Herbert "Herb" Foster Matter

Thank you so much for your prayers, calls, emails and cards during Herb’s illness and death.

Because of Herb’s deep love of the ocean we have decided to have a private family celebration at the coast where we will watch an airplane scatter Herb’s ashes into the sea. We will do all of the things he loved to do at the beach in his memory and throw roses into the ocean to honor him.

This is his Eulogy

My husband was big, strong, broad shouldered and I loved him deeply. I’m not sure I can really express just how much I will miss his bear hugs and quick wit. Not only was he a wonderful husband, but a wonderful father, grandfather, best friend, colleague … and so much more.

Herb’s ability to make everyone laugh, feel comfortable, secure and loved were his greatest strengths. It has been nearly 55 years since we were first married, and I look back over those years with so much happiness.

I remember the first time I saw him—it was in the cafeteria at an aerospace industries company where I was introduced to a big, handsome guy who I was told was my new personnel representative. Little did I know that he would be my PERSONAL representative for a very long time. I honestly thought I had just met my true Prince Charming and I was right. Our first date was to go water skiing. The second date we walked on the sea shore in Santa Cruz and he asked me what I was doing for the rest of my life. We dated, hiked, sailed, camped went to the movies (laughed our way through Paint Your Wagon), continued to laugh, and we fell in love.

Herb was always such a gentleman—well-mannered and polite, but always quick with a witty remark.

His joviality and good nature attracted people the moment he walked in the room, and no one could forget his raucous and contagious laugh.

Born in Texas but raised in Southern California Herb always had a passion for the ocean. He was a true outdoorsman and an avid swimmer (who won many medals), a lifeguard, surfer, scuba diver, sailor fisherman and collegiate water polo player. His favorite match was against the Hungarian National Water Polo team. He never told me who won but always laughed about hooking his toe in his opponent’s swim trunks and yanking them down.

Each of our three children—Paul, Holli and Mike—were his delight.

He cheered them on in wrestling, football, track, soccer, basketball, baseball and softball. He was a wonderful father to them, and I would watch him cheer them on and sometimes coach them.

As they became teenagers, I saw how they would go to him for advice—even if they did run off and do the opposite, as teenagers do. He was always there to pick up the pieces and sort things out. They respected and loved him deeply. Herb was a hardworking and giving man. Not only was he committed to his job—he was also committed to serving his family in whatever they were interested in. He always encouraged us to be involved in life—he brought out the best in us all. He would always say, ‘You have to try it at least once” whether it was broccoli or an activity that seemed unusual to us.

After a serious brain injury, he asked Jesus to be his Savior and would tell anyone and everyone about Jesus. He served at our church as a greeter and a hall monitor in the children’s ministries. Who can forget the big bear of a man asking, “Who’s running in God’s hallway? “ in a big booming voice with a huge smile on his face.

He was my soul mate and my inspiration—my steadfast rock that helped me through thick and thin. Herb supported and loved us all and was always there to help navigate through life’s challenges. He is in heaven now, and I know he is looking down at us through the holes in heaven’s floor with a big smile on his face saying, “Forge ahead—make the best of life—and I’ll see you soon. But right now I am trying out my “herbisms” in heaven.

Goodbye, my dear, sweet husband, you are now whole and healthy and most likely fishing. God bless you my love.

Son's Eulogy:

A worn-out map, a fishing pole, a well-loved leather boot, A path through woods where pine trees stand and silent owls hoot. A father’s heart, a steady hand, a compass for our lives, He gave his love, his time, his all, to help his family thrive. With humor in his every word, and wisdom in his gaze, He was our rock, our biggest fan, through all our childhood days.

He taught us how to cast a line, to tie a perfect knot, And how to laugh when flipping a canoe in a lake, cold and deep. In the ocean, he'd find his peace, where waves would meet the sand, He led the way with steady steps on trails we thought too steep, And held our hands through rocky streams and valleys dark and deep. After work, we’d grab our tools, and in the fading light, He’d show us how to tend the lawn, and make the garden right.

The bleachers were his second home, the field his quiet stage, He cheered us on with all his heart, turning every page. On soccer fields, we'd hear him shout, "Between the two white posts!" He was the coach, the biggest fan, who loved us all the most.

In college years, when I veered off course, you were the steady hand, You watched me make my own mistakes and helped me understand. That fire on "Chiquita Banana," a lesson seared in smoke and flame, And coming home, too drunk, to call you "Dude" and hear you say my name. You’d later laugh and tell the tale, a smile upon your face, And showed me patience, and a quiet, forgiving grace.

For twelve long hours, we'd pack the car, and to California drive, To see the family, make memories, to feel so much alive. He made the journey feel so short, with stories and with songs, A winding road of laughter, where we all felt we belonged.

A laugh that echoed through the room, a story he would tell, A warm embrace, a glass held high, with three fingers of Irish whiskey. He made a place for everyone, a smile to light the night, And filled the world with welcome and a warm and loving light.

Now, as the tides still ebb and flow, a different season starts, But memories of Herb still bloom within our loving hearts. A compass pointing north, a steady, guiding hand, The greatest dad, the kindest friend, who understood the land.

Daughter's Eulogy:

There are so many things I loved about my dad, one of the biggest, he was fun! He loved to laugh, celebrate, gather with family and friends. It was his love language, being together with others, whether hiking, fishing, camping, having a bbq, cheering on his kids in whatever sport they were participating, hanging with his family or helping a friend or family member. He was a master at creating Herbisms, a unique turn of phrase, telling anyone that would stand still long enough the definition of Matter and then offering to demonstrate it, telling anyone holding a baby that it would only get heavier and more expensive and many more. He had a great dry wit, was quick to share his humor and a smile. He shared it with anyone whether they wanted it or not. As a church greeter he would tell people as they arrived to line up on the right if they were house broken, then stand back and watch their confused faces as they tried to decide which side to go. He always got a chuckle out of watching the confusion, his favorite was when someone would laugh with him. He was competitive, one fond memory is when he jumped a curb, went down a gulley just to beat my mom out of a parking lot earning the nickname – Herb the Curb. He was always there when we needed him, captain dependable to the rescue. He loved our mom with every breath he had. He was a huge musical fan, I can’t tell you how many times we listened to Paint Your Wagon, My Fair Lady, Man of LaMancha…to name a few of his favorites. Every family road trip, we packed the car together and as we hit the on ramp he would play “On the Road Again”, one of his favorite songs. It sparked a family tradition we have carried forward for the past 40 years to today, sharing it with his grandkids. I loved doing things with him, gardening, practicing whatever sport just to be around him, watching sports or movies, hiking, beach trips as a family, you name it. He would share life lessons, teach us about respect, integrity, humility, humor, resilience, perseverance, hard work and family…and of course you can fix anything with duct tape and a hammer. I will miss him and his epic bear hugs. I always felt safest in my dad’s bear hugs. He was great at them.