took us so many places and always tried to teach us so many things. I know how to properly water green scallions so you don’t break the tops off, how to get out of grass cutting by running the lawn mower into every hole in the yard, how not to drop unbreakable Corelle dishes on the cement floor in Fred Meyer, because they will break. I can identify the different crops growing in fields along the roads, I can identify tools, change a tire, drive a stick shift and stop on a gravel hill and be able to start back up without spinning the tires or hitting anyone behind me.
One of my fondest memories is when, my parents used to host a neighbor Christmas party ever year. Dad would dress up and play Santa. He had a routine of how he would get away to change into his Santa outfit. He would always announce in a loud voice, “I am going to the bathroom now”. All of us kids were sent to the family room at the other end of the house. We would hear a bell ring and we would rush to the living room, and there was “Santa”.
As we grew up, my sister and my friends began to question Santa’s existence. Dad got wind of this and decided to change things up bit unbeknown to us kids. So the time came for his routine and he announced, “I am going to the bathroom now,” so all of us kids went to the family room and then we heard the bell ring and we all went into the living room and there was Santa. We were all non believers at this time so instead of saying Hi Santa, we all said Hi Dad/Mr. Ptashinski. The room was quiet, then all of the sudden we heard someone say “Hi Santa” when we turned around and looked it was my Dad. That year Santa got so many hugs and kisses and we were believers once again.
My dad lived life to the fullest, from trying to steal an airplane at the age of 12, to eloping with my mother, and raising three girls instead of boys, my dad enjoyed life and lived it to the fullest.
God he’s in your hands now, good luck!!!!!
I have met some of you, for those who I haven’t met I am Ed and Barbra’s grandson Chris from Oregon. To my Grandpa my name was DJ, Duncan, Freeway (which was their dog’s name) or whatever the hell your name is. We all learned when grandpa starting saying all the names he may have not said the correct name but you still would listen.
My earliest memories of Grandpa were learning magic tricks with him. I was about 6 years old when I showed him a magic trick. What I didn’t know is that Grandpa knew the trick, and had some magic tricks of his own. He showed me a shoe box full of magic tricks and guess what my eyes light up like a kid in a candy store. About a year later he saw that I was getting into magic more and more as I was performing little shows for more than just for the family. Grandpa made me the happiest kid when I was 7 that shoe box of magic tricks he gave it to me and guess what Grandpa I still have all the tricks.
I also remember spending the night at the Banks home with my brother DJ and Aunt Pam. It was earlier morning and Grandma was down stairs working in the kitchen and the rest of us were still sleeping. I was in Aunt Pam’s room and DJ was down the hall and Grandpa was in their room. A small earthquake rolled under the house and Aunt Pam woke me up and told me to stand in the doorway and then she went to wake up DJ, of course I didn’t stay where I was told, I followed her. Grandpa slept right through it and when we asked him if he felt the earthquake, he said “what earthquake” and Grandma thought a bear was shaking the house and she was yelling my grandpa’s name.
Some of you may know that Grandpa was stubborn. I say this with love as it wouldn’t be Grandpa if he was not stubborn. I remember when Grandpa was driving his company truck back to the house and Grandma and I where following him. He was pulled over for not wearing his seatbelt. Grandma and I pulled over to wait, and once the officer was done, Grandpa drove off was pulled over on the next block for the same thing. Grandma asked if we should go see if everything was okay. I said to Grandma no we should just go home. After 4 seatbelt tickets and three cop cars it was up to Grandpa to either put on the seatbelt or be taken to jail. Grandpa wised up for a moment and placed his seatbelt on.
When we were younger grandma and grandpa had taken my brother and I on our first plane trip and we went to Disneyland. What kid doesn’t want to go to Disneyland and be there with their grandparents! We could stay up late and eat junk food and go on any ride. Grandpa wanted all of us to go on this ride called Space Mountain before lunch. I remember Grandpa and DJ where the only ones that kind of enjoyed that ride, and Grandma and I didn’t cared for the ride as it was more than her and I could handle.
Eight years ago Aunt Dee and I surprised Grandpa for his 70th birthday here in Arizona. Grandpa showed us around the area and I even went to Mexico for the first time. While in Mexico I had my first margarita and was legally able to drink unlike back home in Oregon. I remember after I finished the first one, grandpa was asking if I wanted a second. I said Grandpa I am good as I am feeling the first one! Then we walked around for a little and I remember Grandpa knew I could buy some Cuban Cigars. So when walking across the border here is Aunt Dee smuggle Cubans for me. Thanks Aunt Dee and thanks Grandpa for the idea.
Grandpa you are a great man, and thank you for teaching me the game you loved so much. I know it may have been a little hard as I am left handed. I remember Grandpa said you will learn this game right handed or he wasn’t going to teach me golf. So all these years later every time I step on the golf course I remember Grandpa as this is the only thing I do right handed.
Grandpa, you will be deeply missed, letting you know Grandma is a great hands and Aunt Pam and Aunt Dee are handling everything. I love you so much and will always remember you. Rest in peace.
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