Mei Ying Cai

On February 13, 1925, a baby girl was born into a wealthy family in the city of Ningbo, Zhe Jian Province, China. She had 4 elder bothers. Being the only girl of the family, the spot light was on her. This girl is our mother, Meiying Cai.

Our mother’s childhood memory was full of happiness and pain. The happiness came from her brothers. She would get up early in the morning, knock on her brother’s doors, and together they would sneak into the family kitchen to lick up the remains of leftover, melted ice cream. Mind you, in these early days, there were no machines called the refrigerator. When the nannies caught wind of this, the kids ran away like dogs. The family had private tutors to give the three of the younger children lessons. During one of these lessons, the boys tried sneaking a few droplets of pee into the tea pot. Only when they finished their prank did they notice the teacher watching them. In the next few minutes, boys received a beating while my mother cried on the side.

Our mother’s pain came from many funerals within the family. From the ages 3 to 14, she lost her father, her elder brother, grandmother, grandfather, and finally her mother. As the children were too young, some relatives took over her father’s business. The business kept losing money and the family began to face financial difficulties.

These childhood experiences helped our mother keep her sense of humor towards life. Too many deaths made her cherish the family. She was always willing to offer help to others. In Ningbo, over last 90 years, the school her grandfather donated to still stands. She was a big believer that “Giving is better than receiving “.

As the family finances began to dwindle, the children let go of many domestic helpers. One nanny stood out though, she took care of our sick mother and three young children. Her loyalty was so famous in the elite circle in Shanghai, that the Minister of Finance family tried to hire her but was not successful. Our mother called her the Noble Nanny. Because of her, our mother admired loyal people and believed this to be a noble quality.

In 1949, our mother’s life turned upside down. The family real estate and assets had disappeared, and my mother joined the workforce. Her first job was a government position. However, a few months later, she failed the political background check. She was demoted to an elementary school position. Luckily, her first group of students were grade 1 students. She taught them for 6 years leading up to their graduation. After six years, the bond between teacher and students became incredibly strong. 70 years following their graduation, they reformed an active social media group to communicate with one another. Our mother talked about this class just 3 days before her passing. She believed this class to be the biggest achievement in her career. She believed that kids have most beautiful souls in the world. She just wanted to prepare them in becoming independent and strong individuals. When she received news that our mother passed away, one student wrote that “as a student, Ms. Cai taught me far more than the knowledge from a book, her wisdom, farsighted, philosophical and strength in real life are my exemplars. She will always live in my heart.”

During the Chinese cultural revolution, due to political pressures, my father suffered a broken spine and a leg. On a cold night in December, my mother and her two children tried to bring him back home with the help of a wagon driver; Ronald was 13 and Xue Ping was 11. Our mother told us that we must be strong and that we must never give up easily. In Chinese we would say, thirty years on the east side of the river and the next thirty years on the west side of river, political criticism and public denouncement doesn’t hold real meaning. This is how our family survived the cultural revolution.

In her later years, our mother led a peaceful life. She spent an hour each day reading the Bible. It seems whatever happened in the past no longer bothered her. She was very good at using WeChat. Once a while, she would reminisce on a Christmas party in Shanghai 75 years ago, she would talk about what the mysterious head of Chinese security agency looked like. She would speak about her dangerous experience crossing the Waiba bridge, a bridge in WW2 Japanese occupied territory and the English Conception zone. During that crossing, she was saved by a wagon driver from Japanese soldier aggression. She was grateful that God gave her a long life, and she prayed that God would take her quickly when the time came.

Her wishes came true. After a short hospital stay of nine days, she passed away. Two days before her passing, she wished me a happy birthday and gave me a big hug. 36 hours later, she now rests in peace.

This is the story of our mother. She exemplified grace, wisdom, confidence, spirit, beauty, and love. Her face, her voice will live in our hearts forever.

Love you, Mom.